J.M. asks from Palmyra, IN on September 23, 2006
Female Puberty HELP !!!!
I have a 13 year old daughter that has horible periods. She is very uncomfortable talking about anything that has to do with that region of her body and there are so many things she needs to know. It's not that she cramp badly (though it can be predicted by her bitchiness...lol) but she floods for the first 3 days. She goes through a maxi pad in 2 - 3 hours and has had several embarrassing accidents at school. I have tried talking to her about tampons and going to the Doctor. She won't use tampons because she thinks NOTHING should be put in "there" (I hope she keeps that mind set for several more years) and when I mentioned the Doctor she curled up in a corner and cried for an hour because she was sooooo scared and embarrassed about the prospect of someone looking down "there". Any suggestions??????? on how to approach the subject or what else I can offer her. I hate that she comes home after accidents so miserable.
K.M. answers from Indianapolis on September 24, 2006
I have always had the same problem since I was 13 years old. I don't know what to tell her. I had to wear a super absorbant tampon and a pad for the first 3 days. Maybe you can go to the store one day and come home with a bunch of different kinds of pads that are super absorbant, maybe if she had things available to her and she could try them out without help when she needs it she can find her own personal way of getting something to work out for her. Good luck! I am not looking forward to this when my little girl goes through the same thing. :0)
S.M. answers from Des Moines on September 23, 2006
Hi, I'm still very uncomfortable with the whole idea of someone looking "there" and I'm 27 and a mother, so I can sympathise and understand where your daughter is comming from. I have a very good Midwife who is very kind, gentle and patient with me every time I go for a pap, and makes the actual exam time very quick. I know she would take as long as your daughter needed for her to feel less anxious, and she may even be able to talk to you first and give you some help on how to talk to your daughter, or recomend some books to read. If you would like her information, send me a message and i'll get it to you. Also, there are a few good books out geared to young girls about their bodies: The American Medical Association Girl's Guide to Becoming a Teen, and The Period Book: Everything You Don't Want to Ask (But Need to Know) are two.
Hope this helps in some way.
1 mom found this helpful
R. answers from Indianapolis on September 23, 2006
Here is my suggestion, keep talking to her in a way that is comforting, explain that every woman goes through some sort of issues with their period, make her feel like she is not the only one with this problem, you could even do some research on the internet with her and show her she is not the only one. Don't make her afraid of the doctor, and don't make her think that nothing belongs up there. I agree she is far too young to be thinking about boys or sex, but lets be realistic she is a woman (young lady) and even when we don't want to think about it, they all grow up, you did, I did, our mothers and sister ans aunts did. It happens, we just have to be supportive and understanding, tell her you too have been there, and know how she feels. As far as the heavy bleeding and cramping, I suggest Evening of Primrose, it is an herbal supplement, specifically for hormonal(female) cramps, headaches, bleeding. I take it one week prior to my period and the week of, ever since I started taking it,my periods are my regular, less painful and even shorter. And with this there are no side effects, and they are great for the headaches we sometimes get, I take it when I get stress headaches as well.
Just reassure her she is not alone, and give her the option of a female gynacologist, tell her if she goes, that the dr. might be able to give her something to ease her discomfort during her periods. Being 13 is hard, just remember how you felt, when you were 13, sometimes I think adults forget that we were once that age.
K.C. answers from Cedar Rapids on September 23, 2006
We ran into this problem with my 16 year old niece when she hit puberty and first going to a male docotor is very embarrasing for a teenage girl so we found her a wonderful female doctor that understood where she was coming from and it did help as far as going to the doctor.Second I had the same problem with my period and i would suggest that when she starts her period she might have to change it every hour like during class breaks she should go to the restroom and change it this avoids most accidents it might seem extreme but if it helps and i would suggest some form of pms meds for her during that time frame.As far as tampoons im glad she wont have anything to do with them because they can cause damage to a female that is still a virgin and they wont help the flow factor anyway.Hopefully this helps and i pray that when she gets older she remebers nothing belongs up there.
A.P. answers from Iowa City on September 24, 2006
tampons aren't going to be any help to her. its suggested that you don't start using tampons until after you've started having sex. have you thought about sending an extra pair of shorts or pants that she can keep in her locker for when she needs them, so that she can change & not feel uncomfortable & embarrassed all day? birth control is the only way to slow the period down that i know of. does she know that its perfectly normal to go through all this & that she's not the only one going through it? when i went through it, i felt like i was the only one suffering through it, but i know now that it wasn't just me. i hope this helps. i have two sons, but its only been a little over 10 years since i was there. she's lucky to have a mom that cares so much.
A.S. answers from Indianapolis on September 26, 2006
I had endometriosis for years and so have several people I know heavy periods can be a sign of things to come and should be adressed I also was embarrassed at her age it's hard to get over I would suggest finding the right Dr. in her case probably a woman the right Dr. can make all the difference and a good Dr. will know what to say to make her feel comfortable if she isn't telling you or the Dr. everything she could be setting herself up for more problems than just being embarrassed but fear and embarrassment are very real feelings validate them and try to look at all angles so your not missing something find the right doctor someone who fits her personality when you schedule her appt. tell the nurse your situation and I bet they will know which Dr. in there practice to pair her up with I go to Dr.Jonathon Lupton Southside OBGYN he just delivered my baby 4 months ago he is soft spoken very respectful very gentle and he takes his time but like I said she might feel better with a women hope this helps good luck A.
K.N. answers from South Bend on September 25, 2006
my best friends daughter started her cycle last month......and she said that she flows heavy and has cramps and all that also.....im thinking its normal....im pushing 40 yrs old and i still flow heavy for the first 2 days...so i feel for ur daughter...i have a daughter myself shes in the 5th grade...and shes gonna be starting soon too. oh dear Lord im so not ready for this yet....and im so happy u all have invited me to your womans site....im looking forward to chatting with u and hearing all ur feed back.....hang in there J.....things will get better
J.S. answers from Indianapolis on September 23, 2006
I had horible periods when I was a teenager also! They were very heavy the first few days and I also had bad cramps. My mom never took me to the doctor and wouldn't put me on birth control, because she didn't want to send me the wrong message.lol. I used Premeson PMS (i'm not sure if i spelled that right), anyway it was the only thing that worked for me. It made my periods less painful and much much lighter. It may make her periods last a day or two longer, but thats better than being heavy. Once I was older I started taking birth control and have never had problems since---even after I quit taking it. I take alesse 28 because it is a low dose and I havent had any side effects. But she won't be able to get it without seeing a doctor. Maybe she will feel more comfortable with a female. Good luck, and I hope she finds something that will work!
C.J. answers from Lexington on September 24, 2006
I had a similar problem when I started my period. Remember to be sympathetic and gentle at all times as a mom - don't get mad at her! Make sure she has heavy pads in her purse for school. Tight panties and tight pants also help to keep the pad in place. Wear black pants with long shirts just in case of an accident, is also a good idea. She may need to put neosporin ointment on where the tight panties may rub. She doesn't need to use tampons - it sounds like they wouldn't stop accidents any ways with her heavy flow. Reassure her that it's normal and that it will get better as she gets older. Ibuprofen thins the blood and makes the flow heavier, so if she's taking any pain meds, try non-asprin. Do not get talked into birth control to help her - it will only harm her.
My feeling is that she was like me - in that she feels like her body does not belong to her. Reinforce that it is her body - and God's. It belongs to her and God created it and everything God created is GOOD. Her modesty of her body should be commended and respected. If you don't already, see a female doctor (Pediatric and Adolescent Associates on Harrodsburg Road has several). She may feel more comfortable about talking to another woman about this. It took me until I was in college to realize that no one noticed and no one cared that I had embarrassing accidents at school. She'll get there, I promise. Keep up the good work J.!