Fighting over the Doll House

How about alternating days, using a calender page? Post the page by the doll house and x out each day. If you don"t play on your day to bad, you'll have to wait until the next day. It never hurts to give your children rules as life is full of rules.My children are now 32,30 and 28. Boy,girl,boy and all had to learn to share and they are extremely loving and of each other. Best of luck. C.

I would not buy another doll house. In my house when there is a toy that everyone wants to play with we set the timer on the stove when it beeps it's someone else's turn. Now instead of fighting my 3 and 4 years olds come to me and say "time to set the timer". Save me a lot of grief. Hope it all works out...

I have two girls, and if they fight over a toy to long and can't share, the toy goes to time out. Usually that solves the issue, because next time I tell them if they can't play nicely the toy will go away again they straighten up. My girls are 18 months apart, so there are many toys that I just get two of, or two very similar things to prevent fights. I think that the doll house you have is kinda small so maybe get another? Maybe it would work to get another of the little people playstes and have the girls switch every five to ten mins. i got a great deal on e-bay for my oldest girls bithday, and they are at garage sales all the time.

Good luck!!

Virginia

Getting another dollhouse doesn't have to be viewed as "reward or punishment" or even as having anything to do with the other dollhouse. Think of it this way: would you ever consider getting another toy for your children to share? If you were to get another fun sharing toy, wouldn't you want to get them something you know they'll love? Another dollhouse might be one thing. Perhaps a play kitchen. Separate the bickering issue in your mind from the number or type of toys. Bickering for any reason should be dealt consequences. Unless you choose to use the toy as part of the consequence of bickering, there should be no connection to WHAT they're arguing about, just the fact that they're arguing and that it must stop.

I think this is a great opportunity for them to work on some life skills--cooperation, sharing, problem-solving, etc. I wouldn't get a new doll house, but sit down with them to address the problem and have them come up with solutions they think would work (of course, you can guide the discussion with the ideas you've read--there are lots of good ones here, etc). I think it's a great teaching/learning opportunity. This is the perfect, safe environment to start on some good coping and life skills. Good luck!!

Hi D.,

I wouldn't buy an other house, it might happen that they like one more than the other and then they will still fight for the one.
I think that the girls need to understand (I know it is very difficult) that they all want to play with it so they will have to let everyone play with it so they are all happy.
My first intent would be to see if they can all play with it at the same time, after all, they all live in one house and their dolls too.
Do you buy an other house because your daughters want to use the bathrooom at the same time? LOL Of couse not!
If they can't play together, may be 2 at a time? Or otherwise, one day each girl, on the day that one girls plays with it, she can choose if someone else can also play with her.
No need to worry about 7 days in a week, it goes back every 4 days, go by ages, the youngest 1st and so on.
Or let them find a way to decide who's first, but I think that they will have more fun playing together or by pairs rather than alone with the house.
Just my point of view, good luck!
M. Abadie
www.MyKidsFirst.com
www.MaiaCreations.ecrater.com

I would say it depends on how big the doll house is. If you sit all the girls around it and they are stretching to reach inside it, then I would buy another doll house.

If you buy another doll house, you will teach your children that all they have to do is have a disagreement over an item and you will buy another. The better lesson is to teach them how to share and take turns. That lesson will go a long way in long run.

I have 3 kids and they got the XBox360 for Christmas. We were having this fighting issue over it as well. I told them if they can't all get along and share it that we will have time segments and they will be alotted a minimum time per day and will have to switch off after their time is up. We didn't need to get to the timers as they worked it out on their own but letting them know this is an issue and something needs to be worked out helped them to work it out among themselves. I would not buy 2 doll houses. If they can't work out the sharing issue themselves then do the timer and each person or 2 at a time get it for so much time then the next person or group of 2. After a few times of the timer, they will probably work their sharing time out on their own.

Hi D.,
I agree with Jacque. No no no to purchasing another dollhouse as a way to solve arguments.

If they argue/fight--take it away for the day. Make sure they know this will happen. (It's called "natural consequences" and it teaches kids to solve their own problems--a valuable lesson to learn early in life.)
Good luck!
Angie

my opinion...make them learn to share and play together. don't buy another one. try setting time limits and consequences for not playing fare and or sharing.

As a Mom of girls I totally understand fighting. My youngest has the doll house you are referring to. Knowing the size of that one, I would definitely get another doll house with 4 girls.

Buy another one! If cost is a problem, go to yard sales. My two daughters had three dollhouses and they made a neighborhood. By overhearing many of their make believe conversations, I found out many things that were going on in the neighborhood that I needed to know about(kids see and hear many things). Plus, four people in one small space would drive anyone nuts.

D.

depends on age of girls. by age four, I have read children can start solving problems on their own. while I think you have a big challenge I would not want...I imagine if they are presented with two choices, either play with peace/take turns, or no playing wiht the dollhouse, they will learn to cooperate with each other? I am stretching as i only have two so I feel little humble by your four total. maybe have a closet with lock where it goes away or an attic if they cannot play? sort of a dollhouse time out? if they want it bad enoguh they may find way to take turns. this works for my two children on items of great interest, but not sure how that plays out with four.

I would suggest getting another dollhouse if you want to or dont get one.. I dont think it would matter . They would probably fight over two as much as one (my kids would). But I do use a kitchen timer in my house ALL the TIME! You could give them each (or two at a time) 15 or 20 minutes or whatever you feel is appropriate and then when the buzzer goes off they have to switch. This has worked so well in my house usually they stop fighting over something and play together really well. Just an idea... hope you get some peace.

You asked about buying another? I hope you aren't serious, because then you should really consider buying 3 more so that you don't have 4 girls fighting over 2 doll houses. Sorry, I'm a little sarcastic. Kids need to learn to share. You could try "If you can't share, nobody plays" or try assigning each one a different person in the family. I have three kids (7, 5, 3 yrs.) and we do not buy multiples of big ticket items just to avoid conflict, we work through it. We only have one Power Wheels Jeep, one V-Smile game, one TV in the house (yoiu get the idea) and they've learned to take turns and compromise.

I would definitely not buy another doll house. That would teach your kids that they are rewarded for bad behavior.

Ideally, I would encourage them to play together with the doll house.

If that doesn't work, I would do something involving giving them a time segment that they get to play with it. For instance the first one gets it for 15 minutes, then the next... When we have things like this at our house, we also require a 5-10 minute warning - depends on kids ages what will work. What I mean is - one child is playing with it and has been for more than the time limit, another wants it but they need to say "5 minute warning" which gives the first 5 more minutes to end their play time. This makes things less abrupt and easier for the kids to adjust.

Children need to learn to share and take turns. I say, help them learn to take turns. Set a timer for a few minutes. Pick an order for them to be in. While one is playing with the house, the other three need to play with something else. And continue taking turns. Or you could let two play with it at a time. It's always more fun to play with a doll house with someone!

OR...

You can simply put it away when they begin to fight over it. Works at our house with my boys. When they go to play with it, tell them that you will put the doll house away if they begin to fight over it. Keep it put away for a day. Then try it again. They will get the idea that cooperation is much better than fighting.

Best Wishes,

J. H.

I would say buy another one. See if you can find one used, and the accessories also, I was able to get one for my daughter for Christmas with everything she needed to play with it for $19. The doll houses are just too small for 4 children to be able to play with one at once, and it will not spoil them to get them something once in a while. They will still all be able to play together, as the other people have mentioned, the dolls can be neighbors. My mother in law has found a bunch of the little Madam Alexander dolls they give in Happy Meals used, and they work perfectly. You don't have to have the matching accessories to furnish the doll house! Good luck!

Yes, get another doll house. Four children for one toy is just too many. You don't have to buy new, or the same type. Look at Goodwill or rummage sales. With two they can play neighborhood and go back and forth between the houses. Also, if the people look different it will be more realistic as each family in real life is different.

No, don't get 2 doll houses. Teach them to play together. It will take time. Let them choose which dolls they will play with in the house and choose which rooms to decorate. If they still fight too much, take away the doll house for a time. Also, siblings fight. Don't let it get physical, but this is how they learn conflict resolution.
D.-mom to 9

Well I guess you need to look at yourself first and decide how much you want to be referee. If it is just easier for you to buy a second house with the understanding that they are shared houses (2 get the new one this week and the other 2 next week) then go for it. Yeah, it's the easy way out, but sometimes you just have to do it for your sanity and move on.

If you really want to teach them a life lesson, then work out a time frame. Pick the girls that get along with eachother and they can play together 2 at a time with the house. You can make it a reward/punishment system or just set down certain hours they can play with it and times when it's off limits.

But it really boils down to you and your husband and how much you want to oversee this. Don't feel quilty about giving in and getting a second one. I mean, really, would you expect 4 girls to ride the same bike? Hardly. If you are looking to outfit a dollhouse, keep checking ebay or bidville, sometimes you can find things really cheap (especially off season, like now). And then there is always family that can help out at birthdays and such...

Hi D.,

Why not try to split the time they play with it. 2 go play with the doll house and 2 go with you to read a book or do some other activity and then switch.
Or 2 play with it before lunch and 2 play with it after lunch.
And the one I use with my kids...."If you can't play nice, you can't play at all". Everyone has to share and learn to share.

Hi. I don't know how old your girls are but I would maybe suggest a system that works for you. Here are some options: 1) tell the girls that if they want to play in their own doll house they can do chores and earn money to buy their own. You can give them 50 cents for drying the dishes, whatever. If they are motivated enough this will work or else they'll learn to be content with what they have. 2) same as #1 but maybe two girls can go in on it together then it's theirs to share. 3) Tell them that you can sell the dollhouse and divide the profits 4 ways. 4)-this works at our house by the way - tell each girl they have "Their Special Day" once a week where they get to play with the house alone. Each girl gets a special day once a week, so it's fair. The other 3 days are days off the doll house. 5) Same as above, but instead of playing alone they just get to play first, for a designated amount of time, like 15 minutes, then the other 3 can join in. GOOD LUCK!

BTW, At our house we have 3 kids who are 8,6,and 5 and each one has 2 "Special Days" per week where they get to be first to pick whatever - the seat in the car, the TV program, the seat for dinner, etc. They are also first in the shower (they hate that) but it is good for them to understand equality. Everybody gets to be first on their own day and they know when their day is. At our house kids are only allowed on the computer or gameboy on their day, for 20 minutes. It has really cut down on the arguments.

Make a doll house schedule or set a timer for the girls. Have them play together 2 at a time and then rotate. Then maybe the next day switch partners. We have to do this for video games at my house. It has worked so far. It's nice because they still have to relate to each other.