First Team Meeting Scheduled-what to Expect?

Updated on October 20, 2009
R.K. asks from Warren, MA
13 answers

Hi. My oldest is being evaluated by his elem school for ADD this was already done at the pediatrician's office but we are not medicating because it doesn't effect his test scores just his classwork performance. He has a hard time organizing himself and getting work done if he has more then one thing in front of him he just can't focus. We have our first team meeting scheduled for next month and I am just wondering what I should expect.
Thanks.

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C.T.

answers from Barnstable on

Hi Rachel,

You've gotten a lot of responses so there's not a lot I can add but I do want to mention a couple of things. Go into the meeting with knowledge. I second the recommendation of www.wrightslaw.com - this has federal laws, but you also need to learn your state laws. If you are in Mass. go to www.fcsn.org to link to the state regs. Learn them well. Go into the meeting with an open mind. Go into the meeting with the knowledge that you are not going to sign an IEP. You need to take it home and read it over carefully. Some schools might try to put one over on you, but sometimes they just might overlook something or something might not be addressed as well as you feel it should be. Good luck.

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

Has the school performed any testing on your son? You have to sign a paper allowing them to do the testing, so if you have not signed, they have not done. If they have done, you should write a letter to the spec ed department requesting that you receive a copy of the results of this testing prior to the meeting. Put it in writing and hand-deliver the letter to the sped department, ask them to date stamp it and give you a copy. You have the right to receive those reports I think it's 2 of 3 days prior to your team meeting. This will enable you to see what their results are. You won't walk into the meeting without knowing a thing.

Have they determined that your child will be placed on an IEP or 504? The first part of the IEP is the vision. Prior to an IEP meeting, you should think about what your vision is for your child in the next year.

Generally, the meeting is chaired by the team chairperson. The child's teacher is there. The school psychologist could be there. Basically, anyone who has performed testing on your child should be there. If your child requires speech therapy, the speech therapist should be there.

I will tell you that we all want to believe that the school systems know best what a child needs, and they will give that child exactly what they needs. However, budgets prevent this. If they can save, they will. You have to be your child's advocate. Every town should have a parent advisory council (PAC). I am from Peabody, and our PAC has monthly meetings with informative speakers regarding all kinds of subjects. We are required to provide a basic rights workshop yearly. You should check with your town to contact the PAC officers to find out about meetings. I have become very knowledgeable about what my child, who is 17, needs through networking with other parents, being an officer in the PAC and attending meetings.

A good source of info for you would be the Federation for Children with Special Needs. No one knows your child better than you. I have learned that parents must be advocates for their children to insure that they get the best possible.

Contact me if I can be of help.

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A.Y.

answers from Boston on

I hate to say it but expect them to try to give you as little as possible. But ask for tons!! It is so sad that we have to try so hard to get our children what they need. I have a son with ADHD, he is in 7th grade now and I am still figuring out things that will help him as expectations change. They have done all kinds of little things and it is helpful if the teacher is willing to work with him. Things to help him focus, putting another paper on top of other problems on the sheet, sticky notes to cover up things, he had a wiggle cushion at one point (round and full of air that would make his seat less rigid), something on his desk to fidget with (small squisy ball), pencil grips, and of course a class room with an assistant that could help make sure he was on task. My son does very well on his classwork but if he thinks something is going to be hard, he shuts down. He can get up and walk around or go to the bathroom to get a break. So these are all things that shouldn't be a problem to implement. Good luck, stay strong and know that you know your child best and you are the best advocate he has. I don't know if you are in NH but the parent information center (picnh.org) is a great resource if you need questions answered.

Good Luck - A.
www.southernnhfamilyfun.com
www.youniquelycreated.com

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G.D.

answers from New London on

I have to say if that's his only issues you've really made the right decision not to medicate. My son if off the wall but has ADHD not just ADD. I tried for so long not to medicate and without saying the actual words the school really pressured me to medicate. If yours does, stick to your guns!
At the team meeting, I do suggest not going alone. If your husband can't attend, bring someone who will help support you. They will discuss problems he's having in class. Things you didn't know ussually come out here. The thing that drives me crazy is that I start the year telling them emails are the best and only garaunteed way of communication with me. I ask for everything to be emailed to me so I am completely upset when I go to this meeting with huge surprises. So just beware, there's ussually surprises.
Then there will be a time for you to discuss ways of helping him get through the year. You are allowed to call these meetings as often or as little as you like. Schools really appreciate parents who are in the loop and want to keep on top of things. I suggest having a meeting a month or so after the first to go over whats working and whats not. Feel free to PM me any questions or concerns or for suggestions. I've had 2 schools willing to keep me in the loop and deal with no meds. When we bought a house and moved to a new school system, I hit a block. I'm hoping your school has more programs to help your son. One of the best ways to help them along is non-verbal communication. When the teacher sees him having a hard time or starting to go off into space, they tap him on the shoulder. This helps for many reasons, it ofcourse reminds them that they are getting attention because the teacher is seeing what they are doing. Next it isn't embarrassing him by being spoken to and the entire class knowing he's not doing what he's suppose to. It also helps your son form a respect per say with the teacher. It's been in my sons work ups and not 1 teacher has done it sense the first discovered it,and she even sent a note along to the middle school talking about how it worked.
Keep on top of it. Not that the teachers need to be perfect but they do have about 30 kids to a class and its easy to forget what they are suppose to be specificly doing for the one student who needs them.
I hope the best for you. Ours is coming up in a few days and I have his grandmother to support me. We had to threaten the system before we found our 1 advocate for my son...the principal. The schools are required to do what it takes to teach your son or find him a school (at their expense) that will help him as he needs it.
I hope I've helped. Best of luck and stick to your guns. School have 99% of ADD or ADHD labelled kids these days which tells us something.

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

Rachel
Each person in the team makes their report. I found this a little hard because they each point out strong areas and areas of concern.
Then they make their suggestions of IEP (Individual Education Program)or not.
They ask you for your questions.
It is a lot of listening......take notes
Good Luck
C.

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

I am curious what kind of answers you'll get to this :). We are going through a similar thing with my daughter (she's 7). The doctor and I both feel she has it, the school is dragging their feet on it. Her teacher does not see the things I see. I'm meeting with the school psychologist today actually about her. He's danced around her attention issues, but won't come out and say ADD. So I'm still working on the diagnosis here. I'll be calling my daughter's doctor this week though to see where we go from here. I haven't decided on meds or not yet. Not sure if my daughter will be able to take them or not because of a family history of stroke. I've heard a diet of no processed foods helps, but I think that's next to impossible to do especially since often times my daughter eats lunch at school which is often processed foods. So I'd have a fight on my hands to get that to change. So right now I'm in limbo. Good luck with everything. I hope the school cooperates with you.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

Expect to be a little/a lot overwhelmed. Usually each person who has evaluated him ( speech, spec Ed, psychologist, ect) plus classroom teacher, principal and others. They'll tell you what they've found, what the plan is if one, and where to go from there. Don't be afraid to ask questions, take plenty of notes and sleep on things if needed. A lot of info will come your way and it'll take time to sort through it. Get copies of everything for your files and if no sped pick up is happening talk about what is going to be done in his class to help him succeed! Don't worry and ask for follow up mtgs if necessary!

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L.P.

answers from Lewiston on

2 years ago we were at the point you are now - worrying about what was going to happen at this meeting. Our youngest has ADHD, but we do not medicate. When he was going from K to 1st grade, we had one of these IEP (individualized education program) meetings. My husband and I went, his regular teacher went, the principal went, and the special ed director went. It was a little intimidating, not knowing what to expect. I unfortunately allowed myself to become upset, tearful. Embarrassing. But they were all very supportive, as was my husband. The thing to keep in mind is that you and your husband, along with the teachers and others at school, are going to be going through this as a team. It's not you vs. them. Think of them as part of your team, with your son's best interests in mind. I'm sure they want him to succeed, and you do too. At the meeting, it was decided, in our case, that our son would be under the special ed "umbrella". I hated the thought, and I'm sure you do too. But with this comes the availability to access the wonderful support systems our school has.

Our school has a wonderful program, under the Special Ed umbrella, that provides a safety net for our son. When he is being disruptive in the class, he gets 3 warnings, after which he has to go to a separate classroom where he gets extra support. He has to take his work with him, and the teacher holds him accountable. He has to work through whatever incorrect/inappropriate behavior or action he took. But it is done in a very supportive way, and not like punishing. As soon as he's able to, he goes back to his regular classroom. He is able to earn rewards in this special classroom and he really tries hard to get back to his regular class. Without this safety net program in place, he would have to go to the principal's office. Not productive for anyone.
Good luck, and try to have an open mind and be receptive. Teachers work SO HARD! I think they are awesome. This program has been very good for our son. He is now in 2nd grade and doing very well academically, with MUCH improved social behaviors.

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R.T.

answers from Boston on

Expect them to speak over your head.
They are going to want their own testing which takes months & is a stalling tactic.
I do not have much good to say about the scools willingness to accomidate the children with problems,you will have to fight every step of the way.
Get an Advocate ! This is costly but they have the experience to help.

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi Rachel,
It sounds like there have been many responses to keep you on defense. I am an occupational therapist working in schools and sit on TEAM meetings when I am requested to do so. Remember that the school wants your child to succeed.
If your son has been evaluated at school, you will review those reports from each person at the meeting. There could be as many as 7 or so people at the meeting. There are standards that determine if services are appropriate or not. If your child would benefit from services, an IEP will be developed. This will have your child's strengths, areas of concern and goals that will be developed and worked on for the upcoming year. Your input to the plan will be very important. If you are unsure of the plan or need time to review it, you have some time to sign it. You can always request the testing results two days before the meeting.
With a medical diagnosis, a 504 plan can be developed which will provide accomodations for your son, such as preferential seating, shortened assignments, etc. That is up to you and the school. A 504 plan can be developed if he does not qualify for educational services.
The information can be overwhelming, but this is the best time to ask questions. You have everyone together in one place to talk about your child and only your child! Take advantage of it!

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M.C.

answers from Hartford on

Hi Rachel,

I think I might be able to help with the asthma/allergy situation for the boys. I have had asthma and made some very effective changes and I no longer am affected with asthma.
If you would like more info, please contact me @ ____@____.com..

Glad to help.

M. C.

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

I did not medicate my children with ADD and ADHD. Tried it once and was not pleased with results.
Besides, I grew up with ADHD before they had ADHD and turned out pretty good.
Thing is, when a child has a condition they still need to learn to live in this world the way things are. They need to adjust, learn to live in harmony with other people, yes?
The world doesnt care if someone has ADHD or ADD>
I did not treat my children any differently than child without ADD, I did not treat them special, or with any pity. This applies to children with any sort of disability. Autism, something physical, any hinddrance.
It simply was how things were with me and with them. They all graduated from school, are gainfully employed, can interact and socialize in appropriate way.
Depends on how you raise them hon..NOT saying it is easy. What was really a challenge was being ADHD myself but then, that made it easier in many ways to deal with myself and them.
Worst thing you can do is baby them. I had one who had to have an advocate attend eighth grade and highschool with him...that was great. The advocate did same thing I tried to at home, have him function appropriately in a normal setting.
His last year of high school ( he graduated in three years..nothing wrong with his smarts..he just had trouble accessing them) we developed a prototype program for him. Sent him to an adult apprentiship school and had a tutor for his academics. It was awesome and he excelled. Now his school will place kids like him when it is a solution for a particular child and the school ( and tutor teacher ) received special awards and accredidation for this program.
Its a big job but sounds like you have support.
At the team meeting you could ask to know ways to help him focus and accomplish tasks. If they cannot help, find someone who can and who can answer your questions in a doable satisfying way. I found, over the years, these people often do not know what they are trying to talk about and talk over you with empty words. Go there with information print outs in hand. Have a list of questions...and have t he answers in hand if you can. Take someone with you.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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M.B.

answers from Lewiston on

Rachel - I am the mom of a 7 yr old with pretty severe ADHD. I avoided meds for a long time but finally caved and couldn't be happier. He is unable to function w/o the meds. But that's completely up to you and your family to make that decision. Keep in mind that it is not legal for the school system to suggest (or even bring up) medicating at all. First you should really think about what you want for your child. What is it that you think he needs to be successful in the classroom? If you don't want to medicate he will most likely need some other supports in the classroom. What types of things is he having difficulty with? Does he need sensory breaks? Does he need figits? Is he having other problems like fine motor skills, sensory difficulties,etc which may warrant an OT eval? If you can, bring a digital tape recorder and record the session. Then you can go back and take even more thorough notes. Make sure that everything that is discussed gets in the minutes from the meeting. Don't sign anything unless you understand it and agree with it. A great website to look at is www.wrightslaw.com - I specifically liked this article but not sure if it relates to your son (it did for mine). http://www.wrightslaw.com/nltr/07/nl.1010.htm
Also try getting a copy of the IDEA regs and whatever your state regs are concerning special ed laws. Look to see if your state has an agency that can help you. I live in Maine and we have Maine Parent Federation (www.mpf.org) If you can't find somthing similar in Mass you might try calling Maine's organization and asking if they know of what organization in Mass is equivalent or if they know of a website that will help with it. Right now though their website doesn't appear to be working. Maybe when you read this it will be. There are also some good links on that page for resources. Good luck and feel free to email me if you have any other questions - I have been through several IEP meetings.

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