Fending off Santa Comments?

I would say (as nicely as possible), "We choose to celebrate Christmas but without Santa's help. So no, Santa will not be visiting our house. Happy Holidays to you." I think your current response tends to lead them directly to "you better be good or Santa won't come." I know it's annoying to you (and anyone else that doesn't celebrate Christmas or other holidays for many reasons) but also try to keep in mind these people aren't intentionally trying to be rude, they are just in the spirit of the season. If your response to them is said nicely, then I'm sure they will just let it go. Besides, I always thought "Happy Holidays" was always a better thing to say than to just say "Merry Christmas" because you never know what holidays people celebrate.

With that said, Happy Holidays.

1 mom found this helpful

Just tell them you don't 'do' Santa in your house. I'm glad I can say that Santa is Papa and that stops any of the comments!

I agree with the others. Try not to be offended by what many deem as a harmless holiday greeting to children. while you can say something to the effect of what's been stated in other posts, or like "We don't utilize the ideas of mythical figures in our celebrations."...don't forget to also help to teach your kids about how others may celebrate too. They will continually run into different celebration rituals and if they are mostly concerned with soliciting what they do they may have trouble when the shoe is on the other foot...Maybe you do that already, sometimes i know it is hard to remember to address sides other than the specific one your dealing with.

I would simply say "we don't believe in santa.""Merry Christmas." I mean why spend money and give credit to someone else? I think that would get the point across quite well.

I think it is admirable for you to be strong in your values and beliefs.
Unfortunately, your beliefs and values are usually not very important to others you meet randomly. They don't know you or what you value. And like any unwanted well-wishes or advice, your answer is sufficient. Even if they persist in their comments, just smile and nod. Your responsibility is not to get those people to back off, but to remain consistent in what you tell your children.
A friend of mine does not participate in the typical "Santa comes to our house" and she tells her kids, once they return home, that Santa is something that some people believe, but we don't. They still live out their values and maintain the polite and holiday spirit, but her children know what she believes and how other people have different beliefs.

My family does celebrate, however I am friends with a family that does not celebrate any holidays. Please do keep in mind that the people making these comments are not trying to offend you or your children. I think people sometimes forget that not everyone celebrates. Instead of saying Santa is not coming to our house, maybe you could say something like, We celebrate everyday of life. Or simply say, we don't celebrate christmas. In a polite manner of course. The friends of mine usually say something like, "hope you have a great holiday, but my family does not celebrate any holidays. Then you have to think, how much harm are these people doing to you and your children by saying what they say? That is a decision only your family can make. Good Luck

We also won't be doing "Santa" in my 2 year old's life, and once she is old enough to understand our reasonings, we will explain them to her, as well as why so many other people believe in Santa. Because reality is there is no way, especially now that we live in the friendly midwest, that she will not run into Santa Claus or mentions and focus on him in her life.
When cashiers or strangers who are just trying to be nice mention Santa, I just smile. People tend to get caught up in the Holiday Spirit and Santa tends to be a higher percentage of that. I would rather people came up to my child spouting about imaginary Santa than spouting facts about the harsh realities of life. The latter being my job to explain to her, the former being a harmless character. It is a strange analogy, but I tend to look at problems in life as "it could be worse". These people aren't being malicious, they are just trying to spread cheer, perhaps in a way that they don't realize may not be welcomed by everyone.

R.,
Just like you, my family does not do Santa, Easter Bunny, toothfairy, etc, either. It is sort of nice to hear other people have the same issues as I!! I think what has worked the best for me is to say "we don't do Santa at our house." As long as there aren't any other children around that it may "ruin" it for. I think this gets through to them that it is not that Santa just isn't coming to our house, but that we don't partake in the whole Santa thing. Most of the time after I make that comment there is an awkward silence and then the subject is changed. I hope that helps.

To be honest, this is something I had to wrestle with myself. My family is Pagan and for a while the "We don't celebrate Christmas" was the way we went. Eventually you get very sick of the odd looks you get.

My fiance and I have found a way to consolidate Santa into our religious beliefs. Santa just visits our house a little earlier than th houses of Christian children (our Yule is the Winter solstice). He still fills stockings and puts presents under our tree (traditions that were not originally Christian, believe it or not).

We believe in religious tolerance and we have found a way to take other spiritual traditions a part of our own life. I believe that most religions do the same, this is just scaled-down to the family level.

I'll agree that Santa was one of my favorite things growing up. It's nice that I can pass this down to my kids so that they can have fun with it, too. But everyone has to deal with things in their own way. If you don't believe Santa is appropriate for your way of life then don't let anyone look down on you for raising your children without it. Good luck. :)

I've recently trained my kids to respond with "silly lady, Santa isn't real, he's just pretend." It was their own response at first. Now I simply prompt with something like, (directed at my son)"This lady thinks that Santa is real - is Santa real?" My kids usually add some funny ending like "Santa isn't real, just like Barney and Star wars!"

I do tell my kids that it is not okay to tell other little kids that Santa isn't real because they might be "believers."

(We are Christmas/Solstice celebrators. Our oposition to Santa is not religious, we just don't want to lie to our kids.)

Seeing how the majority includes Santa in their Christmas celebration, there is no escaping these well wishing strangers.

It sounds like this might be a great opportunity to teach your children about tolerance of others. Maybe you could try telling your children that the great thing about Christmas is that all people show joy in different ways and they don't always mean to offend. Just like your family's beliefs are important, maybe your children could learn that other peoples' traditions are a big part of their lives as well.

I've found that the direct approach sadly, is the only option. I would simply tell them your family doesn't believe in the concept of santa and that mom and dad bring all the presents for your children. Of course do this in the nicest way possible. Usually people are so shocked that they kinda just shut up and ring up your stuff or change the subject. Most of the time they will ask my kids something about what they want for christmas then or something inane like that. I've never had anyone ask any questions about why not or take it any further. They are working. They don't want to cause an issue and get fired. So like I said that usually just kills the converstation in some way, shape, or form.

Hi R.,

We also did not do Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc when my kids were growing up. My oldest was very verbal at a young age and not shy and would tell anyone there really wasn't a Santa Claus. That usually stopped the conversation. I also told relatives who told their kids about Santa Claus that if they did not want their kids to know the reality of Santa not to ask what Santa brought them. That usually workded.

I am a grandmother of 6.

I'd get the kids to look squarely in their eye and say...
'You KNOW he's not REAL, right?' If they're asking the kids, make sure the kids know how to answer their question. Or you could say to your kids..'Oh my, another grown up who doesn't know he's NOT REAL!' (tongue firmly in cheek)

I don't live in a place where people ask those kinds of questions, so I really don't know what it's like.
We don't make a big deal about Santa with our 3 year old. It's just another fictional character, like Mickey Mouse.

We don't really do 'Santa' either. For us, the magic of the season doesn't come from a man in a red suit or a man in a white gown and crown of thorns. But rather, how we can show the attitude and spirit these characters have come to represent. Selflessness, generosity, wisdom, love, caring, warmth. It's not what is in the present, it's that it IS a present.

And magic always seems the wrong word. We're scientists, researchers, so when we hear 'magic' we think, trick and deception, which certainly doesn't belong. There is a word where I live and it means... in a way... 'ambiance' I guess would be the closest 'English' word. (we'll forget it's French for now, ha ha). It's a feeling and a spirit created by the PEOPLE (and sometimes nature with the help of snow) who put in the effort to hang extra lights and play nice music and offer refreshments free of charge, and organize free events for the children.

Life is hard. Especially in the middle of winter. It's a good time to be really nice to each other and generous with what we have.