Feeling Really Sad Knowing I'm Done Having Babies

Yeah, PPD has reared it's ugly head with you, sweetie.

You need to tell the doctor you are having a really hard time. I'd print this out (minus the attraction part) and give it to him and tell him that you need help.

And then accept that help.

I'm in my 50's, and I promise you that I'm not even a boring old person. I don't know one single solitary new mother who is a boring old person. You are a mommy of a tiny baby and you are not boring! (Or old!)

Nothing I say will make a difference, though. You need the doc's help and you must get it so that you can get over this big bump in the road. Do it!!

I don't want to sound dismissive, but it's your hormones. They are all over the place and driving these emotions.

I've been there, and I definitely felt the way that you do. There was one point at a neighborhood book club that I burst into tears trying to tell a friend how sad I was that I was never going to have another 5 week old baby. Fortunately, my book club group is terrific, and everyone was understanding.

Now, in retrospect, I can totally see that it was hormones causing me to be so emotional, but at the time, I couldn't see that at all.

Now, I'm totally happy to be a mom of two and I don't feel boring at all. My life is happier than it's ever been. My kids are amazing AND I get to sleep all night and I don't have to change any diapers! Life is so good, while you don't want to wish away your new baby's infancy, please look forward to the next stage of your life too.

I'd say your hormones are all over the place.
I enjoyed being the pregnant princess - but I knew it was a once in a life time thing for me.
Life is something that always changes - we can't linger at any one particular moment - but there are plenty of other stages to look forward to.
If I make it to Dec without having a period I'll be officially in menopause.
NO MORE PERIODS! WOO HOO!
I plan to celebrate it - not sure exactly how - but I'm going to have FUN!
You've got a new born - you're exhausted - your feelings are everywhere - it will get better.
Enjoy the journey!

As your children get older, each of their accomplishment will fill you up.

Instead of thinking about the attention being all about you, you will be thrilled at the attention your 2 children will be receiving.

Get involved at their schools. Volunteer. You are going to love having 2 children.

PPD and roller coaster hormones - what a party. Ugh.

From your post, it sounds like you want to be pregnant again, not because you want more kids, so much as you're lonely and crave the attention.

Have you told your husband that you miss his attention? That even though you're no longer pregnant, it wold be nice to hear him ask how you're doing, and really listen to the answer? That you're feeling old and used up, and you need to know that he still loves you and finds you attractive? He can't read your mind, and he may think he's giving you all you need, because he doesn't know what you need.

ABSOLUTELY hormones. You just gave birth seven weeks ago! I am not trying to dismiss your feelings at all but you are simply very highly emotional right now, and may be for some time.
My BFF was a bit like you, kind of basked in all of the attention (even medical attention) that being pregnant affords you, and then she had to go back to be just a "regular" woman again, and it kind of got her down. I never went through that, but I was plenty emotional after each birth for several weeks.
Hang in there, and keep up with the meds if you need them. This is a small bump in a VERY long road.

NOT weird at all. I think you are totally normal =) EVERYTHING you are feeling many of us have felt before (me included).

You're absolutely right. When a person is pregnant, they get TONS of attention. It feels pretty strange after you give birth because now all of a sudden it's not about YOU anymore. Plus, your whole routine of doctors appointments, etc. changes.

Your hormones are also going crazy. You have to remember, after you give birth your estrogen goes down to nothing. If you are prone to PDD, that's an added thing to deal with. Sounds like you are working on that now.

Everything you are feeling is OK. This too shall pass. Before you know it, you'll think back and you'll be glad that it's all behind you. You may even be really glad that you aren't having any more kids =) Once i got passed the diapers and stuff, I was thrilled to be done. But, it's going to take time.

HUGS to you mama! You will get through this...

You're going through hormonal insanity right now. From a strictly evolutionary standpoint, of COURSE your body is going to drive you pretty hard toward having more children. If we as women didn't feel compelled to have more and more children, the human race would have died out long ago. Even 100 years ago, people would lose their babies and young children to all kinds of things that are avoidable now because we have better medical care. So it made sense even that recently to have lots of children - so enough of them would survive to carry on your genetic legacy, and perhaps also to care for you in your old age.

Obviously things are different these days, but we haven't been out of the caves for that long. We still feel the biological imperative to have babies. That is what you're feeling now, and if you just make the decision not to think about or deal with this feeling until your baby is, say, two years old, you may find that this feeling has gone away completely. Or at least by that point, the hormones will have subsided to the point that you're able to think rationally about it and make a decision based upon other factors than biology. :)

In short, what you are feeling is normal, and this too shall pass. Hang in there. (And congratulations on your new baby!)

My hormones were so much worse with the second baby. I don't know why. But all the sudden around 8 weeks I turned a corner. It was like one day I suddenly woke up feeling normal, and I didn't even realize I wasn't normal before. But within a week I had this clarity like "boy I was whacko! My husband was right! Glad that's over".

I also think that when a baby turns around 2 months old, that is enough growth for you to start to realize "oh! he'll never be that small again!" and get all sad that the baby is growing. Which leads to sadness that you might never have a baby that small again.

My 3rd baby is 8 months old now and I can relate to all of this! Except the feelings for you OBGYN part, mine is seriously like 100 years old. He delivered my husband as well actually. But especially in the early days, the first 3 months are kind of a roller coaster of emotions with or without PPD thrown in. 2nd pregnancy had the worst hormonal shifts, for me. I think you'll even out.

What you're going through is so normal. Your hormones are raging, you are exhausted (from sleepless nights and from having been through a hard pregnancy), you have some PPD, you're no longer pregnant and drawing attention for that, and you're stuck in the daily routine of diapers and laundry and ordinary life. The appointments no longer focus on you, but are about your baby's milestones and typical well-baby moments. It's not at all selfish of you to miss all the people who cared about YOU and your body and your feelings!

You may even be affected by the shorter days and the coming of colder weather which makes outings more difficult especially when you have 2 kiddies to get into jackets and car seats and so on.

You're looking for someone to understand you, and pay attention, and your husband is into the routine and seems inattentive or unsympathetic. Part of you may want him to just "know" how you feel, but ask yourself if you are being so competent with the parenting that you're giving an impression that you are managing just fine. If he thinks this is a purely hormonal depression that he doesn't understand or which can only be managed with medication or counseling, he may be unaware that you need much more from him.

When I was counseling couples considering ending their fertility in some way (either vasectomy or tubal ligation), our advice was always to make the decision after considerable discussion and never under the pressure of problem pregnancies, hormones, exhaustion or other issues. So unless either you or your husband has done anything permanent, I'd strongly suggest that you defer the decision and avoid discussion of it entirely. Postpone the discussion for 6 months minimum, and maybe for a year. Figure out all these other things first without any thought to whether you'll want to have another child in the future. Deciding not to have any more children is a huge step - and even a good decision to be satisfied with the current size of a family can leave one or both parents with some wistful feelings. For some people, a family is complete with 1 child, or 2, or 6, or none. There's no magic. What you are feeling also comes along for many women when nature ends their fertility in menopause.

So lighten your load as much as you can - no more talk or anguish right now about "a third child or not", more communication about what you need to feel special, more focus on how we or society treat moms as "boring" and "old", the role of body image (when our post partum bodies aren't so young and flexible as before), and maybe some counseling to help you find the joy and respect women deserve for all that we do.

Good luck! You'll figure it out - but not all at once.

Oh I can totally relate. My husband actually had a vasectomy today. ;( I know it was the best decision for our family but knowing that getting pregnant is no longer an option is sad to me. We made the decision together but I actually am feeling a little resentment towards him since I was open to having a 3rd in a couple of years. Our daughter is almost 4 and our son just turned 5 months. There are several reasons we decided on a vasectomy. I'm 37, really overweight, and had a tough 2nd pregnancy with gestational diabetes. I know in my head that I need to focus on the two beautiful children we have and also take care of myself by getting healthy in all areas. All of my Mom friends that are done have told me they feel sad sometimes too. Pregnancy is so amazing and we only get to experience it for such a short time. I think even if we had another one I would feel the same sadness afterwards. Hopefully these negative feelings will pass. I feel silly even being sad since I still have a baby. lol I'm just going to try and not think about it I guess. Hope it gets easier for you too.