A.B. asks from Rock Springs, WY on January 07, 2010
First Mommy Daddy Vacation!
My husband and I have the chance to go to Vegas at very little cost thanks to my mothers career as a travel agent. Our airfare and hotel are free! So we want to use this opportunity as a kind of getaway for just the 2 of us. My daughter is almost 2 and has never been away from BOTH of us overnight. I would rather she stayed at home in her own environment/bed/toys etc. in hopes that she would be most comfortable. We think she wouldbe happy with family too, but don't want to burden them with feeling *obligated*(a whole different post in itself)I have chatted with a friend of mine who has babysat in the past and she is very happy to watch her for 2 nights/3days. I plan to pay her of course and we have family near by who could help in any type of emergency. I'm feeling VERY nervous and apprehensive wondering how she will do for such an extended period of time. I am a stay at home mom during the day and work at night on my husbands days off so we're always with her. I've started taking her to the child care facility at the gym and she seems to really enjoy that with no problems. My questions are how do I make this an easy thing for all of us? I'm terrified that my daughter will have serious separation anxiety and be a handful for the babysitter. Is it wrong for us to go on vacation without our daughter? I know a lot of people do it, but we have family who are STRICTLY against vacation without the kids. I guess if anyone has any advice to help ease my anxiety I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you so much in advance!
T.W. answers from Denver on January 08, 2010
Do you have time before your trip to have your babysitter/friend come and stay the night with her to see how it goes? Maybe you stay at her house and she stays at yours?
You are having totally natural feelings and I would feel nervous too, that is a long time to be away for both of you.
Another thought is to see if the hotel you are staying at has babysitting accommodations. In Vegas I have found a lot of them do. You could just bring her and still have your alone time.
Regardless, the worse case scenario, she has a problem and your daughter is a nightmare, at least you know she is safe. She is not even 2 yet, she will have no memory of you being gone after you get home. So go and enjoy.
A.C. answers from Colorado Springs on January 08, 2010
Sounds like a great time! If you've got somebody who will watch her that you trust leaving her with for an extended period of time, I'd say go for it! Have the sitter come over & hang out with you there, progress to you running errands & start stocking up now on fun stuff for the two of them to do while you're gone (things you don't have at home-Play Doh would be fun!). If you don't stress, she won't stress as much (can't guarantee she won't stress at all). Have her call when she wakes up while you're gone & call her before she goes to bed. The week before you go, buy her a new lovey to sleep with & put it in your bed-it'll smell like Mommy & Daddy & keep the smell while you're gone.
Have a great trip & remember it's your decision, not your family's what you do.
J.N. answers from Salt Lake City on January 08, 2010
She will probably have some separation anxiety. That's normal at her age. But as she knows your friend and has spent time with her it will be a bit easier. Bedtime is often the hardest (on our first no-kids vacation, our daughter watched at the window for a long time before falling asleep, waiting for us to come. But she was staying at grandmas, not her own house).
I agree to call her near bedtime. Also, if you have a cell phone she can call (with help) a couple of times, she might feel a bit more secure.
When you get home, expect her to be clingy for a while, especially at night. Look at where she was as far as bedtime routine 6 months ago, and be ready her to revert to that for a short time, at least. Same with potty training (if you've even done that yet).
As far as your family's opinion - ignore it. There is nothing wrong with a weekend getaway without the kids, and as they get older, an occaisional longer trip as a couple (think anniversary!). Of course, plan vacations with the kids too. But having time to reconnect with your spouse makes you a better parent too!
M.N. answers from Pocatello on January 08, 2010
It is PERFECTLY Fine for you to go on vacation with just your hubby. In fact, you deserve it!
Just ignore the family who don't agree and if they say anything simply tell them it is your decision and you are ok with it. You can even thank them for their opinion. Don't let them ruin this time for you with negativeness.
Your daughter will be fine, as long as she knows the person. Tell her you are going and she will get to have sleepovers with the babysitter. Perhaps you can tell her you will bring her a surprise when you come back. Something to look forward too. I have never been to Vegas, but I am sure you can find a cheap souvenir for a little girl!
Go, have a great time. I will be done nursing my son in a few days (yeah) and so look forward to being able to go out at bedtime!
K.M. answers from Denver on January 08, 2010
I would suggest having your friend come over and babysit a couple of times before you leave.. . . once during the day for a few hours then once at night, so that she can do the whole bedtime ritual with your daughter. You will get a pretty good idea how your daughter will react by doing this. Your daughter will be just fine. We have an almost 3 year old and a 17 month old and have not been able to take a vacation by ourselves. We have no family to help us and our friends all have their own kids to take care of . I know it will be hard to leave our kiddos when the time comes but I certainly hope that we are able to take a trip by ourselves sometime soon!
C.Y. answers from Grand Junction on January 08, 2010
going on vacation without kids is a MUST! I hate leaving my kids (2,3,5,8,10) but I know how important it is for my husband and I to have time with each other. One day our house will be empty and we need to know who we are besides mom and dad! Your daughter will probably have fun! Leave her some pictures of you and your husband and call her to say goodnight every night! We even did this when we were in Nicaragua! Have fun and enjoy yourselves!
K.H. answers from Salt Lake City on January 12, 2010
Everyone needs time to be with there spouse. This is your time to go and have fun. Your little might have the separation anxiety but nothing that a babysitter or family member which ever you choose couldn't handle. You could always call home a couple times during the day to put your mind at ease. Good luck, you really need to start the transition now so it doesn't get harder in the years to come. Have fun on your vacation.
C.A. answers from Provo on January 08, 2010
We went on our first vacation, just the two of us, last August when our son was about 20 months old. We were gone for 3.5 days, and my mom stayed with him at our house while we were gone. And he was fine! We were super worried about it too, but it all worked out great. So just breathe, and know that while it may be hard, you can do this. =)
I think what helped is my mom came and stayed with us for a few days before we left (she lives 9 hours away, so it's not like he sees her very often), so she got used to his routines and whatnot. Then we put him to bed Wednesday night and left right after that, so it wasn't like he saw us leaving (not sure if you can do that), and when he woke up the next morning, my mom was there. We did take a laptop and webcam with us and tried to use Skype--we couldn't get him to show up on our screen, but he could see us so I think that helped him as well.
As for the family who is against it, I'm sorry to hear that. If they give you grief, let them know you are doing what you feel will help your marriage--which, and I may get in trouble for saying this, sometimes needs to come first anyway. Your daughter will be fine, and she'll be so happy to see you when you get back. Enjoy the kid-free time--it's so rare that you get it, and you deserve it! =)