First Time Mom of 1 Week Old Baby Boy!

Hi,

I am a postpartum doula and help moms when they first come home. It is perfectly okay to ask for some help. Go to www.CAPPA.new or DONA where there are some wonderful women who can help with information on the first few weeks home.
If you would like to talk to me, my phone number is on my website. I would be happy to chat with you and answer questions.

All the Best,
M. Cacciapaglia

Congratulations on your little boy! The first few weeks are the toughest but you'll get into a groove soon. My own little boy is 6 months old now - it goes by fast :) I was told by my dr. to feed every three hours for the first month, as babies stomachs are tiny and digest breastmilk quicker than formula. Since my son gained 4lbs the first month, it turned out to be a good strategy :) We are also fans of Gina Ford's routines; we put our boy on her routine at 2 weeks and he has thrived on it, and been sleeping in at least 6 hour stretches since he was 8 weeks old. Her routines get the baby their calories during the day, and helps them sleep better at night. You can get her book "The Contented Baby" on Half.com. And I know everyone says it, but sleep when he sleeps. As for formula, introducing a bottle in the late evening (10-11pm) will NOT hurt him, or make him "nipple confused" AND it is a GREAT time for daddy to get to bond and YOU to get some zzz's. To stay awake, try turning on the TV, that might help. Good luck!! Let me know how it goes :)

you'll be great!! i dont know a single mom who hasnt fallen asleep at night when nursing....just make sure you and baby are in a safe secure place. i always brought baby in bed wiht me as opposed to being in a chair where they could roll off (bed was on floor as well). as for skipping a night feeding, i woudl try not to - i know you're exhausted right now, but i swear your body gets used to it really quickly and your milk is the best for baby. try expressing/pumping a bottle if daddy wants to take a shift. watch out for nipple confusion tho. i wouldnt do this until baby has a GOOD STRONG relationship with your breast. my mom always told me "never wake a sleeping baby"!! i have followed that, and i figure that if he sleeps a little more, he clearly needed it. for the first bit, follow your baby's lead. i think the best thing someone ever said to me was "trust your baby". it has been the best thing ever that i could do. they are so smart....way smarter than we give them credit. hug and cuddle and enjoy the first littel while you have it, cuase its gone before you know!! and remember, no matter what anyone else says they do, or whatever they say, always tell yourself that YOU ARE THE BEST MOMMY THIS LITTLE BABY COULD HAVE!!!!! :) have fun!

You got some great advice and I'm not sure if it was mentioned, but: a dark beer a day (a safe amount for nursing) will keep your milk supply up. Try to pump and let someone give a bottle to let you get some rest -- the sooner you introduce a bottle the better. Neither of my babies had nipple confusion -- they would take milk from anywhere! You may even be able to get a frozen stockpile which you will need should you get sick. And no, a little formula won't hurt them, but you have to pump or your milk will drop.

If I can give you one piece of advice it's to spend $25 and buy "Surviving and Thriving During Your Babies First Year" a 2 dvd set available at www.babygroupvideo.com. It's moderated by Donna Holloran, who has helped thousands of families including tons of celebs in Los Angeles. It features real moms and their babies asking the most common questions and concerns new parents have. She's not hardline in her answers and gives you summaries on the dvd if you only have a couple minutes. Much better than a book because who has time? You can watch while you nurse. She lays out nap and daytime schedules for the various stages of the first year that are invaluable as well as discussions on feeding, returning to work, personal and couple time, etc. I did her group w/my first and plan to do so w/my second. She helped to make me and so many a better mother -- I'm more confident, more rested and more sane because of her. I have a thriving four year old and 10 week old. I give the dvd as a gift all the time and everyone, including repeat moms, loves it and says they learned something that made their life easier!

I had my 2nd when I was 40, and I can tell you, it is harder at that age! Sleep deprivation is a big issue, so the first thing I will say is nap when baby naps!! It will be better in 4-6 months and you can play catch up w/housework and stuff then! All babies are different---do you have any good baby books? Newborns usually nurse every 2 to 3 hours for the first month or two. As far as a relief bottle, it's generally recommended you wait about a month or so until your milk supply is totally up to speed and regulated, then you can pump, freeze or refrigerate, and daddy (or somebody) can give relief bottles. Also, my husband used to change the diaper and bring the baby to me in bed to nurse once a night. That was lovely!! If you're not comfortable nursing in bed yet, he can still change the diaper which will give you a few extra minutes to sleep. If he's sleeping for 3 hours during the day----yeah for you!! Did your pediatrician tell you to count wet diapers during the day the first week or anything like that? We were told to keep a chart as to when he nursed and how many wet diapers we had for my first one. I think he figured we knew what to do w/the 2nd one!I bet your baby doesn't sleep much longer than a 3 hour stretch cuz he'll be hungry. If he goes beyond 3 hours, check on him---does he have a fever (you can tell because his skin will be hot--not warm), is he breathing okay? If all seems well, let him snooze some more. If he regularly goes beyond 3-1/2 hours, I'd discuss it w/my Dr. and see what he says. Staying awake at night----do you watch TV? Sometimes I watched TV while I nursed. Sometimes I dozed a little, but I knew I'd never drop him, so I was good with that. (Mostly I nursed in bed!) Use a lot of pillows and prop him, so if you do doze and are concerned you'll drop, all will be okay. Make sure you're getting your naps when he does and also ask your husband to take early AM duty on his days off for a few weeks or months as you adjust to less sleep. If he's not willing, maybe he'll take over during the day so you can nap? Also, order take-out a few nights a week so you don't have to cook as much. Do some frozen dinners, and when you do cook, try to plan enough for leftovers in a few nights or to freeze for the next week. You really need to do some more planning to make it easier in the long run---cook up an entire pan of chicken breasts and freeze some for later. Cook up a few pounds of ground turkey or beef with some onion, and freeze some for later. You can use for soup, chili, spaghetti, tacos, a Bisquick "Impossible" pie, etc. A few extra minutes can save you time and energy later. Keep in mind you're still recovering and don't try to be super mom or superwife. A dirty or messy house is totally okay for a few weeks---get your sleep, honey!!

Welcome to the new mommy club! It is hard the first month or so staying awake. The best thing to do is nap while your baby naps and let your house fall apart around you. The house cleaning can wait... just keep up with the laundry and if you can afford to, order stuff online so you don't have to go out shopping.

Don't let your newborn sleep longer than 3 hours without eating. For one, your breasts will get too full and you don't want to get to that point... it's very painful to be engorged. If you do get engorged, take a warm shower or use warm compresses to help release the milk, and pump it off!

If you want to do the bottle feeding at night to get extra sleep, try to pump off your milk and save that to feed to your baby. I am a firm believer in breast-feeding and tried to avoid supplementing with formula (your child MAY be allergic to some formulas... you never know until they have side-effects and that's another story in itself).

Another reason to keep up the feedings every 2-3 hours is not to let your baby become underweight. Some moms think they're lucky that their baby sleeps through the night but if the baby's not nursing enough, the baby quickly becomes underweight and could be listed as failing to thrive. That happened to my girlfriend (boy did she panic but everything worked out) so that's why I am telling you to wake your baby to feed at least every 2 1/2 to 3 hours!

Some babies power nurse and are done in 10 minutes on each side. My firstborn was a c-section baby and was so sleepy he constantly fell asleep during nursing and it was an hour ordeal. Some babies nurse well then just like to suckle for comfort. Every baby is different but in my experience I think 10-15 minutes on each side is plenty. There is richer milk that comes towards the end of breast-feeding. The first liquid is watery then the good stuff comes (you'll see... it's denser). Some women just nurse on one side for 20 minutes then save the other side for the next feeding. I did both sides each feeding so I wouldn't get engorged.

You'll be inundated with great advice but these are my 2 cents! Have fun and drink lots of water, eat well, so you don't become dehydrated and tired!

:-) K.

Congrats on your new little baby boy! Be prepared for lots and lots of advice. First and foremost though breath and remember everyone was a first time Mom at one point. Then always no matter what follow your Mommy instincts. I know this is hard especially with the lack of sleep for you. If you don't have "What to Expect the First Year" go out and purchase it. It's a great book to help put some of your questions at ease and to also know that you are not the only one with these questions and then some. You can use it as per say a dictionary/manuel (if that's possible)or just to know what may be happening at stages of your sons life.... Anyway yes you can supplement night time feedings or even day time feedings with formula. This may help you get some extra hours of sleep during the night too. You can mix the powder formula with some of your breast milk too. You need to get into a routine though. You can put your baby on a schedule now so work on it. I know it sounds hard but it just takes a little effort and patience. I have two beautiful children my son just turned 2 and my daughter just turned 4 years old (they are 23 months apart). I worked and commuted two hours each way to work for the first year of my daughters life. So I know this is hard but it can be done believe me. It is important for you to be pumping or breatfeeding on a regular basis to get your milk flow going. Some people have more of a hard time with this than others and by no means are you a bad Mom if it doesn't work out. Our society puts a lot of pressure on women let alone the pressure we put on ourselves. Once you get into a good routine you can start to pump between feedings and stock pile them for say a blessed couple of hours say with your husband or a little pampering for you. You should be feeding your baby about every two-three hours from the time you start feeding him not from finish time. Around 15-20 minutes on each side also be sure to start with the boob you ended on the last feeding. For some with the lack of sleep etc it's hard to remember so you can either keep a log and then look back on it to get some ideas or wear an elastic bracelet that you can switch from wrist to wrist and this will help you remember what side you ended with. So many people have such great ideas you'll have to see (in all your spare time) what works best for you. If I can help with any further questions just let me know.

The Book "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer- how to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby" by Tracy Hogg, is fantastic! I would recommend getting it. You can find it anywhere.
And "Parents" magazine is great too, for any parent. I started to subscribe to this magazine prior to my first pregnancy. I really love it, lot of great tips and information, very useful.

As a first time Mom with a newborn, there are SOOOO many questions and so many "different" answers. One could write a book about it.
But yes, it is very tiring, and newborns will nurse anywhere from 1-2-3 hours apart. You need to look for the infants
hunger signals too....its "rooting" reflex (bringing fist to mouth, turning their cheek toward you etc). Main thing is to nurse long enough so the baby can get to the hind milk.... which takes at least 15 minutes on each side.
A newborn is adjusting to this world, and the concept of "day" and "night". Their sleep really varies... each infant is an individual with a different personality and it can really vary. I have 2 children... my first one slept not so easy, but my 2nd is such a good sleeper AND napper.

You should NOT let him sleep longer than 3 hours without breastfeeding... at least that is what I was told. Your infant is only 1 week old. Here is a link:
http://www.google.com/search?q=can+I+let+my+newborn+sleep...

I also would strongly advise NOT letting your baby "cry it out"... your baby is much too young. This method is used for much older babies/children.

Yes, it is hard and tiring with breastfeeding. But this is the nature of it. All moms go through this. Rest when your infant is napping. At night, yes, Moms often fall asleep while breastfeeding.

Babies grow up so fast... before you know it they will be all grown up. Really. Take heart even in the tiring moments... all will pass. Babies go through MANY different phases of development, good and bad. But being a Mommy is a complete joy. Cherish EVERY and each moment, for is is very precious.
One thing I do with both my children from the moment they were born... is I keep "journal/diary" and note down anything amazing/cute/interesting/and anything about their growing up...then when they are adults, I will give it to them as a special "gift" for them to keep always, and to pass on to their children etc.

Good luck, take care, and congratulations on your new baby!
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

First of all, listen to your instincts - you're a great mom and your baby is lucky to have you!

I subscribe to the lazy-parent method of parenting (I'll be 40 in a month - I have a 7 month old baby and a 4 year old). For me that means breastfeeding on demand (my babies never learned to cry to get my attention for food - I can read the baby's signals of rooting and fussing when he's hungry), sleeping with the baby so he doesn't have to wake all the way up to eat, and breastfeeding on my side on the bed so we can both go back to sleep. I also carry or sling my son whenever he's awake - it allows me to be more aware of his needs for food and sleep, and gives him the warmth and comfort of my body.

Newborns will sleep 18-22 hours a day and could nurse every ten minutes or up to about 3 hours between feedings, depending on how tired/hungry/thirsty they are (if it's hot out, nurse more often - it's their fluid as well as their food). If you can avoid formula, you'll be doing the baby's guts a favor - formula is much gassier and more difficult to digest than breastmilk, and it can take as much as 2 weeks to totally clear out of the baby's system once given.

The biggest words of advice I can give any new mom is to surrender. You are your baby's sole source of food and main source of comfort, at least for now. He's completely helpless and totally without guile. He's not trying to control or dominate you, he's just trying to communicate his basic needs the only way he knows how. Surrender to breastfeeding him whenever he requests it (you'll learn his signals), pick up a magazine or flip on the TV and allow yourself to relax when he's eating (it'll help your milk flow if you take a break), and give yourself permission to just be his mom, especially at first.

Listen to your instincts and you'll do great!
Good luck.
-A.

Hi Andrea,

Welcome to the unfamiliar world of parenting. Some things I would like to mention. Since you are breastfeeding, it is recommended to wake the baby during the daylight hours and let the baby get 1 good stretch at night. 1 (5) hour stretch (if the baby will do it) is ok. You will need to deprograme sleeping patterns. For nine months, unless you worked third shift, you taught the baby sleep all day up all night. When you moved, walked or did any activity this would rock your baby to sleep. When you become exhausted and ready to relax, do you remember how much movement was in the stomach. Same thing is going on now except we want them to sleep at night. This process takes a good 3-4 weeks, depending on if mom isd on any pain meds besides tylenol.

Second thing I would recommend is to write down what time you feed and wet and poopy diapers. You should have a minimum of 6-8 wet diapers and 3-4 poopy diapers. The poop should be loosing it black tarry look and starting to resemble yellow mushy cottage cheese. It may even have curds like cottage cheese. The more poopy diapers the better. Poop is digested food that the body can no longer process and this is the waste product. The more waste then we know that it must be going in if it is coming out.

Last but not least. It is recommended to breastfeed for the first 2-3 weeks before introducing any bottles or pacifiers. THis may sound like a real pain in the A**. Or atleast really inconvenient. The reason to avoid bottle and pacifiers is because babies suck completely different on the bottle than the nipple and they chew on pacifiers. I assume we want to avoid any chewing on the breast. If bottles have been introduced, its not worth beating yourself up over it. It is over and done with. If you have no problems with sore nipples, or refusing to breastfeed. Than continue what you have been doing as long as you have the wet and poopy diapers.

It is not unusual to have overly full breasts, during the first 2-3 weeks. The more often you can get baby to breastfeed, the less swollen you will be. If the breasts hurt, that also means a problem. I would recommend icing your breasts and armpits for 5-10 minutes then applying heat. This will help your body get rid of the milk. I mean to say leak or pump. Even if it runs down the drain, it will produce more milk because we are getting milk out.

Last thing to keep in mind.....Sometime around 3 weeks of age. You will notice your baby have an increased need to eat. It could be every half an hour. THis is also the time when your milk supply will regulate itself. It will seem like your milk has become less or that you don't have enough milk. Your baby can grow as much as 1 whole inch over night during the growth spurts. All they do for 2-3 days is want tyo eat constantly, cry an awful lot and sleep very very little. Be prepared! Now you know what it is, you can get thru it.

I have faith in you as a parent. It can be the most frustrating thing in the world but also the most fullfilling!
If you have additional questions feel free to write me back. I also am a board certified lactation consultant and have worked for WIC for over 14 years! Follow yopur motherly instink. If it doesn't seem right to you. You are probably right.

H. B.

My favorite advice to give new moms who are breastfeeding, is how to do it while still sleeping. I had my babies co-sleep with me so that I could sleep and breastfeed at the same time. It took a little getting used to but I would lay my babies on their side supported by a pillow and I would also sleep on my side. I know the idea of co-sleeping isn't an option for some parents. But I also realized a wonderful way to feed while sleeping in a chair.

I would wrap a sarong (you can use a shawl, an oversized towels, a small sheet, pretty much any cloth that will allow wrap around your shoulders and hold the baby)I would essentially create a sling for my baby (just like the baby slings sold in stores, but cheaper) and put my baby in a feeding position. Far enough away so that they can pull away if the want but close enough so if they want more they can go back on their own with minimal amount of effort. I would still have to wake up to switch sides, but it gave me peace of mind knowing that if I did fall asleep the baby wouldn't fall.

If no has told you yet (took my husband a very long time to figure this one out) when you change your son's diapers, before you actually take the diaper off, just open it a little and place a diaper wipe on his thingy. It keeps the pee from going everywhere.

Like many of the other mothers said don't get to hung up about minutes, hours, how long or how often. the baby will tell you when it needs something. Eventually you will learn your baby's pattern and know when something is off. I know many people say there is a certain amount of whatever, but the reality is all babies are different and there is no magic time frame that fits all.

If you have enough milk trying pumping some of it to save for later. I really liked my mechanic Playtex pump. Not only did it help me save some for later and allow for a babysitter minus formula, but it also was a wonderful way to release the pressure build up. If you don't have the extra supply, of course it is alright to give the baby formula. Yes, I know that breast milk is the best, but there are a lot of good formulas, and something is better than nothing. I know several people who grew up healthy and all they had was formula. (my sister and I among them).

Good-luck

Hi,
Although I was not a first time mom at 40 I was a 2nd and 3rd time mom in my 30's.
All babies are different just like us grown -up's. Some babies will sleep longer than others. Typically a baby who weighs over 10 lbs will sleep through the night, although some may not.
Here's what I did and hopefully you are able to do the same while at home. First of all relax. The your baby boy will let you know what he needs and when. At first when they are the age of your son, they may sleep a lot and only awake for changing and feeding, unless something else, like tummy is bothering him.
My oldest son ate about every 4 hours at first. I too fell asleep while nursing, so I napped as much as possible when he did during times when I was very tired. My 2nd son, nearly 3 months pre-mature (had him in my 30's), at 1st ate every 4 hours, then at around 3 months he was eating 8 oz of formula every TWO hours! He ate so fast I didn't know what to do! My 3rd son ate normally.
As far as breastfeeding and formula. Only you and your baby can decide whether or not you want to replace breastfeeding with formula once during the day.
Yes, it's o.k. for your baby to sleep more than 3/4 hours during the day, he's a newborn that's what they do.
I want to encourage you that everything you are experiencing is what just about everyother mother experiences regardless of age.
You sound like a great mommy!
Oh on the staying awake at night, some may disagree and only you can decide what's best for you and your baby, I would have my son in bed with me and I would nurse him while I was on my side. Some people fear the mother rolling over the child, although I did not seem to have a problem with rolling over.
Hope this helps.

Hi,
I'm a 36 year old mom with a 9 month little girl. It's strange to say, but I think the sleep deprivation may be part of how we transition to motherhood. Through exhaustion, we're sort of forced to let go of our outside agendas and just be with this little person while they get used to the world. Sleeping when she sleeps, drinking lots of water, having loving supportive adults nearby, and crying whenever I can help me to more comfortably go at her pace. It is easy - especially having had so many adult years to fly around like a tornado - to try and pull my child along at my adult pace. But, I'm more and more convinced that the wisdom I need right now in life is coming through her experience and our shared journey... The other piece is that she sleeps with us so I can just roll over and feed her throughout the night. She hears and feels us breathing, feels connected to her family, I have more hours to connect with her rhythms, and we all get better rest. Best of luck, Mama!

Hi Andrea- hang in there! It is hard. I am 36 and know how you feel- exhausted. Newborns, at least mine, didn't/don't really have a set sleep pattern. They sleep when they want, eat when they want. Life gets a teeny bit easier each day they grow. Your baby will grow up fine and healthy- breastfed or with a bottle. Do what is right for you- and your baby will be happiest. Good luck!

Hi Andrea!
Advice? Relax!! Really. Babies know what they need. They sleep when and as long as they need to. They feed when they're hungry. They stop when they're full. Your breasts tell you when to switch sides. If it feels right to you to give formula at night so you don't pass out from exhaustion during the day, then that's right for you and your baby.
Just listen to your heart and trust what you feel. There is no "usual", there's only what is right for your little guy- and he'll tell you.

When the choice to breastfeed you are making a commitment to a very testing time, breastfeeding at first is always the hardest most exhausting time, Breast feed as long as he wants making sure you switch up, there is nothing wrong lying in bed with him and let him nurse if he wants and you also rest while he is. The only way your body is going to produce and keep in demand of his needs are to continue to breast feed if you skip for the sake of sleep and bottle him with formula you will find it is easier and you will get more sleep but supply and demand can not produce if you are breastfeeding when he wants it his hunger know is preparing your body to continue producing just enough for him.
this does not mean you will continue to breast feed every 2 hours forever, as he is growing he will have the amount he wants but more in a feeding so the feedings become longer between each time. You are the mom you have to make the decision between the two, breastfeed less sleep or bottle feed more sleep. There is nothing wrong with any choice you decide if you go for bottle formula he is going to be just fine it is just harder for them to go back and forth from breast milk to formula. Any baby would take the breast milk over formula if they had the choice ( just watch his face when he tries formula for the first time if you decide to.)
Do not let anyone make you feel like if you decide to formula feed then you failed your kid by not breastfeeding. Because
he is still going to grow and become the same as all the others just a baby who needs love!

It gets easier quickly! The first six weeks were a huge adjustment for me. I'm now 44 and my baby girl is 2 1/2. If I knew then what I know now! My only regret was that I didn't approeciate how much she wanted to be held - CONSTANTLY! She seemed to cry every time I set her down. I'm an accomplished person accustomed to handling life well. It was hard to clean , wash, etc. with one hand and baby attached to bjorn. Looking back, I would have relished the time to REST while bonding and holding her. As far as breastfeeding, I fed on demand. This tended to occur every 2 1/2 hours. I elected to use no formula and nursed until she was 18 months old. The oxytocin really kicks in after the first 6 weeks. I pumped every 2 hours after returning to work when she was 4 months and looke forward to feeding her upon my arrival home. Learning to nurse while lying down on my side proved to offer satisfaction for both of us and helped me rest. Good luck, relish and BE PRESENT; the time flies by!
From: E. P.

Hi Andrea! I am 39 years old and have a 7 month old boy (my fifth child!) Trust me it doesn't have to be so stressful. If you are breastfeeding you don't have to feed him on a schedule (if you stay home like me). Just feed him when he's hungry. (Until he doubles his weight he will probably want to eat every 1-2 hours.) His sleeping time will vary and he will sleep more when he has growth spurts. I hardly ever woke my babies up for feeding during the day. If their tummies are content then they will sleep. The only times I woke them up was when I had an appointment or had to be somewhere and I didn't want them to be starving when it was time to go. OK, as for nighttime, we mothers who breastfeed don't have to stay awake when we feed. Have him lay next to you and nurse him while laying down. He will stop nursing when he's full or fast asleep. Just make sure there aren't pillows or blankets around him. When he wakes up, switch him to the other side and go back to sleep. Trust me, every minute of rest makes a difference and you will feel better. About the formula, its ok to give it to him, the only thing I would caution you about is that the bottle releases more milk with less sucking motion and he may get lazy about breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is difficult and tiring the first few months but trust me in this one, it gets much easier and it is the best for your baby. And you don't have to wash bottles!! ENJOY him as much as you can because they grow so fast! God bless you!

I had my children younger, but I have three, so I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert. :) One week old babies sleep ALL THE TIME. I didn't breastfeed, but I'd feed him every 2 hours or so. You should breastfeed for 20 min. on each side every two hours. Of course it's O.K. to supplement with formula once a night. You'll be a better mommy if you've had some rest. Just make sure that your husband is the one feeding him a bottle so he doesn't smell you while eating and get confused. As for the sleep deprivation, it will pass. In a couple of months, he'll be sleeping through the night, and so will you! Congratulations on your baby boy. Enjoy being a mother, it's the best thing you'll ever do! :)

Many congrats on your Son!

You have experience, age and wisdom. Your confidence and intuition will be back on line soon!
Meanwhile read up a bit, but mostly - do what comes naturally and let him show you who he is - when he needs food or sleep etc.

Get to know him and enjoy!
PS
Try him with a bottle, them maybe can you pump some milk - for night feeding in a bottle?

Well, with my kids I was told to let them sleep up to 5 hours before waking them up to eat. But that hardly ever happened! Your baby will feed from every one hour to every 3 hours. Formula wont keep him asleep at night either. I hear that is a myth. This is going to be tough for you. You will be asked by your baby to get up several times a night to feed him. Try not (in my opinion) to bring him to bed with you to breast feed him during the night. It will be super hard to break that habit.
Good luck!

I see you have a lot of responses, but if you still need more support, I highly suggest going to a breastfeeding support group. I went to Bright Beginnings and Beyond in Redondo Beach (I believe that La Leche Leagues do something similar). You go in at a given time a few days a week and weigh your baby. Then you sit in a circle with a dozen other women and breastfeed. A nurse walks around answering any questions (usually about feeding, but they can answer other questions as well). At the end you weigh the baby again to make sure you are giving him a sufficient amount of milk. I found so many benefits to going including: 1. getting out of the house and seeing sunlight 2. talking with other women who are going through the same thing 3. knowing the baby is eating enough 4. being able to ask a professional if what you and your baby are doing is normal 5. getting advice on what you should be doing. It was well worth the $5 per session.

Also, I am a big fan of breastfeeding, but it does not work out for everyone. My milk supply was very low because my baby was premature and spent 5 weeks in the hospital. We did a combination of breastfeeding and formula and he never had nipple confusion. If for some reason breastfeeding does not work out for you, don't let other mothers make you feel guilty about it.

Hello Andrea, My name is P. I'm 52 and the mother of two boys ages 22 and 18. Let me tell you of my personal experience over the last 22 years in the sleep department, because I would hate for you to go thru the same thing as me. My first born didn't sleep thru the night until he was about 4 yrs. he almost never took a nap and would stay awake till we went to bed about 11 p.m. every night. Then I had my second child-- he slept better, but my wakeful sleep pattern was already set. I nursed each of my boys for their first year, and was told by the Dr. no solids before 6 mos. I now think they would have slept better If I would have given them cereal at the earliest possible time. I am still battling insomnia!!! 22 yrs. later!!! GET YOUR SLEEP, LET YOUR BABY SLEEP as long as he wants too. Enjoy it while you can his sleep pattern may change at any time too as he is still a newborn. Also I would definitely have him on some kind of schedule (maybe set by your Dr.) to help him get on YOUR SCHEDULE! This would have helped me so much, I'm sure my sleep would not have gotten so messed up had I put my two on one. Be persistent!! I wish you and your new bundle of joy the very best!!! Happy Slumber, P.

first of all, there is no right and wrong way to do it, so don't stress too much. I read the book "baby wise" which fit well with my lifestyle, so that is the feeding method that I used. basically, feed once every three hours (it says 2 1/2 - 3 1/2, hours, but once you choose a duration that works for both of you, don't waver) three hours on the dot (don't feed to early, even if he cries) and wake him up during the day to feed if 3 hours have passed, During the night, let him sleep as long as you can. Feed the baby, don't let him fall asleep during feeding, then play with him and keep him awake for as long as you can with a newborn. THEN he can sleep - EAT-PLAY-SLEEP. Your child will adapt to the schedule, and you will have a well planned day. At night, you let him sleep as long as he can. The book says it better.

This is very important. Your baby will adapt to whatever you are consistent with, so it is important NOT to fall into any pattern that you will regret later. Some moms love to co-sleep, because the baby will actually learn to find his food even without waking you. But then it could take you a very long time to get the child to sleep alone. Other moms like to feed on demand, but I prefer to be able to plan my day, which is why I chose a schedule. Remember, you cannot really screw up the child too much, but you CAN make it uncomfortable for YOU to continue with your life.

Congratulations!!! And enjoy your baby!

Hi Andrea, congratulations! You're okay. Let him sleep! He'll wake up when he needs to nurse. I went through that with my second daughter. My first woke every two hours and the second one slept for 10 hours the day I brought her home! I was so worried, she eventually woke up more often. He'll let you know what he needs.
I would not give him formula in the night. First, he is going to digest breast milk so much better than formula, it does not have the same composition nor the same nutrients and he may decide it is easier to feed from the bottle and not want to nurse t all. It is worth the effort and the loss of sleep in the short term, especially for him and his future development in all areas. Make sure you are taking the best possible supplements and omega 3's. I can steer you to the best supplements on the market.
Let him eat as much as he wants, he can't be over fed with breast milk, the same is not true with formula.
There are lots of thoughts on the night feeding. I did sleep with my kids when I was breast feeding. It was much simpler for me. That isn't the case for everyone, but worked well for me and I know many who do. That is up to you. If you don't want to do that, I suggest you nap when he naps so you can catch up on your sleep. What ever else needs to be done will always wait for you. Take your time right now and enjoy him, it will be gone in a flash. My first one is 29 now.
Being an older mother is harder, but you can do it. Support your body the best way you can and it will also help him.
www.healthyanswersonline.com is a great place for you to ask questions and seek professional information for yourself and this new little one. Dr. Vicky specializes in pregnancy's and newborns. Just let them know I sent ya...she'll calm your concerns.

I didn't know what they meant by sleep deprivation till I had my first baby. It helped to have my mom stay with me for five weeks. She would stay up with my son from 8:00 to midnight or 1:00 am while I slept. I could not breast feed so my son was on a bottle. We were taught to sleep when the baby sleeps. You may not get much but every little bit helps. I think you can pump and try the bottle when your baby is a few weeks old. It also helps to have someone experienced there to help. Good Luck and don't worry, it's worth it.
Leslie 34, mom of 6 month old

Hello Andrea!

I am also a 1st time mommy! I'd like to think that the concerns you are having are universal because I had the same ones and I am 30 years old~ As far as breastfeeding is concerned I congratulate you for doing it!! My beautiful daughter will be a year old next week and we are STILL breastfeeding! It's awesome!

Here is how I handled it... During the day if my baby girl was taking a long nap, I would wake her after 3 hours MAX to nurse. I didn't want her to go longer than that AND I also treated it as a way to try to show her the difference between night and day. If she woke up on her own before than to nurse, GREAT! At night (as long as she was thriving and gaining weight properly) I would let her wake me to nurse... in those 1st couple months it was about every 1/2/3 hours. After that she did stretch it out to 4-5 hours.

It is VERY important to nurse your baby as often as he wants/needs it because your body will make milk as you produce it - it's a supply and demand situation. These first couple months you're telling your body how much milk to make for your sweet baby boy so I would encourage you to nurse as often as possible and to NOT supplement with formula. I would suggest you wait 4-6 weeks before even introducing a bottle and at that time to pump and bottle feed your breast milk.

As far as staying awake is concerned I would sit up in bed and feed my daughter. Than I would burp her and give her to my husband to put her back to bed (we co-slept for the 1st 6 months - she slept in our room). Sure, I fell asleep every now and then, it happens. Just try to sit up as much as possible (rather than lying down) and make a note of the time so you can keep track of his feedings.

I too am a huge breast feeding advocate and I went to a breast feeding support group for 8 months. I learned A TON! Please feel free to contact me via email thru this site if you have any further questions! I would be more than happy to help!!!!!

Congratulations to you on the birth of your baby boy!

A.~

If this is your first child, at any age, I would consider having a female friend/relative come by just to chat and help out and let you get a nap at least 2-3 times per week. I also suggest that you go out and get yourself a copy of THE BABY BOOK by Dr. Sears -- this will answer all your questions (from birth to age 2) and help with troubleshooting just about anything that might come up. Also, if the hospital/birth team you worked with offer it, I would try meeting with a lactation consultant so that you improve your chances of successfully breastfeeding. If you don't already have one, buy yourself a baby sling (we like the Original baby sling that the Sears book recommends) -- and use it! It really will make your life easier. I am also 40 and have a 9 week old son and a 5 year old son. Best of health and enjoy! aloha JP

Hello Andrea,
Congrats on your bundle of joy! I just had my first 2 1/2 months ago. My baby in the first week slept so much-almost all day-but woke up every two hours or so at night. The Doctor said it was because his schedule was reversed from being in the womb. She also said that in the first couple of weeks it's ok for him to dictate his sleeping schedule then start making a difference of enviroments between night and day so he could tell the difference. She said that to get him to start staying awake during the day not to let him nap for longer than three hours, but at night let him sleep as long as he wants. He'll wake when he's hungry. She said to do everything low key at night. For example, when breastfeeding don't turn on any lights or stimulate him in any way. When I first started to breastfeed my baby my nipples tore really bad so I tried using formula for my own sanity, but I found I was losing my milk supply and quickly stopped and just stuck it out. I'm glad i did. At first it would take him between 40-60 minutes to feed him. So if you're breastfeeding it will feel like you hardly have any downtime, but it's great bonding time. After maybe is fifth week to present and breastfeeding exclusively it take 10-20 minutes with about 2 hours downtime. At present, using the advise my Pediatritian gave me he sleeps till 6 in the morning. As far as staying awake at night....I feel your pain! Haha. There were times I would have to tense my whole body to keep up at night. I wish I knew a solution, but I really did was stick it out. The best thing I could tell you is, during the daytime, sleep when he sleeps. That way you can at least get a couple hours here and there. Good luck, I hope this helps a little. Have fun with your munchkin and cherish every second because you will be surprised when he starts to grow out of his newborn cloths how sad you actually get that he's growing so fast. :)

Congratulations! What a blessing!

I am not quite your age but had my three children later compared to my friends from hig school. My youngest daughter was born 5 months ago, and I am 37 now.

Newborns all vary with sleeping habits. I found that mine generally napped an hour or two and then nursed for 30-45 minutes and then napped again. My two oldest babies (one girl, one boy) both preferred sleeping two hours at a time and then nursing, clear up to a year old. My newest daughter sleeps through the night at 5 months (What a relief!). I usually let the baby nurse on one side until empty, and then the other side until he / she is full, and then swithc the next feeding so both breasts are emptied out regularly. Some people put a pin or ribbon on their bra to keep track. It generally winds up being 30-45 minutes, and its hard if you feel pressure to get things done, but it will also force you to sit or lie down and relax a little, as well as eat a snack and drink a couple glasses of water. At newborn, I generally woke them up if they slept longer than about 4 - 5 hours, but mine were such good nursers and voracious eaters, that they never slept that long. I stuck with just breastfeeding until they were 5 - 6 weeks old to alleviate confusion, but mine never seemed to mind going back and forth from the bottle to the breast. I pumped and gave breast milk to my first two, my youngest wound up being unable to nurse and so she switched to formula at 6 weeks (I am very sad about that but she is doing well so I am trying to move on). I fall asleep at night, too. I found a great co - sleeper at babies r us that has washable covers that has an edge all around to protect the baby, as well as positioners inside. My daughter loves it. I started with this in my bed, and then when she was sleeping longer at night, I moved her in the co - sleeper into her crib in the nursery (baby monitors are also a really great thing). The co - sleeper made her feel very secure when she was still quite small.

You are always welcome to email me if you have questions. First babies are always a little scary because they don't come with instruction manuals! I also found it very hard to learn to switch back and forth from being a career mom and an at - home mom. So, email if you have more questions, or just want to talk to another mommy for a while. Best of luck, and congratulations!

Hang in there!!! it gets easier I promise...I am 39 and by baby just turned 3 months......Yes it's OK to suppliment with formula or bottle of breastmilk as long is you have enough milk I wouldn't even worry about skipping a feeding you will be fine....A newborn like that will sleep up to 20 hours a day! Mine usually ate for about a half hour, was awake for about 1 hour "playing" and then slept for about 1-2 hours...so he ate about every 2 1/2-3 hours...I wouldn't let a newborn sleep for more then 4 hours without feeding him, you can wake him up by turning on the lights, taking off blankets etc...and trying to talk to him gently....or you can even "dream feed" him if he will let you while he is asleep...at that age my baby never went more then 4hours at night without waking up on his own to eat, but each baby is different....We ALWAYS had my hubby do a middle of the night feeding which was great for me! I never fell asleep while breatfeeding, so I can't help you there..sorry - good luck it gets easier and easier every day I promise!

Andrea,

Congratulations on your new baby! First of all, take a moment to take a deep breath. Trust your instincts and watch for your baby's cues.

Baby's pretty much sleep all day and all night. And wake up to eat or because they need their diaper changed.

I'm assuming that there wasn't any concern of his weight, otherwise the doctors and nurses would have let you know of any concern. If you're not sure, don't be afraid to call the pediatrician or lactation specialist.

Feed him as often as he wants. That means you have to know how to tell when he's hungry. Watch for early feeding cues (not at clocks). If he opens his mouth and turns his head from side to side, brings his hands to his mouth, or if he's in a deep sleep, you may notice that he'll go into a lighter sleep with rapid eye movement. His eyes will be closed, but you can tell that they are moving under his eyelids.

Keep in mind that crying is one of the last signs of hunger.

If you're not sure whether or not he's getting enough, look to him again (not at clocks). After you feed him, does he look satisfied? If he wakes up shortly after you put him down, he might not have had enough to eat. You want to have him empty one side before offering the other. That's to ensure that he gets the fulfilling "hindmilk."

You also want to look at how many times he pees and poops. He should pee at least 7-8 times a day and poop at least 1 time a day (could also poop with EVERY feeding).

I was in school when I had my first. So sleep was essential to me. I would nurse her at night only to find that I was waking only when it was time for the next feeding and she needed help latching on. As long as baby is healthy and his airway is clear, it shouldn't be a problem if you dose off during a feeding. That must be one of the reasons babies and moms can breastfeed while laying down. :)
In regards to giving him a bottle, that depends on you breastfeeding goals. Giving him a bottle will affect your milk supply. And giving him formula will affect his digestive system. So before you continue with those things, get a little more information on the risks and benefits and see if it's still something you want to consider.

Good luck with everything and make sure that you are comfortable with the choices you make. That you and your husband are making those choices for the best for your family.

Here's a little something from breastfeedingmadesimple.com

THE “NATURAL LAWS” OF BREASTFEEDING
Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Ph.D., IBCLC

Today, most new mothers breastfeed their babies. But women often find breastfeeding more challenging than they expected. Mothers may experience sore nipples, engorgement, or low milk supply. Because of these challenges, many mothers quit breastfeeding in the first few days or weeks.

In 2003, a little more than 70% of American mothers began breastfeeding. But by three months, only 50% were breastfeeding and by six months this number dropped to 36%. Why do women give up on breastfeeding despite recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics to breastfeed for at least one year? Often times, it is because women don’t know how to work with their inborn abilities; what we’ve called the “natural laws” of breastfeeding. Based on the latest research, the natural laws can help you sort through conflicting breastfeeding advice and meet your breastfeeding goals.

Law #1: Babies are hardwired to breastfeed
Mothers often think breastfeeding is something they do to their babies. Actually, breastfeeding works best when babies and mothers are active partners. At birth babies have reflexes that cause them to instinctively push themselves up to the breast and latch on without any help at all. Just like all newborn mammals, our babies are born with the skills they need to feed. And the more their inborn hardwiring is understood and used, the more smoothly breastfeeding tends to go.

Law #2: Mother’s body is baby’s natural habitat
Mothers often wonder why newborns get so upset when they are set down. What moms don’t realize is that babies instinctually react this way. When newborn mammals are left alone, their survival instinct kicks in and they react in a way to bring mom back. Human babies have a similar response; when left alone they instinctually “know” that they must be re-united with their mothers. So they cry and protest. Their little bodies release stress hormones, which shuts down digestion and growth. In contrast, when they are with their mothers, they relax, allowing their bodies to grow. Touching and holding promotes healthy relationships and normal growth. When babies are not touched or held, they have physical and emotional problems, often for the rest of their lives.

Law #3: Better feel and flow happen in the comfort zone
Many mothers believe that painful cracked and bleeding nipples are a normal part of breastfeeding. Thank goodness this is not true! Nipple trauma often means that the baby needs to take the breast deeper into his mouth. When the baby is latched on well and the nipple is in the baby’s “comfort zone” (near where the roof of the mouth turns from hard to soft) breastfeeding should not hurt. When a mother is in pain, most likely all she needs are some minor adjustments to make breastfeeding comfortable (see www.BreastfeedingMadeSimple.com for more).

Law #4: More breastfeeding at first means more milk later
In the first few days after birth, a mother’s body is fully capable of providing everything her baby needs. Her first milk—colostrum—is available in just the right amounts. By breastfeeding long and often in the first weeks, a baby sets her mother’s milk supply for now and for later. Giving formula during this time decreases a mother’s milk supply and puts a baby at risk for later health problems.

Law #5: Every breastfeeding couple has its own rhythm
Mothers often wonder whether it’s best to feed their babies on demand or on a schedule. One factor they rarely mention, though, is the size of their babies’ stomachs. At first, a baby’s stomach is as small as a marble. This means that babies need to feed often and it is unreasonable to expect them to follow a schedule in the early days. When babies grow and their stomachs can hold more milk, they will often have more regular feeding patterns. When babies’ feeding is rigidly scheduled, especially in the early weeks, they become stressed and they may stop gaining weight.

Law #6: More milk out equals more milk made
With the latest research, we have a clearer picture of what affects milk supply, and it’s not fluid intake, diet, or rest. One vital factor is the number of times per day that you drain your breasts. The more often and fully you drain your breasts, the more milk you produce. Another factor affecting milk supply is how much milk a mother’s breasts can comfortably hold, because drained breasts make milk faster and full breasts make milk slowly. Anyone who tells you that you need to let your breasts “fill up” before feeding has got it all wrong!

Law #7: Children wean naturally
When it is time to wean, many mothers are told to just stop breastfeeding, bind their breasts, and wait until the milk (and pain) is gone. But this is the most difficult weaning possible. What most mothers don’t know is that weaning doesn’t have to be traumatic. All children will eventually outgrow breastfeeding, even if you do nothing.

In summary, the seven laws of breastfeeding can help make breastfeeding the simple and joyful experience it was meant to be. To learn more, visit our Web site: www.BreastfeeedingMadeSimple.com.

Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC and Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Ph.D., IBCLC are authors of Breastfeeding Made Simple: 7 Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers (October 2005, New Harbinger Publications). Article to appear in Cleveland Family, Fall 2005.

Andrea,
I only a minute, my 8 month old is waking from a nap. I will be 39 in April and he is my first. Please get the book "The Womanly Art of Breast feeding" or check out your local La Leche League for breast feeding help. DO NOT give formula so you can sleep. You will seriously jeopardize your milk supply at this early stage. Your baby is only one week old. Why would you want to give him cow's milk with his tiny little immature digestive system? Cow's milk is for cows - big dumb animals. Human milk is for babies - intelligent smaller animals. Sleep deprivation is part of being a mom. This is what you signed up for :-) You need to get ready for more sleep deprivation than that! Your baby will usually sleep 18-20 hours this young. Your baby needs to nurse approx. every 2 hours. Some nurse more, like every 1.5. If he sleeps longer than 2 or 2.5 hours, put him to your breast to nurse. He will latch and nurse and fall back to sleep. If you want more rest you need to co-sleep or get the Arms Reach Co Sleeper to attach to your bed. All you have to do is roll over and nurse your baby an go back to sleep. I slept in a recliner with my baby on my nursing pillow for the first 2 weeks. Then we used a Snuggle Nest and had him in my bed next to me. We co slept for 4.5 months then I put him in his crib in our room for 1 month, then moved him into his own room. Of course, mine is teething now, so he comes to bed with us again each night. Oh yea, if you want some sleep LATER, get a good electric pump (I used Medela) and pump and let someone else (your husband?) feed the baby and you can sleep. But don't do this until your milk supply is well established or your milk won't keep up with your baby's demand. Please go to a la leche league meeting if you want to breast feed. My milk didn't come in until day 6 and I have successfully nursed for 8 months now. It is so rewarding. My baby went on a nursing strike for 4 days when he was 4 months old. I ran out of pumped breast milk and couldn't pump enough to keep up with him so I gave in and gave him small amounts of formula. I cried. It was heartbreaking. I hope he doesn't develop milk allergies from being sensitized to cow's milk so young. We are not going to switch him over to cow's milk at 1 year either. There is no need. I plan to breast feed him longer than a year. Later, he can drink water, diluted fruit juice, oat milk, almond milk, etc...
Enjoy this time. You are building a bond with your baby. Can I also recommend wearing your baby. Get a sling (I loved The New Native and The Over The Shoulder Baby Holder) at this young age. Carrying your baby in a sling calms them. They were inside you for 9 months and they still want to be close. Wear him as much as possible, sleep next to him and nurse him. Those are the 3 best things you can do for your baby. Oh, and try not to give a pacifier. You are his pacifier. You want him to come to you for those needs. Pacifiers can also jeopardize milk supply. Have fun and enjoy being a 40 yr old mom! It's never too late. I think we are going to have 1 more!! :-) - Once I get some sleep!!!
D.

Aloha Andrea-I had my boys at 36 and almost 39 so I can relate. I too breastfed and both of them nursed about every two to three hours. And, yes your baby is right on schedule sleeping most of the day and night. Newborns take some time to adjust to our hectic routines and having to sit for a while nursing is God's way of saying, "slow down and enjoy this time, because it passes way too quickly"; I found the best solution for me at night was to have a cradle next to my bed. Both baby and I slept better when in our own spaces. At night, when he woke, I would just lift him up and feed him with me. I found one of those bed chairs with arms was the greatest thing ever! Then after about twenty minutes I would put him back in his cradle. I see nothing wrong with a formula feeding once a night (by your husband). Neither of my boys slept through the night until 15 months old and I always fed on demand, not on a schedule, but it was such a wonderful time of my life. I would try to sleep when they napped in the daytime so I didn't feel sleep deprived. This time will pass so quickly, soon baby will be more active in the day and will probably sleep better at night. Most do.Hang in there, you sound like a caring mom.C.

Hi Andrea,
The best time I evern invested in my child was reading BabyWise. This book takes the guessing game away from parenting. It helps set guidelines to follow and reassures you of the constant decision making you are now having to do...Please let me know how you like it if you read it. Or if you have more quesitons about it, let me know and I'll go more in depth about it:)
M.

This is my advice from my own experience (have 8month old)and am a huge advocate for breastfeeding so take what you want from it.
Your baby may want to east as often as every 1 1/2 hours. And the timing is calculated by when they start their feeding. Similar to timing of contractions. I know once my baby slept for over 5 hours and all of my friends had diff advice if / when to wake her up. The end result was don't have her sleep more than 3 hours at that age because she will wake up super hungry and may not latch well. Personally if you can avoid formula for at least 6 weeks I say go for it! That way her system can try and only get used to the breastmilk for now. Your baby is entirely too young to get a full nights sleep. Hopefully you can be sleeping when he sleeps! I know it will feel like you can't get anything done, return any calls, write any emails, let alone cook some food and it's true.
Also depending on how much milk you are producing it may take as little as 10 minutes to feed him or 30 min on each boob. You will need to gage this. I would use the pump to see how much came out.
In the end I say keep trying to only breastfeed if you can!
DO it in bed so you can fall asleep with your baby!
And rest. You will be sleepy for a couple of months but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter now sleeps 11 hours a night everynight at 8months! Congratulations!

Hi - I am a mom of 3 children, an 11 year old, a 9 year old and now a 5 month old. I turned 40 in december. Every baby is different and needs different amounts of sleep and needs to nurse more or less often than another baby. My little one hardly sleeps during the day and because I am still nursing, wakes up every 2 to 3 hours (although we are having the occasional night of 5 to 6 hours at a time). As long as your baby is gaining weight, it is okay to let them sleep. If your milk has come in and the baby is getting enough, then don't worry. Some people think you have to wake the baby on a schedule. I don't think that is necessary and never have done that. Your baby will wake up when he is hungry. YOu just need to nurse enough for him to be satisfied and for your milk supply to be established. In the first few months I fell asleep almost every night in the rocking chair while I was nursing my son. I would go into his room at 2:00 am and the next thing I knew it was 4:00 am. Some people worry about the baby's safety, however, I realized that I would wake up every time he moved. I put a pillow on my lap to support him and held him and if we fell asleep it was okay. It is perfectly okay to give formula as often as you want or need. If you are nursing most of the time, in my experience, your milk supply will be maintained. With my first, I nursed for 4 months, my second was for 2 months, and I am now at 5 months with my third. They are all perfectly healthy, very few ear infections as toddlers and rarely get sick with the seasonal flus and colds. So do what makes you and your baby happy and comfortable. Everyone you know will have an opinion on the "right" way to do things - as long as your baby is growing and is happy and meeting basic milestones, don't stress about it, do what works for the both of you. There is no "right" way, just what works for you. Enjoy each moment, he will grow up too fast and make sure to take lots of pictures for your scrapbook. Hope this helps - relax and enjoy it! K. D.

Well... when they are so new.. what I experienced is that you are on their schedule. It is rare to have a new baby that sleeps through the night. How often to breastfeed... I breastfed every 2 hours, atleast. Sometimes he'd be hungry sooner. If I know he's got a clean diaper, he's comfortable (temperature wise) then he may be hungry. I'd try it... and most of the time, he'd latch on. It's just process of ilimination. The advice I was given regarding formula and breatfeeding was to not introduce the bottle too soon. Wait about a month. Otherwise, there is a such thing as nipple confusion and you may have a baby that then won't latch back on. The bottle gives the milk much quicker than your breast. So baby may like that better and not return to you if you introduce it too soon. Now, after a month or so, what we did.. was put my milk in a bottle and it took a few tries, but he finally took to it. I pumped and froze my milk. Then you thaw it out and put it in a bottle for baby. That way dad and other family members can help out. The beginning is the toughest! You'll learn your babys cries and what they need. Hang in there!! Oh. as for the night 'sleeping while breastfeeding'.. I had a hard time staying awake sometimes too. So long as baby is safe and you don't have the fear of dropping him. As long as you are both in a safe place during feedings, I don't see the harm in it. Sometimes.... it just happens!!

Im not expecting yet but i do have had 2 kids and i did help raise my sister & others. Also been to many nutrition classes.
The baby will cry to let you know when to eat or when he's uncomfortable (diaper or gas one time i had a hard time getting him to stop crying, found out there was a hair wrapped around his toe inside his pajama, took it off, he calmed down and went to sleep). My 1st baby (son) was waking up to eat every 2 hrs for 1 month then every 3 hrs on the 2nd month.
My girl woke up to eat every 3 hrs for about a month and for the 2nd month she only slept half the night. If they sleep 4 or 5 hrs a night, its ok, its not going to hurt them. Personally i also would wake him up to change and feed him after about 4 hrs. I automatically woke up after 2 or 3 hrs.

Breastfeeding is best and you would be confusing your body to make less milk if you skip at the beginning. Baby needs the nutriants in your milk to raise amune system.
Being that every baby is different, trying out formulas is confusing and you always have to prepare it. Actually it takes more time to prepare and give formula than to breastfeed. Breast milk is ready at any time. No bottles, no sterilizing. If you are out of the house, just throw a blanket over baby and your shoulder. For leakage, i used pre-sewn cloth diapers. I cut it and sewed it and that is so much better than those breast pads you buy at the store. I tried those, i mean one squirt and i had to get another. Wasting money.
Not just that....formulas can upset baby's tummy and may become colicy.
Formula also makes baby's poo stink badly. Makes baby spit up more often and formula stains clothes.
Try to find a breastfeeding class.
These people are great....
http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/
W.I.C. will teach you alllll about breastfeeding and nutrition.
Oh, back then, I found out that chocolate and too much acidic drinks like orange juice and lemonade will upset baby's stomach and make baby throw up. I had a chocolate bar one day and the next day, my baby threw up all the breastmilk.
Try laying down and breastfeed but make sure that your baby's nose is getting air. I did keep my finger between my breast and my baby's tip of the nose for an air passage.
If your breast blocks air, your baby will most likely let go of your breast. Anyway, thats how i got my sleep.
Sleep when the baby sleeps when you can.
Please email me if you need any more advice on burping and calming baby technics... i had a difficult boy that would not burp most of the time and spits up.
You are so very welcome anytime. Congrats!!!
~K.

My vote is for LaLeche League as well...you can find info. on meetings on the internet. There are leaders that can help support you at anytime of the day or night, just a phone call away. And their book: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is FANTASTIC! Babies are born to be breastfed, don't give him formula, please...it's h*** o* his system and will mess up your milk supply. Call a LaLeche League Leader today. Just type in LaLeche League Leaders Las Vegas and you can call any of them, day or night. Trust me, you won't regret the support you will receive from them.

Best wishes,
R.

I just want to say congratulations! I had my second baby girl at 38 years with a 22 year stretch from my first. Anyway, everything will fall into place. Write down all your questions and place them in the diaper bag to ask the PED. You will have quite a few of those visits for a while.

In the mean while, this site is an excellent mom sourse!

Best of luck.
C.

Lots of good advice has already been given but I wanted to suggest you get the book What to Expect in the First Year. It's great for a first time mom and a good reference book too.

Mom of four here. First was born when I was 22. Last when I was 38. Believe me, there is a huge difference in energy level. :0) You are experiencing "First Time Mommy Shock". It is all about acceptance. You need to accept that life as you knew it is now over. The sooner you accept that, the better. I remember the exact moment I got over it when my first was 3 months old. I wish I'd accepted it sooner. Once you accept it, it all becomes easier. Every baby is different. All four of mine were very different, so do not listen if someone tries to tell you "Babies should do this or that". WRONG! Your baby will answer the questions you asked. He will tell you how often to breastfeed and for how long. He will tell you how much he sleeps at night or in the day. If you give formula, you are greatly jeopardizing your breastfeeding. I wouldn't do it. The one thing you do need to know, You WILL be tired, you will feel like you need more sleep. You are a mom now. Welcome to the club... ha! Don't worry about falling asleep while breastfeeding! Lay him next to you in bed and let him nurse. Almost all of my night feedings were done while I dozed back to sleep. That is how nature, or God, whichever you believe, designed it to be. Babies were not meant to sleep in a crib, away from mom.
If he is sleeping 3 or more hours during the day, lucky you! My first was not a sleepy newborn. You should sleep when he sleeps. I know, I know, you have things to do, laundry to wash, dishes to do, etc... All that is WAY down the priority list now. Before you know it, that little guy of yours will be an adorable kindergartener, an active 10 year old, a surly teenager. You will never have this newborn experience with him again. This is where your relationship begins. Develop it! Bond, snuggle, sit and hold him, nurse him, sleep with him, enjoy him. Everything else can take a back seat. It is all about acceptance of your new role as mommy, meeting the needs of your baby. Give in to it, fit into his schedule and do not try to force yours on him, and it will be much easier.

Hi there, I have a 3 weks old boy. The greatest advise someone gave me was "if the baby sleeps-do not wake him up". It's absolutely fine. Newborn should sleep pretty much all day anyhow. You can give baby the formula to make him more full.

Congratulations on being a new Mom. Enjoy every moment, it goes by very fast. You can definitely give formula also if you need extra sleep...and we all do. You can also pump after about an hour, and give that to your little one. I would talk to your Dr. about letting him sleep already. He is only a week old, and they usually need to eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Those calories are important. I've been told that when they are that little they don't always wake up when their hungry, they can actually go into a deep sleep when they should eat. They've been in the womb for 9 months and our bodies have done all the work. So they don't alway wake up like clock work for feedings. I've been in breast feeding clinics and seen babies that are not gaining sufficient amount of calories. A lot of babies can develope Jondice in that first week also. And drinking/ nursing can help with that. So you should watch what their taking in from the beginning. You should see atleast 7 wet diapers a day. If you have a breast feeding clinic in your area they can help you a lot. I would definintely get advice from a Dr though if you are concerned. Thing have changed a lot over the years, on what Drs recommend for our children. And there are reasons for everything.

Well I was 30 when I had my first boy.It might sound harsh but try to keep your baby up during the day as much as possible so that he can sleep thru the night. Also breast feeding is good for the baby, but we too need a rest. So maybe try to pump some extra breast milk so you can give it to the baby at night. But if you try to keep him up during the day he might sleep all night for you. It worked with me. Also when my son got a little older around 8 months I would feed him a small tea spoon of child sereal in his bottle.

Congratulations! I had my now 15-month old daughter at 45, but I do have a son who is 15 1/2 years old. With my daughter, I let her sleep on top of me for the first 3 months and she would wake up and breastfeed during the night when she needed to, usually around 11:00 P.M. (we would get into bed around 7:00-7:30) and then maybe around 1:00 A.M. When she woke up at around 3:00-4:00, my husband would do that feeding with formula and I went back to sleep for a couple more hours. Right from the get go, he always did that feeding and I always supplemented the breastfeeding with formula because I have implants and wanted to make sure she got enough food. I think she fed about every 3 hours, stay up for a while and then usually sleep about an hour to 2 hours.

Dear Andrea,
Congrats on your newest family member, it is such an exciting time! Follow your instincts with your little one. If it seems like your little guy needs to eat, feed him. If he needs to sleep, let him.

I had four children and I breastfed all of them. My first two children were born when I was young, but I was 36 when my youngest was born. Because I had three other children when my youngest was born, I needed to stay on a decent schedule with my youngest. She did have her nights and days mixed up. So, during the day, I would wake her and feed her every two hours, unless we were napping while the others were at school. In the evening, I would always wake her up and feed her one last time before I went to sleep. That way, you knew she has been fed as recently as possible. In the nights, I let her sleep as long as possible. When she slept I tried to sleep. If she slept past the 2 hour mark and I woke up first, I would get up and pump and store the milk. I didn't want to wake the baby while she was sleeping at the right time. I think it is great if dad is willing to take a feeding. But I do think since the nursing thing is new for both you and baby, I think it is a better idea for both you and baby to feel comfortable with the process. if you are feeling comfortable and confident that you and baby both have the hursing thing down, then go ahead and introduce a different kind of nipple. But since you are new to it and so is baby, you might want to wait until baby is between 2-3 weeks.

The mistake I do remember making with my first one was every time she cried,I fed her. That is not right...all it does is make them spit up a lot and get tummy aches from being so distended. Try to listen to the cry and learn why your baby is crying...if you listen and pay attention to the types of cries your baby makes, that will help you have a better idea of what it is your baby needs.

Basically, I believe that feeding your baby on demand is important. But also, they dont need to constantly have a breast in their mouth...do your best to avoid becoming your baby's pacifier. I think during the day you feed as often as baby needs...usually around 1.5 hours-3 hours. Try to sleep when baby sleeps. Try to avoid having a lot of family and friends around where you feel the need to entertain. Your rest is crucial and you need to take naps when ever you can! Try and have baby go as long as possible during the night..that is when you want him to sleep. Do not wake him to feed in the night if at all possible. Your body will wake you up after about two hours any way cuz you will be so full. Like I said, I would pump in those situations and then I had a bottle for my husband to give at another time so I could rest.

If you are afraid that baby will wake up right after you pumped, you can still give him the milk you just pumped. Also, you do not need to empty your breasts if you pump, you can pump for 5 minutes or so just so you are relieved enough to go back to sleep. Remember, if you supplement with formula, that can mess with your milk production. Also, be ready for the growth spurt at around 3 weeks of age.

Best wishes with your new little family! Remember, you are the mom, follow your instincts. You will learn what works for you and works for you son. Trust yourself.

T. C.

First off, congratulations on your new baby. I know you probably feel scared right now, but it truly is a joyous time, so try to relax so that you can enjoy it.
Next, none of us can replace what your Dr./Pediatrician will tell you, and please don't hesitate to call and ask him for anything that worries you. That is what he/she is there for.
I am sure most of our advices will be the same, but because everyone feels a little bit different about things, it may only confuse you, so again call your Dr.

I have 2 boys (aged 1 and 3) and I breastfed them both, but also supplemented with Formula, so yes, you can give formula to take a break from breastfeeding.

Babies this young will sleep about 16 hours a day, so there is no reason to wake them up from a nap. If they don't wake up for a feeding after about 4 or so hours, I would probably wake them, but I personally wouldn't wake them at night time. If they are going to sleep through the night, why would you want to encourage them to wake up by waking them? I am sure some mothers are going to disagree with me there though, so again, ask your Dr.

As far as breastfeeding goes, some mothers do it, whenever the baby gives the signal that they want to, and that could be every 15 minutes for a grazing baby, to every hour and a half or so. I personally felt like I couldn't just sit and breastfeed all day, every 15minutes, so I had mine on a schedule of what the Dr. suggested (every hour and a half) but you should definitely continue to nurse until they pull away and let you know they are done, or until they fall asleep on the breast. Their tummies are so tiny and can only take a little at a time, but then want more very shortly afterwards, so let them go until they "tell you" they are done. (again, that is by pulling away from you or falling asleep at the breast. I was told to tickle their chin if they fall asleep on the breast, and this motion should remind them to continue on with their feeding. If they are full on sleeping, they probably won't and again it is probably a sign that they are done.

I don't know if that answered all of your questions or not, but as each day comes, things will only begin to get easier, so you definitely don't have a reason to worry as much as you are.

Congratulations again, and Good Luck with everything. Don't forget, if all else fails, "Call the Pediatrician"!! They are usually very glad to help.

~~A.~~

Hi Andrea,
First let me say congratulations! This a trying and joyous time, I'm a first time mom to a all day colicky 3 1/2 month old. All babies are different!!!!! There's something to the old phrase, "Never Wake a Sleeping Baby". So if your little guy is of normal birth weight, let him wake naturally. In my short experience I would say it's more important to notice when your baby is showing signs of sleepiness and getting him to sleep. There's a book called "the 90 Minute Sleep Cycle", it really made sense for me and my daughter.
I also feel it's so important to take care of mommy!!!!!!!! If your baby does well with the formula I say go for it. You may want to talk to a lactation consultant to make sure you keep up your milk supply. Another thing is, if you don't give your baby the bottle regularly he could stop taking it. That's what happened to me with my baby girl.
Best wishes,
S.

First off- Congratulations!
Secondly- Follow baby's lead. He knows how much sleep and food he needs. To catch up with my sleep I just co-sleep with my son, that way I don't fully wake up to latch him on, and we both go right back to sleep while nursing. It's worked out really well for us. If you do want to feed with a bottle at night, I strongly suggest pumping breast milk for the feedings. There's no comparison between formula and breast milk when it comes to nutrients and digestion. You just can't beat mother nature, especially when it comes to babies! Using bottles, you do run the risk of baby getting lazy in that bottles are easier to drink from than breasts, but developmentaly nursing is significantly better for baby, and mommie for that matter. Those lovely "feel good" hormones are released when you nurse that will help you tremendously in the coming weeks in coping with lack of sleep, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes post-partum. Ironicaly enough, chemicals released while nursing help your body adjust to the lack of sleep. It's an amazing system! Make sure you continue your prenatal suppliments, and if not already taking one, an Omega-3 complex. Country Life makes one specificaly for post-natal moms which I've found really helps with my moods, energy, focus, and aching joints, not to mention it's excellent for baby brain development. Good Luck! And Relax- trust your instincts and your son.

Before bed I always set out a snack for myself on the couch - a pitcher of ice water and some nuts or something along with the TV remote. When I had to get up, I'd watch TV and have a little snack to keep myself awake. And you might have figured this out by now, but rule #1 when getting up in the night.....go pee FIRST....before you go to the baby. You'll be much more relaxed and not in a hurry to put the baby back down too soon.

Congrats!!! One thing that really helped me was a book called "Baby's First Year, Week-By-Week". It answered all of these kinds of questions for me. Also, just take a deep breath. How you are feeling is normal. Remember, there is really no "right" or "wrong" way to handle naps and feeding - for the most part your baby will let you know what you need. It does get easier-I promise. Good luck!

CONGRATS TO YOU ANDREA! PRAISE GOD FOR NEWBORNS... THEY ARE SUCH LIL' ANGELS..
I had my first born Jeremiah at 38yrs old and I too nursed him, infact I am still nursing him. My son has hardly ever gotten sick. I encourage you to continue nursing him! It's the best thing you'll ever do! Have you tried La Leche League?
Here's a lil' info for you that I know will help you a great deal sweetie. God Bless you and your new lil' angel. I found some info for you in your immediate area..

Leader Information

La Leche League Leaders are experienced mothers who have breastfed their own babies and who have been trained and accredited by La Leche League International to help mothers and mothers-to-be with all aspects of breastfeeding. Your questions can best be answered at meetings or in THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, available at meetings, local libraries and bookstores. However, in some cases immediate help or encouragement over the phone is needed. You may call one of the Leaders listed. Except in an emergency situation, please call between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m., as Leaders have families too.

Reneé ###-###-####
Tamara ###-###-####
Molli ###-###-####

I was terrified of my child for the first 3 months... affraid he would stop breathing, affraid I wasn't taking good care of him, etc. He is now 14 months old and so much fun, and I regret that I didn't enjoy his first few months more... Don't be affraid to call your pediatrician often with lots of questions (try to make a list so you don't hang up and realize you forgot the most important ones!). Of course some formula is okay. Lots of us were raised on formula and turned out just fine. I had no idea about the "only breastfeed or else" community until I was a mom and while I'm sure they mean well, they stressed me out. I enjoyed bringing the baby into bed with me so that I could nurse him while lying down throughout the night (of course, be super careful about rolling over on him, covering him with blankets, etc.) See about going to some new mother support groups, MOMS Club or Mommy & Me classes so you can meet some other moms in your area who are going through the same thing... even though it seems easier to stay at home right now. Once you get the hang of packing up the diaper bag and stroller and baby, you'll be psyched that you ventured out. Parks and libraries are a good place to meet other moms and kids. Most importantly, you have to take good care of yourself. Your son is better off with a happy mom than an exhausted, depressed mom. If neighbors or friends ask what they can do, have them spend an hour or two watching junior so you can get a nap once in awhile.

I'm sure you're doing great!!!

-J.,
www.babymamphotography.com

Andrea,

You might want to get some help from family and friends to give you a break. If you don't have anyone, try hiring a post-partum doula. They are trained in newborn care. If you need a referral, I'd be happy to get you the info. Same with a part-time nanny.

Hi Andrea,
I'm a mother of 4 and breastfed everyone of them. I can totally relate to falling asleep while breastfeeding. While it is important to breastfeed, it's also ok to give a bottle once in a while. You will want to have that freedom later on if need be.You will want him to be able to take a bottle from someone else. I suggest that you pump your milk. I don't know what is on the market in that way now, my youngest about to turn 16. Feed him when he's hungry. It's best not to adhere too strickly to a schedule. If he's sleeping,don't worry. When he's hungry enough, he's wake up. Sometimes you may get too uncomfortable and want to wake him up. I've done that too. At this stage of the game he will sleep a lot. Later you will want to try and get him on a schedule that is good for you. I don't remember when they start sleeping through the night. Every child is different. Just remember, it isn't forever. Enjoy him while he's little.

God Bless You!
L. N.

I too just had my first baby at 40! Congratulations. Anyway, its really tough at first, but dont worry. My son is now almost 3 months. I think they sleep 2-4 hours at a time and seem to nurse constantly at first. I always just nursed on demand and formula is fine too. My son got nipple confused from having formula and then breast feeding, let me know if that happens to you. I recommend getting a breast pump, it has made my life easier and I have no need for formula now and it really helped by milk production in the beginning. I breastfeed my son in bed with me at night and we both often fall asleep in the process, don't let it bother you. I think its really common for babies to sleep with their moms for awhile. I figure when he stops needing the night feedings, then I'll put him in his own bed. I was worried I might suffocate him at first but he likes being close to me and we've had no problems. It sure makes it easier for you to not have to get up every two hours for feedings. Good luck with it!

Andrea,

First of all Congratulations! You are going to have so much fun with your little boy. :)

With regards to your questions - A newborn sleeps from 15-18 hrs a day in the first few weeks. Since you are breastfeeding - you really want to continue feeding him every 2 1/2 - 3 hours for the next week to ensure your milk supply gets established. Right now - it's all about supply & demand. Your body in the 1st 2 weeks after birth is programming itself to have an adequate milk supply for your baby. It's very common for you to feel sleepy during nursing because your body produces a chemical which makes you incredibly sleepy (as if you took a sleeping pill) - both you & your baby will be drowsy from this. I would recommend NOT letting him sleep anymore than 3 hours a day b/c if he sleeps through a feeding - he will wake up at night to make up for the lost calories.

It's ok to give him a bottle at night but I would wait another week just to ensure your milk supply is established. On week 2 - give him a bottle - try pumping if you can so that he can continue with breastmilk. Formula is very h*** o* a newborn's digestive tract.

I am happy to provide you with more tips - I work with new mommies everyday. Please email me directly should you have any further questions. ____@____.com.

Congratulations again on that sweet baby boy! :)

hi Andrea
When I had my son, I went through the same things. I found that my son slept a long time during the day and barely through the night. It took about 2 months for him to get on a regular sleeping schedule. He would wake up every 2 hours to nurse a night. Sometimes at night he would sleep longer and I wouldn't wake him up unless it was more than 4 hours. My husband and I decided for me to pump breast milk, so my husband can feed him at night on his week-ends to give me a break. We gave him formula when I didn't have enough breast milk pumped.

My son would nurse for about 20 minutes on each side until he got better at nursing. The baby will let you know when he is done.

I know it was very hard when he was 2 weeks old because he was constantly wanting to nurse. I had thought that I wasn't producing enough milk. I was told then that he was going through a growth spurt and he was feeding alot to increase my milk supply. I wished I had known that before, because I thought I was going to lose my mind.

As far as staying awake during nursing. I would sleep once he was latched on and I was confortable. I would wake up easily when he would unlatch. I found that I could get some rest while nursing. I just made sure that there was no way for him to fall, in case I fell into a deep sleep. But that never happend. I would wake up with his every movement.

Good luck
Stay with it, Don't give up.
L. M.

You sound just like me, 21 years ago! Deep breath, here we go!

First, contact LaLeche league and they can give you an enormous help regarding breast feeding.

Second, Never wake a sleeping baby! Instead, when baby naps, you nap. Baby will sleep a lot in the beginning as most of his energy is used to grow.

Baby will decide when he is hungry and how much he wants to eat. Offer him the breast, switch sides halfway through or start on left side first for one feeding and right side first for the next feeding.

I really discourage the addition of "food" or "formula" as it can upset the tummy and cause more trouble than it's worth. Stick with breast milk, it's more nutritious.

Keep baby close to you, either in a family bed, or a bassinet next to your bed. The middle of the night feedings will stop in a few month. Breast feeding is very relaxing, so it is normal to get sleepy when you do it.

My favorite book for advice is "Dr. Mom" written by a woman pediatrician with 5 kids of her own. I think the author is M. Neifert?

Don't worry, you love your baby and you will be fine!

Fondly, L.

Feed him as much as he wants as often as he wants it. Never wake him, at such a young age, they sleep most of the day. He's fine, he'll eat when he needs it. Take advantage of this time, get some rest yourself. Sleep when he sleeps. Soon he will not leave you alone. Let him tell you what he wants, he knows.
Of course you can sub formula, but remember the more formula you give him, it may be harder to breastfeed since he needs to suck in order for you to produce more milk. My suggestion is to pump the bottle and feed him breastmilk, but formula is fine as well. Whatever works for you.

I know they say not to do tis, but I slept with my babies. I just had to roll over and feed them instead of getting up and trying to stay awake.

Babies sleep a lot =) It may seem they don't because they are constantly waking to eat and be changed, but in a 24 hour period, a new baby might sleep more than 20 hours. The exhausting part for mom is that he sleeps for 40 minutes out of each hour! I'm exaggerating a bit.

With my daughter, I nursed her basically on demand. When she was hungry, she would squirm and/or cry. There wasn't a pattern really, so I would let her eat until she was happy, or fell asleep. I ended up co-sleeping with her, so I got pretty good at nursing at night and again, she did that on demand. Nursing releases hormones that make you sleepy, and it was nice as she got older because basically once I got her latched on, I could doze off again.

It is perfectly fine to supplement some formula at night so you can sleep (and let daddy have some bonding time too) but just be careful so you don't get a dip in your supply. I never experienced this part, my daughter would never take a bottle. An option if you don't want to mess with formula is to get a breast pump and pump and store milk.

Hey Andrea,
I only have one little boy too...but one thing that I've learned and what people have said....is TO NEVER wake a sleeping baby. Let them sleep. They'll eat when they are hungry, which will usually wake them up. AND if you are breastfeeding and you start to fill up...just pump while the baby sleeps, that way you have breast milk stored up. I did breastfeed. I froze my milk too. I also gave formula from time to time...and that is fine too.

Good luck, and hang in there. It can be frustrating at times...but being a mom is the most wonderful thing.

Hello Andrea, I'm J. I had a baby boy when I was 42 it is hard to stay awake while feeding, but we must do this.I found it easier if I sat in a comfortable chair to feed. Some babies can choke, or need to be burped a couple of times to relieve gas on its stomach or it will be sick and loose all it has eaten, which will only keep you up longer and new moms get little enough sleep as it is. Also it is not a good ideia to change what the baby eats. To change can also cause the baby to become sick. You have chosen to breast feed which gives the baby a much better start in life, try to stick to this plan at least 4months unless your doctor says different, then if you are much to tired you can change to a formula, but it is still wise to sit up while the baby is feeding. Just keep in mind mommy, how precious your baby (is). I had to take extra iron vitamins and Bcomplex to keep up at my age. Take a nap during the day while baby sleeps, be sure to alternate the breasts when feeding so you have a good strong flow and baby gets enough to eat.your son will let you know when he is hungry,after he is changed or bathed, it was wonderful, my boy would nuzzle me in search of his nutrition. I raised 4 and all were breast babies. My last baby is now 15. good luck and hang in there Andrea.Let baby sleep as it needs to. Your son will wake to do all the things expected. My doctor told me to feed 45mins to 1 hr. to get whats needed.

I can't tell you how many times I fell asleep nursing...nothing bad ever happened, but honestly I would think it would be easier at night to just give the baby your breast than get a bottle of formula ready and then hold a bottle...just a thought.

Hi Andrea, Congrats on your new baby but even more congrats on breastfeeding!! It has to be the hardest thing to do and I have breastfed 4 kids, my twins are 7mos and Im still nursing them.Try to hold off on the formula until your son is an expert at breastfeeding, than introduce the bottle. As long as his weight is ok than letting him sleep as long as he wants between breastfeedings is best not only for him but you too. Sleep when he sleeps and forget about the chores, they will always be there for you later. You are still establishing your milk supply so let him nurse at least 15-20min on each side and I say as often as he wants, thats what I did with mine. Drink lots of water too. You will never regret breastfeeding your baby. Enjoy this time. J.

I had my first & only baby @ 39 & turned 40 the next month. She slept all the time the first few weeks. She woke up religously every 2 hours to eat. I would then change her diaper & put her on the boppy (so I wouldn't fall asleep) If you nurse laying down, you'll crash out for sure! I would nurse her between 12 & 20 minutes, switching sides in between. (Some babies go longer). We supplemented her with formula during the day, if we were out somewhere. She did both just fine. If you don't nurse, your boobs will feel like they're going to explode! My child was either sleeping, nursing or pooping for the first month. Don't worry. Sleep when he is sleeping as much as you can, You'll feel sooo much better!

Go to the Pump Station. Sit on the couch have a good cry and then sign up for the breast feeding support group. It will save your life.

It will get better, but it's going to be rough in the sleeping department for a while. Sleep any chance you get.
Feed the baby every chance you get and let them sleep when he wants to sleep, especially in the early months.
Can your husband feed him with expressed breast milk so you have a break?
With my first child, I produced so much milk, I had to pump, otherwise I would have exploded! My husband would feed our son if I wasn't bursting. Formula isn't a problem, but it might reduce your own production because your child isn't stimulating your glands.
Even though we use a co-sleeper, I never stay in bed to nurse. Make sure you are sitting up and not too comfortable, so you don't smother the baby. But, if you can fall asleep while keeping your baby safe, more power to you! I'm still trying to figure that out!
Keep in mind that this constant feeding won't last as long as it seems, so try to tough it out.
I had two children at 34 and 36 and now I'm having my 3rd at, almost, 39. I'd love to have a fourth, but we'll see.

Enjoy the time, it's painful with the lack of sleep, but you'll treasure it when it's over (such irony!).
good luck

It will get better. I am 36 years old and first time mommy. Don't stress out about it or worry too much. When you go to the doctor on your week and 2 week and 4 week check up you will know if your baby is growing that he is getting adequate food supply. At night my baby only woke up once so she was going about 4-5 hours in between feedings, then during the day about every 2 hours. sometimes it would be 1 hour - 3 hours. Your baby will tell you. Key in on the sounds he makes and you will figure out if he is hungry or needs a diaper change or is tired or if they have gas. The sounds are different. My friends baby slept through the night from day one....7 hours so we know they will survive if they end up sleeping longer. Now my baby is 3 months old and sleeps 10 hours or at least stays in her crib that long and then she eats. Don't worry, it will be great. Just get through the first 6 weeks or 2 months and it will get better. Have fun.

Dear Andrea,

Congratulations! We have a baby girl who just turned 6-months yesterday. I have to say it was really difficult for us at the beginning, but enjoy it as much as you can because he will be huge before you know it and you'll look back and miss this stage of his life. :)

From everything I've read, from other mothers' advice, and from our 6 months of experience, here is my advice...

Your baby is one week old so he is WAY too young to be on any kind of schedule, either feeding or sleeping. It is really h*** o* you to nurse and be awake all the time, but this phase won't last very long, so hang in there. Think of it from your son's point of view: until a week ago he had a constant supply of nutrition and was not sleeping on any schedule. Take your time to help him get adjusted to this new world he's just arrived in.

Don't worry about how much he should be sleeping for a few months, let him snooze when he wants to. As for feeding, we woke our baby up every 3 hours to feed her because she slept all the time, but that might not have been necessary. After gaining weight well the first month, our pediatrician said to let her sleep as long as she wanted. As for how long to feed, let him feed for as long as he wants. He'll stop when he's had enough.

Regarding bottles, you should not introduce a bottle for a month or so (not sure exactly what timing is recommended) because the baby will get "nipple confusion". The way a baby sucks on a bottle nipple (or pacifier) and on the mother's nipple is very different, so you want to make sure the breast feeding is well established before introducing any other nipple.

Also, do not introduce formula if you plan to continue breast feeding because your milk supply will decrease (breast milk is so much better for your baby, so keep up the good work!). When you decide to introduce a bottle, pump and give your baby breast milk.

Don't worry about falling asleep while your baby is nursing. You can doze off, as long as your baby is in a safe position. I'm sure you'd wake up if there was any danger of him falling. I've also heard that breast feeding while lying down in bed is comfortable for some women (while the baby is lying down next to you).

I see that someone has suggested Babywise, but beware! See these sites that explain how dangerous that parenting style can be:
www.ezzo.info
www.rickross.com/reference/gfi/gfi1.html
www.cccf-fcsge.ca/practice/health%20watch/babyw_en.html

On the other end of the parenting style spectrum is La Leche League. I'd recommend visiting that website as well to get another perspective:
www.llli.org

I see someone else suggested eating chocolate to keep awake. Be careful of that. Our baby seems to be sensitive to any caffeine I eat and some other foods bother her as well. Chocolate is one of the foods that can cause irritation in babies.

Okay, have to go take care of our little one. Hang in there! Remember that this phase will be over before you know it (even thought it sometimes feels like it will never be over), so enjoy it as much as you can!

H.

Buy the book Babywise... use what you want, but it has helped so much with both of my children's schedules,etc. I will be using with my 3rd (expecting) too. Although it is hard to read with the new one, I think this book is well worth the time and effort (you can also flip through it to find what you need). -AM

I found Gina Ford's Contented Baby Book very instructive on the questions you asked. You don't need to follow it EXACTLY as it's quite rigid, but you can apply the schedule principle and adjust it a bit to suit your life. It's important that you get the breastfeeding on a schedule so that your baby is not just snacking. I'm OK with formula at night but ideally after the first month if you can manage. Also you can try pumping after you feed, to start to build up some supply.

Congrats on a new baby! You are already doing so many things right. By being willing to ask for help, you will get lots of ides to try (some may work for you, some won't). New babies sleep A LOT! Basically they are mostly sleeping and eating the first month or so. I didn't breastfeed, so I can't help with that part, but I have 2 boys. One ate in 4 hour intervals and the other ate in 2-3 hour intervals when they were little. For my one that ate more frequently, I started trying to stretch that time after the first couple weeks, especially at night! When he would start crying, I would wait about 10 minutes to see if he stopped. If he didn't, I would feed him. Also, some people might think giving formula is never right, but I think that if giving some formula at night helps you function and be a better mom during the day - there is nothing wrong with it! I joined a Moms Club when my first son was 6 months old and it has been a lifesaver to me. It gave me a forum to talk to other moms, problem solve, and experience fun things with my child. Good luck!

Hi-I had my first baby boy when I was 36. I breast feed him every three hours during the day and let him sleep a five hour stretch at night which I was told was ok and it worked great. I never gave him formula so I am not sure it is ok to alternate. What if you pumped for the night time bottle? I fell asleep too. After the five hour stretch I would wake up and take him to our oversized coach and breast feed him there and yes I would fall asleep and we were fine because of the way I held him with my arm around him while he breast fed. I ended up cosleeping and he would breastfeed and sleep with me all the time. I was always comfortable with this. If you are nervous about it then I wouldn't do it, but you could use a co-sleeper to extend your bed on your side. I hope this helps. If you want to chat more email me at ____@____.com

Hi, congratulations on your new baby. So exciting and scary. The best advice I received was to go by the babies cues. All babies are so different and just learning what their little cries mean is the most important. My little guy would vary on the time between eating. In one day he would from eating every hour to eating every few hours. He would take a three hour nap and then a 45 minute nap the next time. Once you learn his cues you'll be all set. I love the book about how to learn the language of your babies cries, it was on Oprah and I can't recall the title. Any way, it was a HUGE help in decoding. Good Luck!

M.

Hi Andrea,
My name is A. but go by my middle name, Yvette. I have 3 kids of my own and 2 step- daughters, 6 & 11 yrs. My oldest son is 17, my daughter is 14 and my baby boy that tied the knot is 9 months old, so I have some what experience w/ kids. I breastfed my older 2 kids for 3 months and then formula. I was young, not patient, and went back to school. Now @ 33, I'm a bit wiser and have more patience for him. I started to breastfeed the day he was born and slowly started to introduce Formula for when I return to work. I go to a Breastfeeding Class once a week w/ the Hospital he was born in. It's great! They help you w/ everything you need regards to Breastfeeding and it's also a Resource Center for other family assistance. Community Hospital of San Bernardino, 909/ ###-###-#### or you can call your Hospital you gave birth. Babies need to be taught how to Breastfeed so it's ok if they don't latch on right away or even if they're hungry all the time. Don't give up because then you'll get full of milk and it hurts and the only way out is to pump or feed the baby! And he is depending on you not formula! Hope to hear from you soon. ____@____.com

have you seen the book BABYWISE ? it discusses putting baby on schedule and the great reasons why for them and for mom. babies can go 3-4hrs between feedings and sleep 18-23 hours as newborns. my daughter is now 3 months and is on a 4 hour schedule so example: she eats at 7am which takes us about 30min (when newborn it sometimes took an hour because of the baby falling asleep) and then she checks things out for the next hour or so and then around 9/9:30 she gets fussy and i lay her down to nap until the next feeding at 11am. she is my fourth and they have all done well on babywise and it has given me sanity. if you get on a schedule you will know when you can sleep with baby and when you can get other things done. congratulations - i bet he is an indescribable joy

He will be your best teacher. Follow his lead, but keep track on paper what he is doing. Tracking it will keep you the most sane. When you track it you will know how his schedule is going. I would let him sleep and not wake him to nurse, but nurse him immediately when he wakes. As for how long to nurse him, as long as it takes. I nursed my daughter for a long time (45 min) at that age because I waited until she was 4 weeks to use a pacifier. I had a lot of trouble with nursing and I didn't want anything to mess it up bottle or pacifier. Find a book that you want to follow and that will be really helpful too. Hang in there the first few weeks are not the easiest, but trust yourself you know more than you think you do. Go girl!

Dear Andrea,

He shouldn't go more than 4 hours between nursing - but he will sleep a lot right now - he's tired from the hard work of being born. My first slept through the first night home - I was panicky because I couldn't wake him to feed him. I didn't get to bring my (2nd) baby home until she was 1 week old, and I remember saying that she did nothing but eat and sleep - boy! was I in for a rude awakening! She was my most difficult baby (out of 3), soon sleeping all day and wanting to play all night (when I had a 102+ fever, verging on hysteria, from chicken pox, and a 2 year old that I had to get up with in the morning!). With my babies, they didn't nurse well after I stopped them to burp halfway through, so I just nursed them until they stopped on their own each feeding - I just alternated sides from nursing to nursing - put a safety pin on your bra strap and just flip it around so you remember which side to feed on or start on next feeding. I assume you are not alone. If Daddy is present, go ahead and give formula at night if it works for you. If you are by yourself, then breast would be easier (I would think) than having to ready a bottle. In general, there are things that will be better for your baby (such as nursing), but if it doesn't work for you, and you are stressing over it - then ultimately, it won't benefit the baby. Happy, rested, relaxed, functional mama = happy baby!

Good luck,
best wishes, and
God bless!
B.

I will say that I started with a bassinette beside my bed with my first, but moved him outside my door at 3 weeks - and gradually further down the hall, a little bit further every night for a week. I couldn't sleep - I heard every little snort and snuffle. The first morning he was outside the door, my husband got ready for work, then moved him back into the room. I asked what he was doing - he said that he was leaving, the baby wouldn't bother him - I asked when HE was bothered by the baby?!? - I was the one that couldn't sleep because of all the little noises!

Again, let me say - whatever works best for your family! You guys will fall into a routine . .

I had the same problem staying awake at nighttime breastfeedings so I would keep snacks next to the bed, stuff like jelly beans or chocolate kisses, and it totally helped. Also if daddy changes the diaper while you wake up a bit its helpful. I ended up many nights with my daughter sleeping on my chest after feeding/burping with a thin blanket tucked arround her and then under my arms so she wouldn't fall off. She's 3 mos on the 20th and happy to say she sleeps 6hrs at night now , but its rough in the beginning. Try the snacks tho, it works.

Congratulations!!.I'll try n be brief the answers to your ?..I breast fed both my boys.You don't want a baby go no more then 4 hours cuz there glucos levels drop very low n thats not good. Until BF is establish make sure baby is latch on correctly you can get a consultation 1 800 baby or Le Leche check internet or your local hospital should have the #. Let your baby nurse as long as he latches on providing he's still is swallowing nsucking adverage time 10 minutes or longer try n nurse on both side at each feeding try n keep him awake burp inbetween n maybe go for a diaper change to try n wake him if its easier. Thers alot of supportn information on the internet. I could go on , on w/ this topic but my boys need me so I'll say good bye n GOODLUCK!!!!

Please look into a Postpartum Doula. You can find one and tons of info at DONA.org

first of all congratulations and second take a deep breath and every once in a while remind yourself to just breathe. I was 36 with my first and 38 with my second. It is hard when you are a little older than the average, but you can handle it. I an other Moms can and will give you great advice, but if you LOVE your pediatrician call him and her for their advice. Mine always told me never wake a sleeping baby to feed him. It takes the little ones a while to get their days and nights straight, but just stick to whatever method you are using and he will catch on. It is a little early for expectations, though. As for you, if you fall asleep during feedings, so be it. He willlet you know when he needs you to wake up. I am not a proponent baby sleeping in the bed with parents, but if that is what you need to do to get some sleep, go for it. Maternal instinct is an amazing thing, it will guide you. Good Luck!

OK, the best advise I ever got, and I have received a lot of advice... DO NOT LISTEN TO THE ADVICE YOU GET, UNLESS YOU ASK FOR IT!!
You are mom, and yes, Mom does know best. It will all come naturally! Rest, and don't worry! Your child will tell you what is needed and when. Take this time to savor everything, even the dirty diapers, sore nipples and sleepless nights.
I have heard that a bottle at night doesn't help you get sleep, it is just a cause of nipple confusion, but I have never tried it...

Andrea,

Every baby is different. Since your baby is only one week I would not supplement. I know it is super hard and tiring but have you read the ingredients on the formula can? Yiks! Ask for help Mom/friends to get some extra sleep. My newborns nursed every two hours day and night sometimes more sometimes less. Don't over think minutes or hours! Nursing on demand is exactly that....nurse when baby wants to. The two of you will get the hang of it. Relax your doing a great job! We all wish they came out with instructions printed on them! Hang in there it will get better:) Not to mention by the time you think you have a schedule it will change! All the best!