EXTREMELY Large Age Gap Between Births

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Of course it will be an adjustment to everyone (including yourself!), but I would treat it as the blessing it is and let the excitement grow naturally (as it will!). I think the same sibling feelings apply regardless of the age gap: always a mixture of pride, love, and sometimes a little jealousy. It's natural to feel all those things, no matter what your age. I have a 22 year-old step-daughter, my husband and I have a 4 and a 5 year-old together, and now we have twin granddaughters who are 2. In this day and age, we hardly get a blink! Then again, my dad's half brother and sister are a year younger and a year older than I am, respectively. We got quite the smile out of that growing up! Each family is unique and perfect! :)

2 moms found this helpful

When I was 20 my mom had my younger brother. Then when I was 22 she had my youngest brother. I already had 2 younger brothers who are 2 and 4 years younger than me. None of us every felt any resentment or detachment from our younger siblings and we are quite close with them. Having brothers so young gave me an interesting perspective on my parents, my childhood and having my own family (which followed shortly after that). I was able to see my mom as a mom, parent, friend and sister all equally. My kids and their uncles are 1.5 years apart (my oldest child and my youngest brother, my son is younger) and they get along like cousins. My brothers treat me no differently than they treat each other meaning that I am their sister, big sister yes, mom to their nephews and nieces yes, but an adult, no. I am a sister and always will be. Now that they are nearing teen years, its interesting to watch them grow up and be so similar to me and my other 2 brothers and yet so different. I can see my kids growing up with them as role models, they are truly good kids and I chalk that up to the mom I watch raise them (ok, dad too). If you care enough to be worried like you are, you are on the right track!

1 mom found this helpful

MY kids are 19yrs 3 weeks to the day apart. my oldest treats his brother like his son. they are very close. 2 of my steps were no help at all and one of them is a big help and my son is a big help. my kids and steps are 21 , 20, 18, and was 16 now deceased. they will accept him in thier own way and own time.

1 mom found this helpful

I am in the same boat with you! I have a 17 year old and a 11 year old. And I'm prego!! I will be 3 months this week. My daughter will be 18 in november so I will have a 18 year difference. Needless to say I was very shocked and worried also what my kids would say. And putting one through college and one through diapers:) My youngest is a moma's boy so I thought he would be jealous but he is sooo excited even says he'll share his room. While my oldest seems excited but says we gotta move cause she isn't sharing her room! I was very concerned and worried the first few week after finding out that I didn't tell everyone till just over a week ago. But now everyone is excited! I do feel like I'm starting all over expecially after that long you get rid of everthing and your kids are independent. But the nervousness is starting to go away and I am finally getting excited.
I'm sure the kids might be jealous when the baby comes because the baby will get more attention but I think all olders siblings go through that. I did with my daughter being 6 and my son being born. My daughter would always say" all you do is feed that baby" But it goes away when they learn they can help.
Good Luck with your little blessing!!

I know a lot who have big age gaps. Some 10 years apart to as you over 20 years. Things are just fine in their homes. They say as for their kids it is great because they gave the first one all kinds of one on one and now they are in college and they get to give this new baby the same time as the first. I wish you all the best.

My two sister and one brother are 16, 18, and 19 years older then me. I grew up with their children who are now 19, and 21. Also my mother and grandmothers chidren are all within 2-4 years in age difference. Imagine that...you and your mom prego together lol. Now me and my neice who is more like my little sister are 24 and 21 and my daughter is 2 and her son is 1.

My mom had a huge age gap between my oldest sister and youngest bro/sis--- 24 years. :) you're not alone.

I am an only child. My mom got pregnant when I was 19, and I was over the moon with excitement. She ended up miscarrying.

Just wanted to say that your daughter will most probably be delighted. The other kids too. Just be happy and enjoy your pregnancy.

My SIL has a 21y, 11y, 3y, and a 2y grandson.

My grandmother was pregnant with my youngest uncle when my dad graduated from high school...so you're not alone on this one!

I'm not sure why you think any of your or your husband's children won't be excited about the new baby, but, if they really are, I would simply tell them that love is infinite and that just because you love a baby doesn't mean you don't have love left to give them. Time, on the other hand, may be in short supply. I would let them know that a new baby requires lots of time and attention, the same time and attention THEY received when they were babies. I would include the visiting children in the love and care of the new baby whenever they're over. If you're all a family, then helping out is part of the deal.

When I was in jr. high school, my dad married a wonderful woman with three sons and a daughter. I was delighted to finally have brothers. I was not so delighted that I had chores when I went to visit because I was only there on weekends. After a few weeks of this, I let fly a sassy comment and my stepmom turned to me and said that I was part of her family, same as "her" children. If I was going to be a part of the family, then by gosh and by golly, I was going to BE a part of the family. I was floored because it was the EXACT same thing my mom always said to me! (I was sure all women went to mom school to learn these great lines...little did I know... <g>) After that, I had no problems with my "weekend" chores.

I hope you can do something similar with the new baby.

Good luck!

Nope, a neighbor friend of ours had a 19 yr old and then found out that she was expecting #2 after what she thought was the start of menopause. My dad is 5 months older than his aunt. Nothing was out of the ordinary with either family. Congratulations!

I have a 13 year old stepson and my husband and I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. I'm sure it will be an adjustment for your husbands other children. However the best thing you can do is include his children in as much of the baby planning as possible. Whether it is a shopping trip for baby(let them help pick out some stuff for their new baby sister or brother), talking about how neat it will be to have a new sibling and how they can help out, read books about becoming a big brother or sister. At our hospital there was a class for siblings to take and it taught them in a kid friendly way what to expect with a new baby in the house. For his older children just make them fill loved and talk to them. I'm sure there were times and probably are still times when my husbands son feels a little jealous. But his two younger siblings adore him and always greet him with squeals of excitment when he comes to our house.

Good luck. And most of all, congratulations on your pregnancy :)

I have an 18yr old, a 17yr old and and a 2 yr old. The other kids have loved having him.

My brothers are 15, 16, and 17 years older than me. It was only positive in every way. They spoiled me, took care, of me and made me always feel like I had more people there for me. I got to have a bigger family but all the perks of being an only child.

I come from a blended family. My father had 5 kids, His new wife had 4. Two years into their marriage, they had one together. The next oldest girls were 7 years, one on each side of the family. We have been fortunate to have all mostly gotten along, not of course without the typical favoring issues common among blended families. But the new baby really brought us all together. It's sometimes difficult now that we are all older and on our own, she is still at home (15 now), to remember that there is still a child being raised - birthdays, phone calls, etc. But she was never a negative issue in our home(s).

Good luck!