14 answers

Facebook and Cell Texting

I would like to hear from moms of teens on how they approach controlling Facebook and cell phone text with their teens. I have two daughters, 16 and 13. The 13 year old has just recently turned into a text and Facebook junkie. She does this for HOURS on end much to my dislike. My 16 year old did this too but then it tapered off and was replaced by her just wanting to go places with her friends. Do you limit texting and Facebook for your teens? Anyone having success doing this without meltdowns or horrendous rebellion? Both of my teens are straight-A students, thank god! I just wish they'd lay off the stupid Facebook & texting 24/7!!! I think what bugs me about this the most is that at times, I ask for things to be done and they acknowledge me but don't move to do what I asked or they conveniently "forget" because they are texting or on FB. I like FB and texting too but it doesn't interfere with me getting things done or getting sidetracked off my family's needs.

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So What Happened?™

I want to say thank you to all the Moms out there who chatted with me on this Facebook and texting subject. I appreciate the input. I'm not 100% against the electronic communication but I would like to keep balance in my house. The girls do have their priorities in the right places for the most part and they do play two different sports which hogs their time and keeps them off the computer and the texting because they are busy. We are in a downtime now with the sports though. Volleyball and soccer are played in the fall and winter here in Florida because if not, these klids would die of heat exhaustion. I will continue to accept that this is just how it is and that it replaces what I used to do...talk on the phone for hours on end to the point of my parents telling me that the phone was growing out of my ear! I think my 13 year old is so engrossed because this is all new to her whereas the older teen has the "been-there, done-that" kind of approach to it all right now. Blance....it's all about balance with me.

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I'm not there yet with my kids, it'll be a long time, thank goodness. My friend went through this a couple of years ago with her 2 teenagers. She had to change plans to unlimited texting because of a HUGE bill. When they approached her about FB or My Space she sat down with them and explained the importance of how to use it properly and to be careful with personal info, don't put it out there and only allow those you want to see it to have access. Do not let it be public. With that, she also told them the only way they could have an account is if she had access to it, log in or as a friend, so she didn't have to worry about it. They agreed and have used these sites appropriately.

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We limit Face book time. The guys can check in briefly when they get home before they get going on homework. They can take a short study break later on and if all homework and household responsibilities are done, they can Facebook some before bed.

Forgetting to do household things because they want to Facebook is a sign of disrespect. We don't allow that. When that occurs, I go to the wireless router and unplug it. BAM! Down goes the internet!
(Just make sure hubby or other kids aren't doing work online when you do that.)

My kids get all A's and are very active in activities too, and I frequently tell them how proud I am of all they do. And that Facebook or texting is a little break from their responsibilities, just like TV was for me, when I was in high school. I tell them Facebook and texting will not be a way of life for us everyday, without limits. They complain sometimes, telling me their friends stay on Face book until midnight or 1 am, and to which I say, "So sorry."

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I'm not there yet with my kids, it'll be a long time, thank goodness. My friend went through this a couple of years ago with her 2 teenagers. She had to change plans to unlimited texting because of a HUGE bill. When they approached her about FB or My Space she sat down with them and explained the importance of how to use it properly and to be careful with personal info, don't put it out there and only allow those you want to see it to have access. Do not let it be public. With that, she also told them the only way they could have an account is if she had access to it, log in or as a friend, so she didn't have to worry about it. They agreed and have used these sites appropriately.

2 moms found this helpful

Stop it before it gets out of control!!! First, phone and computer shouldn't happen until homework and chores are done. My 13 year old is an honor student too, but she still ahs to earn computer time by doing 1 extra chore a day. She can choose - laundry, mowing, whatever. Then the computer time needs to be limited. Pick an amount that works for your family. 1 hour, 2 hours, what ever. If you ask for something to be done and it does not get done, what ever they were doing, they loose. If they ignored you and kept on texting, take their phone away for a specific amount of time. It they ignored you while on fb, then computer time is over for the day. STICK TO IT!!!!

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It's called "Social Networking". Like talking on the phone, hanging with your friends after school at the local park or someone's house, except it is done with phones and computers. Straight A's is an indication they have their values and priorities in balance and are fitting in the important things. Limiting the electronics doesn't take away the thoughts. Perhaps get them involved with volunteering, sports, groups, clubs, activities that fill the space involved with the electronic communication.
Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful

Everything in moderation.
Doesn't sound like there is moderation with your 13 year old.
Set a certain amount of time she can have a screen in her face daily and stick to it--- then take away time if she neglects chores.
I obviously didn't have texting and FB as a teen, so we all talked on the phone. I was not allowed to use the phone 24/7 or neglect chores because I was too busy chatting on the phone. And phone privilages was the first to go as a punishment. Same applied with "today's" teens with texting and computer time.

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Phone and internet use had a curfew in our house. Phone was to be handed over to me by 8:00 and internet off. She was 13 at the time, that was 3 years ago. Now texting is really the biggest thing. I also have a good student, but I know that it is a hinderance to her, especially when she needs help with things around the house. We just had to set a limit and that's when she had to be done. I hope that this helps.

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Read the book Queen Bees and Wannabes - some helpful ways of dealing with connectivity with teen girls.

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This should help!

http://www.gilabrown.com/GB/Blog/Entries/2009/3/30_Contro...

Be well,
G.

1 mom found this helpful

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