I haven't been able to read through all your responses, but I will recommend Dr. Sears' "The Vaccine Book." You can get it for about $10 on Amazon.com. It details each vaccine and tells you what is in it and talks about the issue of overdosing on aluminum, which has replaced mercury as a preservative in most vaccines. Most importantly, he gives you honest information about the diseases that each vaccine covers - how severe it really is, who is most susceptible to it, and AT WHAT AGES each is most dangerous to your baby. For example, if a child is in the most danger from a disease between birth and six months, and he doesn't receive full protection from a vaccine until his booster shot at 1 year, that doesn't make much sense?! He also includes a modified vaccination schedule. I understand that most of the recommended vaccines are on this schedule, he just spreads them out and delays them.
I can't tell you what would be best for your daughter. You are right that it is difficult to get unbiased information from either side. Like everything else in life, and especially medical care, it is an issue of weighing risks and benefits and making the best decisions you can for your daughter. I would say, don't feel rushed to make a decision by the time her checkup gets here. If you are waiting on a book, or still weighing your options, that is okay. Most doctor's offices will allow you to schedule an "outpatient" appt for vaccinations, and you do not have to pay your office visit fee. You just bring baby in and get shots and go. For those who say you should vaccinate for the public good... I will just say that a parent's job is to take care of his or her child, not everyone elses! The idea that a few children are expendable for the greater good is horrific. Shame on you.
You are right that the fact that you stay at home and do not put your daughter in daycare reduces the risk of her contracting communal diseases. If she is breastfeeding, she is even more protected, as she receives every antibody you have in your own immune system - pretty cool and a totally safe alternative to vaccines!! Remember that anytime she does get a vaccine, she should be totally healthy. Not even the sniffles or a cough, though most doctors will still vaccinate a baby in that case. If her immune system is already under fire, it would be wise not to stress it further. Also, keep her home for a couple days after her vaccination, as some vaccines can shed from her body and expose other children to whatever disease your daughter was just vaccinated for.
Personally, we delayed vaccinating and were very selective of the vaccinations we gave both of our daughters. Our doctor recommended the HIB and Pneumococcal (Prevnair) vaccines, and also DTaP. With our first, we did HIB & Pneum together, two shots every other month, and then we did her DTaP shots every other month. When she is much older - at LEAST school age - we will give her the MMR. For our second daughter, we have declined the HIB, as we learned from her doctor that HIB has been largely eradicated. We are contemplating the chickenpox vaccine if they have not had it by the time they are teenagers.
There are still A LOT of questions about vaccines, and you are wise to ask them. Despite scare tactics to the contrary, many diseases that we vaccinate for are not life-threatening. (Chickenpox? Come on! The only kids who die from chickenpox are severely immune compromised already.) The are finding out that for some vaccines, like HepB, by giving them to babies they wear off by the time the child needs it most - when he becomes a sexually active adult. I always remind myself of the fact that vaccine companies are making billions of dollars every year. Doctors are making billions of dollars by giving your child vaccines. I am not saying that doctors are corrupt and in it for the money, but they believe what they are taught, and vaccine companies are expending huge amounts of money "educating" doctors. I think there is an amount of skepticism that is healthy. Do your research, don't allow yourself to be bullied, and take the time you need to make the right decisions for your children.
Best of Luck,
By the way - Many proponents of vaccines are pointing to outbreaks of diseases that we are vaccinated for as reason to require vaccines. Some even blame non-vaxing parents for them. What they fail to mention (because it is rarely reported by the doctors or the media) is that it is often children who have been vaccinated who are getting the diseases. During a recent outbreak of chickenpox back east, 86% of the affected children were fully vaccinated!!