R.L. asks from Hope Mills, NC on February 06, 2007
Father Breaking Agreement
I have a 4 year old son, who is awesome and I have recently let me go visit his father who lives in another state. Our son has been there once before and we didn't have any problems, but this time his father is saying that he does not have the funds to bring our son back home. The agreement was that he would come and get him and bring him home after a month. His father has just this month started paying child support after 3 years of non payment and I have finally caught up on all the bills. Wonderful feeling. I dont non what to do please help! I really can't afford the travel to VT either. It is in our agreement that he is only allowed certain times and when to have him back. My only problem is that he leaves in a liberal state that VT that doesn't really hold to NC. He already has a contempment for non payment for the past 6 months and NC says that can't do anything until he is served. So once again I start all over again. This has been an on going battle.
S.D. answers from Raleigh on February 07, 2007
I have a daughter by marriage and we moved out of state. This is a hard one. Do you have a court order for the visitation? Does it state it is his responsibility to get him home? If he does not have your son back by the date listed, you may want to talk to a court appointed attorney and the police. If it states in your court order how long he can have him and he doesn't adhere to this, he is in contempt. You may want to look online for child avocacy organizations that can help you and guide you.
E.N. answers from Asheville on February 07, 2007
sorry to hear that. borrow the money, from family or friends, call your ex's parents if you can and ask them to bring him home. do whatever you have to so you can get your little boy. my sons are my world and i would beg, borrow or steal for them. as i know most moms would. i am sure where there is a will there is a way. have faith, and may god bless you and your son.
B.L. answers from Spartanburg on February 06, 2007
Without knowing what your court records state, it's hard to say what you need to do. Coming from a mom, I would go & get my child no matter what. Not to mention, it sounds as though the law needs to be involved. Depending on your court papers, it could be considered kidnapping. I would get legal help fast! Above all else, pray. God can do what no one else can!
T.B. answers from Norfolk on February 06, 2007
The first question I have is, is the agreement written into a court order? If so, then he is responsible for making arangements to get your son back to you. I have a friend that has had the same problem with his ex wife and transportation for their son (who is now 14). If the court has agreed to what the two of you chose, then he is responsible for the transportation, not you. I wish there was more I could tell you!
A.B. answers from Charlotte on February 06, 2007
If it is in your custody aggrement that he drops him off and picks him up and he isn't doing it, then he is in contempt. You may want to compromise and meet him halfway somewhere at least this time. As far as the child support goes, contact Child Support Enforcement and they will take it directly from his paycheck and if he keeps quitting or changing jobs so that they can not establish employment, they automatically take him to court. Good luck.
C.F. answers from Sumter on February 07, 2007
HI,my name is C. and if i were in your shoes and i wanted my son back home with me i would call the police!! It seems if you could get him on contimped of court. or something to get your son back..your's truley C.
S.G. answers from Savannah on February 06, 2007
How is it spelled out in the divorce papers on visitation and transportation? If it says you split the transportation 50/50 then I would do one of two things. I would either make arrangements to get my child myself with the understanding that the father has to pay for or endure all transportation issues next time (I've had to do this with my DD's father and it has worked so far).Option two (for drastic measures) when he is not where he is supposed to be with your son when you are supposed to get him back then I would call the police and report your child as being abducted. I had to threaten this upon my DD's father one time when he was giving me grief about not being able to make the drive from MI to TN when he was supposed to give her back to me, hence why the first option works for us cause he knows I'm not playing games with him. The second option sounds harsh I know, but my DD's father has always been kind of a dead beat dad so I just decided to take a stand and put my foot down to his BS!
Just look at your divorce papers really good and see what is says you both can and can't do and go from there. And next time he is supposed to go with his dad, tell him to make sure he has the funds to get his son back home to you before he goes to visit with him. Good luck to you!!
R.G. answers from Spartanburg on February 07, 2007
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It is awful when parents don't live up to what they have agreed to do with regards to their kids. The only people who loose in these situations is the kids. That being said, I would first try to see if dad is willing to meet you half way - yes you are going of your way to do this but in doing so maybe you will be able to get your son back without a battle. What do your divorce papers so, if he is responsible to return him on a set date and time then you can go to your local police department and show them the papers and that he is in contempt and it could also be considered kidnapping. I would also contact a local attorney and see what your options are, some will give you a free consultation and this way you know what your options are.
I hope things work out for both you and your son!