23 answers

F On Report Card

My 9 year old made an F on his report card in Grammar this past 6 weeks. What is a reasonable punishment for a boy this age?

What can I do next?

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Well first of all I would say it depends on why he made an f. If he is just being defiant and refuses to do his work or care then
some sort of punishment is suitable. (restriction or whatever) But, if he is sincerely struggling in school and needs help with his work in my opinion he should not be punished. I think this gives the wrong message to a kid who needs help in school to punish them, I do not think this motivates a child who is struggling academically. And frankly I do not agree with the whole grading system for elementary school, I think there is too much emphasis put on grades.

1 mom found this helpful

I know this is rather a harsh punishment but bad grades at my house receive consequences such as.....you're not doing anything extra cirricular, playing, tv, skating, bike riding, etc. etc. For as long as it takes to bring up the grade.
B. (we are at 1 A and the rest B's from C's, D's, and F's.)

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Well first of all I would say it depends on why he made an f. If he is just being defiant and refuses to do his work or care then
some sort of punishment is suitable. (restriction or whatever) But, if he is sincerely struggling in school and needs help with his work in my opinion he should not be punished. I think this gives the wrong message to a kid who needs help in school to punish them, I do not think this motivates a child who is struggling academically. And frankly I do not agree with the whole grading system for elementary school, I think there is too much emphasis put on grades.

1 mom found this helpful

Before worrying about punishement I would be worried about the reason for the F. If he really is not grasping and comprehending the information he shouldn't be punished for it, that will just discourage him more. Each person learns differently, it could be that the teachers methods don't speak to him. I had this problem with Math my whole school career, I would really try but I just couldn't get it. Finally, I got a teacher that explained the concept in a different way that I could grasp. However if you know he got an F for sheer fooling around than a proper punishment is to get blank copies of his grammer work and have him do it while other kids are playing outside.

1 mom found this helpful

First, I think you need to figure out why he made such a bad grade. Doe he understand? Does he need extra help? Is he bored? Does he need to be challenged or given alternate work if he already knows the material? Is he scared to ask questions in class? Is he scared of what others may think if he has the wrong answer? I would talk to the teacher first, to see what is causing the F, and then you can make a decision about punishment.

Punishment is not in order. What is: for the next quarter of the school year, every evening he and you going over the parts of his grammar book he is not getting, until his grade comes up. You must be willing to sacrifice time for this, and he will learn what he has not learned. If the problem is him just not willing to work at it, he will learn that it is better to work at it at school, because if he doesn't, he will sacrifice his evenings.

Hi L.,

Did you discuss it with him first? How were his grades in general before the F ? Until these questions are answered, I couldn't really offer an opinion.

Sincerely_______

Good Morning - I do not agree with punishment for poor grades. First, is this a new thing? Or does he struggle with this as a usual thing? You might want to find out if something is going on in school that could precipitate this. Perhaps he has a learning disability (this is not shameful, but if it exists, needs to be addressed). Don't punish him as this will reinforce what I suspect might be lack of self esteem at this point. Sit with him every night over his homework, help him by giving him nudges in the right direction, and reinforce when he succeeds. Punishment for poor grades is usually punitive and increases the behaviour you are wanting to change. Talk with his teacher too - he or she might have a positive solution. Good luck.

L., Instead of focusing on his punishment, I would try to find out the cause and it might have to do with not doing his homework or turning it in on time. I have a nine year old that makes straight A's but its because I am on him daily. I make him drag his finished homework out of his folder so that I can examine it. I show him how to do better work. The teachers aren't demanding the same level of grammar and penmanship they did when we were kids 30-40 years ago. I think boys their age are easily distracted by other things that they need lots of help with their homework. They need good communication with the teachers and it has to be a priority at home- before anything else is done. Both of my kids are required to have their homework completed before I get home from work. If we have to do it over because its sloppy or incorrect then we do it twice. We did this in geade school for my 13 year old and now he sails through his classes and is a straight A student and I don't have to do anything anymore, but it all starts in grade school. Good luck L..

I would not say that it is a punishment but have him bring all of his work to you and check it. Talk to the teacher also. He may not be getting it. I have a third grader and it is a lot to learn but they can. Bringing home his work for yall to go over and discuss would help get him to understand the material better.

As a 3rd grade teacher, I am curious---did you not expect the F on the report card? Did he not have papers coming home in his folder that were poor grades? Maybe it is early in the nine weeks and they haven't had very many grades--or possibly he is hiding the failing papers from you?!

As far as punishment, I am one to have it fit the crime. The crime is an F in Grammar--punishment would include as much extra GRAMMAR work as possible. Talk with his teacher, I'm sure she'd (or he'd) be happy to send home extra practice work. OR your son could bring home his textbook and do extra work out of it. Nothing is worse than having to sit & do work when all of your friends are outside playing!

Hope this helps!

My son is 9 and had some bad grades too.

First, I went in talked to teacher to see if he was struggling or just being lazy.

When I was informed that he was being lazy, next I went home and talked to him about his laziness and the bad grades. Then I took away his favorite thing to do (x-box, gameboy, playstation, and the WII). I told him he could have these things back when the grade came up.

At his school they get weekly reports so I didn't have to go in all the time and ask the teacher. It took him about 2 weeks to get his grade to a C. I told him he had to have C to get the items back. And then he had to keep that C or make it a higher grade to keep the items.

When it fell again the items were taken away again. I have to change up what I take away too. He has a motorcycle that I take away also.

I would not call it a punishment, but simple say that he has shown you that he needs more oversight on his work. Increase communication with the teacher, review homework before turned in, set a consistent homework time that takes priority over everything else. An bad grade should never come as a surprise to you or him if you are seeing his papers come home with grades on top, it should be easy to tell what is coming.

Any special video games or something that's really special to him? First I'd talk w/his teacher to find out why he got the F...not turning in papers or not doing well on tests..etc. Talk w/him and see how he responds. Then punish accordingly. No bike, skate board, playing w/friends, video games, extra chores....until his grade comes up. Good luck!

before you punish, you might want to find out why he got an F in that subject, especially if he passed his other classes. My son failed a class when he was in grade school and I found out the teacher didn't care much about the subject he failed. All the other subjects she enjoyed teaching but the one. I found this out after meeting with the teacher to discuss the failed grade in only one subject.

If in fact the failed grade is all his responsibility, then perhaps making him spend time each day after school working on the subject he failed. Punishment can be in very many forms.

My 11 year old son is in a Martial Arts class & they have to bring there report cards to class. For any F's they have to do 200 push ups & for D's 100. These push ups are on there knuckles. He also has ADHD & has a hard time paying attention but when he does apply himself & remembers to bring his homework home he does B's & A's.

I also have a 9 year-old boy. I have not yet dealt with a poor grade on a report card, but I have dealt with punishing him for poor behavior. My son loves video games and having friends over. When I punish him, I usually take one of those privileges away for a week or two. It seems to work. You may want to try taking away a special privilege.

th scare tactic worked for me...jus knowing i had to go to summer school while everyone else was on summer vacation. : ( ..good luck...

I'd work to find out why there is an F first. Talk to the teacher, request to see his work from the quarter (I'm assuming you didn't see any papers come home or the F wouldn't have been a surprise...), talk to your son and ask what is going on. Once you seem to get to the bottom of it, then implement a consequence like no tv/computer until you've signed his grammer homework (even if he "finishes it at school", he needs to bring it home for you to sign). This has worked for my daughter and along the way we've had opportunities to fix some educational shortages that we would have missed just by implementing a consequence only. Good luck!

Do investigate the cause. If it's laziness or bad attitude, start removing privileges. However, many grammar programs are horrible and confusing. Although I now have a superb grasp of grammar and even teach it, at that age I was practically failing it and understood nothing. The reason, I now know, is that the curiculum used and the instruction received was abysmal. The grammar program at my son's school is poor, but he does fine because of what he previously learned at a different school. If bad texts or instruction is the cause, find a good tutor, who can pull him out of the grammar slump and help him appreciate and enjoy it.

Why did he make the f is he having problems with the subject, or does he need glass or some other reason that makes a cause he would not stop. If he was just paying to much time else where that you might have to sat with him when he does his homework.

Hi L.,
I'm wondering why he needs to be punished? Kids as a general rule WANT to please the adults in their lives. I teach novel writing classes for adults and have tutored kids in elementary school in our local school systems for several years. Boys usually don't "take" to grammar as quickly as girls do, again as a general rule. There are lots of learning tools available at stores such as "The Learning Tree" and Mardel's---maybe you could work with him some at home and REWARD him for his good efforts. Punishment is only going to make him resent that subject and hate it, and that will make it harder on him as he gets older. Do you live in the Oklahoma City area? If you like, you may e-mail me privately and I will be glad to help you any way I can.
C. P.
____@____.com

Being a teacher I would first talk with his teacher to see why he made the F....does he not know the material or is he goofing off in class. And then you will know which way to go. I know from personal experience it is very hard to be a part time single parent trying to help two kids and not having a lot of help at home. If I can help you in any way let me know.

I agree with Amy, it would depend on why he made the F. I am going through this with my son and ex husband right now. Every teacher my son has had has mentioned that they believe that my son has an attention disorder. I have begged my ex to have him tested for ADD, but he wouldn't do it. My son's frustration has begun to show about his school work and he was in a fight at school a couple of weeks ago and this finally got my ex's attention. We are now getting everything in the works to have him tested. Meanwhile, my son's teacher and I email back and forth and talk on the phone at least once a week, and my ex has phone conferences with her on a weekly basis. I am also very hands on in helping my son with his homework when he is with me. I find it very hard to punish my child for his two bad grades when I know he can't help it--I want to punish my ex!! BUT, if my son was intentionally being defiant and not doing the work, then he would probably be grounded from his video games for two weeks (he's only a year older than your son...)

I know this is rather a harsh punishment but bad grades at my house receive consequences such as.....you're not doing anything extra cirricular, playing, tv, skating, bike riding, etc. etc. For as long as it takes to bring up the grade.
B. (we are at 1 A and the rest B's from C's, D's, and F's.)

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