June 24, 2008,
J.F. asks from Geneseo, NY on June 19, 2008
Failed Induction, Baby Wont engage...almost overdue....HELP
I went in on monday for what was supposed to be a routine induction. This is my 4th baby. I was 39weeks 1 day and reason for induction was due to my oldest having a birthday this coming weekend (trying to give them a little space) well, after about 29 hours of Pitocin, 2-3 min contractions, a lot of discomfort and NO sleep, I went from 3cm (where I was when I went in) to 4cm. And stopped. The pitocin wasnt working and I was too tired to go on. I was hoping the dr would just break my water, but the baby's head was "too high" so we risked cord prolapse.
Anyone else have a failed induction?! Or have an issue where the baby wouldnt engage?! I know they say sometimes they dont until you are IN labor, but I have no sure signs labor is coming. I see the dr again on monday when I will be overdue. I am feeling terrible as I cant even plan my daughter's birthday this weekend and her daddy is going to miss a field trip with her next Tuesday if I have not delivered -- and they have been planning the trip for a month. To top it off, her friend party is the 28th and now I am worried I wont even be able to do that for her.
I have been doing pelvic tilts, squats and acupressure, as well as EPO (evening primrose oils) Anyone else have any suggestions?! According to the dr he is trying to come out with his forehead instead of the crown of his head, so I have been trying to manipulate him to move into correct position so they can break my water and let me have him already.
Any suggestions on what may have worked would be great. Thanks
Can I just add I have never met such a group of rude and inconsiderate women in all my life?? I will not be posting here again. I love how you all "know it all" and have the attitude that you do. So nice of you to be so rude to a newcomer for asking a question. And no one said anything about RUSHING Nature. I was simply asking for suggestions more on how to get the baby repositioned so birth could happen naturally. Thank you all for being so judgemental.
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So What Happened?™
I would just like to clarify some things here. FIRST off, the concern surrounding my DD's birthday (which is TOMORROW) is simply that I feel bad. Her party with HER friends is NEXT Saturday, and if I had to reschedule I would feel horrible. Apparently having feelings and expressing them is unacceptable around here. As thats all I was doing. Stating how I feel bad, and go ahead and tell me you wouldnt. There is no chance hubby will go on the field trip if I have not had the baby as he would be an hour away and no means of getting back to me and the trip is from 9am-5pm. And he works from home, so no work is not an issue. But he wont leave me home alone with a 5 year old and no way to get to the hospital either!
I understand not all babies come "on their due date" and many are late. I just never experienced it before. ALL 3 of my kids were early, and to the person who mentioned loss, well, I would know first hand what its like, TRUST ME. I lost our 1 yr old to a rare genetic condition, another baby at 15 weeks to the same condition and we were truly BLESSED to even be expecting this baby and that he is going to be OK and not have the same terminal condition our other 2 boys had. So if anyone knows the meaning of a loss I would be it. Im concerned about other complications, or potential complications and yes, I was just expressing my feelings about how it saddens me that my soon to be 9 year old is trying to be such a grown up about it all but how much hurt I see in her eyes when I cant commit to anything.
I am seeing my Dr today and will discuss the options, and a plan of action. Its HER who will help me best make choices for this baby. I have not had an ultrasound, I have not had a NST I have not had anything to ensure that he is even OK where he is. So please, bear with the fact that I am 40 weeks and hormonal -- I am sure each and every one of you were too at that point. Not to mention, no one knows what is BEST for anyone else. So please, You have your opinions, but it doesnt mean that is what is best for me -- my DR will make that choice.
****Back from the dr and induction has been scheduled for Wed, and if thursday comes and no baby C section. Dr's choice. And to Carol..I got pregnant right after an IUD there was no planning,it just happened - but thanks for your comment.
R.E. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
First I want to send kudos to your doctor for not pushing c/s after the failed induction - so unusual these days. I also want to applaud you for not asking to have c/s after 29 hours of Pit - this tells me you are strong! The thing is, obviously your baby is not ready to come out yet. If she/he was, you would have baby in your arms today.
So what to do now? Go about your normal routine and continue to make plans. With 3 kids you really do not have a choice on that one. If baby comes and "messes up" plans, than so be it. This is the nature of parenting anyway and your other kids will get over the disappointment of things not going as planned. I know this is a hard thing to accept because as a mommy, you want every one of your kids to feel important and supported. I have learned in the past 13 years that they survive these little disappointments AND SO WILL YOU! FYI, my second son was due on my first son's b'day (they are 11 days short of 2 years apart)
Back to baby, first babies generally come into the pelvis before labor begins. Subsequent babies are likely to do so once the labor ball gets rolling. Try to take a walk every day, continue the pelvic tilts (but do them on your hands & knees) and sit on a birth ball & hula hoop it. These things can help baby tuck its chin. Check out this website for help with positioning: www.spinningbabies.com You might want to visit a chiropractor for an adjustment too - sometimes loosening the lower back & pelvic girdle helps baby shift.
Have faith J., everything will work out just fine!
2 moms found this helpful
C.G. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
sorry, i agree with a few of the others. sounds like you are messing with mother nature for your convenience. i would fear jeopardizing my baby's or my own health.
1 mom found this helpful
L.D. answers from Albany on June 20, 2008
I'm sorry you felt like you were being attacked but if you reread your post, the majority of it IS about all the things the new baby's arrival is potentially ruining. I think that is why everyone is kind of surprised.
My third was born last summer 8 days after my middle son's birthday. I didn't want to the boys to have to cancel anything last minute but I wouldn't rush my son either so I had my middle son's party a few weeks before his birthday to be safe. I also didn't schedule my older boys for anything that somebody else couldn't get them to. For instance, they were only taking swimming lessons at that point and we had several friends who went at the same time so they would have had a ride if I couldn't take them.
Find someone who will be on call while your husband goes on the field trip with your daughter unless it is far away. Let your daughter go to her friend's party. I don't understand why that one would be affected anyhow. As for her party, start planning it to take play in a few weeks. It doesn't have to happen on her birthday and at this point, you aren't giving potential guests much notice anyhow.
I agree you are stressing and trying to control mother nature. BTW, again, REREAD YOUR POST. You were NOT simply asking for suggestions on how to get him repositioned so birth could happen naturally. You specifically said you want to manipulate him into a correct position so your water can be broken and you can "have him already".
I'm sorry. You have NO reason to be angry at the posts you are getting. If anything, they should make you realize how you are talking about your unborn child and making him sound like an inconvenience.
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L.D. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
When I was almost a week past due I had an induction that also failed. my water never broke, and once the dr did it for me she discovered the baby's head was high, etc. As he baby's vitals were weakening, they opted to do an emergency c-section. We discovered the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around her neck which is why she didn't come out on her own.
I'm surprised they tried an induction and let you leave the hospital after it failed. I delivered in NYC and they won't do that. Once you've committed to a direction the baby's coming out! But honestly I wouldn't try to dicate your baby's birth time/date based on party schedules. The baby may be in some kind of distress and needs to come out another way.
D.D. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Here's a suggestion...let the baby come when he's ready. Why do you think it is okay to rush a process of nature? For convenience? Sorry if this sounds harsh, I know you have your other child's happiness in mind, but what you should be giving your daughter is the gift of a healthy sibling and not worrying about missing a trip or party! I think this is risky and selfish. Please relax and let nature take its course.
A.T. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I'm so sorry you feel like you were attacked, that "Laurie B"
comment was truly unecessary, inappropriate and uncalled for, but you know what, you always get those kind of comments and you must remember it is nothing but selfish ignorance talking. She is not you or walking in your shoes. Please know that for every one or two negative comments, there will be a few that are positive. Don't give up on us good moms.
I think everyone got a bit confused as to why you wanted to be induced. Your request sounded as if you were doing it to accomodate your other daughter and her schedule. I think that's where all the miscommunication took place. That is neither here nor there, that is completely your business, there are just alot of advocates of natural child birth on this site, moms against c-sections etc....don't take the judgemental responses to heart. Everyone is always going to have an opinion, good and bad.
Now....for an answer to your actual question....what can you do to bring this baby into this world......have intercourse with your husband. Works like a charm! I know you may not feel like an evening full of flirty romance, but it will get the motors running and before you know it, baby will be here.
As for accomodating the needs of your other daughter, can you perhaps enlist the help of family or friends to assit you with the party plans and getting her to her friends party and gently explain to your daughter why mommy can't be a part of it. Perhaps re-schedule the field trip with daddy for another time. I'm sure she will understand. Breathe in the good air....exhale the bad. Remember, God does things for a reason. Keep your chin up, don't worry and roll with the flow of the day, no matter what it brings (or doesn't bring in this case ----wink and a smile).
L.W. answers from New York on June 19, 2008
I can't give you any advice on how to speed the baby up, but try to remember that he/she is on his/her own schedule. Could your stress level be playing a role? Sounds like you have A LOT going on. Remember that intervening in the natural process increases your risk for all kinds of problems (C-section, etc.) and consider letting nature take its course. 40 weeks is just a guideline - lots of babies are born very healthy at 42 weeks. Give yourself permission to have this baby whenever you have him/her - to hell with birthday parties and field trips. I'm amazed you're even trying to plan a birthday party with a baby due any minute! Give yourself a break, and in ten years you can tease this child for "ruining" everyone's plans. Relax, relax, relax - and breathe. All the best!
A.H. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I know it is frustrating, but you have to remember that MOST pregnancies do not deliver early or on time. I had a c-section with my first child due to complications. So when it came to my second child, I was determined to do VBAC. I was 10 days late and finally I gave into another c-section. I also did everything to get him to engage. My doctor would not induce me because he felt it would be a waist of time. The baby was not even close to wanting to come out. When he was born, it turned out his head was in the 100th percentile, and he would have never engaged because it was just too big. I felt 10 days late was forever, and I was miserable. My mother kept reminding me that when she was pregnant with me I was 3 WEEKS late. I was her fourth child too. If you really want to be sure this baby is born, the only guarantee is a section.
J.C. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
You poor thing!! Ignore the crazies out there. I know that you want to do what's best for all of your kids. Hang in there - it won't be much longer. Feel well!!
K.D. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
My suggestion is stop trying to control everything and let nature take its course! Just stop worrying about all these other plans, go about your life until that baby lets you know it is time. The induction didnt work because the baby's not ready, it's just not time. Dont force it. Just relax and Go with the flow... When the time comes, I really think your husband will be so joyful for the new birth I doubt he will be sitting there going damn I could have been on a trip right now can you hurry it up!? And if your kids are like that, tell then to get over it I think the birth of their sibling is a little more important. jeez
S.C. answers from Albany on June 20, 2008
I didn't have a failed induction, but was 1 week "late" with my second child. I was supposed to be induced the day after I had him, had I not gone on my own. My only suggestion is to let nature take it's course. I was not really thrilled with the idea of an induction, because it's not what your body is supposed to do naturally. I know you want your baby, and are probably tired and very uncomfortable, but please let your body do what it knows to do. You can go 2 weeks past your "due date" without any risk to you or your baby (unless you have some other condition) and this may give your baby a chance to get into position. I was almost 2 weeks early with my first child, and as I said, a week late with my second one. Your baby may also not ever engage, and if this is the case, you'll need a c-section. I wish you all the best and hope that your little one in on it's way. God bless you and your family.
N.B. answers from Jamestown on June 20, 2008
He'll come out when he's ready...
My youngest wasn't due until a month after I had her. I had plans that day to go to Wal-mart, grocery shopping, ect. When I went in for a sonogram, the Dr. said he he was taking her that day. I freaked out. I had plans for the day and hadn't even had breakfast yet...lol.
Having kids changes our adult plans anyway. Why should birth be any different?
Sometimes we plan...and God laughs.
M.F. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Eating lots of pineaple worked for me, but I am not sure it works for everyone.
Best of Luck!
C.T. answers from Elmira on June 20, 2008
Geeze, judgemental is heavy to such a question. If this is your biggest problem, because party plans and field days have to be changed, the baby is smart to stay put!! Your planning should have been better in the beginning before conception. All my sisters are born in the same month, and they love it. I'm kinda lonely being in a different. Sorry. Good luck with both your kids. You'll look back and hopefully laugh later.
S.B. answers from Syracuse on June 20, 2008
Take it easy. The baby will come when it's good and ready. Your daughter will be excited to have a new baby. Birthdays are a big deal, but they can be celebrated in many ways..just as long as she knows it's her special day. We tend to overdo everything (I do too) parties, presents, friends, homemade invitations etc..I also have 4 kids. Just do something nice and small for her birthday and if you really have to have a bash, tell her you'll have two parties..a family party now and a friend party after the baby comes..in July or August.
Forget the fielsd trip. You have too many other things to think about - there'll be another one next year.
Relax and take care of yourself.
K.G. answers from Rochester on June 19, 2008
Honestly, it could be 3 more weeks until baby is ready to make their grand entrance. I wouldn't mess with nature. You could end up on the operating table with a Dr. elbow deep in your uterus. Just relax and let it happen.
My boys birthdays are 10 days apart, they couldn't care less.
M.K. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Why not just plan a C section?
this way you and the new baby have bonding time and daddycan take her aroun to all these fun things...
After all it is your 4th,
J.T. answers from Buffalo on June 20, 2008
hi J.. I just wanted to say that I feel for you. You asked if anyone else had a failed induction - me. but our situations are different because the dr moved to a c-section as my water had already broken and they said that they don't like to deliver after 24 hours of that happening. so they tried inducing me from about 7am til 5pm. anyhow, we did all the squats, birthing ball, everything that you mentioned. it would have been frustrating to go through all that to just be sent home. I wish you luck.
L.M. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I was late with my last 2 sons. On my 42 wk appt. my dr "stripped the membranes" not sure what that means but i had the baby the following morn. He too was not in position completely. He actually came out sunny side up. I say plan the party you may just be a few weeks late.
A.D. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Hi J., I'm sorry your plan failed and all the events that will be messed up but I think your baby is not ready to come out into the world. Try to relax and work around your pregnancy. One of my (5) was 3 weeks later than due date. all will work out as it is in The Plan. Best wishes, Grandma Mary
L.B. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Babies come when they want to come. If this is such an inconvenience to your life maybe you should not be having a 4th child if it messes up your plans.
My advice is birth control?????
C.M. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Sorry this might sound off the wall but did you ever here the saying Babies come when they are ready. Perhaps it really isn't time.Sometimes we try to hard to upset the natural order of things. Be blessed that you can have children and enjoy your life along the way.
You may try walking walking and walking that brought on my labor.
S.E. answers from Albany on June 20, 2008
cod liver oil and sex! Worked for my third, and was the easiest delivery of the four!
S.B. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
HI J.,I was told if you use the tyme that you use to cook to make tea it will induce labour.I drank it a few times and it work for me.Fr; a mother of four an drink it each times and have a very quick deliverer... ........
J.R. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
My doc told me eggplant. It worked for me, I had a big plate of eggplant parm the night before I gave birth to my daughter. I was up all night with what I thought was heartburn, but in hindsight, I was probably in labor.
Good luck to you!
C.T. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I am a newer Mommy and had what most would consider a quick birth so I have no experience in dealing with this actual situation but, when I look back, I do see some activities that I did that I think helped...
1) Keep busy and this does not mean stressing over everyone else's schedules! :-)
2) Stay physically active. I liked walking. Not only was it good exercise but a great time to bond with baby (and it was one of the few times I could talk out loud to myself and not look nuts!) Always take a cell phone though.
3) Stay mentally active. I took some time each day to read, do a cross-word puzzle or play a computer game. This was a little indulgent "me" time.
4) Plan some "destressing" time. I liked warm showers and baths in my whirlpool tub.
5) Keep doing the pelvic tilts, especially in the cat-dog position on the floor.
6) When on the birthing ball, massage your tummy in a downward direction.
7) I spent a lot of time visualizing my baby head down, in the right position, ready and engaged to come out. I also visualized me opening up like a flower. I also liked to think about being at/in the ocean and imagining the rhythem of the surging water and being connected to that energy and it help baby out.
8) Sex and nipple stimulation are HUGE boosts. Both these actions release natural petocin and the real deal is much better than the man-made stuff! My hubby and I were together twice in the 24 hrs before baby was born.
Hope some of these help! Lots of luck and try not to stress too much about the family schedule or the overdue "due date". Gather lots of supportive people around you and keep thinking positive. It will all work out <- That I DO know from experience! :-)
C.F. answers from Tuscaloosa on June 20, 2008
Sorry that you have gotten so many tough responses. There is no judgement here, just different perspectives from women who have been through what you are going through.
I am sorry that you are having a tough time. I understand that it is a frustrating thing when plans don't go as they should. I think what the mothers here are saying, sometimes not so gently, is that your priorities may be a little off.
There are women here who have lost children in complicated births or were in your situation and wished they had done something differently. We all remember that last few weeks of pregnancy when you are so so tired of being a slave to your body.
Having a healthy delivery that keeps you and your new baby alive and well, with no long term complications, is the most important thing you can focus on right now.
Perhaps you can reach out to your friends or family and have them plan the birthday events for your daughter. You need to rest and take care of yourself. I know it is hard to do with three other children, a husband etc.
The moms on this site are here for you, even when they don't agree with what you are doing.
S.S. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
This sounds kind of strange but I went overdue with my 2nd child and my 3rd was due on Christmas Eve. I was so worried that I would either have her on Xmas or go overdue again which - I feel your pain - was miserable. I went on the Internet on 12/23 for suggestions and one was to play with your nipples. I thought that was weird but I did it during the morning while I kept searching and, much to my disbelief, I had her that night. It might have been a coincidence but it worked. Good luck
E.C. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
I'm sorry you've had this experience.
J.R. answers from New York on June 21, 2008
hi there blessed mom! The best advice is let this baby come when ready. obviously he is
still in preparation. unless you have had an abnormal delivery the first time, please let
the process God has instituted have its full course. forcing anything before it is ready has
consequences. stress is not good for your little one; just be willing to be inconvenienced
(as nursing is, so is the entire process; it is outside of your "control" to manipulate.)
i see your response to other commentators in the box above. you need to focus on the baby.
it is easy to comment on another; my first take on your posting is that you are impatient in
the process. we all have plans....oh well. a new baby is going to modify your schedule.
you will learn and flow in it if you want to.
all of the best, from someone with some experience and some compassion.
J.S. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
To avoid C-section (horrible experience), try 3 tablespoons of castor oil mixed with some orange juice. Worked like a charm for me, doctor recommended it. Labor for 3 hours, baby out in minutes.
Only thing is, might cause some awful diarrhea, lucky for me I didn't have that problem.
Because of my doc's advice to take the castor oil, I had a VBAC and avoided another c-section.
D.J. answers from Glens Falls on June 21, 2008
i would suggest to just chill out and wait....full term is 42 weeks not 39 and you need to count your blessings that you can have a beautiful baby. I am floored that a dr would induce because of a birthday.... statistically at least half of inductions end up in a c-section .....so your kids might share a b-day...that is an awesome birthday present !!!! follow your doctors advice and relax..your baby will come when he/she is ready to.
R.Q. answers from New York on June 20, 2008
Babies come at their own pace with or without medical intervention. My DD was born at 42 weeks and 2 days--I had a homebirth and no medical interventions. However *I* was a failed induction multiple times--born at 48 weeks. My mother's Dr. was very anti-c-section, which was a good thing, because it's rare that a doctor will "let" you go for more than 42 weeks now.
I seriously would advise against having your water broken, this does not always start contractions and once it's been broken you're on the clock whether the baby is coming or not. If your contractions don't start, the only option is for a c-section.
You're trying to plan around your baby's birth too much. The baby will come when it's ready. There's no reason you can't have your daughter's birthday. The field trip may have to go by the wayside if it's too far away. If it's closer, maybe your husband could go along as an "assistant chaperone" and be on call to leave if you go into labor. Seriously, I hiked up a volcano the day I was "due" :D and was walking and shopping etc, right up til my daughter was born. My mom and sister were afraid that they would miss the birth, DD took her sweet time (made her arrival 2 days before they had to fly out.)
Suggestions for getting labor to come on: #1 relax about it--every time you start to stress remind yourself "LO will come when he/she is ready" #2 walk and spend some time talking to your baby--tell the LO how nice is it outside and that everyone wants to meet him/her #3 spend some adult time with your SO. #4 eat some high iron and vitamin K meals (this has nothing with bringing on labor, but will help with recovery :D ) A nice chard salad, basil pesto on spaghetti, sauted swiss chard. . . .
But most of all relax and go about your daily life like you "normally" would.
K.O. answers from New York on June 24, 2008
I went just past 42 weeks with my first. Her head never engaged in my pelvis. She grew to over 9 pounds, which was a lot for my 5foot2 frame to carry. The doctor explained that she wouldn't induce, since the baby's head was not in place, which meant it wouldn't matter how much I dilated or how many contractions I went though, no baby would come out! She waited as long as possible for the baby to drop before deciding on a c-section. The sonogram showed it clearly. The head was up around my belly button. With my second baby, my doctor wouldn't let me go past 38 weeks. That baby did the same thing, grew to over 8 pounds, but never put his head in place. The doctor explained that it was due to the shape of my pelvis, and showed me a picture in a textbook. Again, she told me, inducing would not bring a baby through if the head didn't move into place first. The second baby was so high, that the c-section took over an hour, since they couldn't get him out!!! I lost a lot of blood. I wish they had waited a little bit longer, since I was in bad shape after that surgery, making it hard to nurse at first and get back to the general 24/7 job of mothering.
If you have already had natural deliveries, your pelvis is fine, but, if the head isn't low enough and in place, inducing, I am told from my wonderful OB, will not make it happen.
K.L. answers from Binghamton on June 20, 2008
I 'm sorry your not feeling well -but let mother nature takes its course. I can't imagine a DR. would induce labor over a birthday party. If for some reason you are way over due or the baby is in danger, then do what ever is necessary to keep you both safe. Why force a baby to be born before its time unless its a health issue?