Experience with Open Adoption Process????

I have no experience with an open adoption but have the name of an attorney that my partner and I used. My partner and I are legally married in the state of Mass, and I gave birth to our son 19 months ago. Even though my partner's name was on the birth certificate, and she was legally the other mom, we decided to have her adopt our son.

Our attorney is a lesbian in Boston, and we thought she was great. I don't know if she would be of any help, but here's her info.

The attorney's name is Donna Turley, though we dealt mostly with her assistant, Kristine Grimes.

Glickman Turley LLP
250 Summer St
Boston, MA 02210
###-###-####
www.glickmanturley.com

Good Luck!

Peace,
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi H., I have no experience with open adoption or baby adoption for that matter. I adopted a girl 6 years ago,@ 5 1/2 yrs old, closed adoption, although I did send pics to the birth mom for the first few years. My daughter is 12 and I just want to congratulate you on your decision and impending parenthood. As difficult as it has been, I can't imagine my life without her. Good Luck and God Bless.
K.

The only experience I have ever had with open adoptions is on the Reservation in Princeton, ME.
BUT, the NA culture is much different than ours. They consider the tribe a family unit, it doesnt matter WHO brings up the child as long as it stays on the Res and is raised by a NA family. It is very common for a young girl to get preggers , go to a woman who cannot have children and ask her if she wants the baby. Or for a childless woman, or one who wants more children, to approach the pregnant ( usually) teenager and ask her for her baby. The child will know who its mother and father is, will be visited by them, will visit them, but call the adoptive woman Mum and her husband, Dad.
They often do take legal steps, secure a lawyer and have either guardianship papers or adoption, drawn up.
I have also seen, when there were no adoption papers, the birth mother, after she has grown and matured for eight to ten years, come and take the child back. No papers, no recourse for the adopting mum.
In the case I refer to the birth mother brought the boy back to his adoptive home in less than a year.
Personally I feel an open adoption is the very best way to handle an adoption. Leaves no "hanging chads" so to speak and the child has a known background to grow from. No questions left unanswered. Mentally healthy I should think.
Of course on the Res a nine year old will know the genealogy of every family there...it is quite amazing.
So, I would strongly recommend you secure legal help with this, have adoption papers drawn up ect.
I think you can and should discuss the "open" aspect with the birth Mum and decide how open it will all be. Photos and annual or semi annual visits? Or weekly?
I think you need to decide this all NOW before you do the papers thingy.
Good for you !!! And congratulations on your new baby !!!
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

Hi H.!
We adopted our little (OK, no longer so little --He's 7 and ahalf)boy from the Phillipines. And although a overseas adoption is somewhat different than a domestic( and open) adoption, in Massasachusetts, prospective adoptive parents, regardless of the type of adoption, need to have a home study thru an adoption agency. Wide Horizons for Children handled ours from start to finish (including the legal/ court/finalization stuff)and they do also handle domestic adoptions and I believe they have services for birthmoms too.

We have little info on our son's birthmom and have no contact with her. However, we do send pics and updates to the orphanage he lived in and the sisters love them and its there should his birthmom ever seek it out...And the whole adoption process, as overwhelming as it seemed at times, was well worth it.

Good luck!!!

hi H.~

my husband and i adopted our son two and a half years ago, and we have an open adoption... which means that we send pictures and letters (thru the agency) on a yearly basis. on our son's birthday, the birthfather's mom sends a card to our son (again thru agency).
i would try to find an adoption lawyer b/c you want to make sure that all t's are crossed, etc. are you in massachusetts? if so, i would be more than happy to give you the name of the lawyer that we used. the birthmother will need to "sign" the baby over to you, legally, 4 days after the birth (not before that... again, if you are in ma)... then the earliest that you can go to court for the actual, legal adoption is 6 months later. you also have to make sure that the birthfather signs over all rights as well.
i would call an adoption lawyer though... s/he will know all rules, etc. but that is the basic run down.
please let me know if you want anymore info from me.

good luck!
K.

I am going through the adoption process as we speak and it is a long process. I am in MA so the department of children and families has to come out once a month for home visits until the process is complete.
Within the first week I was granted temporary custody I had three home visits. They just want to make sure your home is safe and there is room for the child. You should get a lawyer that specializes in adoption first and maybe contact DCF or Planned Parenthood for guidance on the process.

Good luck with everything, You are doing a wonderful thing.

Be yourself have faith and ask her if you and your partners would adopt her baby you will be surprise what she might say i am sure she wants what is best for her baby
best of luck

...you also have to have an agency working w/you in MA. Other states have difft laws. You will need to get a homestudy done (sometimes this can take awhile, so don't delay-it involves 3 visits w/you and your home as well), CORE background checks, doctor's OKs, etc. There is a LOT involved, but as an adoptive mom of TWINS (we hit the jackpot with a boy and a girl, now 7 months, we LOVE THEM!) I can tell you it is ALL worth it! You have a HUGE advantage knowing a birthmom already- that is the hardest part, waiting for one! I'd say get in touch w/an agency and start your process if you are 100000% sure you want to do this. Good luck!
PS Ours is an open adoption, we send photos all the time, have a great relationship w/birthmom and her family.

How very exciting! I personally don't have any experience with adoption...but my advise would be to contact a good adoption attorney from the start! They should be able to answer all your questions and help you along your entire and exciting journey!

I wish you much luck in your endeavor!!

H. Z.

H.,
I'm not sure of the area you live, but I am in Vermont. I would suggest contacting Lund Family Center for some guidance. Lund is a nonprofit that provides care and education for young mothers but also facilitates the adoption process if that is what the biological mother chooses. You can find out more about the Lund Family Center online at http://www.lundfamilycenter.org/ .

I hope this helps.
M. P.

Hi H.,
We have a 2 year old son who was adopted Domestically. We used WHFC (www.whfc.org) as well and we had a very positive experience with them and we are currently in the process again. They do allow for Identified adoptions (where the birthparents & adoptive parents find each other). They should be able to at least give you some info even if you decide not to use them. You do need to use an agency in MA. Good luck! I hope it goes smoothly for all involved:)
C.

Hi H.,
This is a legal process. You need to get a lawyer to guide you. The birth mother may also need a lawyer but maybe not. Everything needs to be in the agreement such as what type of contact is agreed upon. The lawyer can also guide you as to what the laws are in your State regarding a birth mother changing her mind. If you do not have a lawyer you might ask the Mamasource community for recommendations.
Good Luck.

Call the Mass Bar Attorney Referral Service:

Toll-free in Massachusetts: (866) MASS-LRS, or (866) 627-7577.
In the Boston area: ###-###-####.
TTY for hearing impaired clients: ###-###-####.

Ask them for the name of an attorney specializing in adoptions and go from there.

Hi H., congrats first off! And second you need a LAWYER!! You need one with experience in open adoptions ect... I would do this as soon as possible, you want to have all the legal stuff complete before the baby is born, without that it is all a free game for the birth mom. She could give you the baby, then say she wants it back ect... I would get an attorney today, and maybe hire one for her as well so that everything is explained right and she is also protected. Good luck:))