Facebook = Foot in the Mouth

Updated on June 04, 2013
T.P. asks from Castle Rock, CO
19 answers

How do you all feel about using Facebook as a means to post your views on controversial or political issues? I find that I have had to unlike many of the news and political sites I once frequented because inevitably, something would get my blood bolling and I would post about it OFTEN on facebook. Rarely has anyone said much about it recently, but in years past, I have had some pretty heated discussions and disgreements to the point of causing a lot of drama in my own family.

Now that I am a mom, I've really had to re-evualuate how I do things. I feel even stronger and more passionate about my beliefs, but I also realize now that it's time to slow down and try to be more focused on the good in my life and love my daughter with everything I can. I always want to teach her to never apologize for what she believes in, but I also want to show her that there should be balance in all things as well. I hate that I let my emotions take over so easily.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the feedback. I actually have agreements with MOST of those on my FB friends list, but there a certain few (a couple cousins and a couple friends) with whom I have absolute OPPOSITE view points with. One of my cousins can be a bully at times and will insist on offending you in person even, but there will be hell to pay if you ever offend her. I think people like her make me more courageous about being outspoken so I can pretty much tell her where to go in a sense. But overall, I know it's not worth upsetting those whom I will have to have interactions with at some point. I have to rise above it. The other thing that makes me so willing to post stuff is I get so upset about a certain issue that I feel the need to vent and get it all out there in some way. I guess using FB as a means to do so is not always the best decision, so I'm pulling back from it now. All it does is upset me even more and get me going. I won't apologize for my beliefs or for expressing them ever though. I just think that for my own health and sanity, I need to quit obsessing over certain issues.

Featured Answers

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I really don't voice my political opinions socially, not on FB or even in dinner conversation. It's usually pointless anyway because people have already made up their own minds, it's not like they're going to be swayed by my opinion so why waste my time and energy? That's what my VOTE is for ;-)

7 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I have a friend on facebook who posts ALL KINDS of political stuff. She is a hard core Republican who HATES Obama while I am a soft Liberal who voted for him.
I hate it when she posts all of her anti-Obama stuff. She never just posts an article, she usually says something about the "idiots" who voted for him or the "ignorant who blindly follow him" or any other mean thing.
It's fine to believe differently than I do.....that's not my problem! I just don't like to be called names because of it.
I try very hard not to post a lot of political stuff and think about what I DO post because a lot of my family is pretty far "right" and I don't want some kind of crazy facebook fight on my hands.
I am confident in what I believe and try to be conscious of how I come accross. I don't want to be a bully.
L.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Your facebook page is your page. You should post what you feel is right and don't let anyone tell you what they think you should do or not do.

7 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

that's the beauty of FB, it can be whatever you want it to be. i use it mostly to post snippets about what's going on during my days, just 'keep in touch' with friends and family since i'm out and about a lot less at the moment. but i also use it to post religious and political stuff, always understanding that there is drama potential whenever i do.
sometimes i'm up for that.
sometimes i ain't. that's when i post about fireflies.
:) khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Houston on

Its getting so that there is no place to offer political opinions: not on FB, not at work, not at school, not on Mamapedia...

American freedom of speech is losing to PCism.

4 moms found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

I have one acquaintance whose political views are diametrically opposed to mine. She only posts political rants, most of them just memes that don't address issues but attack people who disagree with her point of view. I wouldn't tolerate it from someone I agree with, but I sure as hell don't tolerate it from her. I simply limited the posts I see from her, so once every couple of weeks one slips through. She can post anything she wants, but I don't have to look at it. I haven't unfriended yet, but I probably will.

And people are welcome to "offer" their political views wherever they want. But what I object to is the arrogance many people have that others should care. It's attention mongering and looking for a fight. I have strong convictions, but it's not my job to shove them down other people's throats.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Wow. Very few people these days stop to consider these things, much less come to as wise a decision. So while you regret your impulsive emotions, their input in your decisions has been beneficial. You see they carry you to a place you didn't necessarily want to go. I came to that same conclusion years ago. It lends a restraint to me that has been certainly warranted and never out of style.

I still can't achieve the calm nature I aspire to. I still get frustrated with human blindness and feel compelled to add my own human insight in a harsh way.
I just got reported here for flaming. So someone felt its sting! I doubt that person was informed by the content, so it was ineffective. My emotion did not help the situation. So while everyone is entitled to their beliefs, not apologizing for the way they are delivered sometimes is not the best option.
Truth matters, but Delivery counts, if you have to live with the results.

I like that you decided to focus on the good. It's out there. It needs to be sought out and uncovered and shared.

I decided that Facebook was not a place for me. Everybody has opinions but I don't have to know them. It helps me love everybody at church. I take them as they are and not stumble over the fact that they have terrible choices over what they choose to share on Facebook. It's another way to divide people sometimes. For me, it's not good to know everything. For God, well, he does know everything and judges wisely. I will defer to His judgement..when I am smart ; )

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I avoid it, BUT if I see something that is BS, regarding of the party, I will respond. For example, there was the "he's so stupid he can't use the phone right" picture of Obama - well, I googled and they did it for Bush to, so I posted BOTH pictures and commented on their one-sided disrespect of the office. I hide people that harp on stupid political stuff. It just devolves into more stupid and I won't go there.

I look for moving, uplifting, funny, and meaningful.

I do have strong beliefs as well, and I respect others in their beliefs. But if I believe in something that isn't true, and I learn the facts that PROVE it isn't true, then that belief must change. If someone posts something that isn't true, I respectfully direct them to information and they can take it as it is. I won't insult them - that's not cool. But I won't get into an arguement just because I disagree. Opinions are not facts - I don't go there.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My FB page is for me to post my thoughts, views, opinions, events of my day, pictures of my cat, my dinner, or my cat's dinner, etc.
Most of the people I communicate with on FB are also people I communcate with in real life. I don't agree with every theological or political belief held by my friends. Sometimes my friends and I have diametrically opposing views on a particular issue. Agreeing with me is not a requirement for my friendship. We can discuss a topic without either of us expecting to change the other's mind, and at the end of the discussion, each of us has learned a little something, and we simply agree to disagree.
If a person can't be friends with me because I don't vote for the same candidate as them, or worship the same deity as them, that's their problem, not mine.
And it's not as though I am required to comment on every post that appears on my wall. Some I see, think to myself, "All right then," and move on to the next post. No one can argue with you without your participation.
If someone posts something that I find particularly offensive or inappropriate, I simply hide the post.

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I get a lot of my news from Facebook. There are a lot of wonderful pages that post interesting articles. But you're right - I've decided recently that there's just soooo much negativity out there, and life is too short to wallow in that. Sadly, I un-friended a few people who I really liked otherwise because they were continually posting really unpleasant memes (name-calling related to politics). I realized it made me unhappy to see those posts, and I don't go on Facebook to be unhappy.

It's very rare that I re-post or share political articles; I know I have friends with differing views and I don't want to shove my views down their throats, as well as I'm friends with several of my clients (no need to mix politics with business - yikes!). So I don't really want to post things of a political nature.

One thing that kind of bugs me about Facebook is that it's not possible for me to hide my "likes" of posts from my friends' newsfeeds. It's up to them to subscribe to my likes, or not. So if I "like" a post on a political page, potentially that could be broadcast to all kinds of people's news feeds. Ugh. So I'm pretty careful about things I choose to "like" these days. :-/

3 moms found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Dallas on

It's very rare that I/we post anything ourselves on FB that are particularly controversial, but we do "share" what we like or agree with. We have been fortunate enough for it not to have ruffled any feathers (that we know of).
There are some posts that I feel are a little inappropriate (like the ones of kids that are dying or have some kind of birth defect). I mean, getting 1 million "likes" isn't going to change their life or the outcome. Yes, I feel for them but it does make a lot of people uncomfortable. Even me at times.
As far as political posts, if I see one that I completely agree with, sure I'll share it. But most I just read and move on. I definitely don't consider FB a forum to reveal my beliefs, causes, etc. It's social, not political.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

My guiding principle with FB is to not post anything I wouldn't want to see on a billboard or hear read to a jury (sometimes I break my own rule).

I also do not think that you are living in the dark ages if you're not on FB. If enough people stopped doing it it wouldn't be the destructive force that it is sometimes. My biggest problem with FB is that it encourages the sin of coveting. It's one big brag-fest and/or lecture. FB is another way to gather LOTS of data on people, even via posts or "likes" that seem innocuous enough.

That being said, there are many blogs that I follow on FB that I truly enjoy. I also like seeing pics of my family.

I agree that FB is not the best place to let it all hang out.

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K.P.

answers from Miami on

I never share anything opinionated or political on Facebook. It's just not my style. I also don't share anything important via e-mail or FB message if I can at all help it. It's impersonal and it doesn't allow for any "humor" or "sarcasm" to be inferred or observed. You never know how someone will "read" something and they can't see you to "read" whether or not you were joking or serious.

I am politically very conservative, but if you were to know me socially (not personally), you would have no IDEA what my political views are. I was brought up not to talk money, politics or religion in polite company and it's served me well thus far!

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I post my views on facebook. I've lost a few "friends" over it as well. If they aren't strong in their convictions or beliefs, they feel offended.

I have great discussions on my wall and others. Yes, some have been heated. I have one right now that I just roll my eyes and do a face palm when he posts...can people really be that...well...**THAT**?? yes. Why yes, they can!

Instead of letting your emotions take over - take a deep breath, take a step back and THINK out your response. You can do it in person - you can do it on the internet as well - type to your hearts content - but do NOT press send or post until you have had a chance to think about it and re-read it.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I hate facebook.
Too many people spout off without thinking.
And there's a WHOLE lot of non-thinking going on out there!
My opinion is not so important that I need to broadcast it to the world.
That's true for %99.99 of the rest of the population as well.
Employers are all over it.
It can affect your life, employment, etc.
So many people need to have their data scrubbed (deleted) so they can overcome what ever they've typed in the past it's not even funny - and even then sometimes the data turns up again.

IF you are going to use any social site, ALWAYS type as if you were speaking out loud to people who are face to face with you in the same room.
If you wouldn't say something to their face, then don't say it online.
Type as if your mother were reading it - she might be.
If you're the kind of person who tells your mother to F*** Off (and there are way too many of those on line, too), then social media is the least of your problems.

2 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

here's the thing, if you let someone views on a public website, like FB piss you off so much to the point that your blood boils. Block that stuff. My goodness I can just imagine a few people reading these memes, posts, and rants and running around the house talking to themselves about how Betty Jo believes that gays should be this, or Mary Ann believes Obama is a Muslim. Really life has better ways to waste time. Has a newspaper ever done that to you?
Probably not, because you would like to believe you surround yourself with like minded people, only the false security of a computer screen gives people cajones they never had before.

With anything public there is good and bad. If you dislike FB, because of a few peoples stupid posts, and poo poo a great way to connect and communicate. That is your business to stay in the dark ages of telecommunications.

"I don't like it I wont use it, nah nah na boo boo"

Those privacy settings can mean the world to some people if they learned to use them. Block, Groups, Acquaintances, privacy are our friends when navigating Facebook.

It is your page, and you can post what ever you darn well like, except hundreds of people that you supposedly like, have to live with, and at some point will likely need to have a interaction with in the real life, are watching. They also have freedoms of opinion and if you enjoy ticking those people off, by all means keep posting flaming materials.

I admit I will occasionally post a meme, or an offensive joke, when it pertains to something I like or am doing at the time. If it offends someone, I do apologize, but only if they tell me. If they start throwing a little fit on my site I give them a warning that they have lost it and to think about why they are angry with it. If its SO totally offensive to more than one person and I am made aware, I do delete it. I am not that insensitive.

If I see something that I dont like, depending on that person and what they mean to me, I might comment though I usually just go on scrolling. Life is too short to get upset about some words that another copied and pasted. If they are super offensive...well then GOOD bye (delete), or BLOCK. Done! I can sit back and drink my coffee.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

You do know you can have more than one FB page don't you? I recommend to most people that you have one in your real name that you use to post family announcements or things you'd announce at a wedding. Remember always that your employers and often your husbands will be looking at that page. Treat it accordingly. If you would not put it on the front page of the local paper don't post it.

Then set up a second page in a nickname or whatever you want. Post away over there. Invite in your friends that are really friends and have a good time. I have one called Liberally Thinking. If you tend toward liberal or like political discussion (yes I will discuss/debate both sides.) come have a look. No, I do not make any money from it, its a safety valve....

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

I try not to voice anything political on facebook. I know for SURE that I haven't ever actually made my own posts political, however, I know there are a few times that I've felt the need to weigh in on someone else's post. That being said, there are a LOT of people now that I have "unfollowed" so I don't have to see all their political BS all of the time. I didn't "unfriend" them, because they're still nice people, even if I think they're either ignorant or misinformed, but I just don't want their stuff popping up on my newsfeed. End result, they get to keep making their comments and I don't have to see it. Everyone is happy! :)

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

It doesn't change a person's opinion. If anything, it makes people more annoyed by your constant rants. I ignore the people who post daily or sound like a broken record.

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