56 answers

Facebook Wedding Invitation???

i received a wedding invitation on facebook recently. It was one of those event invitations where you mark yes, no, or maybe. I did not attend the wedding since I figured that if they really wanted me to attend I would have received a REAL invitation in the mail. Some of my (much younger) friends are teasing me about this. Am I being a 38-year old fuddy-duddy, or is a facebook wedding invitation inappropriate?

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So What Happened?™

Just as an aside... this wedding was quite elaborate, probably in the $15,000-10,000 range. I don't think saving money or being eco-friendly is a part of this issue. :)

Featured Answers

TOTALLY inappropriate. That's as disgusting as the 'no gifts please ... only cash' message I've recently seen on wedding invites. I'm 35 and am appalled by this complete lack of manners. Evites are perfectly fine for birthdays, general parties and random get togethers, but weddings? That's really tacky.

3 moms found this helpful

Another 37 yr old fuddy duddy here too. I just signed up on Facebook recently. I could see sending a "save the date" on there to get the word out but I think an invitation should be sent for it to be official. If money is tight then an evite could be personalized and sent by email. We use evites for the kids birthday parties. Not everyone is on FB so I would think they would have been notified traditionally. I fought FB for about 1 1/2 yrs of people telling me to sign up.

If the date was getting close and you are good friends with them, asking them would have let you known. You could have asked will I be getting an invite in the mail also. Either way you would have known why they used FB, traditional or not, it is their day.

Something like this would not sit good with Miss Manners! =)

I wonder how they are going to do thank you letters? Wall posts? =)

3 moms found this helpful

Did they send out all of their invites like this? It could be to save on money and to be "green". If this is the way they did all of their invites, then you should not have a problem with it. It is their right to decide how to invite their guests. However, if other people got "real" invitations then you might wonder why you were not "important" enough to recieve one too. Weddings do not have to follow the rule book anymore.........

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

"Tacky" is not showing up to a friend's wedding b/c you didn't like the way you were invited. "Tacky" is judging someone else and then posting your judgement on a website (how different is this from Facebook?) so you can get other people - whom you've never met - to agree with you and make you feel better about your decision. Grow up, it wasn't your day so you don't get to decide how it is handled.

5 moms found this helpful

While I think it odd to invite guests to a wedding via FB, I would not have based my decision to attend on whether they chose that method or traditional paper invitations. More importantly for me would be my relationship to them and my availability. We all have our own ways of doing things, even if they defy convention or logic and in this case I don't agree that "if they really wanted me to attend I would have received a REAL invitation in the mail". Is it possible they were trying to be trendy or unique?

4 moms found this helpful

While I think traditional invitations are the way to go I can understand why they might choose to use FB for invites. I work a bit in the wedding industry and you would be surprised by how many people do not send back the rsvp. So here you have a bride trying to compile her guest list and the money she spent on the rsvps and the stamps and people completely ignore it! Leaving the bride to guess at who might show and who might stay home.

And I agree with the others-if this person is a friend you'd like to keep, let it go. Maybe they were just trying something different, trying to be hip, cute, whatever by using FB for the invites. Def. more important things out there to worry about.

4 moms found this helpful

Although it may be a little tacky... life is too short to worry about those things. I would have still gone and had fun. Don't let it get to you.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm about your age and I also think it's tacky. I can understand if they sent an invitation by mail and THEN asked for responses on Facebook..........I can sympathize with having problems with not responding and then people showing up unexpectedly, but there are some traditions that I don't think should change.

3 moms found this helpful

Another 37 yr old fuddy duddy here too. I just signed up on Facebook recently. I could see sending a "save the date" on there to get the word out but I think an invitation should be sent for it to be official. If money is tight then an evite could be personalized and sent by email. We use evites for the kids birthday parties. Not everyone is on FB so I would think they would have been notified traditionally. I fought FB for about 1 1/2 yrs of people telling me to sign up.

If the date was getting close and you are good friends with them, asking them would have let you known. You could have asked will I be getting an invite in the mail also. Either way you would have known why they used FB, traditional or not, it is their day.

Something like this would not sit good with Miss Manners! =)

I wonder how they are going to do thank you letters? Wall posts? =)

3 moms found this helpful

Nope -- Invite by internet is not OK. Right up there with breaking up via e-mail. Socially immature.

3 moms found this helpful

IDK? I can say that a lot of people use facebook (my whole extended family is on there, and that is how we communicate mostly) and a lot of people are struggling financially...so maybe it was a free way to invite friends and family to a low-key affair?

Granted if it was going to be a huge lavish wedding then you would assume a real invitation would be in order....but if not, maybe this was appropriate to their situation?

BTW-38 is hardly old, or fuddy-duddy...but we do have to change with the times sister!

I kind of get put off by anyone's judging how others handle their weddings/b-days, etc...after all they are inviting you to come share their special day...it is supposed to be about them...not how comfortable you are with how they have handled it--sounds like you made the right choice by not attending if it insulted you so.

3 moms found this helpful

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