June 24, 2008,
J.F. asks from Geneseo, NY on June 19, 2008
Failed Induction, Baby Wont engage...almost overdue....HELP
I went in on monday for what was supposed to be a routine induction. This is my 4th baby. I was 39weeks 1 day and reason for induction was due to my oldest having a birthday this coming weekend (trying to give them a little space) well, after about 29 hours of Pitocin, 2-3 min contractions, a lot of discomfort and NO sleep, I went from 3cm (where I was when I went in) to 4cm. And stopped. The pitocin wasnt working and I was too tired to go on. I was hoping the dr would just break my water, but the baby's head was "too high" so we risked cord prolapse.
Anyone else have a failed induction?! Or have an issue where the baby wouldnt engage?! I know they say sometimes they dont until you are IN labor, but I have no sure signs labor is coming. I see the dr again on monday when I will be overdue. I am feeling terrible as I cant even plan my daughter's birthday this weekend and her daddy is going to miss a field trip with her next Tuesday if I have not delivered -- and they have been planning the trip for a month. To top it off, her friend party is the 28th and now I am worried I wont even be able to do that for her.
I have been doing pelvic tilts, squats and acupressure, as well as EPO (evening primrose oils) Anyone else have any suggestions?! According to the dr he is trying to come out with his forehead instead of the crown of his head, so I have been trying to manipulate him to move into correct position so they can break my water and let me have him already.
Any suggestions on what may have worked would be great. Thanks
Can I just add I have never met such a group of rude and inconsiderate women in all my life?? I will not be posting here again. I love how you all "know it all" and have the attitude that you do. So nice of you to be so rude to a newcomer for asking a question. And no one said anything about RUSHING Nature. I was simply asking for suggestions more on how to get the baby repositioned so birth could happen naturally. Thank you all for being so judgemental.
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So What Happened?™
I would just like to clarify some things here. FIRST off, the concern surrounding my DD's birthday (which is TOMORROW) is simply that I feel bad. Her party with HER friends is NEXT Saturday, and if I had to reschedule I would feel horrible. Apparently having feelings and expressing them is unacceptable around here. As thats all I was doing. Stating how I feel bad, and go ahead and tell me you wouldnt. There is no chance hubby will go on the field trip if I have not had the baby as he would be an hour away and no means of getting back to me and the trip is from 9am-5pm. And he works from home, so no work is not an issue. But he wont leave me home alone with a 5 year old and no way to get to the hospital either!
I understand not all babies come "on their due date" and many are late. I just never experienced it before. ALL 3 of my kids were early, and to the person who mentioned loss, well, I would know first hand what its like, TRUST ME. I lost our 1 yr old to a rare genetic condition, another baby at 15 weeks to the same condition and we were truly BLESSED to even be expecting this baby and that he is going to be OK and not have the same terminal condition our other 2 boys had. So if anyone knows the meaning of a loss I would be it. Im concerned about other complications, or potential complications and yes, I was just expressing my feelings about how it saddens me that my soon to be 9 year old is trying to be such a grown up about it all but how much hurt I see in her eyes when I cant commit to anything.
I am seeing my Dr today and will discuss the options, and a plan of action. Its HER who will help me best make choices for this baby. I have not had an ultrasound, I have not had a NST I have not had anything to ensure that he is even OK where he is. So please, bear with the fact that I am 40 weeks and hormonal -- I am sure each and every one of you were too at that point. Not to mention, no one knows what is BEST for anyone else. So please, You have your opinions, but it doesnt mean that is what is best for me -- my DR will make that choice.
****Back from the dr and induction has been scheduled for Wed, and if thursday comes and no baby C section. Dr's choice. And to Carol..I got pregnant right after an IUD there was no planning,it just happened - but thanks for your comment.
R.E. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
First I want to send kudos to your doctor for not pushing c/s after the failed induction - so unusual these days. I also want to applaud you for not asking to have c/s after 29 hours of Pit - this tells me you are strong! The thing is, obviously your baby is not ready to come out yet. If she/he was, you would have baby in your arms today.
So what to do now? Go about your normal routine and continue to make plans. With 3 kids you really do not have a choice on that one. If baby comes and "messes up" plans, than so be it. This is the nature of parenting anyway and your other kids will get over the disappointment of things not going as planned. I know this is a hard thing to accept because as a mommy, you want every one of your kids to feel important and supported. I have learned in the past 13 years that they survive these little disappointments AND SO WILL YOU! FYI, my second son was due on my first son's b'day (they are 11 days short of 2 years apart)
Back to baby, first babies generally come into the pelvis before labor begins. Subsequent babies are likely to do so once the labor ball gets rolling. Try to take a walk every day, continue the pelvic tilts (but do them on your hands & knees) and sit on a birth ball & hula hoop it. These things can help baby tuck its chin. Check out this website for help with positioning: www.spinningbabies.com You might want to visit a chiropractor for an adjustment too - sometimes loosening the lower back & pelvic girdle helps baby shift.
Have faith J., everything will work out just fine!
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C.G. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
sorry, i agree with a few of the others. sounds like you are messing with mother nature for your convenience. i would fear jeopardizing my baby's or my own health.
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L.D. answers from Albany on June 20, 2008
I'm sorry you felt like you were being attacked but if you reread your post, the majority of it IS about all the things the new baby's arrival is potentially ruining. I think that is why everyone is kind of surprised.
My third was born last summer 8 days after my middle son's birthday. I didn't want to the boys to have to cancel anything last minute but I wouldn't rush my son either so I had my middle son's party a few weeks before his birthday to be safe. I also didn't schedule my older boys for anything that somebody else couldn't get them to. For instance, they were only taking swimming lessons at that point and we had several friends who went at the same time so they would have had a ride if I couldn't take them.
Find someone who will be on call while your husband goes on the field trip with your daughter unless it is far away. Let your daughter go to her friend's party. I don't understand why that one would be affected anyhow. As for her party, start planning it to take play in a few weeks. It doesn't have to happen on her birthday and at this point, you aren't giving potential guests much notice anyhow.
I agree you are stressing and trying to control mother nature. BTW, again, REREAD YOUR POST. You were NOT simply asking for suggestions on how to get him repositioned so birth could happen naturally. You specifically said you want to manipulate him into a correct position so your water can be broken and you can "have him already".
I'm sorry. You have NO reason to be angry at the posts you are getting. If anything, they should make you realize how you are talking about your unborn child and making him sound like an inconvenience.
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L.D. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
When I was almost a week past due I had an induction that also failed. my water never broke, and once the dr did it for me she discovered the baby's head was high, etc. As he baby's vitals were weakening, they opted to do an emergency c-section. We discovered the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around her neck which is why she didn't come out on her own.
I'm surprised they tried an induction and let you leave the hospital after it failed. I delivered in NYC and they won't do that. Once you've committed to a direction the baby's coming out! But honestly I wouldn't try to dicate your baby's birth time/date based on party schedules. The baby may be in some kind of distress and needs to come out another way.
D.D. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Here's a suggestion...let the baby come when he's ready. Why do you think it is okay to rush a process of nature? For convenience? Sorry if this sounds harsh, I know you have your other child's happiness in mind, but what you should be giving your daughter is the gift of a healthy sibling and not worrying about missing a trip or party! I think this is risky and selfish. Please relax and let nature take its course.
A.T. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I'm so sorry you feel like you were attacked, that "Laurie B"
comment was truly unecessary, inappropriate and uncalled for, but you know what, you always get those kind of comments and you must remember it is nothing but selfish ignorance talking. She is not you or walking in your shoes. Please know that for every one or two negative comments, there will be a few that are positive. Don't give up on us good moms.
I think everyone got a bit confused as to why you wanted to be induced. Your request sounded as if you were doing it to accomodate your other daughter and her schedule. I think that's where all the miscommunication took place. That is neither here nor there, that is completely your business, there are just alot of advocates of natural child birth on this site, moms against c-sections etc....don't take the judgemental responses to heart. Everyone is always going to have an opinion, good and bad.
Now....for an answer to your actual question....what can you do to bring this baby into this world......have intercourse with your husband. Works like a charm! I know you may not feel like an evening full of flirty romance, but it will get the motors running and before you know it, baby will be here.
As for accomodating the needs of your other daughter, can you perhaps enlist the help of family or friends to assit you with the party plans and getting her to her friends party and gently explain to your daughter why mommy can't be a part of it. Perhaps re-schedule the field trip with daddy for another time. I'm sure she will understand. Breathe in the good air....exhale the bad. Remember, God does things for a reason. Keep your chin up, don't worry and roll with the flow of the day, no matter what it brings (or doesn't bring in this case ----wink and a smile).
L.W. answers from New York on June 19, 2008
I can't give you any advice on how to speed the baby up, but try to remember that he/she is on his/her own schedule. Could your stress level be playing a role? Sounds like you have A LOT going on. Remember that intervening in the natural process increases your risk for all kinds of problems (C-section, etc.) and consider letting nature take its course. 40 weeks is just a guideline - lots of babies are born very healthy at 42 weeks. Give yourself permission to have this baby whenever you have him/her - to hell with birthday parties and field trips. I'm amazed you're even trying to plan a birthday party with a baby due any minute! Give yourself a break, and in ten years you can tease this child for "ruining" everyone's plans. Relax, relax, relax - and breathe. All the best!
A.H. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I know it is frustrating, but you have to remember that MOST pregnancies do not deliver early or on time. I had a c-section with my first child due to complications. So when it came to my second child, I was determined to do VBAC. I was 10 days late and finally I gave into another c-section. I also did everything to get him to engage. My doctor would not induce me because he felt it would be a waist of time. The baby was not even close to wanting to come out. When he was born, it turned out his head was in the 100th percentile, and he would have never engaged because it was just too big. I felt 10 days late was forever, and I was miserable. My mother kept reminding me that when she was pregnant with me I was 3 WEEKS late. I was her fourth child too. If you really want to be sure this baby is born, the only guarantee is a section.