Father Trouble

This can be a tricky situation. I was in the same six years ago. Adjusting to a baby is a BIG deal. It's not easy for anyone. Give him time. He may do things that seem to be completely opposite of wanting to be involved. And unfortunately it may be up to you whether or not you want to deal with the behavior or cut him loose. If you need someone to vent to feel free to e-mail me. I have much more of my story that I can tell, but it's almost time to get to the bus stop and make a preschool run so I don't have much time now. BUT please feel free to e-mail!

The book "How Can I Get Through To You" by Terrence Real will get him to change his tune. I just spent the past 6 months reading and testing these ideas and my husband has done a complete changearound.......which I thought to be IMPOSSIBLE!
Best of luck.

Did the father want this pregnancy? Is it your first baby?

Some future father are not ready or are afraid to be father and the easy way to deal with their fear is to go away...
I will not put a lot of pressure on him because I think it makes him more running away. I will try to do as much as possible a nice respectful relationship to keep him in touch with his baby in the future. So at least the baby would have an affective relation with his father which I would respect. It is not easy at all what you are passing threw I would suggest if you feel down to seek some support from friend or family . Good luck

I have learned in the past 6 1/2 years with my daughter, you cannot force the man to be a father. Either he will or he won't. I tried to push my husband into it and did not get anywhere but more frustrated. Don't stress yourself out over it. Just be there for your child and that is all you can do. He is the one who will regret it in the long run. Trust me. My husband does now, he missed alot and can't get it back. Sometimes he realizes it, but my daughter still comes to me for just about everything because I am the one she knows will be there. Wish she could count on him too but she can't so I have learned to just do my part and she will understand maybe some day. Good luck.

I was in a similar situation. I sought counseling and had a lot of emotional support from my family and friends. the dad and i couldn't get along because of the hurt i felt from his choices. we did not begin to rebuild our friendship until about 2 years later. Long story short, we are now happily married and working on a second child. It was the most difficult time of my life. It took an enormous amount of patience, strength, and help from friends and family. C., I wish you the best of luck.

I'd be happy to talk in more detail if you wish to email me.

I don't have any advise to offer, I just wish you luck! There maybe times when it gets rough, but just stick to it, you can do it!

If there is no way u will be getting back with him. Take his butt to court for child support. He can at least do that much. He helped u bring this baby into the world so now he has to take responsibility for him/her. Message me if u ever need to talk. I'm on myspace if u have that. My e-mail address is ____@____.com if u wanna leave me a message there.

My son's father walked out the day I told him that I was pregnant. He's never met my son. I mailed a letter to his dad and step-mom when I was about seven months along to let them know about their soon to be born grandson. Not the first such letter they'd received, by the way. I finally met them this December and they are wonderful people. All of his family is. Is there any way you could have contact with with his parents or family? If so, it would be better than nothing. Or perhaps they could reason with your child's father. Good luck!

I'm so sorry to hear that!! I know this won't help right now, but once that baby is born and he looks into his or her eyes, he'll be hooked and if he isn't then maybe he's not the right guy even though he is the father.

I'm sorry things aren't going well but now is the time for you to think of your unborn child and what will be best for her/him. Seek out professional help, there are numerous places. Chose one that you are comfortable with and research all the options. Remember that your decisions will effect you, your child and everyone around you. Don't panic and try to look at the father with insight into the future if you have questions about him now...?? I'm assuming you are young and have a life time ahead of you please remember that.

Well, the only things I have to say are that perhaps you shouldn't concern yourself with him anymore if he's not going to be concerned about you and the baby. Take charge of thinsg for yourself and your baby. If you end up together, great, but maybe you'll find you are better without him. One thing though, is that no matter what a turd you may feel like he is, don't ever bad mouth him to your child. At least show your child that you have respect for his father because he is a human being. I thnk this will speak volumes to your child. Show him or her how to be strong. This pregnancy isn;t really about the babies father anymore if he wants it that way, so do whats right for you and the child.

You just have to tell yourself that you got the best of him....and he/she is in your tummy! :o) Not every guy is ready to be a daddy, unfortuently, now you have to pay for it. You can't force him to change or force him to want to be apart of this. Be strong b/c being a mommy is amazing with or without the father. Just remember that the guys don't have a maternal bond like we do...but the first time he meets that little baby, who knows-he could be hooked. I hope everything works out for the best. Good luck and Congrats!