Experiences with Sharing a Room

Hi C.,
I have three boys. The oldest two are 3 years apart, the younger 5 years younger than the middle one. The two older ones shared the same room as soon as the second was old enough to be out of my room. They learned to share toys and space and work out differences. I think it was good for them to do so. The younger of the two was put to bed 1/2 hour earlier than the oldest after they were both in school so I could spend time with the oldest on homework.

The "baby" shared the room with them his first winter because the front room was too cold for him. He then had his own room until his oldest brother was in Jr. High School. The oldest then had the single room through High School. The middle took over that room then because he wanted the big desk and privacy.

Sharing rooms helps them become close,learn to relate to each other, work out difference rather then becoming possessive of "their own" room and material things. None boys never said anything negative about sharing the room with a brother. If done early, they just accept it as part of the way a family runs.
Congratulations on your sons!....I am partial to boys having had three:0
H.

I have a 9 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter. They shared a room until a month ago.

When she turned 1 yr old, she started to sleep on the pull out twin mattress (from under my son's twin bed). I would nurse her to sleep and leave when she conked out. At 5, I still lie with her until she conks out. Not a big deal for me. I did that with both my kids.

Anyway, it was fine. They were used to it. The only reason I separated them was because a) they have a lot of toys/stuff and I wanted her to have her own room with her own stuff... basically her own space, so she could have privacy.

But lots of sibling share rooms until they grow up and it works out.

My 9 yr old son does miss his sister sometimes. Some kids are heavy sleepers and some aren't. My kids never really woke the other up with crying, unless someone jumped on their bed.

hey i just wanted to let you kow my boys are 2 years and 2 months apart and having been sharing a room since the little one was 1. it has worked out great. there have been times when the bab has woke the older one up but not enough to where he didnt just fall back asleep. and now that my kids are almost 2 and 4 they are sharing a full size bed to sleep in and they love it.

My kiddos are 22 months apart, and have shared a room since my youngest was a little over one. Its never been a problem, although occasionally I will have to stagger bedtimes a bit since they like playing together a little too much. ;)

I shared a room with my sister for 20 years, we never seemed to have a problem. Don't borrow trouble until it gets there... I would ask you to think back about when you were a child and if you shared a room. Now the other point is that if your children need perfect conditions and total peace and quiet to get to sleep it will be a LONG road, you've seen your 20 month old sleeping everywhere right? They will be fine together!
have a great pregnancy and relax.
Play with your son now, while you can. He will love the attention. good luck, Deb

I have several friends whose children share rooms and none of them say it is a problem at all. The kids don't seem to keep each other up at this age and often won't even wake up if the other is crying. One friend even has three girls in the same room and it's never been a problem.

K.
http://oc.citymommy.com

I have 2 girls exactly 2 1/2 years apart. After a few months in our room the baby went into the room with sister. Her crib was set up in the room before she was born. We talked to our older daughter about how exciting and fun it would be. She had no problem sharing the room. We would put the baby down about 730/8pm and wait 1/2 hour to put down the older one. She got special time with mommy and daddy to read extra books or play a board game. then we laid her down. As the baby got older sometimes she would still be awake when we went to lay down the older one. We would tell her good night again and go to sleep. Now they both go to bed at pretty much the same time although we do keep the older one up a little later for some special time every now and then. Yes sometimes they do keep each other up. We hear them on the monitor chit chatting. its so cute. This is rare for us though. I think if you give your son an understanding of this is how life is he will figure it out. We have a 3rd bedroom but it is downstairs and I just couldn't see me having one down there all by themself. The nice thing is we have a toy room/den/office downstairs and the kids bedroom is never messy or distracting. They really don't play in there so its always neat. The toy room is another story but I kind of figure that is what it is for. I never have to worry what I will step on in the middle of the night if someone needs me. Good luck and congratulations!

My boys are 2 years and 3 months apart. My first son was a great sleeper until the end of my pregnancy. He started coming in our room every night. After the baby was born he kept coming in for months. We put them together when my second baby was 4 or 5 months old. My first son woke up my second son every night for months. I finally put my first son in with my daughter. He started sleeping through the night. My baby started sleeping through the night after that too. I am a firm believer in baby having their own room if you have the space. I will put the boys back together when my second one is 3 or so. Good luck.

I have 2 boys who are 15 months apart and they have shared a room since the baby was about 5 mos old and was sleeping through the night at about the same schedule as his older brother. I was very anxious about how the whole nightime sleeping situation would work with 2 babies in the same room - I never did well with night wakings - but it has never really been a problem and they love sharing a room (they are 4 and 3 now). When the 2nd baby was born, we kept him in our room in a pack-n-play (in a large walk-in closet). We gradually worked toward having him on the same nightime schedule as his big brother. By the time the baby was about 2-3 months old, they had the same bedtime, but I woke the baby before I went to bed a few hours later to feed him, then he would sleep until morning. When he was about 5 months old, I felt he was probably ready to go all night and didn't need that late night feeding, so he went to bed in his crib in his big brother's room (I had been putting him in the crib for his morning naps so he was a bit familiar). He slept through the night that first night and has ever since (aside from illnesses :).

Even on the few ocassions when one of them has cried in the middle of the night, it rarely bothers the other one. I can remember tending to the baby one night - his screaming had not woken his big brother, but when I got something out of a drawer and made a small noise closing it, THAT woke him up. We've even had vomiting accidents and changing sheets in the middle of the night, and if the other boy is aware of it, he goes right back to sleep. When they were under 2 years old and disturbed by the other one, they might have needed a little snuggle from Mommy or Daddy before going back to sleep, but now, we just give a little pat and a kiss and they are already asleep again.

My boys love sharing a room and I think it has added to their closeness as brothers - they really are fond of each other, even though they can fight like brothers, too! They have their little bit of time alone together in their beds when they go to bed at night, and in the morning before I get them up, and they talk and sing together (and sometimes get into mischief!) and I think they are very sweet, adorable brothers. I'm sure the room sharing for your boys will be great and you will figure out a smooth transition that will work for all of you. Best wishes!

I wonder if today's parents, with all the advantages they probably had, and can perhaps still give their children, over think things! When we were growing up, kids shared rooms because there was no other choice. A girl and a boy usually did have separate rooms after they reached a certain "advanced" age, even if one was in an attic or other auxiliary space, but other than that, kids usually shared, boys with boys and girls with girls. In New York City, as graduate students, we slept in the living room along with the baby, and the four children shared two rooms, the girl in one, and three boys in another. A bunk bed and a trundle took care of it.

My children always shared rooms up to a certain age. At one time, I had two toddlers and a baby in one sleeping "porch" which could only be entered through one older child's room. No problems, probably because we didn't anticipate any! As the older children (4 of them) moved out and on to college or their own apartments, each child got his or her own room. The sleeping porch became a play room.

I think that learning to share, learning to accommodate to the habits and needs of others, learning to compromise, are all part of growing up and becoming responsible adults. Also, memories that you share with your siblings, even sharing a room when it isn't always convenient, end up being priceless as you grow older. So, if you need to have your sons share a room, just do it!

S. Toji

C.

I have three children and my two youngest share a room. My two year old daughter and my 14 month old son. They love it. I was scared too. they are less than a year apart daughter was always a good sleeper. My son was in our room for the first 31/2 four months than in his crib. Not a co sleeper mom at all! I did drop my two year ols morning nap so my son takes a morning nap alone in the room both kids dressed at same time then he is down from 9 - 11 am play time lunch etc both take great afternoon naps together from about 1 or 1:30 ish to about 4ish and they talk to eachother help eachother and fall asleep together my two year old is so tired even if he is still up she goes to sleep and vis vera. At night the same down together at 7:30 and talk etc and down it's great however I do think they miss eachother when the other is not there. Where is bro bro etc

Good luck

All of my four kids have shared a room, and I really didn't have any problems. They only woke each other up a couple of times before they each learned to sleep through anything.

we have our kids similar age apart (just a little further) and while we originally tried puting the baby in there at about 5.5 months, it was disastrous and we had to take him back out of their room. We were not successfull at getting them to share a room until the baby was about 9 months old and sleeping through the night. That was just our reality. In the meantime he slept in our room in a pack and play.

My 23 month old son and 10 month old daughter share a room and have for the past 4 months. The LOVE it! Surprisingly, very rarely does one wake the other up. They both go down every night at the same time, and generally wake up at the same time, but even when one of them has occassionally waken up in the middle of the night or fussed, he/she hasn't woken the other up. And they talk and giggle in the mornings while waiting for us to come in. It's very cute and comforting for them to know the other is there I think. When my eldest goes down first and my daughter still hasn't gone to sleep/come into the room, he will ask "Sissy awake? Is sissy going nigh nigh?", constantly asking for her until she's in the room as well, and as soon as she comes in he goes to sleep. So I think it's helping them bond even more as well. We do have the cribs far apart enough where they can't mess with each other though, since we're worried that my son sometimes doesn't realize how "strong" his love is (he will try to hug Sissy by hugging her neck sometimes, which could get scary if left alone).

My five year old son shares a room with his 3 year old sister and now also their 14 month old son. No problems.

The mantra I started with my son, when he first started sleeping in the same room as his sister was this: At what time may you get up...when the sun comes up. What will you do when your sister cries...close my eyes and go back to sleep.
We still have our two older ones say this before they enter the room as we are putting them to bed. We do prayer and songs in our bed, then we transfer them to their beds.

Totally works if you want it to work.
Good luck

C., My girls are 3 years apart and every since the younger one was born they have shared a room. Well actually, like you in the begining she stayed in my room but when able she and sister shared room. I never had a problem of the baby waking up the older one because my older one is a very sound sleeper and has been since she was 2 months old. They are now 11 and 8 and we are starting to have problems sharing because of older one homework and school, not the sleeping and keeping awake or not. Just normal growing up stuff. My sister and I shared a room until I was in high school so my girls will too. Just don't have room to seperate and don't have money for another house. Good luck with your new son and enjoy your family.

I have four boys, 6,5,4 and 3 years old. They all share a room and it works good. Occasionaly we need to monitor nap time since they two little guys like to play, but other than that, it's great.