Family Parties Vs. Friend Parties

We do our parties all at once. It doesn turn up being a huge party but the more the better. My daughter loves all the attention and everyone has people to talk to.

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Ok, This weekend I am having a Bar-B- Que party at my house. It happens to be my sons 12th birthday and on the 11th is my other son will be 4 so we are combining birthdays. We invited all family and friends. I am looking at about 42+ adults not to mention the children. I have requested the family help out with the food. They are each bringing a covered dish to go with the meat we are cooking. Do a pinata instead of treat bags. Buy the bags if you want for them to put pinata stuff in. I just use zip locks so they can seal it up and use a sharpie to put their names on them. We shut the bedroom doors and put all toys away we do not want everyone to play with but load the back yard with balls and things they can play outside with. I have found it is harder to organize group games and take the kids away from playing together then just letting them play. We set up the living room with gift table and do gifts in there so we can shoo the kids back outside to prevent gifts from being broken before the reciever can even play with them. Keep it simple and enjoy

We alternate every year. Grandparents still come to the friend's party though. We like it this way for several reasons. One, because it doesn't get too big, and also, the kids don't get TONS of presents each year.

The first time I did a friend party and didn't invite the grandparents, I had a lot of upset people on my hands. I didn't invite them thinking I was doing them a favor and instead I had emails and calls about how I didn't consider their feelings. Now I invite them all to every party and let them deside if they want to attend. If it's possible, I suggest just inviting grandparents but not other relatives.

Good Luck!

I invite everyone that I would like to have come, and expect about 1 in 4. It's standard at three that the parents would still come, whether you 'invite' them or not. Just serve cheap food - like Kool Aid and Cake, and plan on a lot of time outside if you get more than a houseful.

I FTR love to have adult family members around - mine help. They help serve, help corral kids, and help clean up.

S.

Hi V.,
My twins will be 6 in a couple of weeks. My husband & I grew up in the same town, in which most of our family still lives. We have a "get-together" at the park in our hometown every year for family only. We make it real simple...cake, kites, bubbles, etc. We also have a party where we live for friends or any family that couldn't make it to the other one. The important things is that you don't stress about bday parties or count who shows up! It's about celebrating the birth of your child with the family & friends that are available for the time you choose & the place you've designated. Family is too important to not invite to this celebration. Just see it as a geat way to get everyone together!

Good luck!

Could you rotate and do a party at home one year, and then go to grandma's house the next year? That's what we used to do for Christmases growing up, and it was fine.
I personally wouldn't mind having family and friends show up. I had about 40+ guests for my son's first birthday party. The difference between his party and a lot of others we've attended: instead of paying for a place that limits how many you can invite, or what they can do, and buying gift bags and favors and all that, we rented a nice ampitheater at a park with a nice little playground, that also has a little spray park, had access to LOTS folding chairs and tables, and private bathrooms for like $100 for 4 hours. (That gave us time for the men to set up tables/chairs while the women laid out the buffet and gift table). We brought a stereo, had a pull string pinata, and a few games planned for the bigger kids, but don't can't remember if we even did them or not. I spent like $80 on food (we made a his cake, jambalaya which was AWESOME, white beans, made my own veggie tray, bought some french bread, and friends brought drinks-waters, sodas, juices-people actually stood in line for leftovers to take home!)We had so much fun just visiting, watching the children run and play, remeniscing about what all's happened in a year, played, etc). It ended up being much longer than expected. We had plenty of help: the men put up the chairs/tables, someone else swept up real quick, someone else took the bags of trash out, etc. We closed up the ampitheater as the contract agreed, and just stepped over to the park and continued hanging out. I did schedule the party right after his regular nap, and his grandma watched him while we set up. I sent Joseph home for his bath and to rest up with grandma as we hung out a little longer because noone wanted to go. It's just once a year, and instead of buying material stuff, we just made it all about loving on everyone. Whatever you do, I hope you have a good time! We would do that EVERY year if we could get people together...that party had people from Ca, Ga, Al, La, and Tx, old soccer buddies, highschool friends, family, aquaintances, some peoples' dates, all their kids, "whoever". Throwing some hotdogs on a grill is also a cheap way to feed lots of kids if they're not into jambalaya. (Louisiana kids are ALLLLLL into it though) :)

Hey V., I love your name! Mine is A.

When my kids were very small we didn't live near extended family. When we moved closer I think we did a combination of things. We had some friends only parties. But we also usually had something with the extended family - less like a party, more like a potluck or going out to eat.

With the friends-only parties, we usually kept it rather small - a good guideline I've heard is to invite as many guests as the child is old!

If you have a very large extended family, maybe y'all could decide to do a quarterly party celebrating all the birthdays for that 3 month period together and the location could rotate homes? No gifts? Or gifts for children up to a certain age, but focus on making fun memories after that? I'm thinking of how expensive it is to buy gifts for extended family.

You might want to look back in the Mamasource records if you want ideas for party themes. There have been some very creative fun things mentioned!

Only an idea!

A.

For some reason, I've fretted over this every year too. I always say I'm going to make it a smaller party and end up inviting EVERYONE. I can tell you that I've never regretted it! This past year, my son son turned 5. We had more games and activities planned for a friend party. I just put on the invite to aunts, uncles, etc., that the "kiddie" stuff would be winding down around such and such time. It really worked out well. My son had a great time with his friends. Most of the relatives showed up around opening the gifts/cake time. Most of his friends left after that and family stuck around and we ordered pizza. It worked out really well. The only thing I've ever really regretted regarding my son's parties, is stressing over silly things and not just enjoying the celebration. Try to relax and enjoy the fun!

I had family only parties until my oldest was 4 and then began inviting friends and family. We don't have a lot of family near and we have the party at a location instead of our home. It costs more, but it is well worth it to us not to have to clean up and have our house be a mess.

My opinion is to include everyone by either combining family and friends or doing something seperately. I'm pretty sure that the grandparents would love to celebrate their precious granddaughter's birthday, too. They are normally a little more understanding as the kids get older because it eventually becomes focused around their friends only. Right now is probably the easiest time to include grandparents/aunt/uncles, etc. Believe me, grandma and grandpa probably won't get too excited about going to a skating rink with a bunch of noisy kids all over the place. There will most likely be a time that this isn't an issue anymore. Good luck! :)

Hi V..

There is no way that you could tell family that they can't come to your daughters birthday party. Have you considered that not everyone you invite will show up? You may invite 30 people + their kids, but not every person will be able to attend so it should be easier to manage than you are anticipating it to be. My mom and sister would be so hurt if I did not invite either of them to my daughter's birthday party. I would not even think about not inviting them (I actually want them to be part of my daugthers mile-stones). Once your daughters get older, you can just invited your daughters friends (no adults) and it is okay. But for a 3 year old....family is a must!

We are in the same situation...we have LOTS of relatives who all live VERY close. If we did not invite them to our birthday parties they would be very upset. There are children the same age as mine and while they are all very close, sometimes my boys want to invite someone else.

So we have done several things. When I'm having a friend party, I usually have a family dinner. Not really a party, just everyone over for a big dinner, sing happy birthday, have cake. Then we make sure to have the friend party AFTER the dinner so it isn't a topic of conversation.

The other thing I've done is just regularly rent the local skating rink and invite the entire world. That is always fun. And we have the rink play big band music while we are there so the music pleases everyone (big band music is fun to skate too!)

Good luck. Some times I dread the birthdays because I think, "Stink! I'm gonna have to do the dinner AND the party!" but I'm always glad that I do because it keeps the extended family close to get together regularly.

In the long run, I've been very blessed by it.
V.

I don't know how helpful this will be to you but maybe it will spark an idea that will work for you. We have 4 kids and a ton of family that live very close. We decided that we would have family party's, with an occasional friend, until the child started kindergarten. Then we would have friend parties. Family is always welcome to stop by and drop of a gift or just simply wish the birthday child Happy Birthday. We told the family very casually that this is what we are doing and no one seemed to be hurt. Actually I think they were kinda releived since there are 9 grandkids in my family. Good Luck to you!

We combine them most years unless the theme does not allow for a house full of people (like my daugther's party that had 6 kids and 6 craft stations on rotation). The party list this year has 40 people on it because we try to combine our kids' parties too since they are all 3 within a month of Christmas. It's fun and worth the noise level of a house full of people for a couple of hours.

I do something similiar to what Lee does. I have twins, and their birthday is less than 3 weeks before my birthday. So every year at the house I throw a "Bounce House, Bar-B-Q, & Beer Party." I just do burgers and hotdogs, chips and dip, and cut fruit (apples, oranges, and grapes). We always do a pinata, so that takes care of having to do goody bags. We end up with 20-30 kids and as many adults. They just arrive throughout different times.

The kids' friends arrive at 4pm and are mostly gone by 6pm. My friends (w/o kids) start showing up around 5pm so they can see the candles being blown out and the birthday presents being opened. Then it ends up being a small group of kids and adults until 8-9pm.

Perhaps you can kind of split it up the same way so that you don't have so many people at one time. Of course, you can also boot them out earlier too if you want. :)

I am a grandmother to 3 boys, ages 5,8 & 10. For years we have done a family party at a child friendly restaurant. (We love Trail Dust) Then a party for their friends!! It works out great for us!!

We usually have separate parties. A friend party where we focus on playing and having fun with friends. And then we have a family party on a separate day. This is usually a lunch or dinner with cake and of course presents. We don't have any young relatives who live close by so the family party consists of aunts, uncles, and grandma.

This gives our son two times when he can enjoy and celebrate his birthday.

Last year, the friend party was low key. He invited his neighbor and we went to a local fall festival that took place around the same time as his birthday. He and his friend had a blast and we didn't spend a lot of money.

Good luck!

I would stick with the friend party...if you are really having it for your daughter then quit worrying about pleasing everyone. Stick with number of her age plus one more for guests and let HER have fun with her friends. Suggest another outing with the grandparents/family like the zoo or a fun restuarant outing. Stick to your guns now or this will be an every year ordeal. Maybe you could suggest the grands have a party for her at their house!

This is good for Chuck E Cheese or Going Bonkers. The kids can play and the adults can sit at the table and talk. Usually you pay for the kids' food and the cake and the adults can get their own if they want something.

Ok I have never seperated my family and friends parties. We have always combined the two and have never had any problems. I can remember when my son turned 3 we had a huge party with about 50 adults and about 20-30 adults. We had a great time. My only thing is to make sure that there are plenty of things for the kids to do. at that party we had a clown for about 1-1/2 hours and then we had ice cream sundaes with all the toppings. That was kind of crazy, but the kids loved it. Then last year, we got smart and bought a large water park thing, and at the last party all the littler kids played on that- just make sure everyone brings towels and suits. So If I were you I would combine everyone and that way family and friends get to know each other and you have all the people that mean the most to you in one place and not worry about what other people say. good luck!!

I've had trouble with this since my daughter was born. She just turned 7 yesterday and it will be 3 parties this year. Her dad's family has 25-30 people in it (6 kids, 6 spouses, 13 grandkids, Nana and always a couple of extras). We usually get together at a aunt's house so there's just not room for friends. My house isn't any better. If her birthday were later in the spring or summer, we could do a park or even outside at our house but you just don't know how the weather will be. When her birthday is in the middle of the week, we have a cake for her,just immediate family. We usually go to a bounce house for friends and invite all the family but most of the cousins are too old and we will get together at the aunts house anyway. This year we had just school friends at our house on Sunday (11 friends + her) and cake last night and will be at aunt's house on Saturday. My husband gripes about the parties but what can you do? Stuff the house with everybody or just not invite them? Hope you figure out what what to do.

I am pretty sure the Grandparents would have their feelings hurt to not even be invited!! JMO I would invite everyone or on-one at all. :O)