FAM Birth Control - Does Anyone Use This Method?

Updated on April 22, 2010
M.B. asks from New Haven, CT
12 answers

I recently bought "Taking Charge of your Fertility" and it talks about FAM (fertility awareness method) birth control. Do any of you ladies use this method?

I've been on the BC pill for what seems like forever. I didn't realize how badly the side effects get to me until I had kids and was off of BC from the time we tried to conceive to a few months post partum. I really want to get off the pill, and I don't like the idea of depo or IUD, but I need to do something or I'll end up preggo w/in a month!! (I got pregnant on the first try for both of our boys).

For those of you that use this method - was it hard to get into the swing of things? did you buy a special thermometer? any suggestions/tips? and most importantly - DOES IT WORK???

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

we used this method for the opposite reason - trying to get pregnant - but i've heard it works well for either reason!

I used a great website - www.fertilityfriend.com - to track everything... it also has great information that goes along with the "Taking Charge" book...

i used the special basal body thermometer - but it was really cheap and they have it at any drug store. its nice because its more specific and mine saved the last temp so that if i took it and fell back asleep i didn't have to worry... it becomes so routine after a while... it wasn't too hard to get in the swing of it.

That all being said - nothing is every 100% effective, not even BC... but i think this method is pretty close if you follow it strictly!!

Good luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I have not used this method or learned it in detail. I can usually tell from my cervical mucus if I am ovulating. I went off the pill 8 years ago when I got married and now just spermicide. I now have two children spaced 3 years apart (almost exactly what we planned except I conceived a few months sooner than expected with the second). I have nothing against the various natural family planning methods but it is nice to have a backup handy.

Years ago in college I used to do birth control education presentations and was a teaching assistant for the Human Sexuality class so I am pretty familiar with birth control options (expcept very new ones). Some other non hormone methods include a diaphram or cervical cap with spermicide, the sponge (which has it's own spermicide), male and female condoms, spermicide foams/creams/jellies, and various types of IUD (some with hormones and some without). Of the things I have tried just spermicide is easy but is less reliable than some of the others and is a great back up for if a condom breaks. Spermicide used with a diaphram, cervical cap or condom is more reliabe but a little more effort. The diaphram, cervical cap and sponge do require taking things in and out which gets easier with practice. I had a diaphram but it tended to contribute to my getting bladder infections (a pre-existing problem). Female condoms are awkward to use but good for disease prevention. Male condoms many men don't like and they occasionally break or slip off but are very effective (almost as effective as the pill) when used with spermicide and are excellent at stopping sexually transmitted diseases. I am not that informed on IUDs although there seem to be some good new ones (the most problematic ones were pulled off the market back in the 1970's). I am not an expert on using natural family planning but using a backup method until you are confident in using it may be wise. Spermicides and sex in general might make it more complicated to accurately observe cervical mucus.

I don't know if all that information will help you. I figured it might help in making a well informed decision on birth control to know what is available.

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E.C.

answers from New York on

I don't know about FAM. But Billings Method (buy book on amazon) works perfectly (99 per cent effective - better than IUD and as well as pill) and is totally natural. Not hard to figure out and it's not counting days - just looking at your body's signs - mucus. Amazing! We've used it for 10 years to conceive and not conceive.

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J.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

It depends how well your body is at communicating. I can feel when I'm ovulating and the mucus is very evident when I'm fertile. I got pregnant with no problem when I wanted to and there have been no surprises. Everyone is different though. I'm just very predictable.

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R.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

My husband and I have tried various forms of FAM since we've been married (almost seven years now) and LOVE it. (By various forms, I mean charting temperatures or cervical fluid, or a combination of both, etc.) I've never had to be on any hormones, always hated condoms, and feel totally empowered because I know how my body works better than I ever had before. Like one commenter said already, though, the one "kink" in the plan is that it does require self-control and the cooperation of your husband. :) My husband is totally supportive of NFP (natural family planning, the acronym I'm more used to using) but sometimes we both lack the self control to practice it well. Hence, Baby Number One was conceived about 18 months after we'd been married. :) We planned Baby Number Two when our first son was 2.5 years old and it took us only two months to conceive. Then Baby Number Three, due any day now!, came along 10 months after our daughter was born -- not completely unexpectedly but again because we were being lax on the rules. :) However, our commitment to NFP also has an element of trust that, ultimately, God's in charge. If we're going to conceive, it's a blessing and God's timing. So we're okay with that "risk." And it's probably why we're not always 100% cautious. :)

All that said, again, you don't deal with the hormones. It IS effective when the rules are followed. And I find it can strengthen your sexual relationship with your husband in many ways. I've been both a practitioner and an instructor, and in both capacities I've seen this happen. Many couples are wary of the periods of "abstinence" that NFP requires during fertile times, but I've found them, frankly, to be a nice little reprieve each month and my husband makes them extra special by "courting" me more during that time... leading to a honeymoon effect, of sorts, when the fertile time is past. (Also, there are other romantic things you can do during that time! ;))

Currently, (well we're pregnant, but before and after this pregnancy, lol) we're practicing the Ovulation Method by Family of the Americas (familyplanning.net, I think) and it charts only cervical fluid. For me, this is the least hassle and equally as effective as charting temperatures had been. I've had many couples start out doing both, for their peace of mind. Problem with temperatures is that the rules for taking and recording them are very regimented: same time every day, must get at least 4 hours of sleep prior to taking, etc. Requires some ability with averages and chart interpretation. :) But it tends to make men more comfortable because it's less "subjective" than just relying on the woman's private observations of cervical secretions. And in those first few months of learning (wherein I usually recommend at least one month of complete abstinence to be safe) it does help the woman to feel more confidence in her own observations as well.

If you decide to do it, find a good instructor, who is willing to look at your charts with you monthly and go over the rules a few times (you'll need a couple reminders at first) and is available via phone if you have a question. I'd recommend taking your husband with you to the training session (if you can find one) so he is on board and understands how it works. Also, make sure you've figured out some way to communicate with one another when you're (potentially) fertile and not, so you can make plans :) ... I had a client who put a little desk ornament on her husband's desk. On one side it said "Love me" (for the times when she was not fertile) and on the other side it said "Love my dog" (for the times when she was fertile). :)

And, yes, by the way, you will need a special thermometer if you decide to chart temperatures: basal thermometer, but basically, any digital thermometer that gives you to the tenth of a degree will work. I think the "distinction" is about accuracy and can be a leftover from the days of mercury thermometers where it was hard to get the tenth degree.

And, also, yes, it can take some time to "trust the method." Give yourself at least a month of abstinence to chart without worry, maybe more. But the fact is, it'll take several months of "hey, it worked! we're NOT pregnant!" for you to start to feel comfortable about it. :) It is a leap of faith, truly, and requires some diligence on your part, both in charting and in following rules. But I think it's absolutely worth it!

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R.S.

answers from New York on

It has worked very well for us. We did not take any class -- we just read the taking charge of your fertility book. from cover to cover, "practiced" for a few months while using condoms, and then forged ahead. I love not being on the pill and not having to use condoms (unless we decide we want to have fun during the "fertile" time in which case we just use condoms then). I use a regular digital thermometer. It is great if you can get one that stores the temperature so that you don't need to write the number down right away. Because my toddler still does not sleep through the night, I sometimes find it hard to get the 4 hours of consecutive sleep I need to before taking my temperature so I don't take it every day. Still, I take my temperature enough to make sure there is a rise before we are "safe" and I rely a lot on checking cervical fluid. Although some people have said you need to take your temperature at the same time every day, there actually is a correction factor you can use if you take your temp at a different time -- it is described in the TCOYF book. Good luck with it!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

k

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J.H.

answers from New York on

I know you said you are against an IUD, but have you thought about the copper one rather than Mirena? It lasts longer (up to 10 yrs) and has NO hormones. I've had mine for 5 years now and I LOVE not having to worry about birth control. My periods are a bit heavier, but to me it has been totally worth it.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi Mandy,
Yes, it works. Unfortunately, the way it works is to deprive you of intimacy when you are most likely to be in a heightened state of interest in the month. : ( Bad for you and your husband.
I totally understand about BCPills. They are abortifacient anyway, which means that one of the ways it works is to cause a fertilized egg to not implant in your uterus, which is effect, causing an abortion (it is not the primary way it works, but one of the backup methods). This is especially true of the low-dose pills. When we found this out, this is when we researched this other method of BC. We now don't use any form of BC because we changed our thoughts on children (we see them as blessings and not curses). The weird thing is that in the 8 years since we have stopped using any BC, we have only been blessed with 2 more babies. We'd love more!! Anyway, rabbit trail. Yes, you need a special thermometer, which you can buy at any drugstore (basil temp thermometer).

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M.I.

answers from New York on

Hi Mandy.
I have the same book - my sister (who used FAM and got pregnant the first time she wanted to) turned me on to this method to get pregnant and take control of my cycle naturally. I have to say I absolutely love it and got pregnant on the 2nd try. I was on the pill for about 16 years (i'm 34) and was so sick of having to take a pill every day and have chemicals in me. I stopped the pill when I was 31 and did the FAM method for a year before I wanted to get pregnant.
I finally, in all my many years of having a period, started to learn about my body, it's changes, and could tell when I was ovulating and when I would get my period (down to the day) absolutely naturally. It was fascinating!
It totally works - and the greatest thing about FAM is that you know when NOT to have unprotected sex, so that you don't get pregnant if you don't want to - and that you know when TO have sex if you want to get pregnant. It's so great.
Read the book, go and get yourself a Basal Temperature Thermometor (it's a specific kind of thermometer, but I think you can get them anywhere - like CVS or Duane Readed, whatever). You have to take your temp at the same time every morning (and you're not supposed to move before you take it - even to pee - because your temp could shift a degree, and you really want to have the most exact reading possible).
Print out a few versions of the chart from the back of the book - or online (I added a few line items to mine and took out a few of theirs) and get charting!
I think it's the best method out there.
Good luck!

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H.A.

answers from Dallas on

http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec22/ch255/ch255b.html This has a chart of various birth control methods and how potentially effective they are, verses the reality in use.

Natural Family Planning is considered about 75% effective in real world use. It has the potential to be 90-99% effective in theory, but the reality is that people make errors, the body can be unpredictable, miscalculations, passion, etc.

It sounds like some families have had great success. I would also recommend talking to your doctor about an IUD. They have some with and without hormones. Even the one with hormones have a MUCH lower dose then taking a pill or a shot.

Good luck :)

T.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

Mandy,
I too am so tired of hormones being in my system. I currently have the Mirena IUD, and I've had some trouble with it, and we are getting it removed soon. I looked at one or two similar methods that you're looking at, and we decided that a barrier method is best for us. I am waiting to be fitted for the Fem Cap. Not sure if you've ever heard of it, but it seems really neat, and with no hormones involved at all. It seems like the happy medium to me, and it contains no latex. Check it out! http://www.femcap.com/
Otherwise, if you try the FAM, please post again and let us know how it's going! I'd love to know.

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