Family Traditions - Saint Louis,MO

I totally love and respect family traditions!
But believe me, with my brother in law it is definitely his ego. He makes a huge exhibition at family functions. Not only does he not share his recipes, he brings his own special equipment, including a special salad stand for his "famous" Caesar salad, lol!
My father in law was a professional chef, and the extended family is very large and we all love to cook and eat. When he was still alive he was the one we called upon when we were having trouble in the kitchen. He was always very open and generous with his advice. Yet, even if we followed his directions word for word, it never quite tasted the same. There is something to be said for years of experience, and I still miss working with him in the kitchen :(
So, when someone comments to me OMG this is so good my first instinct is to say, oh I'll email you the recipe! That's just my personality, I feel like I'm spreading the love, and continuing in the generous spirit of my FIL :)
Cooking certainly is a very personal experience, isn't it?

Why did you start your own thread instead of posting in the thread you are referring to? The poster asked an honest question and asked for honest answers. I think you could have said what you said here in the other thread just as easily :-)

And she was asking why a family member was keeping a family recipe from another family member not why she was keeping it from a friend or acquaintance.

We make snow sandwiches , when it snows here (which is almost as rare as lemonade in hell) My family and I hold bread under the snow and eat it like it was jelly. Dont know when this started, but we do.

We have traditional things at meals too, no thanksgiving is complete without lemon meringue pie(my g-mas recipe that we kindly share) broccoli rice casserole and deviled eggs

I LOVE MARY J'S ATTITUDE.....IF WE ALL SHARED HER ATTITUDE, THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE.

Mary J, I know what you mean about the FRIED CHICKEN...man my mom's was the best fried chicken...hot or cold, it was still tasty and crunchy! HOW DID SHE DO THAT? This question is comming from, what many consider, a good cook (I own a catering business). I've come close, but Mom's fried chicken was the best, best, best....If I could perfect, I would share share share.

Blessings...

If any of you Mom's know....PLEASE SHARE

I think you are over reacting.....If you want to keep it to yourself, leave the "secret" ingrediant out, say it isn't written out, or say we don't give it out period.

If someone likes something that you cook and wants the receipe, it isn't an insult, it is a compliment. Personally, there are so many sauce receipes on line no one outside your family needs your's.

Blessings.....

Well J.. I understand where you are coming from. I don't agree, but I understand.

It all depends on how giving or selfish you are.

A successful marriage is a family tradition and the ways to do it are special and as much a "family secret" as are your recipes. I expect to be married until I die. I hope that will be after 50 years, but maybe not. I share those "family secrets" here on mamapedia when ever possible.

I have won some cooking contests with my chili recipe that I "invented". I've shared it here. Its a process, but its also a recipe that almost anyone with attenton to detail could follow. I share the joy.

And I can understand why someone would feel insulted. Your were criticized. I feel you were wrong too. Almost anyone that is wrong and it is pointed out to them feels "insulted." Its human nature.

You said, "I would gladly take anyone into my kitchen and teach them just as my grandma taught me." If that is true, give me a way to contact you and I'll be there when I am enroute to visit my son in North Dakota. I love to cook and would like to learn how to make your pasta sauce.

Good luck to you and yours.

J., I COMPLETELY agree with you!

My grandpa was a baker and caterer--He operated his own biz out of an historic mansion in Minnesota (the main biz was wedding receptions.) He raised and housed 8 kids in this mansion, and everyone helped out. His recipes are safeguarded by my mom and her siblings. The recipes are treasures, and my aunts and uncles are more than happy to prepare the food for others, but they represent decades of his blood, sweat, and tears and trial and error and no one is prepared to just hand them over for mass consumption (and possible financial exploitation.)

Some day I hope to be passed on his recipe for German potato salad and also his chocolate sauce. YUMMMY. I would never bother my aunts or uncles to just hand them over to me. It is understood that as my aunts and uncles advance in age, they will choose one of their children to entrust them to.

I am number 9 of 9 and missed out on a lot of family cooking. Always to young. But you need to think that we teach our kids to share so as adults, really who cares if someone has your "secret" or not. WOW. my mom made the absolutely best fried chicken ever. I mean really. I watched her but I dont know what the heck she did. My sister could mimic the fried chicken. Tasted just like moms. Well my mom past away 11yrs ago. And my sister last year. So now nothing never will have that taste again. OOOOOO to bad we didnt pass that on. I asked my mom one time about her famous meatballs, they were the best, she says, better crocker. HA. i get to make those all the time. And they taste the same. YAY ME!!!!! I have made her homemade spaghetti sauce and it tasted the same. AAAAhhhhh something of my moms. YAY. I would be glad to share a little bit of my mom with anyone. I LOVED HER SO MUCH>

J. W, I can totally understand your feelings about making meals as a family. But can YOU understand, that maybe someone just might LOVE your cooking, and want to mimick it? I find it odd that you chose the words highly insulting, when someone asks you for a recipe. I would find that it would be a great compliment!! Just a thought. We do not have any cooking traditions such as yours, in our family. But of course we all love to cook, and reminisce (sp?) about the wonderful recipes that we have used throughout the years.

I still don't agree with you. Sorry....

How nice that you cooked and gardened with your Grandma. What sweet memories, that most likely today's modern woman probably does not have.

I think cooking is a cultural event, not just a family affair. As foods were only available regionally until very recently.

I also don't think any housewife asking for a tasty recipe is seeking financial exploitation.

I have a brother who is a professional chef, graduated from the famous Paris cooking school, Le Cordon Bleu and we share recipes and cooking tips all the time. He served my famous Pacific NW Grilled Salmon at a huge New Years Eve party. I am more than flattered by his request.

Given the short amount of time we are here on this earth, sharing family favorite recipes with loved ones seems normal. Hiding them seems abnormal to me in every regard. It actually dishonors the life and memory of the one's who have gone before us. We come into this world with nothing and leave with nothing - yes, even recipes.

Also, this recipe hoarding is certainly an American thing, or immigrant to America thing. I have never met a Korean or Chinese or Middle Eastern or Indian cook who told me their recipes were a secret.

*Edit* This recipe discussion got me thinking about many traditions that are passed down. I wonder if I could apply this recipe hoarding to other family talents? Say music. What if all musicians decided not to share their musical talent with anyone outside their families? That those non-musically gifted people could never enjoy another favorite song, as they couldn't go home and replay it. They wouldn't have the ear. Or artists wouldn't share their art. Or writers wouldn't share their stories? Or doctors wouldn't share their successful treatments? The list goes on....

I think what you're talking about is completely different than people intentionally refusing a recipe to their OWN FAMILY (which was that original post) or intentionally leaving out O. ingredient!

Peanut butter on pancakes, waffles and french toast...

My mom was raised as the baby of six in the mid-west during the depression, peanut butter was cheap and healthy.

My husband thinks it's disgusting.

I've not read the keeping secrets one yet...I'll get there...

I lovingly share my recipes as well as my family - it's wonderful when someone likes what we cook and wants to try it for themselves!!!!

Yes. Yes we do have a family tradition that others might not understand. When it pours, the whole family rips off our clothes and dances in the rain.

I'm sure there's others. There is always a traditional Christmas present 'hoarder' on Christmas morning who traditionally gets flack. He died this year, so someone else will be doing the hoarding this year.

There's our traditional family 'Mothers' Day Race' which involves everyone, young old, human, animal, running around in different directions, cheating, tripping and declaring themselves the winner.

We're good at a lot of things, my family, but not the cooking thing! Doesn't mean we're not loving, together and wonderful.

Unfortunately I do not have any memories of cooking with my grandmothers. One was really into health food with trendy gadgets by the time I was old enough to cook. Freezer full of grains, electric grinder, and bread machine. Chicken cooked in an electric convection oven. My other grandmother talked about classic southern food like biscuits, but I never got to watch her make them because she was too weak. I got 2 of her rolling pins when she died, and some of her recipes I learned from my dad. Cornbread and salmon croquettes are my favorites. I don't know if the other things are really even recipes, like canned pineapple with mayo and shredded cheese on top or sharp cheddar cheese and mustard on crackers. Must be another one of those Depression things.

I always feel it's a nice compliment when someone asks me for a recipe. I'm certainly not insulted in the least. Most people wouldn't be insulted, so if someone asks you for a recipe I am 100% certain, they are not trying to be rude. Just simply say you don't have the exact measurements, but thanks for asking and glad they enjoyed the food. ;) I always cooked with my grandma and my mom. It was a lot of fun and was a nice bonding experience. We did do homemade pasta sauce too. I can't tell you the recipe. I just know we threw in some stuff. Since I really CAN'T remember, I've started a new tradition and the recipe is as follows: find whatever is on sale, unscrew cap, dump in pan, heat through. LOL!!