First Talk About Becoming a Woman.

When my daughter was 9 I bought her this book The care & keeping of you by American girl. I bought it from Bath & body works. I believe hair comes first, my daughter just got her period (she's 11) & she started developing hair down there about a year ago. I read the book with her & discussed the topics she brought up. I didn't push any subject I did it at her pace. It was such a wonderful book I ended up buying it for 3 of my friends' daughters.

How open is your relationship with your daughter? My mom and I were very open so the conversation came about pretty naturally. If you cannot find a way to approach it naturally, like as an add-on to something that happened, then I'd just open up the talk with her. I'm not sure if it is a corny book now, but when I was her age me and ALL my friends were reading "Are you there God, it's me Margaret." It was all about a girl writing in her diary about getting her period. If it were me, and it will one day be me :), I'd just lay it all out there. Show here where everything is, how it works, different products, how you feel, etc. Let her know NO question if off limits. Good luck!!

I don't know where you live, but I just found out that my pediatric group is giving a talk at Norwalk Hospital in Connecticut on June 4th aimed at 9, 10 and 11 year old girls and their moms. I plan to attend with my almost 10 year old. I think it will encourage her to ask questions that I can answer for her over time as she sees the changes take place. Let me know if you want more info. My email is ____@____.com

I have 2 girls - one who is 10 & the other is 4. My daughter's school is showing the 4th graders a video on things which is fine by me. I didn't begin my cycle until I was about 14, but I do know that they say with all of the hormones and preservatives in the foods we eat today, that is partly to blame for the early maturing of these little bodies. My husband is thankful that we had girls, because he thinks he's off the hook and all his side of the family talks about is how young they were when the got their's and stuff. I think the most important thing I've been trying to teach my daughter is that this is a part of life and that it is something that happens all around the world 24/7! My 15 year old niece was up last weekend & got really snippy with all of us. When I asked her what was wrong my 12 yo nephew told me she was PMS'ing - that blew me away! I had a father & 2 brothers living in my house growing up - none of them ever knew when I had my period. I told my niece that I've pms'd for over 24 weeks of my life but it's never been noticable to her! Anyways, maybe see if your pediatrician can recommend a good book or something. I know the libraries carry a number of books about this & sometimes it's not so embarassing for my daughter to read something vs me talking to her about it. Good luck!

I am the parent of a 13 year old daughter. When we were approaching the time I thought she would began menstrating I began to prepare her for what to expect when it happen, as well as good hygiene pracitice. So she wouldn't be frightened or embarrassed when it happened. I found that asking her questions regarding the matter was the easiest approach (you may be surprised what she already know or don't know) and this will engage her in the conversation. And the day she finally started we had WOMEN'S day which consisted of just the two of us spending the entire day together. We both played hooky that day from work and school. We had lunch and went to have manicures and pedicures and went shopping for new underwear and spent the entire day talking and celebrating her transition to woman hood. I was sure to explain to her what was happening to her body and what those changes meant. And surprisingly that day was a turning point in out relationship, because my daugther now feels comfortable talking to me about anything. Just be honest with her and listen to her. And remember this is a sensitive matter that daddy don't quite understand.

Hi S.,

I also recommend the book The Care and Keeping of You, but that doesn't take the place of conversations. For my daughter and me, it was an ongoing dialogue starting at about age 8. Typically the period is the last thing to happen - underarm hair, pubic hair, breast buds (sometimes things like body odor or pimples) will come first - the period typically comes about 2 years after the onset of the first signs of puberty. Your daughter's doctor can also assess her at her next checkup, I forget the name of the assessment but it tells you on a scale of 1 to 4 where they are in the puberty process. My daughter was showing the first signs by the time she turned 9, and got her first period at 11 yrs 8 months.

Good luck to you and your daughter!

When I was a young girl, I was in the girl scouts. They presented a film that presented a young girl starting her period and what was going on. The film was informative and gave nothing as graphic as some of the films that are shown in the theaters today.

Looking back I think having my mother there watching the film would have been a plus. My mother didn't know how to approach me, I was shy and didn't express myself well, if at all.

My mom put a clean pad in my drawer, I guess she hoped I would ask her about what it was for, etc. I was angry about this because I felt I was being invaded.

My mother bought me a stretch as you grow bra which I hated. I was angry about the bra because my friends had bras that were cotton and had a circle stitch in the cup. Did I tell her, no I didn't.

I know there are books out today that also talk about the cycles and stresses a special "love" relationship between a man and a woman. Respecting your own body and being told that this type of relationship is something to wait for and should not be taken as casual would be important also.

About Me:
I'll be 60 this year am married for 38 years and have two sons that are 34 and 31.

You can go to the library and take out age appropriate books. I would recommend sitting and reading the books with you daughter and then have a discussion after. My girlfriend got books from the library and rented a motel room for the night and had a girls only night. It was something that her daughter still remembers to this day(she's 16) and thanks her mom for. Even though it is a serious topic try and make it fun and enjoyable for the both of you. I'll be doing the same with my daughter soon! Good luck!

i can say that one of the only things my mother did right was that talk. she started very young for me. whenever she would get her period she would explain to me what was going on with her, and try to not completely gross me out. if i had any questions she would answer best she could (tried the medical answers, but usually used her versions, more bluntly which were more easy to understand). i myself started my 1st period when i was about 9 (it was the 1st week in my new school in 4th grade, which was about 3-4 weeks into the school year in pa...if that helps any on the age range) i actually got it IN school...so it was good that my mother had those talks with me. for me, i didn't start getting any hair (other then really hairy legs and arms) until i was about 11/12, but at 8/9 i started to develop my breasts (being how it went with me, i think getting the hair before the breasts is much better being that i'm at a 42 J and seem to keep getting bigger and bigger! :o((( my mother pretty much was very open and honest with me about that stuff, and blunt. if i tried to run from the conversations she would pop in a movie about it so i could understand it better. i know that my girl has the discussion on it, unfortunately there's the loss of her best friend tragically, but it DOES explain. there are plenty of movies, just check them out, do some research, just remember the BEST advice comes from the mother herself!!! best of luck.

Get the book "The Care and Keeping of Me". it's published by American Girl books and it is one of the best I've ever seen. My daughter will be 10 in July and I bought her that last year when she turned 9.

I recommend THE PERIOD BOOK by Karen Gravelle and Jennifer Gravelle HIGHLY!! I have given this book as a gift to my nieces, my best friends' daughters and I have read it to both of my daughters. It is graphic yet it is a gentle introduction to woman hood and all its questions. Answers EVERYTHING the girls are dying to ask but don't know how or don't have the courage to ask. It is a fabulous book and I recommend it to mother's everywhere. You can get it at Barnes and Noble or their online store. The book is so clear on all topics, it allows for a special trust to develop between mother and daughter. View it yourself first and see if you think it is appropriate for you and your daughter. My daughters loved it and it opened up the channels of communication and trust between us women. Good Luck.

I had a similar issue last year when my daughter was nine. I purchased a book by American Girl (doll) called The Care and Keeping of You, EXCELLENT book. I gave the book to my daughter and told her to read it and come to me with any questions. Well, it worked bautifully!! She had tons of questions for about two weeks and the book really helped to answer them all.It wasn't awkward or scary for her and it now sets me up to find a new book about sex...any advice as to when I need to discuss that one???

I have 2 daughters ages 11 & 13. They were both different in the ways puberty (body changes) began to show signs. For example, my youngest had to shave her legs at age 8 (yes, they were that bad) and also needed deorderant at age 8, and started her period at 10. My oldest has large breast, C cups, and pubic hair, but hasn't started her period yet.

When I spoke with them (each individually), I tried to keep it as casual as possible. If I remember correctly, I started the conversation with "I've noticed some changes in your body, my little girl is growing up. Do you have any questions?' They both already knew alot from school.
Also, if she doesn't want to talk, change the subject and bring it up again at another time.

There's a post on 5/21 'daughters first period'. You may also want to check out www.kotex.com.

Good luck.