10 answers

Feeling Green...

Ok - so how you do get past stupid silly jealousy fits?

Right now I'm in the deep - my bff is always taking these 'girls only weekends" where she dumps her kiddos with the hubs and goes and parties like a rock star with some of her old - no kiddo - gfs. seriously - it happens at least 2 times a year if not more. It makes me crazy with jealousy.

my other gf and her family just got back from a 10 day vacation at lake powell. she doesn't even have a job!!! of course - though - they all have family that will float them and as a result they get to do all sorts of great things.

I know I shouldn't complain but i just get so jealous - i work full time - my hubby works full time - we're trying VERY HARD to climb out of credit card debt and as a result took NO vacations at all this year - other than a few long weekends to local places here in the state.

It just seems like everyone I know has some family throwing them cash whenever they need it and I can't help but feel jealous sometimes - i've had to work for everything we have and i know it builds character - blah blah blah - but i still can't help wishing some random family member would dump a butt load of cash in my lap (which has happened to both my friends in the past year) ughh...

ok - i feel a little better - thanks for listening and your thoughts

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Oh it isn't so much about 'we can't afford it' - we can - i just get tired of watching other people live a fabulous life that i KNOW they can't afford. Aside from paying down debt we've made a commitment to travel to ny to visit family this year and we are saving up for that. i'm just in a mood today - mostly a pity me kinda of thing- and i'm getting over it. I think it's really about hypocrisy - and the whole say one thing - do another - type of lifestyle people live today. My husband just got a large bonus and if we really wanted to we could take every penny and spend it on a fabulous vacation - but it's not practical - not smart - and not in the best interest of my family. So instead we focus on paying down debt - building our kids college funds - fixing things around our home. blah...i just need to get over myself today...thanks for listening

Featured Answers

Nothing in life is free. If people are throwing money at them, you can bet there is a price. I would rather do without, then have to explain myself or ask permission. I don't envy that at all. I do get jealous when I see all the women in my office going on great vacations with thier well paid husbands, while I have to scrimp for months to take a 3 day weekend with my unemployed husband! But, at the end of the day, I'm really blessed to be able to support my family and the time we get away is really great. I don't owe anybody any money or explanations and I didn't have to swallow my pride to ask for anything. I think they should envy me.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

You know, there is no better feeling than knowing that you have earned everything that you have. It's worth it. It's worth the sacrifices. and getting out of debt will allow you to be able to plan for fun stuff!
Don't waste your energy on envy.
It's a useless emotion.
You know that.
and you know you're doing the right thing.

(And don't you realize yet that the people shouting from the rooftops about the *great, fun life* they have are the ones that need to do that to convince others because generally, it's just not true?)

4 moms found this helpful

I think it's normal to feel the way you do. Some people are just (for lack of a better word) "lucky" to be bailed out of everything, but then again is it really luck or just spoiled? And what are they teaching their kids? That they can be catered too forever? Just a thought...

Take stock of your own happiness. Find joy in the little things. Take your family out for a day-vacation to a place you've never been. Take a "mommy day" by getting your husband to watch the kids so you can go out and spend the day with some friends and go window shopping. That doesn't cost anything but gas! I think sometimes it's the little things like that that end up creating the best memories for you and your children.

Keep your head up! :)

2 moms found this helpful

One thing that I've realized as I've gotten older (41 - not THAT old, but old enough) is that things are not always as they seem from the outside. Sure it looks and sounds great, but who knows how these families really feel and operate behind closed doors.

One of the best things about doing for yourself is that you don't have to listen to family members "suggestions" about how you run your life. You call ALL the shots (which is how it should be for grown, competent adults).

IMHO the sin of coveting is dangerous for a different reason than many of us think (the Bible says don't do it so it's bad). To me, coveting causes you to take your eye off what God wants to do in YOUR life (not someone else's).

Run your own race, and take heart in how far you have come, and where you're going.

2 moms found this helpful

I was feeling that way yesterday. I was telling hubby, why is it that he works and I tend to the children, we pay our taxes, try to be honest citizens and things don't seem to come our way in the way we are/were hoping. Our friends too, have kids and yet they really know how to enjoy their life.They've all lost or don't have good paying jobs and yet they seem to be living it better than us. I think that we're not relaxed about things. I see that the more you're laid back in life, and take things one day at a time everything floats well.
Take things with stride. You'll see things will come your way.
take care

1 mom found this helpful

Nothing in life is free. If people are throwing money at them, you can bet there is a price. I would rather do without, then have to explain myself or ask permission. I don't envy that at all. I do get jealous when I see all the women in my office going on great vacations with thier well paid husbands, while I have to scrimp for months to take a 3 day weekend with my unemployed husband! But, at the end of the day, I'm really blessed to be able to support my family and the time we get away is really great. I don't owe anybody any money or explanations and I didn't have to swallow my pride to ask for anything. I think they should envy me.

1 mom found this helpful

Most people can afford anything they want. They just cannot afford everthing they want.

We all have to choose what is the most important. To some families, being free and clear of debt is the most important. To others, its going out to dinner multiple times per week is more important. Your choice.

My wife really enjoy cruising. We were really bummed out that we couldn't afford to go. I finally started to analyse where we were spending our money. We gave up going out for lunch at work and some of the more expensive restaurants and "found money" enough for a 7-day cruise for the both of us.

If you want some suggestions on how to "find" money in your budget, e-mail me.

Good luck to you and yours.

1 mom found this helpful

Well, you say you work for everything you have. Save some money for a cool getaway and enjoy it. A vacation with the family is something that makes the entire family "feel" good, it's definitely not a waste of money to do something that will be long remembered. Camping is a relatively cheap vacation and I can remember ALL the camping trips I took with my grandparents when I was a kid. Everyone has some credit card debt, you never really ever get out of it completely, it's just something you "manage" year round.
If you are wanting to join the girlfriends on one of their excurstions, get yourself a jar and start saving. We like watching our jar fill up with change. That's how we bought our big TV... it adds up faster than you think. Especially when you have a goal in mind. You quit vacuuming up pennies when you start saving.

1 mom found this helpful

Been there, honey. For YEARS I was stuck there. It made me very bitter. What I came to realize is that my peers--who kept getting chunks of money from parents or rich aunts or having houses bought for them while my husband and I ate PBJs to save up for one--there were strings attached to all of it. There is always a POWER play involved when someone gets that kind of "help." For instance, I was on fullride financial aid in college (I grew up on welfare); my friends who had parents paying their way had to negotiate all sorts of ugly politics within their families because of it. Me? I was FREE. I've learned to enjoy that freedom more than being "helped." Good luck hon. It takes a while to adopt a new mindset, but it's worth it.

1 mom found this helpful

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