Fighting Children - Orangeburg,SC

The only one capable of sharing is the 5 year old. The other two are too young for that to be expected of them. If you find the answer to putting an end to the arguing, please let me know. I sometimes seperate my boys when they've had enough of each other. Other times I suggest an activity that we can do together like reading or PlayDough.

Anyone one who can effectively solve this particular problem in siblings forever will be rich and famous and change the course of history!!

:)

My boys are 4 years, 2 1/2 years, and 3 1/2 weeks old. The older 2 absolutely "must" play together, but then the younger will snatch a toy, the older one will run him down and punch him in the back, and the yougest will cry until I intervene, and then insist on playing with his big brother again. It is a nasty love-punch cycle and I think in some ways just how kids (especially boys) sometimes play. I can remember that my sisters and I could think, do, and say whatever we wanted, but if anybody ELSE did or said anything to one of them I simply would not tolerate it.

To preserve my sanity (and because my oldest no longer naps) I have started a 1/2 hour of "reading time" for him in his room. I have been doing that about an hour before my middle child naps, reminding him of it and letting him pick a few extra books to take upstairs with him, and letting him use my purple body pillow in his closet to make a reading space. He is really liking it and it is giving my middle boy some quiet play time, too, before his nap.

For when they are really driving you crazy (and old enough to stay where you tell them) you could get three different-colored carpet sections or small rugs that you can roll up (or even beach towels) and set them out with a few feet in between--let them each fill a small basket with books and toys and sit on their magic carpet and make sure they don't "drop" their toys or books or get off until you tell them they've landed. Anything to keep them in one place with space between them, right? (Not that mine will sit on separate pieces of furniture for more than a minute without getting up to bug the other one.)

Interractive play with all of them, distraction, modeling by example, providing alternatives, respecting their individual wishes and sometimes just staying out of it...lol

They are all fighting for attention, space and are at the tender age where they all desire the same thing-You!

Adopt 2 out and keep 1 ;)... Just kidding!

Kids are kids, from what I have seen there are good days and bad and there is nothing you can do to alter that except try to be as fair as possible, make sure everyone gets punished equitably, and realize that NO MATTER what their age they "can" all be responsible for the problems.

I think to some degree it teaches them the skill of working things out, something that an only child may not get being the only one :)
If things get really ugly though, there should be limits. I would discipline all person's involved and tell them that next time they need to work things out without the ugly.
C.

Your young ones are still too little for this, but my sister has two boys who are now 9 and 7 and they fought constantly- to the point little sister who is 3 would babble in at them and shake her finger at them. Even when they were about 4 and 6, if they were caught fighting, they had to stop what they were doing, sit in the floor facing each other, legs crossed, hold hands and look at each. Then they each had to take turns saying why they were fighting and what they could have done to not fight (like share, take turns, ask one another instead of taking, etc). After about 5 minutes of this torture, they get along much better.

Kid dynamics.
Ages of the kids and their own developmental phases.
All ages, they get tweaked. Hence fighting.
The younger ones do what they see. Younger kids are parrots.
The Eldest though, cannot solely be held accountable. Because they are also, frustrated as well.

All I know is, my 2 kids fight too. But as a whole get along.
BUT... I make sure that I teach them, that if at ANY time, one of them wants alone time... all they have to do is tell me and ask and tell the other sibling. Kids get burnt out too. Of always being around each other.

Also, if bored, kids get on each others nerves more.

Teach them to use their WORDS, not fists.

Teach them about child development. I do with my kids. I simply explain, to my Eldest, how her little brother is developing, what he can or cannot understand or be expert at yet and what his age phases are. I explain to to my youngest, how he is who he is and his sister is older and different. I explain, these things to them.
They are not the same.
They are different ages.
This helps.

I also teach them what a sibling is.
What a "family" is.
How we are all a "TEAM."
We look out for each others back.

But kids do need, time to themselves too. Even if in their room. They do not have to, always be interacting. And, kids get tired. Then they get fussy when tired or hungry. Then they tantrum or fight when they are over-tired and at the end of their rope.
Kids have limits too.
Teach them to recognize their limits and 'boundaries.' Teach them to say it. How to say it. The words for it. Role-play with them.
Practice.

But yes, kids fight.
So expectations has to be, in line with their age and development.

We have a sibling constitution that we set up when the kids were little. It has 10 rules that they came up with including:
Speak nicely
Share nicely
Respect privacy
Never borrow without asking
Return borrowed items in same condition received...
You can make your own...
I googled sibling constitution and they had a lot of ideas. The kids came up with ours, but they were a little older.
LBC

The only way to avoid sibling rivalry is to space your kids at least 3 years apart. I also have 3 kids and #'s 2 and 3 are 15 months apart and they make my life hell each and every day due to their nonstop fighting and screaming. It is mine and my husband's fault for having kids so close in age (we stupidly planned it this way). There is nothing that can be done about sibling rivalry between kids so young. All you (and I) can do is to wait it out. We both have a few years left. God help us...