Fathers Legal Rights Taken Way

wow ladies give the guy a break he is asking for advice not to be bashed!! there are crazy women out there who run away with their kids and authorities won't do anything. it happened to my cousin and he still doesn't know where his kid is and it's been 7 years. and maybe he can't afford all the rest of the pi and stuff you suggested.

B. I apologize for you being attacked. I don't think you would have posted this if you weren't honestly at a loss. Contact an attorney right away! In SD the father has to sign away his rights.

Granted, I don't know you or the details of your situation.
But, if my daughter's dad and I split, and he took off with my daughter or "hid" her, I would do EVERYTHING in my power to find her. I would bring it into the courts, would pay child support if necessary, would contact any and all agencies (the police, and any other leads I could possibly think of), would hire a PI, would contact family members, etc. I would not stop looking until I found and saw my child. Because she is the center of my world.

Frankly, I don't buy your excuses and think there is probably more to this story. It simply does not add up. Man up and be a Dad. That means doing what is best for your son - which *might* be to not push yourself on him after you haven't seen or contributed to his wellbeing in 6 plus years. If I am totally off base, a lawyer will be of more assistance than any of us (and you should have made that call about six years ago).

Sorry, but with the info you posted I don't believe you really tried finding your son. To me it sounds like your just pissed that she is remarried & trying to have your son adopted. This day in age it is way to easy to find people & I assume she has family that you could have had gotten a subpoena on for court. Maybe you should sit down & really think about your motives & ask your son what he wants & go from there. Also have you paid any child support? It takes a lot for a woman to run off with a child & not seek financial support, it sounds like this was a real messed up situation.

get a lawyer and find out your rights and press for visitation/parental time, whatever it is they call it these days.

make sure that whatever action you take, you take it out of love for your son, NOT out of spite for his mother. do NOT get angry, do NOT get vengeful, do NOT let your emotions get the best of you. fight for your rights as a parent because you love your son, not because you want to get back at her. make YOUR actions right. make YOUR intentions loving and respectful. then its not going to matter what her reasons are, eventually, they will bite her in the butt all on their own without you having to actually do anything.

courts are hesitant to take away biological parent's rights. so im betting just a legal arrangement will solve any issues. she cant legally keep him from you. and i dont think that the adoption can go through without your signature anyway. (unless shes going to claim you died or she didnt know you or something).

anyway, make sure first and foremost that your intentions are pure of heart and in love. anything less than that ..... you will have a hard time.
good luck.

This sounds very fishy to me. So the only reason you haven't seen him is because she moved? Did she not have a cell phone? Did you not have friends of hers you could contact to find out her whereabouts? I believe that there were probably many avenues you could have explored to find your son before now, but you didn't state in your short post about how you tried to find him.
In many states, no contact within 5 years is considered abandonment, and you won't have any rights. I would suggest meeting with an attorney, but I would also suggest really figuring out why you didn't try harder to see your son in the past 6 years.
You didn't state how old your son is either. Does he remember you? Is he happy now? Does he have a good life? Your ex's new husband may be the daddy that he has always known. Have you ever paid child support? If not, the courts will order a paternity test and you will have to pay back child support for six years.

Definitely seek the advice of an attorney. It's so sad when a child is used as a pawn.

I would contact an attorney and ask about the laws in your state. In Kansas the bio dad has to sign over his rights before any adoptions go through. Good Luck to you!

check the fathers rights web site. they are a fathers rights advocacy. her hiding him should be a violation of the visitation in the custody agreement and you can have her arrested.

Good Luck! My husband has a son who lives out of state. We have a current child support order, but no visitation order. She was supposed to have set one up voluntarily when they set up child support but backed out. She then backed out of even letting us visit my SS. She has cut off all contact with us and refuses to answer phone calls, or emails, or even snail mail. Because there is no visitation order every one tells us that we are SOL. The child support agency will not release her information to us, we're lucky to get any information regarding his payments. So I say FIGHT for your rights, if you truly want to be there for your child. Just because you haven't been there doesn't mean that you shouldn't get a second chance. People make mistakes (not saying it was your fault, but even if it was). My husband is contstantly trying to contact my SS and we will NEVER quit. Hopefully she doesn't try and pull some stunt like this.... Good luck again!

I can't say it better than mrsiamlove. Great advice for you. As long as you want a relationship with your son and you are willing to be the father he deserves, find a lawyer and do what needs to be done.

they have to have your permission! they have to serve papers hand delivered by the sheriff to give you a chance to say no. get a lawyer if you can and as soon as you can. have you been paying child support? if yes, then it's obvious someone knows where you've been and that will help you. it's great that you want to be in his life. my ex didn't fight this same situation. (only he knew where we were the whole time and didn't make any effort). stick to your guns and don't give in to make things easier like my stupid brother did. now none of us can see his son and he's already regretting it. good luck!

S. m

In most states you will have to legally agree to turn over your rights before they can even begin to the adoption process. This is like the first step. I would go to a lawyer and have them set up a hearing to discuss visitation/custody now that you know where he is to show that you want to see your son again. If you fight for your rights to visitation/custody then it will automatically place the adoption process on hold.

I will warn you that there might be a barrier for "abandonment" reasons so be prepared to prove that you have not seen him due to her not notifying you of his location and that you had no other possible means of determining his location and/or you did try to use whatever means you had to no avail. Courts do have some issues with fathers who go this long without seeing there children, so be prepared for having to prove your side of this. Also, be prepared that you will probably also have to end up paying back child support and current child support for the 6 years that you didn't see him, as you would've been ordered to during that time. However, really it should be worth it if you want to start seeing your son again. Good luck.

A child can not be adopted until after a parent's rights have been legally revoked. Your parental rights can not be revoked without your involvement in the process. You do need to hire a lawyer. Most will talk with you first for no charge. Be sure you find one that you are comfortable working with. A lawyer can help you understand what the laws are in your state and what is possible for you as far as visitation with your son.

I'm sorry this situation has been so difficult for you, and for your son. And I'm sorry so many responders here have been judging, without knowing the details of your situation. Good luck to you. Your son will benefit from you being involved in his life in whatever way possible.