Family Bed - Kalamazoo,MI

I am very pro-AP parenting but co-sleeping and a family bed was never for me. My son wanted to practically crawl back into my womb since the day he was born so I had him right next to me for 4 months. I could never truly relax with him there though. It was only at 4 months when I moved him to his crib that everyone slept through the night. We have sepperate rooms and beds but if he calls out to me at night I will go in there and sleep in his bed. I also stay with him every night until he goes to sleep. He is 4 and this all is fine with everyone.

Never was able to sleep well with my kids in bed. We all seemed to sleep better apart. With the exception of my youngest who I slept with often in her first year of life. She slept better, but not me.

I do not know the reason behind people doing that...and I don't care to. I will tell you this...that many people in one bed...not fun. Not only that, when it is time to transition them...it can be a complete nightmare. I babysat for a couple who did the cosleep thing. They had a little extension put on the side of their bed for their daughter. She was 4 yrs old and was unable to fall asleep by herself, even during nap time. Putting her to bed at night when I watched her was extremely difficult. Not only that, there was so much tension between her parents because although they agreed on it in the beginning, the husband didn't want to continue after a certain stage and the mother refused to stop.

Also you and your husband would really need to discuss the possible affect it could have on intimacy between you two.

Everyone must do what is best for their family, if you think this is best for you then go for it...but I assure you, your children will turn out just fine if they do not cosleep.

Nope. Didn't co-sleep either.
It didn't fit our family or lifestyle.

Our kids went into their own crib in their own room the day they came home from the hospital. I nursed them both just fine, but going to them and using the glider rocker next to their crib, then going back to my bed after. I had a good monitor, and I heard them at the slightest noise. I turned off the monitor and went to the nursery, then turned it back on when I returned to my bed.

I am (and was) a SAHM, and my husband "brings home the bacon". He has a high stress job, and can't do his job well (or safely--for others' sake) if he doesn't get a good nights sleep. It was never an issue or a question for us.
And our kids were sleeping champs and still are. They are very well balanced emotionally, too. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing.

No, I didn't have "the family bed". I couldn't imagine the grief I would go through if one of my children died because I fell asleep on him.

I have seen so many people come on this site for advise on how to get their kids out of their bed. Kids who kick, who try to lay sideways, moms who write about their husbands leaving the room to go sleep somewhere else, moms who don't have a sex life. They are all desperate to find out how to undo what they did when they thought it was sweet and easy.

I have read posts here from women who staunchly stand by sleeping together in the same bed, which if it works for them is nice, but they aren't the ones desperate for a night of sleep and won't come over and help these women out.

So even long after my kids were little, I think from seeing what is talked about on this site that I feel even MORE sure that the family bed is not a good idea. And of course, that is MY opinion and not the opinion of those families who sleep together and like it that way.

Dawn

Yes we have a family bed, I must admit that I miss sex in my bed. However there are plenty I other places in the house for that. I've had 3 kids and they all have slept in the bed most nights. My oldest was hardest to get out, my middle child was easy. My third child is a baby still.

I usually try to start the transition around 2, but no pressure.

I'm a proud and confident co sleeper.

The very phrase "family bed" just makes me shudder! I have what I call washing machine kids. They act just like that in bed, turning over and over and over... Then FLING! out comes an arm across your nose, or THWACK! Yes that would be a heel in your groin. Nope, no sir. Don't know how anyone can do the (shudder) family bed.

Yes. It works for our family. She's 5.5 and no plans to move her.

The more I hear about different family arrangements (sleep or otherwise), the funnier the judgment of other's sleeping styles becomes.

Our grand kids slept in their beds from a young age. They were in baby beds until about 15 months and went to toddler beds. By the time they were 2 or 2 1/2 they were in big kids beds. Both went to twins at first but the girl needed to have a bigger bed to keep her off the floor. She sleeps like her mom, all over the bed.

Last night the 8 yr. old girl came in to snuggle then about 15 minutes later the 5 yr. old boy came in too. They were both snuggled up to my hubby and back asleep in moments. I slept on the couch. There just isn't room in the queen size bed for 4. If I had already been in bed sleeping they would have been sandwiched between us. This is not a nightly thing but it is not something I will ever fight with them about.

I don't think anything of it. If they need a snuggle they need a snuggle. Don't you even just need a hug? Kids need triple more hugs than we do.

I love the time we have where they still want to be with us. Soon enough they will be off doing things with friends and not need us anymore.

We haven't transitioned yet, so we don't know exactly what to expect. It started because my husband would bring the newborn to bed with him. Then, I had to nurse and was exhausted. Once he got big enough for me to nurse him lying down...oh, that was heaven!! I didn't have to sit up anymore. From that point on, his place was next to me at night. Sometimes he sleeps in the middle. Sometimes I sleep in the middle. Baby's room is upstairs from us, and we didn't realize just how far that is until we brought him home. We'll put him up there when we think we're ready. He might be 18yo by then. Oh, well....

I did when both my kids were infants...but then we made a gradual move to their own beds around age 1-2. My daughter is 2 and a half and is doing great sleeping in her own "big girl bed" now. When they were so young it was nice to have them close by because they both woke up a lot at night. Also, they both seemed to take great comfort in being next to me. I did not do family bed constantly though - for example, plenty of nights after our daughter fell asleep I'd move her to her crib. So, I guess we are a hybrid family. ;) I am a light sleeper and there is no way I'd want older children in bed with me! That would drive me nuts! I don't know how some people do it.

We kind of fell in to a semi-co-sleeping habit when our oldest was 3 months old. I had really wanted him to sleep in his crib, but I hadn't anticipated how hard putting him back into the crib might be. He seemed to wake up every time I tried to put him back after feeding him. I learned how to nurse lying down and found out that was a lifesaver for me. I would latch him on and go back to sleep. When he woke up again to eat I latched him on and went back to sleep. It was wonderful. Thus began the habit of keeping him in our bed after the first feeding of the night. Best thing I ever did, as I finally got some sleep!

We have almost always had the boys begin the night in their own bed. That's been good for us, as it does allow us some alone time. Some days it's the only alone time we get :-) If one of the boys has any trouble sleeping in the middle of the night, they just climb into our bed. Luckily we have a king size bed. My husband and I like it because we really want the boys to know that we are there for them, no matter what hour it is.

It probably helps us a lot that they begin the night in their own bed. We really do want them to know that they can come to us at night for whatever reason - bad dream, feeling sick, just needing to snuggle - we're there for them and wouldn't have it any other way.

Didn't co sleep with my first 3 except to put them in my bed for nursing but once they fell asleep, back to their crib/bed they went. My 4th baby is 12 months old and we co sleep some nights. I love it sometimes, other times not so much. I love having my baby close to me. I can hear her breathing, she curls up to my body and I love that feeling of closeness with her. However, sometimes she moves around too much and can be disruptive for my own sleep. If I wasn't breastfeeding her, I probably wouldn't co sleep at all but it makes nursing during the night much easier for me. It's not for everyone, and it's a personal decision that other people really shouldn't be criticizing others for doing. What works for you is right for you.

We always had a king sized water bed, there was plenty of room for the kiddos.
I did however put them immediately in their own crib when they came home from the hospital. They didnt start sleeping with us full time until they were old enough to get out of there bed and come into our room.

my daughter was a reflux baby and thus the bad habits began! She screamed for the first 6 months 24/7 if she wasnt nursing, so it was either cosleep of sleep standing up feeding her and risk dropping her. After that she was J. very stuborn and I was too tired to fight. She sleeps in her own bed but somehow at 5 still migrates to mine at 4am when I'm too tired to care

I don't, because I have a queen sized bed and two kids that somehow end up taking up more room than my partner and I!
I will say, though, that I LOVE snuggling with my kids, and if my partner is away on business, I usually end up "treating" my 4 year old to a night sleeping in Mama's bed because I hate sleeping alone.

The only time we had family beds was during vacations when hotel rooms were expensive... HECK NO!

It would be impossible to have an intimate relationship with my husband if we had a family bed. I guess people either don't have a problem having sex with kids sleeping next to them, severely limit their sexual frequency, or sneak away to another room...

Secondly, the few times I've had kids in bed with me when traveling... no one got any sleep, we kept bumping into each other, falling out of bed, etc...

I know some mom's find it helpful to nurse baby in bed. I get that, but having a crib pulled up to the bed is very helpful without having baby in with you. And at some point its nice for baby to learn to sleep in their own room. I know many families who struggled to get baby OUT of their bed once nursing was complete. I know families who just make a bed on the floor in their room for a child up until school age because child is scared to sleep alone. Sleep independence is a wonderful gift to give your child at a young age, it blesses them and the WHOLE family.

The BEST advice I got when I was first pregnant was to put them to bed AWAKE and in their own cribs. I did that and had AWESOME sleepers, they are now 12 and 9 and still sleep good and have never fought me about going to sleep. The first day home from the hospital they napped and slept in their own cribs in their own rooms. My daughter slept straight thru 12 hours from the first night home, my son it took a week after waking at 1:30am for a feeding and then he started sleeping 12 hours straight also. I'm an extremly light sleeper and didn't want to share my bed! Good luck!