20 answers

First Communion - Golden Valley,AZ

My daughter makes her First Communion in April - we are Catholic but my husbands family is not. Most of his brothers and sister are out of state, I have one brother that also lives out of state. I hate to invite all the local people to a her First Communion and have the others feel like we are leaving them out, however, I hate to invite them, knowing they can't come and then have them feel like we only invited them for a gift. Mom's help me out - I don't think I would be offended by not being invited, but I know I would like to be aware of a niece of nephews First Communion.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I agree. I would just send the invite. They can call and say congrats and feel included in her special day.

1 mom found this helpful

I would say send the invitations. You want to include the entire family. But I would include an additional note in each of those long-distance invites saying that you wanted to let them know about this important event, but you completely understand that they cannot come because of distance (or expense, or beliefs, etc.).

More Answers

My personal opinion is that I would invite them- maybe write a little note on the invitation that you know they are likely to be unable to attend due to the distance, but didn't want them to feel left out of this special milestone in your daughter's life. My in-laws live out of state and they always receive an invite to the kids' events/birthdays even if they won't be back here during that time. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

I have a similar situation. My family is Catholic and my husband's is not. My family all lives close by, but not my husbands. When we had my daughter christened we had the typical big party at the house. We invited everyone from my side and my husband's parents, siblings, grandparents, and a few aunts/uncles. Basically what I did was call up my MIL and talk to her about my concerns. I was honest with her and said while we would be thrilled to have their family be a part of this wonderful event, we also understood they don't live nearby so it would be hard/expensive for them to make a trip just for this. Also that we are respectful that they are not Catholic so perhaps this sacrament wouldn't hold as much meaning for them personally. I then deffered to his mom on who she felt it was most appropriate to invite. We also didn't want to make it look like we were just asking for gifts. She gave me a list of names/addresses of those she felt were closest to my hubby and who would want to receive an invite. Those she felt wouldn't be offended I didn't send one to. I do always make sure to remember his entire family when I am doing things like xmas cards, pictures of the baby, baby announcements, etc.... That way they don't feel left out. I have always gotten on great with his family so I think it works! I also make sure to take my daughter down to his families for weekends, etc so they can see her and be a part of her life on their turf. Best of luck whatever you decide!

3 moms found this helpful

Hi... my family went through a similar occassion and we came up with sending a annoucement.. we took a pic of our little guy and wrote a small poem and sent them to all families. The families that were local were called with the time/date info.. Everyone felt included and informed.
It is so hard to please everyone...so I just make sure to send lots pic.'s of family events to keep the peace.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree. I would just send the invite. They can call and say congrats and feel included in her special day.

1 mom found this helpful

We are Episcopalian, but our families are not (we switched). My hubby is in the Army and we never live close to home. Last year my son had his first Communion and we let everyone know, but didn't expect them to come because of distance and different practices. My son did get lots of cards congratulating him.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it is important to invite the people you want there (and maybe a few who expect to be there just to keep family politics smooth.)

1. Invite everyone you would like to come and let the chips fall where they may regarding a gift. People do like to get gifts for others OR

2. On the invitation indicate NO gifts. There will be those that still give a gift, but it allows others to juszt send a card OR

3. Give the invitees an idea like writing their favorite memory of your daughter for her to put in a book. OR ask that there be no gifts but a book would be acceptable...

I include silly poems in my invitations (b-day usually, we aren't religious) such as..."No gifts please we do plead, your presence here is all we need".

Good luck. I have to be honest. My best friend didn't invite me to her children's baptisms (tho' I was in her wedding) b/c I wasn't religious and it did hurt my feelings a bit.

W.

1 mom found this helpful

Invite all. Then make sure you let those from out of town know that it's ok not to attend and no gift is expected, you just wanted to let them know about an event that is important in your daughter's life. That way no feelings are hurt, no one is left out, and no one feels "obligated". And who knows -- maybe some of them will show up because they want to share in the special times!

If they're not catholic, don't worry about it.
If they are catholic, send them pictures after the fact with a nice note about sharing this important event with them.

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