Feeling Guilty; Please Dont Make Me Feel Worse.

By continuing to educate yourself into motherhood, you are showing your girls what a strong, smart woman does.

Also, you MY hero!

:)

8 moms found this helpful

Anyone who makes you feel guilty about doing something for yourself that your girls will see...is well just an idiot!

Whether you're a SAHM, working mom, schooling mom (and all our dads here too)...you're a mom. Your girls will see you doing this for yourself, them and they will know that it's okay to do anything.
GOOD FOR YOU for following your dreams!

6 moms found this helpful

Eye on the prize. Temporary sacrifice for a brighter tomorrow.
Good luck!

6 moms found this helpful

A Gran is a great substitute for Mommy! Husband on board-critical-check! You're psyched-check! Girls seeing their mom being independent and hard-working-awesome! Best of luck!

5 moms found this helpful

I started back to college when my youngest was in kinder. The kids and I would do our homework together! It was tough but the kids were great and my husband was such a wonderful cheerleader! He called me his "college chick!" I don't think I could have done it without them encouraging me all the time!!! I arranged my schedule for the first two or three years so that I was home when the kids got off the school bus. I tried very hard to ensure their schedules didn't change much. The last year I wasn't able to do that so it was a little more challenging. I had a night class so if my husband was out of town, I either had a baby sitter or they came with me. I was very lucky that I had professors that didn't have an issue if they came. They would sit in the hall or common area with coloring books, books or puzzles. Once my daughter was sitting in class and the professor asked a question and she raised her hand! He called on her and she answered it correctly! Talk about a boost to her confidence!

When I graduated 4 years later, my kids, husband and family were there cheering me on. They were so loud the President of the University asked me who that was and I said so proudly "my family". He said "they must be very proud of you and I said You can't even begin to know!"

You are giving your kids a gift. The value of an education.

5 moms found this helpful

You can only do what you can do and you are doing this not only for yourself but for your family!!

When I went back to college I missed my kids, I felt guilty but ya know, they were fine. They got experiences they wouldn't have had I been home with them. My older kids learned the responsibility of younger kids, the younger ones found a different style of parenting.

In the end we were all better for the experience.

4 moms found this helpful

no need for guilt! Be happy, & see the good your career choice will bring.

kudos to you!

4 moms found this helpful

Why feel guilty? You are furthering your education! It would be no different if you had to work, as many moms do!
You are being a great role model for your kids! Good luck! I respect you so much for going back to school!

4 moms found this helpful

I've worked full-time since my kids were born. (I took the required medical leave, but the minute my doctor allowed it, I was back to work.) I love my daughters, however I am more fulfilled when I am also working. Happy mama = happy kids! (Or as the old saying goes, "Ain't mama happy, ain't NOBODY happy! ;)

Don't feel guilty. You are your children's hero whether you are a domestic diva or a super working mom! Enjoy going back to school.

4 moms found this helpful

Congratulations! Nursing school is hard to get into, you should be proud of yourself!

I also started school after being a SAHM. It's a big transition, and it's taking a bit to get our schedule to gel. Such is life. We'll figure it out :-)

Women have been working (in the fields, in the factories, outside of the home) for centuries upon centuries. It's really only the last few decades that we've done stay-at-homing like we do now.

My mama went back to school when I was a kid. It was a wonderful inspiration to see my woman role model kicking butt and taking numbers. I'm not sure that I'd be in school right now, if it weren't for her.

4 moms found this helpful

It sounds like you have a great set up! You can do it! Countless lives have been greatly impacted by wonderful nurses. You picked a wonderful profession!

4 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't worry about it. Think of all the wonderful daddy-daughter time they'll get! That's awesome :)
And, I think it's great for the kids to forge intimate relationships with other members of the family. Hurray for your MIL!
Go get 'em Smash!

3 moms found this helpful

I believe strongly in the power of mother's instinct. I once heard a story of a mother who relished staying at home with her children. She was able to teach them, play with them, watch them grow, and get those special memories with them and she was very fulfilled and happy. One day she felt prompted to go back to school. It wasn't what she truly wanted but the prompting stuck with her and she felt like she needed to follow this feeling. It was a hard choice to make, but she listened to her instinct and went. Right after she finished school, her husband passed away unexpectantly. As devastating as this was, knowing she now had the skills and a career as a nurse to support her children was a comfort. If she hadn't of listened, she would have been much worse off. So if you are feeling strongly this is something you need to do, then you need to follow your gut feeling. And the great thing is that you will have Daddy and Grandma to help raise and love them (and take pictures and videos for you when you can't be there.)

3 moms found this helpful

I fully support any woman who wants to continue her education. In this day and age you need to be prepared to have a job and be able to take care of your family if needed. And in this ecomomy your hubby could lose his job so quickly. By finishing your schooling you have a better chance to get a good job and be able to provide for your family. You will also be able to supplement your hubby's income and be able to provide a bettter quility of life for you family.

Go for it and enjoy.

3 moms found this helpful

No need to feel guilty. Kids need to see that they need to be strong and follow their path. I had my kids while in school (one towards the end of my Bachelor and the other during the MS). I am lucky that I have a great family who helped us through all of this (parents babysat while we either worked or went to school). Now, my kids are both in school (lower school and middle school) and they understand that to do something in life, you have to sacrifice some things for a while. They saw both of their parents working and at the same time finishing a Grad school. Kids watch and learn so do not feel guilty. You are doing a great thing by following your own path. Congratulations and good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

Many kids, like my daughter, started daycare at 3 months or even earlier. And she is doing great! Your situation seems fortunate that they will be able to be with daddy and grandma when you are gone. Parenting does take a team (village)!

I have been working/going to school since my daughter can remember and I feel I am setting an example for her of what is possible to accomplish.

Remember to ask for help for the time you'll need for studying/homework, too!

3 moms found this helpful

Your girls will be fine. There are lots of us working mama's out here that do it every day and have been since your little ones were babies.

The bonus to your situation is A: they will get some quality time with dad and B:Grandma will get some quality time and you don't even have to use daycare.

My girls are 7 and 5 and are both in full day school now. They still prefer mom when they are sick or hurt. And they still give me big hugs and kisses when I drop them off to school, return from work, and put them to bed.

Your girls will be fine...don't feel guilty mama! Good luck & best wishes!

3 moms found this helpful

Its school. Try not to feel guilty, you are doing it to better your family's future.
They will be just fine and you will still have a lot of time with them in the evening.
Good luck and Congrats!

3 moms found this helpful

Nothing will ever make the "mommy guilt" go away, unfortunately.
But, you NEED to do this!
You are a better mom/parent when you do things for yourself as well as for your family, this career will do both.

You are doing nothing wrong.
You are providing more for your children by bringing in more income, you are showing your girls that they can be career women and moms, they can have it all.
The fact that you feel guilty and the fact that you want more for your family shows that you are a good mom.

Don't worry, you are doing great! :)

3 moms found this helpful

Just remember that you are doing this to better your children's lives. I can't think of anything more giving than that.

Mom guilt is always there, no matter what your lifestyle is, or how good of a job you're doing. Hell, I feel bad for working full time and then I feel bad for wanting to walk around Target for an hour just looking around, alone.

Good luck, and stop feeling bad!

3 moms found this helpful

I don't think you should feel guilty. 7-3 is not long period time. Most parents that work work longer hours than that. If they are going to day care try to get one that is more of a pre school if possible. This way they learn as well play. Good Luck with school and gratz for trying to finish it up. Schooling is important for a good job these days.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm a firm believer that a happy, well-balanced mommy is a better mommy. I also had guilt when I went back to work recently (my children are 3 and 6 months), but I need adult interaction and while my kids are my top priority, my career is also important to me. After a long day at work I'm so excited to see them and spend time with them. The quantity of time I spend with them is less, but I think the time we do spend together is of a higher quality than it was when I was at home with both of them.

My mom worked when I was growing up and I never resented it or felt like I didn't see her enough. My MIL on the other hand stopped working and my husband remembers feeling guilty for wanting to go outside and play with his friends instead of staying inside with her. That's not a healthy relationship. I think your kids need to know you are there for them, but that you have a life outside of them is important, too. So go back to school, enjoy it and don't feel guilty at all!

2 moms found this helpful

I quit my job to stay home with my oldest, we needed money so I started doing in home daycare. I have Mommy guilt because my kiddos are stuck here with me all day while other Moms can take their kiddos on outings, etc. I also feel guility because I'm not able to visit them at school like some other Moms do. All I am saying is you are going to have Mommy guilt no matter what. Are you doing what is best for your family? Most likely yes, so try to push down the guilt monster and enjoy the time you do have with them!

M

2 moms found this helpful

Good for you. Do not feel guilty. Husband is supportive, MIL helping. You have it all covered. There will be an adjustment period for everyone, but the little kinks will be ironed out. You are a good example for your girls.
Good luck. We are all behind you here on Mamapedia!

2 moms found this helpful

Honey, you are embarking on something so very exciting - both for you and for your family. Do not feel guilty. You are going to show your daughters that not only can you be a fantastic mom, you can also have a career and help support your family. Not everyone can do that (or wants it), but for those of us who work... it adds so much.

Just remember, it's going to be a transition for all of you. Your girls WILL react negatively to start... but not because there is a problem. Little kids react to any change. Be strong, give your husband good direction on how you've been handling things so he can keep it consistent, and you all will thrive.

2 moms found this helpful

Try not to stress which I know is hard. Just remember your husband is capable of taking care of them and his mom raised him. So she must not have done too bad since you married him. :) Congrats on the new chapter in your life. Not everyone gets a chance to peruse their dreams especially after kids. I am glad you are getting this opportunity.

2 moms found this helpful

I did have some guilt about going back to work. My oldest was starting all-day PreK, and my youngest went to daycare. There was a part of me that was very, very excited about some kid-free time. I love my job, and I was looking forward to doing it full-time. That was a little over a year ago.

There are some days when I feel guilty. I'm there in the morning and send them off to school/daycare. My husband picks them up. I don't like the fact that by the time I get home they've already eaten dinner and are ready for baths and books and bed. I don't have as much time with them in the evening as I'd like.

That being said, they love school and daycare. They really do. They look forward to that time with the other kids. My oldest (now in kindergarten) has to go to daycare after school for a couple of hours. He also has to go on the occasional day off that both of us have to work. He loves it! A couple of weeks ago he said, "Friday is a stay-at-home day," because his teacher had told them there was no school on Friday. I said, "I'm really sorry, but I have to go to work." I was expecting a very loud, "Noooooooooooooo!" from him, but instead I got a very excited, "Does that mean I get to go to daycare?" Who knew?!?

I do understand the guilt, and there will more than likely be days you really feel it. But try to focus on this exciting journey for you and for the girls. There will be things they get to do that will be different from what you would do with them, and they will love it!

There are pros and cons to every decision we make. It can really pull on your heart strings. Do what you think is best and don't look back! Enjoy your new adventure.

2 moms found this helpful

It's not the quantity of time but the quality of time spent with your children. Your girls will witness exactly what you preach when the time comes for them to start school-granted they are quite young and depending on how long it takes you they may or may not remember it....however like I said Quality not Quantity-kids don't really have any sense of time at their age. You are doing this for not just you but for the entire family-it will indeed payoff in the long run. This is only a temporary sacrafice that you have to make. Besides at least they get to spend some time with Grandma which will only strengthen that bond between her and them and something that they can cherish for a lifetime!

2 moms found this helpful

Congratulations. You will be setting a great example for your kids - when they are a bit older they will see that both parents parent and both parents work. They will see that you have goals and contributions both within and outside the home - just like their dad. So when they are older - they will feel good about what they want from life and aim to fulfill those goals. BTW - those may seem like long hours now but they add up to 34 hours a week - a very achievable goal. You can do it.

I have always worked. My son started daycare at 9 weeks of age and is currently in first grade. I would personally feel like I was failing him if I was not setting an example to him that women can work and make valuable contributions to society outside as well as within the home.

2 moms found this helpful

YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You have nothing to feel guilty about. You love your children and are doing the very best you can for them. Treasure your SAHM time, but don't feel guilty for doing this(I know easier said than done)...sometimes you have to do things for YOU.

I'm happy and excited for you! We need good and caring nurses, it sounds like you will be wonderful at your job! I wish you the best!!! Good Luck!!

2 moms found this helpful

Well I think that you are doing what is best for your family. Most full time schedules are M-F 8-5 plus sitting in traffic, etc. So your schedule is not that bad. And when they spend time with their Grandma you shouldn't count that as time away from you, but great bonding time with their Grandma. Plus them having Daddy time is wonderful. Just my opinion though.

Good luck with school!

2 moms found this helpful

Especially if your family is watching the kids, there is no need to worry. I went to work when my 2nd was 1, and got pregnant shortly after. It was hard to leave a newborn, but a 1 year old was a little older and I felt okay with that.

Honestly, your schedule is shorter than most people's work days, so be thankful for that :). I work 630-330 with no lunch to get every other Friday off. A supportive husband is NECESSARY for this journey, so I'm glad he is on board.

This is going to be a challenge, but very worth it. I just completed my MBA and there were many times I wanted to give up. But I am so glad I got it - even through all of the struggles. School is something that is YOURS and always will be.

Congrats and good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

You have no reason at all to feel guilty, okay? You're doing this for yourself and for your family. The best way to ensure your family's future is to take care of yourself and your education. It'll be a rough transition, but I'm sure it will work.

2 moms found this helpful

It's always hard to work/go to school when you have kids, but you are doing a good thing here and you are being a good parent. You're setting a great example for your children and you are setting yourself up to be a good provider for them.

Go easy on yourself, Mama. :)

2 moms found this helpful

Your girls are going to be with family members who love them, and you going back to school is going to make life better for all of you in the long run. This will benefit them as much as it does you. No need to feel bad about doing something that will improve your whole family's situation.

2 moms found this helpful

Congrats on school and your upcoming career. It takes a special kind of mom to do this. You are showing your girls that mom has many special facets like a diamond that sparkles. Adjustment is coming but you will all get through it. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up for wanting more and going for it.

Know that at the end of the studies and testing you will have accomplished a dream and you will feel so excited it will be like a feather floating in air.

My hat is off to you for following your dream. Much success to you and your family in the future. Just take it one day at a time.

The other S.

PS I still don't know what I want to do but I am happy knowing that I will be home in the next few years working on the next chapter of my life. Yes I will go back to school to study Anatomay/Physiology for myself so that I can undertand some of the medical terms used with hubby's visits. But that's another whole story.

2 moms found this helpful

im in the same boat as you.. always remember that you are creating a foundation for your girls.. you will become their role models.. every woman should have something to call their own dont feel gulty about creating a career for yourself on your down time spend as much time with them and do fun activities with them.. i have a 2 year old son and starting law school next year the only times i get to see him is in the morning and at night to put him to bed but i make the most of those minutes that we get to share..

1 mom found this helpful

The most important thing is to find good daycare for the kids. I have worked full time since my kids were born (3 yo and 10 mo) and I find that it is a struggle sometimes finding the proper balance but I don't think I would be happy or feel fullfilled staying home. That isn't knockin stay at home mothers as I know that is such a tough job, I am just one who couldn't stay home. I say go for it. Your kids are young and they will adjust just fine. It sounds like your husband will be home with them when you are ways at school anyway....or your MIL so you know they will be well cared for.

Best of luck with school!

1 mom found this helpful

good for you for going back to school. the guilt is normal. your children will adjust especially if you have a good support system. famillies do this all the time so yours is no exception! good choice for a career! lots of need in medical area!

1 mom found this helpful

I am currently working and going to school. It can be done. It takes a lot of work and your family needs to be on-board with the idea to help with things that pop up, but it can be done.

Congrats on wanting to start a new career!

1 mom found this helpful

I understand you feel guilty and I would too.

However, your girls will appreciate that you have studied and worked so hard to help provide them with a stable, financially secure family.

You have a supportive DH and that is wonderful. Think of this as something very positive for your family.

Best wishes to you.

1 mom found this helpful

My mom went to college after my brother and I were about your kids' ages back in the very early 70s when women didn't usually do things like that. My dad took care of us while she was in class at night, and it didn't hurt us in the least. We developed a great bond with our dad. Now, our neighbors tsk-tsk-tsked about the poor kids, but we were just fine with my dad. I think a key factor in really moving forward was that my parents' best friend had an anyeresum at a business dinner when we were about that age, and he was DOA at the hospital. His wife had a skill to fall back on to take care of herself. But, my parents and some other friends started talking about how if something happend to the men, they didn't want their wives to be in a financial position where they couldn't get a job to take care of the kids or felt that they needed to hurry into a remarriage to have someone to take care of them because they didn't have the skills to take care of themselves. That was a huge driving factor for them. Plus, having a degree and job allowed my parents' to afford some luxuries like vacations and paying for my brothers' and my college educations. My mom didn't HAVE to go to college and work, but it allowed her to develop a career that she loved and for our family to do some things we otherwise would not have done. It was a relatively short-term commitment with a long-term benefit for my mom and for the family.