First Grade with 5 Years Old

Please let him repeat first grade. At this age social readiness for school is absolutely vital. If he continues on from this point in school and isn't mature enough he will always be in and out of trouble, unhappy, and always behind on his assignments. It is better to be the oldest child in a class than the youngest. Give him another year to mature. Don't worry that he will be bored -- you say that he is already not doing homework, not paying attention, etc., so he can't be absorbing much of what they're teaching.

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He needs to be where he fits socially and developmentally. It has nothing to do with his intellect. I understand your concern about his size, but eventually the other kids will catch up. He doesn't sound ready for first grade - he's too young. I held my son back and it was the best decision I ever made. He was the oldest and it was fine - your son will be the first to get his driver's license! No one should question his age - if you feel you have to, you can just say it was a different schooling system in Brazil. It's easier to hold them back or have them repeat at an earlier age. My friend had to do it in 7th grade for her daughter, and it was so much harder.

I am not a strong believer in repeating a grade. Later on, it only hurts their self-steem, since they are a full year older. Your son will be 2 years older than some. I understand that the teachers want him to mature. But holding him back will not do that - he will mature on his own time. If he does not pay attention now in first, will he pay attention next year in first? What if not? Will they request that he stay in first grade until he can pay attention? It is only my opinion, but I would send him along and work on the attention and fighting things at home.

Good luck with that decision!

Hi D.,

Please let him repeat the year, he will struggle to adjust thru the year otherwise. He needs time to learn at his pace rather than being pushed, to be more mature than he is. His attension span will improve, give him time. Size is NOT important, his social emotional development is, please keep that to be your main focus.

Arrange/ schedule weekly playdates with other children, 1:1 or small groups so he make new friends with students from his class, get to know the families and become part of the community. Please make time to volunteer in his class on a regular basis to start building a relationship with his teacher. Try Floor puzzles, legos , board games to help him develop his attension span. Make learning and homework time FUN for him, or find someone to help him.

Hope this helps.

NP

Listen to the teachers. It's their job to make recc on what's best for the child.

They see him everyday and know what he's capable of. Trust their judgement.

Not in your situation but if the teacher who works with him daily is suggesting he be held back for reasons then I would hold him back.Size doesn't matter it is the education he is getting,going into the second it will be a faster pace the teachers give direction once there is no time to handle a non listner a child who wants to play or fight with other students.We are in May school is ending soon for my kids,you just began in February you still have a while to go till December you have time to work with him on his social skill,mature level,his attention keep in contact with his teachers know what is going on & work at home with him.Is he casuing such a disruption that he may get susprnded from school?Does he have behavior/emotional/learning issues that have been diagnosed by his doctor?He could still be adjusting to the first grade talk to him daily about his school days.How is he when he brings worksheets home to return to school is he disruptive or does he sit down & cooperate?If you think he needs to be evaluated contact his doctor.You have time to work with him.

Keep him back. If he is not mature, it will work against him his whole
school career.

I started Kindergarten at 4. My birthday was 3 days before the cut off date. After K and first grade I moved and the new school put me in first grade again. It is so much easier to be the oldest rather then the youngest. After repeating first grade I always did well in school. My mom also repeated the first grade and went on to be the valedictorian in her high school class. Social maturity is not the same as intelligence but a certain amount of both is needed to be a successful student.

I also have a 5 year old son. He's 5 and 3 months now and is in pre-K this year (the school year here is ending next month). He is almost the tallest in his class but far from the most mature. No way he would be ready for first grade next year but he should be fine in Kindergarten.

Based on my experience I would let him repeat and see if he does better. First grade is so important for getting the basic reading skills down. Also, if he by chance has a learning issue then you have another year to deal with it and get him on track with reading.

Holding him back in the lower grades for development reasons is easier in the long run. My daughter misses the mark also, and intellect wise should start school the next year, but has to skip all next year. She will be almost 6 before she goes to school for the first time. It will be easier if she is one of the older ones than one of the younger because she'll have 'been there done that'.

As for size, we have a kid that in Kindergarten was the size of a second/third grader. He was only 5 1/2!

M.

Please do not hold him back. 1 year will not make that much of a difference in maturity. They are discriminating against your son, because he's the youngest and a boy. Would they hold back an older child with the same problems? Probably not. Not when they are doing well grade wise. The problem might be that he needs to skip a grade. Yes, you heard me correctly. You mentioned he doesn't have any problems learning and doesn't want to do homework...Guess why? He's bored. The work might be too easy for him. Children, who are bored can get disruptive. Request that he see the school psychologist or be tested for giftedness.

We went through similar stuff with our child. The difference is that when he is bored, he draws just like I didn't when I was young. There are drawings all over our notebooks. We drew to keep our minds occupied, while we waited for the class to catch up. The teacher wanted to hold me back in kindergarten too for "social skills." (I was also the youngest in my class.) The school psychologist wanted me to be put into 3rd grade instead of 1st, but my mom told them to just put me in 1st grade with the rest of the class. Mistake, I never got along with them. I vowed that I would not do the same thing to my son, and I'm glad I didn't. The public school wouldn't let him start kindergarden, because he missed the cut off. Took him to Catholic school and had him tested. They started him in kindergarten right away, because he aced the test. He did have some problems with some of his classmates, but we just thought they were bullies that didn't like to have their picking bounce back at them. 5th grade came and more problems with the other kids....My son had to go to school with a lock on his notebook, because someone was stealing his notes! Hubby didn't feel the school was meeting his needs and had our son tested again. This time he was tested for the gifted program. Guess what? The middle school principal wanted our son to skip 2 grades, because of the test...The high school principal said to skip in 1 grade, because he wasn't sure how the other high school students would act. A compromise was reached...Our son was skipped over 6th grade, but put into the 8th grade math class. From that point on, no more problems. He now has lots of friends and no more bullying. Now he's 12 and will be going into high school next year. He's currently in 8th grade for all his subject, except 1...He goes over to the high school for 10th grade math. The math teacher wanted to put him into calculus instead this year, since he already took pre-calc. in college, but the principal said, "No." (He needs a certain amount of math courses to graduate, so calc in the fall.)