Female Puberty HELP !!!!

Hi, I'm still very uncomfortable with the whole idea of someone looking "there" and I'm 27 and a mother, so I can sympathise and understand where your daughter is comming from. I have a very good Midwife who is very kind, gentle and patient with me every time I go for a pap, and makes the actual exam time very quick. I know she would take as long as your daughter needed for her to feel less anxious, and she may even be able to talk to you first and give you some help on how to talk to your daughter, or recomend some books to read. If you would like her information, send me a message and i'll get it to you. Also, there are a few good books out geared to young girls about their bodies: The American Medical Association Girl's Guide to Becoming a Teen, and The Period Book: Everything You Don't Want to Ask (But Need to Know) are two.
Hope this helps in some way.

1 mom found this helpful

Here is my suggestion, keep talking to her in a way that is comforting, explain that every woman goes through some sort of issues with their period, make her feel like she is not the only one with this problem, you could even do some research on the internet with her and show her she is not the only one. Don't make her afraid of the doctor, and don't make her think that nothing belongs up there. I agree she is far too young to be thinking about boys or sex, but lets be realistic she is a woman (young lady) and even when we don't want to think about it, they all grow up, you did, I did, our mothers and sister ans aunts did. It happens, we just have to be supportive and understanding, tell her you too have been there, and know how she feels. As far as the heavy bleeding and cramping, I suggest Evening of Primrose, it is an herbal supplement, specifically for hormonal(female) cramps, headaches, bleeding. I take it one week prior to my period and the week of, ever since I started taking it,my periods are my regular, less painful and even shorter. And with this there are no side effects, and they are great for the headaches we sometimes get, I take it when I get stress headaches as well.
Just reassure her she is not alone, and give her the option of a female gynacologist, tell her if she goes, that the dr. might be able to give her something to ease her discomfort during her periods. Being 13 is hard, just remember how you felt, when you were 13, sometimes I think adults forget that we were once that age.

We ran into this problem with my 16 year old niece when she hit puberty and first going to a male docotor is very embarrasing for a teenage girl so we found her a wonderful female doctor that understood where she was coming from and it did help as far as going to the doctor.Second I had the same problem with my period and i would suggest that when she starts her period she might have to change it every hour like during class breaks she should go to the restroom and change it this avoids most accidents it might seem extreme but if it helps and i would suggest some form of pms meds for her during that time frame.As far as tampoons im glad she wont have anything to do with them because they can cause damage to a female that is still a virgin and they wont help the flow factor anyway.Hopefully this helps and i pray that when she gets older she remebers nothing belongs up there.

tampons aren't going to be any help to her. its suggested that you don't start using tampons until after you've started having sex. have you thought about sending an extra pair of shorts or pants that she can keep in her locker for when she needs them, so that she can change & not feel uncomfortable & embarrassed all day? birth control is the only way to slow the period down that i know of. does she know that its perfectly normal to go through all this & that she's not the only one going through it? when i went through it, i felt like i was the only one suffering through it, but i know now that it wasn't just me. i hope this helps. i have two sons, but its only been a little over 10 years since i was there. she's lucky to have a mom that cares so much.

I had endometriosis for years and so have several people I know heavy periods can be a sign of things to come and should be adressed I also was embarrassed at her age it's hard to get over I would suggest finding the right Dr. in her case probably a woman the right Dr. can make all the difference and a good Dr. will know what to say to make her feel comfortable if she isn't telling you or the Dr. everything she could be setting herself up for more problems than just being embarrassed but fear and embarrassment are very real feelings validate them and try to look at all angles so your not missing something find the right doctor someone who fits her personality when you schedule her appt. tell the nurse your situation and I bet they will know which Dr. in there practice to pair her up with I go to Dr.Jonathon Lupton Southside OBGYN he just delivered my baby 4 months ago he is soft spoken very respectful very gentle and he takes his time but like I said she might feel better with a women hope this helps good luck A.

my best friends daughter started her cycle last month......and she said that she flows heavy and has cramps and all that also.....im thinking its normal....im pushing 40 yrs old and i still flow heavy for the first 2 days...so i feel for ur daughter...i have a daughter myself shes in the 5th grade...and shes gonna be starting soon too. oh dear Lord im so not ready for this yet....and im so happy u all have invited me to your womans site....im looking forward to chatting with u and hearing all ur feed back.....hang in there J.....things will get better

I had horible periods when I was a teenager also! They were very heavy the first few days and I also had bad cramps. My mom never took me to the doctor and wouldn't put me on birth control, because she didn't want to send me the wrong message.lol. I used Premeson PMS (i'm not sure if i spelled that right), anyway it was the only thing that worked for me. It made my periods less painful and much much lighter. It may make her periods last a day or two longer, but thats better than being heavy. Once I was older I started taking birth control and have never had problems since---even after I quit taking it. I take alesse 28 because it is a low dose and I havent had any side effects. But she won't be able to get it without seeing a doctor. Maybe she will feel more comfortable with a female. Good luck, and I hope she finds something that will work!

I had a similar problem when I started my period. Remember to be sympathetic and gentle at all times as a mom - don't get mad at her! Make sure she has heavy pads in her purse for school. Tight panties and tight pants also help to keep the pad in place. Wear black pants with long shirts just in case of an accident, is also a good idea. She may need to put neosporin ointment on where the tight panties may rub. She doesn't need to use tampons - it sounds like they wouldn't stop accidents any ways with her heavy flow. Reassure her that it's normal and that it will get better as she gets older. Ibuprofen thins the blood and makes the flow heavier, so if she's taking any pain meds, try non-asprin. Do not get talked into birth control to help her - it will only harm her.
My feeling is that she was like me - in that she feels like her body does not belong to her. Reinforce that it is her body - and God's. It belongs to her and God created it and everything God created is GOOD. Her modesty of her body should be commended and respected. If you don't already, see a female doctor (Pediatric and Adolescent Associates on Harrodsburg Road has several). She may feel more comfortable about talking to another woman about this. It took me until I was in college to realize that no one noticed and no one cared that I had embarrassing accidents at school. She'll get there, I promise. Keep up the good work J.!

I can understand your daughters resistance to going to the "girl doctor." Have you suggested just talking to her pediatrician about it? (Assuming she still sees one.) My sister is 17 and was having really bad cramps and was able to talk to her ped about it to avoid the pelvic exam. Also, if the ped is somebody she is comfortable with she may suggest she goes to a gyn and your daughter may be more accepting of a doctors advice to see that kind of doctor vs yours. (Teen girls are funny like that.) They may also be able to offer something homeopathic to avoid the daily pill. But I definatly agree with the keeping an extra set of pants in her locker. DEFINATLY panties in her backpack at the least, as a backup. It's a lot easier to stuff a pair in your pocket and walk to the bathroom between classes. Good luck!

My first suggestion is make her go to a doctor....it all sounds VERY normal, but once she's seen a doctor it won't be as horrifying. Find someone FEMALE with alot of positive recommendations and great bedside manner...ask around mid-twenty somethings for a recommendation. I've found that women-only practices are best, and the midwives and NP's usually have the most time. I would schedule an appt for an interview with the dr. with your daughter present - clothes stay on, completely nonthreatening, offer to leave your daughter alone with the doctor so that she might be more comfortable talking to the dr...Going to the OB is alot easier once you've established a prior relationship with the dr.

Everything sounds completley normal to me in regard to menstruation...

My daughters are teenagers and are still weary of Dr. visits. Having a female doctor would make it a bit easier. I agree with your daughter ane tampons. I refused to introduce that to mine. They know they exist, but are still weary of using them. I didn't myself until I was an adult. So I am perfectly alright with the continued use of 'pads'. I too am a heavy bleeder, and have found that at times I need to 'double up', esp. at night. If she uses the super thin ones, she won't look all bulky. also encourage her to go to the restroom as often as possible during school. If only for an occassional 'check' to see if things are alright. Have her take an adequate supply of pads and flushable wipes (when bleeding heavy, they are very helpful to keep that fresh/clean feeling)

I am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. It's hard enough to be a mom much less a single working mom.

What kind of pads is she using now? I always had to use the heavy flow pads WITH WINGS! The wings helped with the mess. Also the overnight pads are longer which help trap accidents in the back.

I use cloth pads now and my flow is much lighter. I remember all too well what it was like to be in school or out somewhere and feel the wet spot in the back of my pants. I went to NYC with my high school choral group. I wore this beautiful white suit and got up after the show only to have my teacher tell me the back was blood red. I was mortified!

Keep talking to her, get books, videos, whatever you need from the library to help her feel less embarrassed.

I was in the same boat as your daughter when i ws younger...actually I still am most months. Has she tried taking Midol...it helps with mood swings and cramps, bloating, fatigue and back aches. The heaviness may slack off as she gets older. Maybe taking her to a female doctor will put her at ease. You need to explain that her body and it's functions are all normal and nothing to be ashamed or embarrased of. If you do take her to the doc, they may suggest birth control pills...the hormones in them usually help to lighten a heavy period and ease some of the period side effects.

I used to be the same way. I remeber the way I never would never want my mom to talk about it. One of the things the helped me was one of my cousins who is older then me. My mom had said something when we were having dinner and I got mad and ran to my room. Later my cousin came in and talked to me telling me that she felt the same way. She told me that if I had any questions to call her. So I did and soon after I started talking to my mom. She helped me alot so maybe if there is someone how you would trust to say something to her and talk to her I would try that. Or she will come around some time. Good Luck!!

I have always had the same problem since I was 13 years old. I don't know what to tell her. I had to wear a super absorbant tampon and a pad for the first 3 days. Maybe you can go to the store one day and come home with a bunch of different kinds of pads that are super absorbant, maybe if she had things available to her and she could try them out without help when she needs it she can find her own personal way of getting something to work out for her. Good luck! I am not looking forward to this when my little girl goes through the same thing. :0)

Is there an adult female in your daughters life that she is comfortable talking to? If so I suggest you speek with her, and let her help. This sounds like she needs to see a female doctor. She may need to be put on birth control pills, to help slow it down. It sounds as though you need to get out and relax a little, maybe you and your daughter take a small vacation together, to were she may open up and feel comfortable talking to you about these kinds of problems. I do wish you well, and try to get her in to see a doctor soon.

I had the same problem when I was that age. My mom finaly talked to our family practice doctor about it and he put me on low dose birth control pills. I know it sounds bad to have a 13 yr old on the pill, but it helped me so much. I would do 3 months at a time and after the 3 months of pills were gone my periods would be okay for 6 months or so. So I wasn't constantly on the pill. And the fact that my mom talked to the fam. practice doctor saved me from the embarrasment of going to a gynecologist. Good Luck!

Hello, I am not sure if you and your daughter are close or not but I know that even though my mother and I are close now at that time of my life I was really embarrased to talk to my mom about those kinds of things. Does she have any other female relative that she might open up to. I have a daughter myself so I know that ideally you want to be the one she talks to so I know that would be very hard. Just speaking from my own teenage experience!

I wholeheartedly recommend taking her to a dr. either a family practioner or a gyn. but make sure it's a woman! Please don't use any herbal supplements UNTIL you've talked to a physician about their use. The interview idea was a great one, and as hard as it might be, she may just not want to talk to *you* about it. If you have any female friends, (or even one of her friend's mothers) she may feel more comfortable opening up to them.

Also get her the books that were recommended. Don't make a big show of it, just buy them and bring 'em home and put them where she'll see them. Knowing what's going on with her body can help her feel more 'in control' of the process, and less embarrassed by what's happening. Wanting her private parts to stay private is one thing, but being embarrassed because of the changes, or feeling that they're 'dirty' is definitly not okay!!

Everyone deals with this differently, some girls are mortified, some couldn't care less, and some are in between the two depending on the day ;o)

I hope you can find a solution that works for her, I also just resorted to changing my pad between every class. It was annoying, but hey, it's only three days out of the month.

best of luck to you...I've got another ten years before my daughter hits that age...I have a feeling I'm gonna be in your shoes before I know it!! LOL!