21 answers

Father-Daughter Farting

My husband and our 11-year old daughter have decided that farting at the dinner table (and elsewhere) is SO FUNNY. It's now something that they do on purpose at every meal.

At first I would ignore it, hoping that it was just a phase that they were going through. Didn't work. Then I started saying "please, stop passing gas at the dinner table" or "if you need to pass gas, please go to the restroom." This led to my daughter standing up, announcing that she had to fart, and then running toward the restroom. My husband thinks this is hilarous, and they both collapse into hilarity.

I don't mind them having their little joke, but my patience is wearing thin on it. When they pass gas, it smells, which to them makes it all the more funny. Sometimes I've left the dinner table, to which my husband says "look, we made mommy leave!" and then they laugh.

I've tried talking to my husband alone about it, but he just shrugs and says "farts are funny!" He doesn't see the issue, and tells me to "lighten up." HE is part of the problem because he will pass gas first! He also does it when we're in the car.

What made me really decide I need to act is what is now happening in public. My daughter must not have the ability to hold her gas anymore, so she let one go when we were in a restaurant. We were sitting on a wooden booth so it was loud, and I'm sure everyone heard it. I was very embarrassed (sadly my daughter was not). Another time in a restaurant she said she had to pass gas, and stood up (apparently to go to the restroom) but then she couldn't hold it, she let it go and again it was loud and it smelled. It's just like home, except now in public!

My husband just tells her that she can't act like that in public, but doesn't see that habits are formed at home!

I've gone through many plans in my head. Eating in another room, refusing to go out in public, etc. I've also thought about telling my daughter that if this continues that she will have to go to the doctor because something is wrong with her stomach. However, I dislike using that because I never want her to hide any real problems from me because she fears the doctor.

My other idea was to just start serving very bland food since something is obviously wrong with my husband and daughter's stomachs.

Talking to my husband about it isn't working. I need another avenue of approach!

I have noticed that the only place this behavior does NOT happen is at my husband's mom's house. She is definitely a person who won't put up with it! I won't put up with it either, but sadly a wife is not the same as a mother! This demonstrates to me that there is NOT really anything wrong with their stomachs, and they can control it should they choose to.

Advice appreciated!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone for your diverse answers! Believe it or not, the problem DID fix itself! My daughter was at gymnastics class. She got up to demonstrate a skill in front of everyone and she farted really loud in the middle. Now, that's actually quite common in gymnastics, but she did it in front of everyone. I actually felt bad for her because she was SO embarrassed! She ran out of the gym and was crying. A lot of the kids started laughing. I just told her that it was a natural thing, and that it was okay. Later when she came back to the gym no one said anything.

I was a good mama and I didn't say "I told you so," I just comforted her as best as I could.

That night my husband farted at the table AGAIN. I ignored it (just like y'all suggested) with a straight face. My daughter looked up, scowled at him, and then said "that's not funny, dad."

I don't think it will be happening again! I'm sad she had to learn the lesson the hard way, but that's how life goes sometimes.

Featured Answers

Have you thought that maybe they do it to get a rise out of you?

Dinner table is unacceptable...

However, with that said we are a farting family...growing up we had fart wars and mom was the SBD type (silent but deadly)....she was hard to beat.

3 moms found this helpful

I thought this was a joke / troll posting! I'm sorry ..... I know you're upset, but try to let it go. I'm with Emerald and Melanie S on this one. :-) Love to you.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

They have laughing gas. Really, what's making it even funnier to them is that fact that you don't find it funny. I'm sorry for your frustration, but your husband is right, "farts are funny". Why should your daughter be punished when her dad, an adult, is the instigator?
My only suggestion is that you wait out their gas and it'll pass. Lol.

8 moms found this helpful

OK, I am not a fan of farting at the dinner table, but with that said, I think you are making way too big of a deal of all this. She is 11. He is a guy. They just think its funny, and apparently are bonding over their fart humor. She will soon outgrow this. He will not, but wont have a partner in crime anymore, so it wont be as funny. Its not hurting anyone. I would not die on this hill.

8 moms found this helpful

First, I would suggest that it's important to learn not to be embarrassed by what our children do. Their behavior is a reflection on them, not you.

An 11 year-old will think this is funny until she's at school, and it doesn't make her any friends, and causes her embarrassment.

In fact, that might be an angle you try on your husband. Letting this behavior become a habit could be setting her up for some bad experiences at school or with friends. I'm sorry, but no one want the middle-school reputation as "the girl who farts".

6 moms found this helpful

All you have to do is tell your daughter
"Eventually you will be dating, and wanting to be impressing some boy.
And right now you are giving me SO MUCH to talk with him about.
Keep it up, Dear! I'm sure we'll be having a good laugh over it for years to come!".

6 moms found this helpful

I totally remember going thru the fart stage, my sis and I would do it and laugh because it got my mom so riled up.

When you quit reacting it will become less fun for them. Of course, they will probably share it together for awhile for the laugh, but I pretty much guarantee your daughter wont be doing it in public for too long.

You might talk to your husband, alone, about his daughter having a bit more class and that you don't want her getting embarrassed in some other venue, but it probably wont help.

It is just a fart, and she sounds like a girl that isn't gonna let some guy let her get bloated by holding one in when it needs released. She sounds like a free spirit, and dads bring that out in their daughters.

5 moms found this helpful

Ok, so this made me totally crack up! (See my post on toots from a few months ago: http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/1462332396602064897)

Anyway, I also draw the line at the dinner table. Anyone caught tooting at the dinner table pays a fine. To me. Oh, and I collect it right then and there. There is a time/place to be silly and in the privacy of my own home, I let it fly (er, they let it fly, no pun intended). But not at the dinner table. And not in public -- egads!

I also got a good giggle out of the fact that they know that grandma's house is off limits for passing wind. Same thing goes at MY MIL's house. We joke that my MIL has probably never tooted in her life. If she did, it would probably be like your dog where they're so surprised that they look at their back end like "WTH was THAT?!"

Good luck with this stinky situation. Try the fines. Worked for us!

5 moms found this helpful

Tell your daughter that if she doesn't learn to control it now, she will be very embarrased if she does it with her boyfriend and he doesn't think its funny.

Secondly, if they continue to do this, they will have a very messy bed if they fall asleep if they ever have Diarrhea. Why, because it will become a natural reflex to pass the gas and Diarrhea feels a lot like gas. And can she imagine this happening at a friends house during a sleep over?

Good luck to you and yours.

5 moms found this helpful

Have you thought that maybe they do it to get a rise out of you?

Dinner table is unacceptable...

However, with that said we are a farting family...growing up we had fart wars and mom was the SBD type (silent but deadly)....she was hard to beat.

3 moms found this helpful

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