17 answers

Father & 5 Yr Old Son Showering Together Inappropriate?

My husband showers with my son maybe 1-2 times a week. This has been going on since my son was about 2, he is now 5 yrs old. He loves showering with Daddy. They will shower together after working out in the yard or playing sports together.

My son has on some occasions pointed out how they have all the same body parts and they are both “boys”.

The other day they were showering and I was hanging clothes in the closet. I hear my son say “Daddy, let me see your “P” (my son knows the proper word but don’t know if I can say it on here). My husband responded with “What? Why do you want to look at it?” and he started to kind of chuckle. At this moment my husband had his back to my son. My son said because I just want to get a closer look at it. My son looks down at it and says “Oh Daddy! It so ccuuuuute!!” and that was it.

My husband turns to me and says “OK no more showers together!”

He finished up while my son played with some toys he had in there and got out. In the meantime I was pretty much cracking up about what my son said!

This weekend we played basketball and my husband and son were all sweaty. When they got upstairs my son expected to shower with Daddy as usual. My husband told him that they could not take showers together anymore and my son was so disappointed! When I asked my husband if he still felt strange about what happened he said yes that he feels at this point it would be inappropriate to shower with him. I disagreed. It would not be inappropriate at all.

Now if my husband feels “uncomfortable” then that’s a different story, but I felt so bad for my son who was obviously really sad. No more showers with Daddy?? Say it isn’t so!!! =-)

My husband was clear – it is inappropriate now.

Instead I redirected my son by getting him a bath ready with his bath paints and he was happy.

What is your call on this? Would you say “inappropriate” after what happened my son asking to "look" at Daddy's "P"?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Whether or not we think it's inappropriate doesn't really matter. Dad is uncomfortable. Looks like bathtime will be baths and paints from now on!

4 moms found this helpful

can they do it in their swim trunks getting ready for summer or something to make the transition to no more showers? I think when it is no longer comfortable for one or both it's time to be done with this practice. I agree that if he is no longer comfortable with it then time is up and I think that would make me uncomfortable too.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

It depends... IS it cute?

12 moms found this helpful

Certainly, no one has done anything wrong here. Your son did what kids do and says everything on his mind!! Obviously nothing inappropriate. Your husband sounds awesome and like he did exactly the right thing. It was fine until someone became uncomfortable, and now it's done. If they continued to shower together with your hubby uncomfortable, that's when it becomes inappropriate.

Good for your son, good for your hubby. And you are reacting normally, too. It's sad to see a phase come to an end, always hard to see them grow up.

11 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't say your son's question was inappropriate--he's 5!
BUT, generally, co-showering by same sex people (adult/kid) is fine until ONE of them becomes uncomfortable. Your husband is now uncomfortable, but it's not inappropriate.

p.s. LOL, LOL, LOL about the "cute" comment!

10 moms found this helpful

First of all....kids say the darnest things!!! So funny and cute....but he was truly prob just being curious. I have 2 boys myself and they always showered with my hubby as well...just so much easier. But 5 was about the age where they started showering by themselves. I would say if your hubs is uncomfortable then it is time. But, don't tell your son that...have your hubs tell him that he should start taking showers by himself because he is a big boy now. My boys always responded really well when my hubs told them that....guys like the macho thing. Good luck! If you are really having probs transitioning...you could phase him out with your hubs wearing swim shorts.

7 moms found this helpful

Sorry, I know it is a bummer and I am for co anything sleeping/bathing etc until one is uncomfortable. I was sad when I could no longer put two kids in the tub together, and i am pretty sure the days of being able to stick my youngest in the tub with me are near as well ( I have a huge corner bath tub)
I would not say it was inappropriate at all, but you can not "unfeel" uncomfortable...the time has passed.

6 moms found this helpful

That is so funny! My 3 year old girl tells me, "I like your big boobies mama!" Or "here, let me wash your bo-bo." or "I don't have hair on my bo-bo yet." Lol. It can get uncomfortable at times, but I just try to re-direct.
But, if your husband is uncomfortable, it's his call. Nothing wrong with your son or husband at all, just a matter of being comfortable.

6 moms found this helpful

If your husband feels uncomfortable then it's no longer appropriate. PERIOD.

Yes, it's cute and funny what he said - but it sounds like your husband would would like your son to retain some innocence of youth.....I am with your husband.

5 moms found this helpful

Whether or not we think it's inappropriate doesn't really matter. Dad is uncomfortable. Looks like bathtime will be baths and paints from now on!

4 moms found this helpful

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