Feelings on Ferber Method?

Probably a little late.
Like us.
4 nights of hell (for US)
And I now have a 9 year old GREAT sleeper!

I did not like it... And Dawn was right about climbing out of the crib, I tried it when my daughter was 18months, and for the first minute of her crying when I left, my hear broke then she climed out of her crib and fell on the floor. I was done... Never tried again.

At 9 months it might work better becuase a 9 month old can't climb...

Good Luck!

We tried it at 6 months, 9 months and 12 months. It flat out didn't work for us. We were up all night every night while trying it. My advice is decide ahead of time how far you are willing to take it.

Well, I know it's not what you asked, but personally I could never let a baby cry.

And now my babies are 20, 18, and 15, I am VERY glad I didn't. Now that I understand how insanely short the period of time is you get to hold them close. Nursed them to sleep, slept on the recliner with them on my chest. Ahhhhh! So sweet.

Anyway, sorry, no help here.

:)

Ferber gives details about how to gradually eliminate nighttime feedings in his book. I suggest starting there before you begin sleep training. Some of the other posters are correct, his methods get an undeserved bad rap from people who haven't read the book and imagine he advocates shutting your baby in a dark room for 10 or 12 hours and forgetting about him/her.

I read his book and used his method with great success with my first son at about six months and my second son at eight or nine months. Nine months is a fine age to do this, but you really have to commit, if you don't IT WON'T WORK. Period. If you want details of what I did with my sons you can PM me, but we basically followed the book.

Good luck!

If you want to know the ACTUAL method Ferber uses, know ahead of time that he never, ever recommends "crying it out." He never, ever recommends leaving a child alone to cry itself to sleep. He never, ever even uses the term "cry it out." His recommendations are to only use the tips that you're comfortable with.

His book is called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition." People refer to his actual method as Ferberizing.

I would suggest actually downloading the book or getting it in paperback. I used a modified version of the method that felt right for us based on the temperament of each of my children. It wasn't bed time that was an issue most times, until we moved to this house and my middle daughter's autism was exacerbated by the move and other transitional and dietary and toileting issues. She napped great, but night time... well, cosleeping worked best for her. It sometimes still does and she's 9 years old. My point here is that each child is different, so different methods may or may not work. Adjust as needed.

I nursed my baby when she was hungry and comforted her back to sleep. From day one and still at nine months she was hungry at about 1:00 am and 5:00 am. By 11 months she was only hungry at 1:00 am and by 13 months she slept the night through. It didn't take me reading any books or any "method" for her to sleep, just took her growing up past babyhood.

I don't get why "something has to be done" about them being a baby. They do grow out of that on their own.

My opinion...wrong.

Waking 2-3 times a night is normal for a BF baby. Instead of using Ferber try the "No Cry Sleep Solution". It's actually geared towards parents who are nursing.

Whatever you do decide...do not touch anything that says Babywise on it. The APA has even come out against the book and the methods used in it.

I I guess I did the Ferber Method or CIO which sounds terrible, whatever you want to call it. Nine months was when I started with my daughter and just like you, I knew that she wasn't hungry but just wanted to nurse. I put her in her crib one night and made sure she was dry, fed, and comfortable. I kissed her goodnight and left the room. Of course, she started to fuss and cry. I waited two minutes and then I went back in, rubbed her belly and said goodnight. I DID NOT PICK HER UP! I left and waited five minutes and went back in. I kept extending my time and each time I would go in and just gently touch her to let her know that I was still around and then I would leave. It took three nights and then she was finally able to soothe herself to sleep. What a WONDERFUL feeling that was!!!! She is now 4 1/2 and still a fantastic sleeper. My son, who is 2 1/2 is a great sleeper too. PLEASE don't let people tell you that this is a terrible way to sleep train...it is not!!! You will be teaching your child a valuable life skill...to be able to self soothe and put herself to sleep. The best thing to do is to use a timer because two minutes seems and eternity when you are not using a timer. Oh, you need to do what you feel comfortable with, which is why I started out at such a short time of two minutes. Adapt the method to fit you and your daughter. Good luck!

Continuing to nurse your daughter during the night at 9 months doesn't mean you will have to make a tough change later. My now 10 and 4 year olds were still waking at night when they were your daughter's age. I always nursed them to sleep. I had tons of people telling me that i needed to teach them to self soothe, but I feel that it is my job to comfort them whenever they needed me, including during the night. They soon became fabulous sleepers and sleep 13 hours every night. Time can feel like it is dragging when you are sleep deprived, but your baby will grow up so quickly. Trust yourself yo know what is right for your family. If letting your baby cry doesn't feel comfortable to you then trust that. Some babies need more comfort than others. Meeting her needs will help her naturally develop independence as she is ready for it.

I have no comments on Ferber as I no nothing about it.

We used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I nurse my 8 month old and she she's a great sleeper. She goes in her bed awake for naps and night and goes to sleep herself and sleeps all night. She does occassionally fall asleep nursing, but awakes as I take her to her crib.

Good luck!!

T., in my opinion, she's kind of OLD for it. However, something has to be done.

If you wait til she's walking, she might end up climbing out of the crib. Then what will you do? Sleep in her room because you are afraid of her hurting herself in her room?

At some point, you have to accept that other people have success in teaching their children to sleep through the night and sleeping through the night themselves. You got some good advice on the thread where you asked for help. Because I didn't think you were peersonally ready for the Ferber method, I gave you an easier approach. I used the Ferber method myself and it worked in 4 nights with both of my kids early on. I read the method I advised to you on Mamapedia, from a mom who used it because her child was standing up, screaming in the crib.

I hope you'll try to let go of your fears and allow your child to learn how to go to sleep without you as a crutch.

Dawn

I did it at six months with both of my boys, and it worked within a few nights for both. You will be doing both you and your child a favour. Just as you need a full nights sleep, so does your baby. Think of it as tough love. Keep in mind that even after she is trained there will still be times when she is sick or teething when you will still have to get up and tend to her, but it will be the exception, not the norm. If you wait until the child is older to start, then you have to deal with a kid who is trying to climb out of the crib, which will make the process ten times worse!

I think it depends on your child.

I tried the Ferber method on my DD when she was around 8 months... after nearly 2 weeks of her taking 5-6 hours to fall asleep, I gave that up... I tried to cold turkey CIO with her too (when she was closer to 10 months... I tried ferber again, but when that didn't take at all I decided to try cold turkey)... but after 3 nights of her literally screaming herself sick, I just couldn't do it to her any more.

I read the no-cry sleep solution book, and got some wonderful ideas. It really did help her sleeping quite a bit, but she still woke up once a night until I completely quit nursing her around 21 months.

Now, my little brother (He was born when I was 19, and I raised him for the first year did extremely well with CIO... When he was 10 months old, I decided to let him CIO, and after 2 days he was sleeping through the night.

Go ahead and try Ferber, but don't try to force it if it doesn't work for her. :)

I could not ever imagine not comforting my child no matter what time it was or how old they were or why they were crying. ALWAYS love & comfort your children. They NEED it.

Definitely get the Ferber book! We used it at ten months with our oldest, and it helped us to avoid starting bad habits with our second, too.

For the times when your little one is hungry at night, go in and feed her, certainly. But one of the main ideas behind the Ferber method, is not putting the children in bed fully asleep, but drowsy. Nudge her a bit before you put her down. My guess is, you are nursing her until she is fully asleep? She is trying to go back to the way she was when she fell asleep, and that is why she feels that she must nurse. If you start putting her down drowsy but still just awake enough to realize that a transition is happening, you might find that one or two of her nighttime nursing naturally falls off, anyway. But, I believe Ferber also recommends finding the pattern that is right for you. Maybe drop nursing sessions one and three, but keep number two, or whatever works best.

Other than that, yes, we did it, and it wasn't easy, but on day four, it was amazing. And yes, be consistent. Bedtime, nighttime, AND naptime. Remember, too, that waking at night is normal, for kids and grownups. The trick, is for kids to be comfortable enough, that they transition into partial wakenings (mumble, roll over, back to sleep), than full awake-and-disturbed.

Hang in there, mama!

I did it with my daughter at 6 months. It worked beautifully in 3 nights. The first night was the worst (close to 30 minutes total before she quieted and fell asleep). The 2nd night only took about 15 minutes (total). The 3rd night, she was asleep in less than 5 minutes, and I don't even think she cried, just took her a minute or 3 to settle down and then she was asleep.

And JessicaWessica is right. If you haven't yet, read what Ferber's method actually is. I think that it is often misrepresented as something that it is not.

I have to make a small admission though: I only had to teach my daughter to fall asleep at bedtime, not through the night/middle of the night feedings, or trying to get her to sleep through the night using it. My daughter was sleeping 7 hours or more at a stretch when she was 6 weeks old. And by 6 months, she was sleeping all night, so I only needed to teach her to go to bed/sleep without hours of me fighting with her over it, trying to sit with her, lying down with her, etc. (What we went thru with our first child, when I hadn't heard of Ferber yet). Both my kids were sleeping thru the night fine, it was just the initial getting them to sleep that was ever an issue for us.

I used On Becoming Babywise for that... again, loosely modeled on the techniques, not rigidly following some schedule. Lots of folks bash that method also. But it worked wonderfully for us. My kids are 14 and 11, and are well adjusted, happy, respectful kiddos. Not traumatized at ALL from learning how to sleep alone.

Worked like a charm on 2 of my children. I didn't have to do it with the last! My first I did at 9 months and she did fuss for 3 nights and that was it. My second fussed for 2 nights at 5 months and has slept through the night like a champ ever since. My youngest always slept like a champ!!

All I know is that I did use some of Ferbers methods and they worked for my family. It was really hard with my first and I needed my husband to support me through it because I hated to hear my baby upset.

We all make mistakes with our first because hindsight is 20/20 and we can think of things we would do differently, getting my kids to sleep on their own through the night is not one of my mistakes! I know many many people who have 3, 4 and 5 year olds who can't sleep on their own and need mom or dad to help them back to sleep a few times EACH night. I personally would not have dealt with that very well as I'm a person who has to sleep in order to function and be happy and healthy.
You need to do what works best for your family. Only you know your child's temperment and how they will handle this.

Best wishes for a full nights sleep soon!

We didn't follow the 'ferber method' but we did use CIO with common sense. My oldest daughter slept through the night from 3 weeks and it wasn't until she was 6 month old that she started wanting to be coddled to sleep at night. We used CIO then, twice, and she never tried it again.

My second daughter slept through the night from 6 weeks and we never had an issue with her at all. However, we never rushed to her side whenever she made the slightest whine. Babies can usually figure it out on their own, if you give the chance to try.

At 9 months, in my opinion, your daughter is plenty old enough to sleep on her own, all night. But, it depends on how comfortable you are with it. Just don't stick strictly to any book.

Unless you are 100% committed to following through on whatever approach you take, don't bother to start. Your daughter will thrive on your consistency (or inconsistency). So if you are not prepared to deal with some "controlled crying", the whole thing will fail, and then you've put your daughter down a path of confusion.

Whatever approach you take will require some crying and will work if YOU make it work.

Sleep training ideally begins NO LATER than 6 mos. That is when patterns start to form. Beyond that, you're working on behavior "extinction". So if you're going to do something, now is the time.

BTW: cold turkey is just fine. Don't draw out the process by eliminating a feeding at a time. She's not hungry. It's habit. Do it all at once so everyone can sleep better. You're not doing HER any favors. It's just about YOUR comfort, which is entirely unfair to your baby girl.

We used the Ferber method. We did so early, at three/4 months, it worked for us.

If you get your hands on the book, you will see, Ferber offers you the choice of tackling one or several sleep associations at once, its up to you.

Now is as good a time as any.

good luck to you and yours.
F. B.

I think you need to realize that ANY method may need to be tweeked to suit you and the child. It may take longer to change your daughters sleep habits. But yes, I think you should start now to get her to sleep through the night. The older the child, the harder it is to change their patterns.
Will your daughter take a pacifier? She may just need the sucking as a comfort still. Or if she takes bottles at all, give her a little water. Sometimes if milk is no longer offered during the night, their bodies will quit waking up to get it.
The first few nights, try to not nurse her. But if she gets upset and won't fall back to sleep then do it. Change can be h*** o* anyone :)
Good luck! I do NOT miss those days!

9 months is old enough to do it. I always broke down and went in after a few minutes. The exception for me is when my daughter is overly tired, if she gets that way she sometimes cries a little before she falls asleep. Maybe 5 min tops. I think its fine to let them fuss a little, but any loud hard crying or screaming I would go in. I would put 2 - 3 soft toys or books in her crib so.she can entertain herself, or maybe a light/soft music you that attaches to.the rails. That might help. Try sending your husband in to rock her back to sleep, see what she does. At least if you took turns you could get some sleep.

Well I did the cry it out method for all my kids but I waited until I was ready to be done nursing them at night. So at about 12 months for all of them. I kept the bedtime routine the same just no nursing and no nursing during the night when they woke up too. Yes it was hard but so worth it! And each one of my children reacted differently so it's hard to say how well your baby will do. With my first she screamed and cried for 2 whole weeks!!! I was about to lose my mind!! But I kept at it and didn't give in to nursing her. After the 2 weeks she finally got it and started sleeping all night no problem. Baby #2 cried for a whole 30 seconds the first night! She was so easy and so good! I thought for sure she'd freak out with no nursing but she was fine. When she woke at night she fuses again for about 5 minutes and that was it. She did that for 3 nights and then was fine. So easy! My third cried a little more. Probably took her about a week but she still wasn't as bad as my first. Again it is hard to listen to but if you stick with it and just go in to lay your baby back down and don't nurser him/her they should get it pretty fast. Best of luck.