Feeling Guilty and Torn over Working Part-time Instead of full-time...help?

1. Call your credit card companies and explain your situation to them along with the fact that you are considering filing bankrupcy. They may be willing to work with you. You must be diligent and persistent until you get a definitive yes or no. This may require more than one phone call but is worth the effort.

2. Call in reinforcements for the housework. You may consider getting one of your relatives to do just a few things around the house or enlist friends or hire a local teenager. I have a neice that has a gift of cleaning. So for about $20-$30 a month you can have your deeper cleaning done or bulky heavy cleaning done or any combination there of to make your life easier. Generally I hire out those things I don't want to do like windows, dusting, and laundry.

3. When you cook, try cooking 3-4 meals at a time. This is what I call marathon cooking but you can freeze meals and heat them up at a later time. This will save you both time and money if done right. Also get a crock pot and let things cook long and slow.

4. If you don't ask for help, you won't get the help you obviously need.

Lastly, don't worry about being able to buy a home when the time comes. Credit repair isn't hard it just required consistency over time. In a year you can do things that will strengthen and build your credit up from the basement. Buying a house is a wonderful thing but you will need money saved because cash is still king.

As for the guilt over working part-time, don't feel guilty. Perhaps there are somethings you can do to earn some extra money. My husband sells things on Ebay. He has a knack for finding popular items for a low cost and sell them and make a profit. Or if you love to bake, cookies of love are great or pies or candies. Special occasion cakes are great if you are a baker. My cousin bakes loaves of bread and sells them. She also makes biscuits too. The holidays are a hot time for her.

Another friend of mine loves children and babysits during off hours for people. On average she has anywhere from 5 to 7 children that she watches overnight for working nurses and the like. It is great because the kids get to her house, eat, take a bath, get some story time and then go to bed. They are sleep most of the time she is getting paid to watch them.

You could also choose to go back to work full time but I wouldn't do that until I have exhausted every other option first. I hope this helps.

Please don't panic.

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I know this might sound like too much but have you considered govt assistance? You pay taxes too so you should be able to ask for help when you need it! There are programs like GA: General assistance or cash Aid, or food stamps which enables you to purchase any food related items. In your situation i think that you should def. look in to it, it wouldn't harm you to at least try and see if you qualify. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

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I think you should go back to work full time. You can look at it as something you may not always have to do once your husband has healed and you've gotten rid of the credit cards! I went back full time in February, and I would really love to be working part-time, but right now this is best for us. I'm going to be doing everything I can to cut my hours back a bit in October, but we had some life-changing circumstances hit us last fall, and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. It's going to look FAR better when you try to buy a house if you've had steady full-time employment than if you're working part time and using some type of government assistance.

Most people want to be with their children as much as possible, but the mortgage lenders don't take that into account or care. At this point after all the trouble in the housing market and economy, you better have pretty good finances and credit if you want a mortgage! Go back full time right now; get rid of ALL of your credit cards (this is the best, most liberating and freeing thing I've EVER done) and work towards a goal that will be great for your whole family. This too shall pass, and your husband will be able to work again before you know it. Look into subsidized child care through programs like the YMCA and YWCA (often they have amazing child care for extremely low costs and they feed your children a healthy breakfast and lunch -so that is a win-win). Look for NAEYC accredited child care centers. Also, if your family is willing to keep doing the part-time care, see if you can find a part-time preschool to pick up the other half. That may also save money. Once you're working full-time, go over a budget and stick to it. Call your credit card companies and work out a pay-off system. Most will do this because they want to get something out of you instead of risking bankruptcy and getting nothing. See if you have any extra money to pay someone 20-40 bucks to mow your lawn twice a month. Once some credit cards are paid off, you may have enough to get Merry Maids or someone to come in once or twice a month and clean so that you don't have all the deep-cleaning to do all the time. Bottom line -do anything you can to avoid government assistance. It's not going to to you any favors in the long run!

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C.,
I know you're scared and feeling torn.
Keep in mind that "all you can do" is all you can do!
BUT make sure that what you CAN do is being done!
1. Investigate assistance: foodstamps, etc.
2. Stop 401K contributions temporarily
3. Go to the library and get one of Dave Ramsay's books about financial planning/bill paying/debt snowball, etc. Easy to follow steps on how to get out of debt (could be your largest use of disposable income and if so, that needs to change--yesterday! CUT UP your credit cards!)
4. Look into Angel Food Ministries for low cost food packages--they have NO minimum income requirements.
5. Shop ALDI--you'll be amazed at what you save!
6. You can pay off debt no matter what you earn/bring in. The secret is to live on less than you make. You can do it. Lots of people do. You can too. Bankruptcy is NOT the answer.
7. Do you have car payments? Two car payments? If so--one car needs to go--ASAP. Sell it and pay cash for a 2nd used car IF you really need a second car.
8. Downsize all other services and "extras" cable, phone, internet, paper delivery, memberships, etc. Stop the bleeding, in other words!
9. Look into food pantries in your area.
10. Plan meals so you buy what you need for that week--only.
This is not going to be easy, but you can do it!

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There are several types of bankruptcy. Talk to a bankruptcy lawyer. Consults are free. Chapter 13 would allow you to pay your credit cards back at a much lower interest rate, no late fees, and you can chose which ones go on the bankruptcy (because those will be "frozen"). It only fudges your credit for aprox 2yrs instead of 7-10.

I filed nearly 2yrs ago now. I filed Chapter 7... Where ALL of my debts that I filed against were null and void on my part. That screws my credit for up to 10yrs, but we already have a home and newer vehicles.

Also, some CC companies (like Chase) worked with me for a long time on a special payment plan. They were wonderful about it. I had a sudden change in 'lifestyle' with my divorce... You have a sudden change in 'lifestyle' with your husband on workmans comp... You'd be surprised what some companies will do to work with you.

If you need any info, ask. I've been there and done that.... Just about everything with finances, I've dealt with. From a great credit score of nearly 800 to bankruptcy to foreclosure...

2 moms found this helpful

Definitly check into assistance programs. You might actually qualify for more if you don't work at all! Not something that I would normally recommend, but in your case, you need help, finacially and an emotional break from the stress.

1 mom found this helpful

You would probably qualify for food stamps, now called snap, I think. I'm sorry your family is going through all of this. I do agree with another mom that said, if you could go full time, and hire a lady to come by once or twice a week for relatively cheap to do some cleaning, that would really help out.

Also, can you maybe do crock pot dinners and even make meals ahead on the weekends and freeze them? That would really help out a ton, especially when your husband has his next surgery.

Here's one site on freezing meals, there are tons out there:
http://www.kitchenlink.com/rcpmenus.html

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Definitely look into public assistance. I have utilized the food stamp program, and it was a lifesaver during lean times! Try to stay home with the little ones as long as possible, but do not beat yourself up if you have to go back to work full-time, it may only be temporary. If you can make the sacrifice, your kids will benefit. Cut out all extras. You can add them back later!

Best to you and yours!

1 mom found this helpful

You certainly are in a tight bind. It's obvious that full time work would lessen the financial stresses in your home, so I would really consider that, and see if there is anyone that could help with some of the house-work (like a family member or neighbor young or old) since your husband is injured. Or if you could manage to budget a cleaning lady, I know that seems counter productive, but spending $40 a week or even just every other week might really help you out until your hubby gets back on his feet. My heart goes out to you, you've got a lot on your shoulders right now, but you'll make it through! Hang in there and Good Luck!
*addition* other post mention food assistance, this is good advice!

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You may be able to work with your credit card companies and have your interest rate lowered and your payments lowered temporarily because of the drastic change in your financial situation. Call and ask if they have a hardship department. That's what Discover card calls it. You can lower everything for usually a year.

I wouldn't try to go full-time. Given that you would then have to pay for child care, drive yourself crazy trying to get chores done, grocery shop, care for you kids and actually spend quality time with them, take care of your husband. You are getting by right now. Keep looking at ways to lower your monthly expenses until your hubby is back on his feet.

You want to keep that long-term goal of home ownership on the horizon but be realistic-that is going to be quite a while off-you need major time to save for a downpayment, your hubby needs to be well, etc. Do the right things by keeping your financial picture healthy without driving yourself crazy by trying to carry the entire weight of your family.

Best to you!

1 mom found this helpful

C.,

Don't feel guilty about working part time. I think spending time with your children is more important than the extras. If you are getting by and have been responsible about cutting out the extras then let the guilt go. If on the other hand, you cannot afford food, shelter and clothing you need to take other steps.

Good luck,
R.

It's okay to depend on family - clearly you all need it. We have this nutty idea about independence in the US - the family is the smallest unit of society - not the individual.

Good for you paying off the credit cards - that's a forced saving measure. Good job not using the credit cards and cutting back on spending.

We are on a very reduced income. Here are some things we do to cut costs. Take the kids to free things - like the park and library - instead of the mall and movies. Change buying things for treats and rewards into spending time together - at the park and library or reading on the couch. Instead of buying take out or frozen, buy simple foods. Quaker Oatmeal in the biggest box you can find (not instant and flavored) is a great inexpensive bfast. Instead of landline and cells, cut the landline or cell. Instead of ice cream, chips, cookies, buy fresh fruit - it's healthy and one eats a lot less of it (cheaper overall, healthier, and less weight gain - which helps with overall medical costs and energy level).

I hope this helps.

You can do it.

Would you earn enough $ working to cover the daycare costs and still bring home extra? That could be your deciding factor before you think about anything else... Daycare is expensive- especially x 2!
:)
Good luck!

My thoughts are this...if you are working part time and able to pay your bills, even if its just the minimum right now then I would continue to work part time as long as I could. Your children come first, so the time you spend with them is priority...your husband is helping but unfortunatley due to his injury he won't be able to do it all. Be thankful for what he can do. I think if you work full time you will be worse off than working part time and struggling some. The important factor is paying your bills on time with the minimum payment at least. Don't use the cards anymore though right now b/c that will just increase your debt when you are unable to pay it down with extra payments. I think the second priority here is to NOT damage your credit. Don't declare bankruptcy if you don't have to. My thought is if you are not already working full time, then you still have that option before declaring bankruptcy, so don't just declare it. Its not an easy way out. With the economy the way it is today you HAVE to maintain good credit if you want to do ANYTHING later in life. 3rd priority is you and your husband. If you both stretch yourselves to thin physically with his injury and the potential of going back to work full time, it will really hurt you in the long run too. Working full time and being a full time mom with a husband who is injured is TO MUCH...if you have to do it, you have to and you will but as I've said, if you are managing right now, then continue to manage. You can always change your status later if its becoming to much of a financial burden. If you maintain paying your bills, cut back and don't increase your credit debt then when your husband is healed you can both focus on paying extra on your bills to pay down your debts, slowly and over time. This is a bit of a crisis mode though until he is fully back on his feet...maintain, don't decline and if you are having trouble maintaining then rethink your options.

You've gotten lovely advice... just one thing:

If you are considering using a consolidation firm for your credit cards, file bankruptcy.

CH13 bankruptcy is JUST like using a consilidation firm except for some very key points:

- 13 stays on your credit report for LESS time (with consilidating, it stays on for 7 years *after* you have finished paying it off... which is 5 years + 7 years)

- Under 13 you only pay back what you can afford. With consolidating they take all your debt and divide it out over 5 years. With 13 they take into account all of your bills (including things like insurance, 401k, etc), what it takes to *comfortably* feed a family of ___, allow for education, car maintenance, clothing, entertainment, etc. and THEN take the remainder (plus your lawyer's fees) and divide it by 1-5 years. (Most people I know have to pay on their 13 ruling for 3 years).

- Under 13, if your situation changes, the plan changes or pauses. Ex) if you lose your job, or get sick, or are in any other way unable to pay... your payments stop until you find a new job. So if you're out of work for 6 months you don't pay at all, then when you start working again, you just have those 6 months tacked on at the end. Under consolidation, if you miss a payment for any reason, your "deal" is taken away and you owe everything plus interest right then. If your income decreases, under 13, or your expenses INCREASE, you file a motion with the courts and the amount you pay is lessened.

- Under 13 you are protected under law. ALL of your creditors have to file with the courts, and any that don't can't "pop up" in a year and say you owe them X. NONE of them are allowed to in any way report you, bill you, or in any other way mess with your credit. Under consolidation, anyone can bill you at anytime, for anything. Also, a creditor can opt out of the plan and you have to pay them as they like in full.

- Under 13 you are allowed by law to keep certain of your assets (like cars, a house, etc), that don't count in the plan. There is no expectation to sell, and you can keep certain of your debts outside of the plan... so not only do you keep your property, but are also building your credit during the term of the plan by making those payments.

Ch7 bankruptcy is totally different, all your debts are wiped, but it has quite a few catches.

You've gotten some good advice here. I would just to say that if you are part of a church, if you let them know you're needing help, a lot of times, they can help arrange various kinds of help for you, like lining up some household help, getting some food/pantry supplies, etc.

I can understand not feeling like you can manage full time work with a small baby and a preschooler. Consider what the next year or two will be like and make a plan. Definitely check out all the things in the other posts. Consider if your husband is going to be able to go back to work at some point or if he will need to find some other type of work when he is "recovered" (depending what that means for his injury). My kids are 3 years apart and the first 6 months were rough but by 9-12 months it was getting more manageable. I'd say get all the emergency help you can manage to get through the next 6 to 12 months and take it from there. We made short, medium and longer term goals for a to do list.

When my c-section with my second baby got infected and I was back in the hospital it was really hard on everyone--but friends and family really came through for us. Asking for small, specific tasks from people helped us get some things done (most people, even not especially close friends, will commit to making 1 meal, a few hours of babysitting, helping with shopping or errands on a one time basis). It has been over a year and we are still catching up on bills, but it gets better.

When you sign up for credit cards they all ask you if you want insurance on them. If your credit cards are in your husband's name have him call them & find out if he has this insurance. If he does then all he has to do is tell them he is out of work due to disability, they will tell him what kind of proof they need & when they receive the proof the insurance will kick in & pay your monthly bill for you. I know this because it happened to me. My Visa, Mastercards, Target, Kohls, Home Depot etc all had insurance & they covered me for the 2+ years I was disabled. It does NOT ruin your credit either as I get my crredit report every year & it always showed me paying all on time. HTH.