First Communion Dress Question

Updated on January 29, 2009
M.L. asks from Delano, MN
18 answers

I've been to several first communion masses and the boys all seem to wear a variety of colored suit and ties. but The girls all are dressed in all white gowns. Is it unusual for a girls dress to have color to it? My daughter has a beautiful white flower girls dress with a simple red sash around the waist. Would that be tacky to reuse? I have thought about having the sash removed but it just kinda makes it her own. Have you seen girls in colored dresses or would I be making a mistake in reusing the dress? Thanks.

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S.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter's dress will be similar to the dress you've described. It is mostly white, but will have a colorful sash around her waist. Since my mother is sewing her dress, Madilyn will be able to choose the color of her sash. We would like to have matching flowers for her hair.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have only seen girls in all white dresses.

I don't think it's tacky to reuse the dress--in fact, it's downright smart and practical--but I would remove the red sash.

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K.V.

answers from Madison on

My daughter just celebrated her first communion yesterday and on the way to mass we were talking about all of the different colors of dresses we had seen over the years. I think that the dress is up to you to choose unless your faith formation supervisor or parish priest has said that there is a dress code. If you are still unsure, take the dress to church (or the parish center) and ask if it is appropriate. You may even just make a phone call and describe it. If you can talk to the person in charge of arranging the events, you will have one less thing to worry about on that wonderful day!

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M.C.

answers from Des Moines on

I also agree that you should use the dress, but replace the sash. It sounds beautiful. Also, by replacing the sash, your daughter will have her own "new" dress to wear for her first communion.

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M.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I've seen it before. It's just the sash, I don't think it's a big deal.

R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I worked at Penney's for a few years and Penney's gets beautiful First Communion dresses in and they are always all white. I have seen little girls in colored dresses for First Communion but usually only one in a class. I would follow tradition and have her in white so she fits in with the class. You should be able to online to various stores web sites and look at the dresses. In this economy we need to be really careful of where we spend; I would say that you can re-use the dress but get a white sash and a veil for her. You can take it into a fabric store and get some good advice from the employees there on the sash.
Check out freecycle.com, it is a yahoo groups site and has groups for different areas. Members can post wants and offers, then you make arrangements to pick up what you need. So you could post 'want and first communion veil' and the city you live in and another member can go through her closets and contact you to come and get it.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have only seen girls in all white dresses.

I don't think it's tacky to reuse the dress--in fact, it's downright smart and practical--but I would remove the red sash.

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T.D.

answers from Bismarck on

I haven't read all of the posts - but am experiencing a similar situation. Our son is preparing for his first communion in February. We'd (fortunately) been gifted with two black suits last year from a friend's son. We then received a ton of paperwork, with everything pointing to 'just plain white' - so I phoned the folks directing the instruction. They said that (in our church's case) that is no longer the norm. Rather that the outfit should be special and better dress than they'd wear to school. Sunday best, etc. So he'll wear the black with a tie, and he's very excited about dressing up for his big day.

Phone the church ~ particularly those putting the day together :) - pastor or instructors. They'll guide you :) - Personally, sounds great, to me!

T.

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M.M.

answers from Green Bay on

my 2 cents--use the dress but change the color of the sash to a pretty pink or light blue

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

I don't have an answer for you, but since you probably don't want to use this day to make a personal statement (if you do, wear the red!), I would just as the minister/priest/pastor of your church what is normal--and then chat with other parents to see whether their children are wearing all white or not. I guess I feel like there's a time to not worry about what others think, but sometimes worrying about what others think is a way of respecting tradition and other people's sensibilities, and this would be one of those times.

I'm assuming you're Catholic...I'm Lutheran and have never seen Lutheran children wearing white dresses (I didn't, 20 years ago, even) for First Communion. When you say you've seen them wearing white, I assume you mean in your particular church? If you're just referring to seeing it ingeneral, though, I'd definitely ask your church, since some churches do not do white for girls at First Communion--it's more casual than that.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

Use it! Just replace the red sash with a white one.

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A.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I don't think there's any real rule about the dress for first communions. I think you can use the dress and it wouldn't be tacky. My mom made my dress for my first communion - it was white with pink flowers on it and I had to wear brown suede shoes - and it was fine. HOWEVER, I felt like I stood out like sore thumb and felt very uncomfortable because of it.
So, if you don't think your daughter would mind not looking like everyone else, then, go for it.
hope that helps

L.M.

answers from Green Bay on

I would reuse the dress, without the sash. I don't think that's tacky at all. I have never seen a girl wearing anything colored for first communion, though I will admit I am not Catholic and do not generally see first communion services. I do, however, see the equivalent in the Lutheran church (confirmation) and girls (and boys) are expected to wear pure white gowns over white or very light colored dresses or their suits. The color is important to the ceremony, though I also admit I have never looked into why that is. ;-)

There is a symbolic reason the girls all wear white, similar to bride's wearing white and christening gowns usually being white. If you aren't sure, call the religious leader and ask.

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M.C.

answers from Fargo on

Being a relegious ed teacher and have had four first communion classes graduate there is a reason we would not use a red sasha and its because the red represents the blood and death of Jesus and we try to use all white or a hint of pastel colors like the pink or yellow for accents. I have seen kids in jeans and a black shirt. Congrats it will be the perfect day no matter what they are receiving the sacrament!

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

I would check with your church. Normally it is tradtion to wear white during all sacraments because it is a symbol of purity. I think the boys are suppose to wear white as well, but over time that has changed. If your church thinks it is acceptable, then I would say she could wear it. (I don't know if a red sash would be the best idea)

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A.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

use the dress but buy a pastel ribbon for it instead you can pick them up cheap at walmart or a craft or fabric store

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C.Z.

answers from Omaha on

Hi M.,

I too, would remove the red sash but you could replace it with a pale pink or yellow one. Her dress would still have some individuality but a very subtle one.

What an exciting time for your daughter!

C.

S.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter's dress will be similar to the dress you've described. It is mostly white, but will have a colorful sash around her waist. Since my mother is sewing her dress, Madilyn will be able to choose the color of her sash. We would like to have matching flowers for her hair.

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D.W.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

It depends on what your church wants the kids to wear. Our Church requires the girls to be in all white dresses with no color in them and boys in dark pants, white shirt and a dark tie. You can always call your religious education director and ask.
Hope this helps.

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R.D.

answers from Des Moines on

I agree, it doesn't hurt to double-check with the guidelines for your specific church, but I would definitely remove the red sash and replace with white or a lighter color of your daughter's choice. You should be able to fairly easily find a piece of wide ribbon at the fabric store and have it cut to the same length and just finish the ends.

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