First Play Date with Friend from School

The same thing happened to me a few months ago. My son's best friend from preschool - he's 4 - wanted him to come over to his house for a playdate. I'd been talking with the mom regularly when we drop off and pick up, but we don't socialize together... she said I could have a few hours off and she'd bring them both to school after the morning playdate. I wasn't sure what to think at first, but I'm confident she's a good person and was just being nice. I stayed for a little while and we chatted, then I left with my younger son and got a few things done. I'm returning the favor now, incidentally at a time when she could really use a break to get some volunteer work finished up for a big school fundraiser. It's all good.

Do what you feel comfortable with.
~J.

I would take it as she's telling you your not trapped at her house she's ok with you staying or going. She seems to be trying to plan it on a time you would most benefit from her having your son. Thats a good thing. I would tell her what time you will drop him off, ask who is going to be there while your gone but i personally wouldn't give an exact time you will be back or give an estimate but be back earlier. That way if she has something to hide you will see it.

K. - I would guess that the mother of your child's friend is trying to be helpful and give you some free time. I would go with what makes you feel comfortable, if that means hanging around for the first play date, or the first half hour or hour, that is what I would suggest you do.

M.

Hi, K. - It sounds like she is being nice and giving you some time to get things done. She probably loves it when her daughter is invited and she can have some free time! Unless your intuition is giving you bads vibes about something in particular, i.e. appearance, things she's said, where or how they live, let your daughter go, enjoy your time, but maybe keep the play date to 2 hours, so you don't have to worry too long. Your daughter is old enough to report back how things went. Good luck!

I, personally would take advantage of the time offered. But if you are not comfortable, I would tell her that you would love to stay since this is the first play date. I think any mom would understand that. Then, maybe after spending some time with this other mom and in their home, you will feel comfortable in the future letting your child go alone. Go with what feels right to you.

Sounds like she is trying to help you and give you a bit of time to yourself. I don't think she doesn't want you over. I am sure she would love your company but she knows how it is being pregnant and not having any me time. You know what I mean. Take her up on it. It will give the boys some play time together and you some alone time. Don't let those pregnancy hormones cause you to think negitive. They can do that at times.
Don't stress it. It's not what you are thinking. Relax and take a load off. :)
Take Care and good Luck
S.

She is probably just offering you a break. If you want to be there, just mention politely that it is your daughter's first play date and SHE would feel more comfortable with you there...at least for the first 30 minutes or so. Just make sure you don't bring any other siblings. That way you can get a feel for the mom and their home, then if you are comfortable and your daughter is then you can leave for a few.Good luck.

You know yourself and your daughter best, if you are comfy leaving her go ahead and run your errands. If, however, you want to stay then politely let this mom know you'd like to stay and have fun too! You might only arrange to stay for a short amount of time since this is a first for you/your daughter. Then, if everything goes well, you'll be much happier the next time to let her go alone. =) I hope you all have a great time.

my guess would be that she wants a playdate for her daughter so she can have some time for herself. I personnally feel four is too young for a solo playdate at a stranger's house. My daughter is five, and I have only left her for a ocuple of hours with a trusted friend that we were in a playgroup with for 3 years.

If you want to leave her for the playdate, make sure you don't go far, have your cell phone on, and give your daughter lots of prep time - ask her what she wants to do. Make it a short date 2 hours or less.

If you aren't comfortable with this, tell the mom that you aren't and switch the playdate to your house. She will either make the switch or she will invite you to stay (which may be just fine with her too).

I think she was probably just trying to be nice, but I agree with you about getting to know the parents of any child my daughter plays with. My daughter is 6 years old and typically only plays with children after I get to know their parents. I agree with the person who suggested saying that you had no where else to go that day and seeing what the outcome would be. As an alternative, you could explain that you are a more protective mother and prefer to be present when your children have play dates. I have never had any parent disagree with me or say anything I did not want to hear when I say that I am more protective myself.

when asked i'd just say, oh no i dont have anywhere else to go today (that day) so we can just hang out while they play! see what she says. if she says thatd be great or that she was hoping to help lessen your burden while you got things done then she sounds good. but if she stumbles by saying something like oh ok well...i guess we can hang out r maybe another day instead when you are busy i'd run.

I would take it as it is. She is a mother to. She thinks you have a few hours of alone time so if you had anything to get done, now would be a good time to catch a breather. Simple arrand without children are little gifts in a busy mother's day. I am the same overprotective mother you are. My son was 5 before he was over a house without me for more than an hour, I know it's crazy. Either way, I made a true effort tp get to know the mom of my kids friends fo we can both feel better when our children are ar one anothers house. I like this because I feel better knowing that if I need a day or a sitter for a sudden appointment, I can call a mom and the kids are having fun.
T.

I would say hang out as long as you feel comfortable. The other mom is probably just trying to give you a break. However, listen to your instincts when you arrive. Take your cell and be sure to leave all the info you would as with a babysitter if you do decide to run your errands while the kids play. And who knows, you and the other mom might hit it off?

I don't think it would be imposing to let her know you'd prefer to stay. You could simply explain that you would rather give your child a chance to get to know the new friend and friend's mom with you there. Then, if all works out, in the future you could plan to leave for an hour or so, if you are comfortable doing so.

I am guessing the mom was probably just being polite and offering you a break and didn't mean any harm by the suggestion.