Finding Out Baby's Gender

Good for you! I think you'll be glad you waited :) I was a single parent so I wanted to find out what I was having so I could plan better and when I had a shower I could get boy-specific things. So it was a practical decision for me. But if I had another one, I would definitely wait this time. You made the right decision. Everyone else is just being NOSY! Tee hee! How exciting will that be when you have the baby...

I'd say that since it's your body, you have a right to know or not know the gender. Don't worry about what your family thinks or says--they'll get over it and not knowing will definately make the delivery more exciting! As for your husband, I can't help out there--talk to him and try to get the reason for his need to know the sex of the baby. With our 3rd, my husband was in Iraq for the entire pregnancy. I'm a planner and had to know the sex. I told him, and we kept it a secret from the family until he was born. That way my husband got to tell everyone! It was really hard to keep a secret and not let the he/him slip out. I wouldn't let your family know if you don't want to know. I doubt it could remain a secret for 4 months.

This is completely your decision. My gosh. No one should make you feel guilty about that. You already have boy and girl stuff, so it makes no difference. Even if it was your first, you have every right to wait until he/she is born. We did just the opposite of you - we didn't know for our first three kids, then thought it would be fun to know for the fourth! You do what your heart tells you to do. Your pregnancy and birth experience are something to be cherished and that trumps the curiosity of family and friends. Once the baby is born, no one will even remember that you kept the gender a secret - it will be all about the new baby.

Hi Jenn,

I can understand what you are saying. I had my last child and she was the 4th also. I did find out what she was and I was so excited. The more exciting part for me was what she was going to look like. Reason being my oldest son 16 yrs old has brown eyes and brown curly hair, my 7 yr old has blue eyes, blonde straight hair and my 3rd has blue eyes, blonde curly hair. So I was anxious to find out what she was going to be and even more anxious to find out who and what she is going to look like. My 4th has brown eyes, brown straight hair and she looks just like me when I was a baby. Anyway I wanted to do things differently like.... not be induced and wait for baby to come on it's own but I was. Not find out what she was but I did and i'm glad I did. You know when it's your last and you know it's your last, yeah you want to do things differently but you know what it all comes out the same in the end. I think you should enjoy the fact that you will not have anymore kids and just go with the flow. Oh and have the ultrasound tech write down what the baby is and out it in an envelope. This way if you decide to have a shower or even a welcome baby party you could open it then, W.

I don't know if you will get this before your ultrasound today, but my suggestion would be to have the tech write it down and stuff it in an envelope since you are still undecided about whether to find out. I am due in June with my first baby and do NOT know the gender. I have always wanted a surprise, and I kinda feel like it is my prize for getting through labor and delivery!!! I was VERY disappointed with the criticism I got from everyone in the begining, but I am not about to ruin my surprise for their nosiness(is that a word?!) I would tell them that I am happy with my decision and the doctor is fine with it too. (It kinda puts the guilt on them for not thinking of a healthy baby over knowing gender!) I am still having a baby shower, and just asking for things like crib sheets, matress pads, gift cards towards the purchase of stroller and play yard, monitor, socks, diaper bag, etc. There are tons of gender nuetral things out there. Besides, it will be heat of summer and all the baby will wear is onsies and diapers anyways! My family also makes a game out of betting what gender, what day, and what time the baby will be born. Ha! Good Luck with your decision!
~Meg

I personally hate surprises and I am a planner so I found out what I was having...however; my sister did not find out with either of hers. She had a boy with her first and I have to say it was really cool to walk into the room after she had the second baby not knowing what she had. She ended up with a little girl and it was a great surprise. She also said that not finding out just added to the joy of having her babies. Plus you've already had three, maybe it's time to add a little spice to the birth :)

I think this one of the few times a mom can be selfish. If you want it to be a surprise, then so be it. I envy those who have the patience to wait to find out the gender, there's no way I could have handled the suspense!

This is your baby and you and your husband should do what is good for your family! Good luck...

My sister didn't want to know what she was having on either of her kids (she has 2)...so the tech wrote it down and put it in an envelope. Hubby wanted to know so he opened it but only told people who were buying things (and giving them after the birth) what she was having. Everyone was mum's the word around my sis for the whole time. That way she got what she wanted and everyone else got what they wanted....can't say that will work for you with such young kids...I don't know that they can keep the secret, but I would certainly let hubby know that if he wants to find out he can but to keep it to himself.

Hopefully you will receive this message before your ultrasound.
--This is a child that YOU will be carrying for almost 10 months. This baby could be A Great Family Surprise. Maybe the next thought will help your husband's change of heart, (if he is not spiritual, you can change the God part to fit your husbands personality). If he still wants to know, take Linda B's advice and have him put his knowledge away in his memory banks and make mums the word, I would not suggest letting the kid-do's in on the word, though--they are too young to keep that a secret.
Hoping for a change of Heart: My cousin said it best: we--people-- know, plan, take everything granted in life, this is one surprise, one gift that God gives us that is a true blessed surprise, let God give that to you and your family.
In His Love, M. N.
P.S. Truth be told Jenn, I had to know about my one for anxiety purposes, but I often wonder and ponder over what joy my counsin experienced six times.
This is your time.---enJOY.

i know it's too late but i just wanted to say i think it's great that you are waiting - especially since you are on your 4th - and like you said, if no one is planning a shower for you, i don't think you should worry about "pleasing" other people. it will be a wonderful moment when you have it and *surprise!* find out what you've been blessed with. i think it's great - and YES you're allowed to be selfish right now. it's the only time (before it comes out!) that you will be! you know already, once they're out it's all about them lol. congrats in advance!