Fear of Inability to Conceive After Miscarraige

Updated on December 23, 2006
L.L. asks from Maryville, MO
14 answers

I am a 24 year old woman who has had 2 miscarraiges. I am also a single mother of 1. I am concerned that do to my previous miscarraiges when I am ready to have more children, I will be unable to. My doctor said we'll simply cross that bridge when we come to it, but I was just curious if anyone has had a situation similar to this or knows of the likelyhood of becoming pregnant again. My first pregnancy was successful and uneventful resulting in my daughter. The first miscarraige I was about 6 or 8 weeks along and ended do to overlifting at work. My second miscarraige I learned about the pregnancy just 2 days before it happened, and my boyfriend (at the time) and I have absolutely no idea what caused it. I don't have a husband, but when I do get married I definitely want to have more children which is causing this fear. Someone please help.

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I know exactly where you have been. I had a miscarriage, then had my daughter, then another miscarriage, then had my son. Both times my doctor told me that it is beyond their understanding what causes a miscarriage. But it is completely possible to become pregnant again, and have a happy, healthy baby. Best of luck,J.

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D.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

L.,
I went through the exact same thing. My husband and I tried for a year and a half to have a baby. I went through two miscarriages and I thought I was never going to happen. My first pregnancy went perfect, I had no problems. But my stress level was almost nothing and when I was trying to conceive again, it was through the roof. So I downsized on my stress and tried everything to relax, I also found a wonderful doctor who knew exactly what to do to keep me from losing my baby again. Now I'm 36 weeks pregnant and excited to have a little girl in a few weeks. Don't let yourself get discouraged, I know I have had my moments.
D.

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C.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am so sorry for your losses. I have had two previous miscarriages, due to chromosomal abnormality and one healthy pregnancy after those two that gave me my sweet baby girl. I am also pregnant again. I was told that two miscarriages do not increase your risk of miscarriage but that 3 indicate about a 50% chance of future miscarriage. I suggest you get a good ob/gyn. Mine has a belief that the more info you have the less stressed you will be, so he did ultrasounds once a week for the first trimester to help me be confident. If you are in St Louis and would like his name, email me.

C.

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K.M.

answers from Bloomington on

Like everyone else has said and your Doctor also, cross that bridge when you come to it. Everyone wants to have their own children, but God has a plan for each and every one of us. My husband and I are unable to have our own children, so be very thankful that you have one healthy child.

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

As your doctor said, you will have to cross that bridge when you come to it. I know that's scary thought. I had one miscarriage before getting pregnant with my daughter and I had it checked and it turned out to be a genetic code defect, so it was the best thing. The body stopped it because there was something wrong. I did go on to have a healthy baby girl, full term with no complications. So, there you go.
I know that it will still worry you and it worried me and will worry me; but, you just have to go on faith that everything will develop as it should.

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K.G.

answers from Tulsa on

I had so many miscarages due to being on the depo-shot. I was on it for 4 years when I went off it it took about 8-12 months before I had regular periods, then I would be a few days late take a preg test it would come up positive then w/in 2 days I would misscarry. I finally was able to get pregnate 3 1/2 years after going off the shot. I don't know if you were on the depo-shot after your 1st kid, but that could be the issue if u were. If not then maybe your body just needs a little bit more time to recover from your 1st baby try not to worry about it right now that can cause problems also, I'm sure when you are with the right man everything will work out.

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M.H.

answers from Tulsa on

I wouldn't "borrow trouble". Your DOC is right..cross that road when you get there. Stressing will only make it harder to get pregnant when you are ready to go down that road!

I understand that the miscarriages are very painful, but many, many, many pregnancies miscarry for hundreds of reasons and it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the mother. It is usually something that was formed wrong in the baby and it is natures (GOD's) way of taking care of the situation before the baby gets any bigger. (I know that's of little comfort!!!!)

You are busy...focus on your very healthy daughter that you have been blessed with (MANY) people are not as blessed to have a child let alone a healthy one!!!!!!!!!!!

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M.M.

answers from Enid on

It sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life which, along with your fear of miscarriage, can actually increase your chances of having more miscarriages. The world works on the Law of Attraction...whatever we wish for, we get.

If you are concentrating on NOT having a miscarriage, you are still focused on the miscarriage. See yourself as having perfectly fine pregnancies with no thoughts towards trouble or illness. Don't feed those negative thoughts anymore.

Also, two full-time jobs, full-time school, AND a home business? Sounds like your plate is really full. Is there any way you can cut down? It's clear you are pushing yourself too hard and that takes a BIG toll on the body. You can't expect your body to perform correctly if you are overworked, stressed out, and fearful.

Meditate at least 5 to 10 minutes everyday (in a quiet place with no phone or other distractions), exercise (just take a 10 minute walk), and eat right (no greasy fast food!). I know your doctor would tell you the same thing.

Don't sweat the small stuff and I wish you good luck.

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M.S.

answers from Springfield on

I would recommend that you read a book by Dr. John Lee, "What your Doctor may NOT tell you about Pre-menopause." I have a friend that had tried to get pregnant for 13 years. She had tried everything she was told by the doctors, but the only thing she had was a miscarraige. Every doctor she went to said there was nothing they could do, and she would never be able to have children. She read the book, and started using the bio-identicle natural progesterone (there are several things you MUST look at when picking out the right one - they are not all created equal!) After just 4 months of using, she found out she was pregnant! She and her husband just had their first baby after trying for so long. If you would like more info on this, please contact me, I'd be more than happy to get you whatever info you need. Take Care!

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T.H.

answers from Bloomington on

Hi.. my first ended in Miscarrage I was told it was a tubal.. but who reallly knows.... I had fears that I could not have a baby.. It reallly concerned me... so when I did get PG.. I was soooooo freeked out!!!! but ya know.. He is just fine!!!! almost 15 Years old now!!!! for my next.. Ya know they have sooo many test now a days!!! they do a progesterone test... Mine was a bit low.... so I had to use these incerts.. YECKY what a messssss!!!! but it helped pump up the progesterone and babys levels went up up up and dr was happy!!! So hey that was only a mear what 6 weeks of that yeckynes!!! No biggie!!! heehheeh

but they do sooo many test now a days.. IF you are worried at first when you have the PG test.. ask them if the numbers are High enought... IF they are worried... They can put you on a few things to help.. and dont over do it for that first month or two.. but after that.. You will be ok It really is nothing to worry about or have to concern about... It happens...

Ya know.. They say that when your Late * ya know that is many times could be that you are PG... and when it comes... it is just a miscarrage that we dont know about.... That things just did not work out... Something was not right.... And sometimes it takes longer to find out that something is not right. And well... it happens....

No matter if you are 1 week or 1 month or sadly 7 months or more along... It is a very sad time for us hu!! but the best thing to do really is not to dread over it...

When you want to try talk to your dr... Your dr can infact give you Prog to take right after ovulation to help see if that helps out along the way then in 2 weeks you test to see if it took... and they check the levels.. and 9 months later it a ___!!

* I had been on Depo Provera.. So Even thouht I was not an infertilitly patient I was treated like one cuz it takes so much to get PG after that darn shot!!! So We did the who aggressage thing...

Good luck when the time comes... before you want to get PG.. start takeing a pre nat vitamine and stuff it will help along the way too!!!

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K.F.

answers from Joplin on

I know how you feel. I have been through 2 miscarriages myself. There is no easy way to deal with it. I am sorry that you have had to go through it too. Sometimes miscarriages happen for apparantly no reason at all. My first 2 pregnancies ended in miscarriage. One at 8 wks and the other at 10 weeks. One month after my second miscarriage, I became pregnant w/ my son, who just turned 6yrs old.
So you see, there IS hope. You are still very young and have a lot of time left in your 'child bearing' years.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I understand your concern, but there is nothing you can do about it but try to get pregnant when you want to. Most miscarriages are due to genetic defects within the fetus; are you sure that one of them was really due to overlifting? If it was, the obvious solution is to take it easy when you are pregnant.

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L.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I do not know anything medically about this, but for just a little encouragement, my mom had two miscarriages after me but then went on to have 3 more kids. Also, my aunt has 6 kids and i know she had a couple miscarriages when she only had 2 or 3 kids. Hope that helps!!

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D.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Your doctor is right. About 75% of women miscarry their first pregnancy and most offten they have no problems because of the miscarrage. There is no point in adding needless stress to your life by worring about future children. My mom was told she could never have children. She was married 8 years and when she was 39 she thought she had a tumor in her stomach. When the doctor checked it out he said, "what if I told you your tumor had a heartbeat." She was pregnant with me and two years later she had my little sister.

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