Exhaustion

Updated on February 07, 2008
M.B. asks from Summerville, SC
35 answers

HELP! I'm a 20 something first time expecting Mom and I'm at the 24 week mark- why is that ALL I want to do is come home and sit in the recliner, or on my couch? I can't get motivated to do anything. I can't even wake up when I say I'm going to. I'm getting decent sleep, but lately I've been having a hard time sleeping at night and this is without napping on the couch/ recliner. I feel very old, and cranky all the time. I can't seem to get out of this rut. And although I know this growing belly should make me excited, I'm still bummed about losing my prepregnancy pants, and even more bummed at the thought of losing my belly button for a little while. Tell me I'm normal. Everyone else just looks at me like I'm crazy.

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So What Happened?

Wow. I had no idea I would get so many responses on here. Thanks for all the advice, I have a dr appt tomorrow, so, I will ask them to check my iron levels, and after that, I will just follow the rest of the advice on here and not lift a finger unless I want to- and NOT feel guilty about it either. Thanks!

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S.T.

answers from Spartanburg on

It kind of normal for you to be this way.Or you taking vitamins.That will help a lot.I took lots of b-12 when I was pregnant with my son.Good luck and rest when you need to,you will need it when the baby gets here.
S.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Very normal!!!!!

Tired may mean low iron or just the fact that the baby is growing (later a very good thing).

Mood swings happen.

It's okay to be bummed about losing pre preg pants and belly button for a while - but always remember the belly buttom WILL come back and the pre preg pants CAN be worn again (will take a little exercise most likely).

Just enjoy this time - I know that's easier said than done :)

~A.

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C.W.

answers from Charleston on

Hi M.,
I love your email - pregnancy is such a time of change including our bodies growing rounder and weirder to accomodate for those little inhabitants that are growing inside of us. It's normal and appropriate to "grieve" our prepregnancy bodies. Something that may help with these feelings and at the same time help with having trouble sleeping at night is prenatal yoga - Willis offers a class at Satsang yoga www.jivamuktiyogasc.com (first class is free to try it) or there is yogamamakarmakid.com in mt. pleasant - or just taking a 20-30 minute walk each day. As for feeling tired the rest of the day, you might want to check with your practitioner to make sure you are not deficient in iron. Good food sources of iron include red meat, some beans, leafy greens, prunes, and molasses (great added to an apple cinnamon bread). Also cooking in a cast iron pan is great for adding iron to your diet. And eating vitamin c rich food to complement iron rich foods helps your body to absorb the iron better. Avoid caffine because it decreases your iron absorption. If you have a blood test and you are defficient in iron, do not worry about your baby too much - s/he is usually getting what they need from your body regardless. Also, it is common to feel somewhat more sleepy during pregnancy - our natural oxytocin levels are higher in pregnancy to enhance our nutrient absorption, reduce stress, and conserve energy by making us more sleepy (for some good info about this go to www.sarahjbuckley.com and read her articles about hormones). You are normal - it's ok to feel the way you do - be gentle with yourself and eventually you'll probably enjoy being pregnant. Congratulations...
Warmly,
C. Witbeck
Birthing From Within Mentor and Doula in Charleston SC

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M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I was extremely tired too. All of the time. However if i made myself walk or exercise for thirty minutes i always felt better. But there were days where i literally had to drag myself outside so i would actually get off my tail. Also don't expect to be like every woman when it comes to post partum reshaping. Some women bounce back a month later some take a year and some never get there again. I can almost bet if you stay active and work out your recovery will be much easier.

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R.C.

answers from Atlanta on

You are growing a HUMAN BEING. Cut yourself a break. Take a nap. Take your vitamins. You will have hormonal crankiness from time to time. I cried at every Hallmark commercial. Just knowing you aren't a mutant helps. Remember this pregnancy is a temporary condition. Pretty soon you'll be strolling junior all over town showing him off. Remember to take time for yourself and meet other moms in your area. You'll have a lot of fun. Good luck.
Becky Castro
mom to Juan-12, Isabel-7, Alex-4 and Ella-2

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A.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hey there, This is A. Davis. OK this is normal. You have the right to be exausted, you have a baby that is taking all your energy. I got very lazy midway to the end of my pregencies. I would not let anyone tell you that you are being lazy. My suggestion is get as much sleep as you can now. If only we could store it.
Have a blessed day,
A.

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T.G.

answers from Savannah on

Welcome to Motherhood! LOL! It's normal or what can be considered normal. Every pregnancy is different and if you are really concerned you should talk to your doctor. But restasure, it really is normal.

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G.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, hopefully you are not depressed. Might want to have that evaluated. It's normal to feel more tired at certain times when you are pregnant but if you are in good health, I would think you would mostly feel good. I definitely would stay busy, go places, walk a lot and you will probably start to feel more energy. Speaking for myself, I was 25 and 28 when I had my sons and other than periodic heartburn late in pregnancy and some tiredness early in pregnancy, I felt wonderful, mentally and physically. Check with your regular doctor or ob/gyn for any underlying medical problems that may have been brought to light by your pregnancy. You are very young and I hope and pray that you will have a positive experience with your first pregnancy and delivery. Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from Atlanta on

as everyone else said- you are normal. but take a little time while you are sitting and jump online to look at the symptoms for PPD and depression during pregnancy just incase. If you begin experiencing REAL depression- ie- you cry constantly and want to die- go see your doctor and get help. Unless that happens- enjoy the ride- it'll be gone in a flash.good luck

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D.M.

answers from Savannah on

M.,
I had to chuckle reading your mail. First let me say congratulations and then let me ask if this was a planned pregnancy. Everyones pregnancy is different and your hormones are raging! My sister in law needed a lot of sleep in her first few months...in my first pregnancy I had "morning" sickness all day for 6 months. Literally,I woke up crying knowing I was about to vomit. Third pregnancy my ankles swelled so badly it was painful to walk. If someone gives you a crazy look,give them one back or hand them a book on pregnancy but don't let it bother you. If your doctor says you're healthy and baby is healthy and you are getting all of the iron you need with your prenatal vitamins,get your sleep-and don't feel bad about it. Soon enough your days of lying down when you need to are over for a long time ;)
Hope you get your energy back soon,
Dee-Dee

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S.E.

answers from Atlanta on

Welcome to motherhood!

First, please contact your OBGYN if you feel anything is wrong. These symptoms may warrant a quick visit in between check-ups just to be sure.

Then, sleep. When you wake up, sleep some more! I was teaching school when pregnant with my first and I stopped giving tests after lunch because I would fall asleep while the children were so quiet!

Also, give yourself a break!!!!! You're making a baby. You're not lazy; you ARE exhausted! I took naps every day and still went to bed on time. Listen to your body and obey. You'll only hurt yourself if you don't. There are NO PRIZES FOR SUPER WOMAN BEHAVIOR!

Your blood volume has DOUBLED! Your body's focus now is keeping you just alive enough for your baby to survive and be born. There is no extra for you so you must take it. Remember that it's okay to be tired (even as a young woman) and that you will feel normal again...with a beautiful reminder of what life is all about.

Good luck and Sweet Dreams!

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D.T.

answers from Atlanta on

It will pass, don't worry! The beginning of my pregnancy I was just like you. I couldn't even say "Hi" to my husband when he got home and couldn't move a finger. Just let it be. Your body is still adjusting to your situation and everything is being directed and used to form your little baby inside you. Let people say whatever they want and just relax.

Enjoy your pregnancy! I hope it goes as smooth as mine.

The best of luck,

Dany

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D.H.

answers from Charleston on

Hip hip hooray! I'm so excited that you are waiting for the surprise! I waited to find out the sex of my child. When the doctor said "It's a girl!", it was the happiest and most exciting day of my life. There are very few surprises in life and this was worth the wait. I suggest that you enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy and sleep as often as your body needs it. Once that baby comes, you won't be getting a lot of sleep...probably for the next 18 years! You are very normal. All I wanted to do was sleep when I was pregnant and I'm so gald that I did. I don't get much sleep now with a 22 month old. If it makes you feel any better...I put on 86 lbs and lost 50 lbs during the first month of my daughters life...the remaining 36 lbs have been a little more difficult to take off. Breastfeeding helped drop the weight. Your belly button will be back to normal soon and your child will be playing with it before you know it! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi M.. I'm a first time mom, too, and I'm now at 33 1/2 weeks. Don't worry about your old pants (I've had to go up in size on my pregnancy pants, even) or how tired you feel (for a long time I was taking a nap everyday). Just take rest when you feel you need to. I had a friend who told me that she gained a lot of weight during preganancy, but she felt great, and she had the mindset that it took her 9 months to put on the weight, so she gave herself 9 months to get it off. And she's incredibly fit and gorgeous, still. I would just try not to let yourself feel pressured to do, or be, any particular way, and enjoy this process. I've heard that walking helps. Good luck with your pregnancy journey!

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C.E.

answers from Atlanta on

He M., I am a work from home mom of three and I can completely relate to your tired pregnancy! When I was expecting my first child, I would come home from work, nap till dinner time, eat and then go back to bed. Our bodies are doing so very much work developing a little human being in our womb during pregnancy that it's pretty amazing we have energy to do anything else! :) And if it's your first pregnancy, your body has never done this before, so it's especially new and different. It's perfectly normal to feel really tired.

I think it's perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about your body changes too. After all, while it's still yours, someone else is taking over for a while and you have no control over the shape it takes or how/when it is going to change. Basically, pregnancy and motherhood completely change your life forever. While some of those changes are scary for us at first, once the baby comes most of us are so overcome with awe at the new human we have delivered into the world that the feelings of doubt start to fade. Other doubts will creep in later of course, but you deal with those as they come along. One day at a time. :)

HTH,
C. Eads
Mom of 3 and "book lady"
www.FindTheDuck.com

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A.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

There is no such thing as normal, and if you think you are tired now - wait till the baby comes!! Seriously, listen very carefully to what your body is telling you. I had major problems with both my pregnancies. Speaking from experience, if your body says rest - do it, pronto. If you eat right, exercise lightly, get as much sleep as you can - then when your body tells you to take it slow and you do, you may avoid some of the difficulties with pregnancy. If you are not vomiting all the time, count yourself BLESSED!

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

Try changing your eating habits, thats should help with giving you back some energy, and of course your not the first pregnant women to experience this.

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E.S.

answers from Columbia on

Being tired and not wanting to do anything is pretty normal I believe when you are pregnant. I have two children and I was tired with both, but I was excited also. I didn't care about gaining weight or anything else. I was a little active with the first...I would go for walks a lot or go to the mall. With the second I had a 2 1/2 year old to take care of too so I was more tired. About sleeping at night...I didn't sleep at night with either of my sons. I would go to bed around 10:00pm and wake up about every 2-3 hours and by the time 5:00am came around I was up. I could sleep during the day with no problem, but night time was a different story. Not to discourage you or anything, but the farther along you are the more sleep you loose. Don't expect to sleep 8 hours straight until a long time!! You have a growing baby inside of you and it is a miracle! You will one day be able to get back into your old clothes and be able to see your belly button. In the end all the tiredness and weight gain is all worth it when you see your child for the first time. There is nothing like it in the world! Take care of yourself and try to get as much sleep as you can now, even if it is in the middle of the day. Don't worry about the housework or anything else..it will get done sooner or later. I loved showing off my belly, so go out and show off this bundle of joy you have growing inside of you. Just to make you feel better...I love seeing pregnant women...it is such a blessing!

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D.M.

answers from Macon on

You are NORMAL! It is okay to be tired, you are making a human...

Take advantage of this time alone, to rest and relax...soon there will be no such thing.

I laid around on the couch for months with both pregnancies, my body was so tired and I felt terrible with acne, and bulging breasts, hips and belly...it is enough to get a woman down. But, it is a wonderful experience you will always think fondly of.

Try some light exercise, even if you have to force yourself, the endorphins released will be enough to get you in the mood to go shopping or read, or even make love...hope this helps.

Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and delivery!

D. M.

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C.T.

answers from Athens on

Hi M.,

First things first, get your iron checked. Probably you are okay.

About getting that belly and feeling a little down about it. I have had five children and still fit into a pair of jeans I bought when I was 18 and a size 2. I gained about 50 lbs with each of my children, but lost it all again within six months of each delivery. If you were in great shape before you got pregnant you will have a much easier time regaining shape. Remember to tone up though. A few extra pounds are better than a slim untoned body!

Lastly, enjoy your changing body. You do not know it yet, but that little person inside you will be the greatest love of your life.

C..

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J.M.

answers from San Diego on

Honey you are more NORMAL than you think right now!!
That baby is sucking everything out of you and it's okay to sit and be lazy. In fact you need to take it easy right now, get all the sleep you can and enjoy it because once that bundle of joy is here you will wish you had that time back to just sleep. Enjoy the recliner and don't feel guilty, you will get your energy back.
Enjoy the pregnancy!!

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J.B.

answers from Augusta on

You are NOT crazy! You know that saying, "Every pregnancy is different?" Well, that could not be more true and I found out for myself with my two boys. With my first, I was your age, full of energy and motivation, no morning sickness, no complications. It was a breeze and wonderful! The second, just a few years later, I was so tired, I would fall asleep almost instantly upon coming home from work at night, I couldn't force myself to do anything "extra", I was sick alot and I had complications due to a fibroid tumor in my uterus (benign). It was a trial... and wonderful. That may seem like a surprise, but no matter how crazy the pregnancy, the regrets about what you are giving up, sometimes forever, the physical limitations your body sets upon you, you still get to meet the most wonderful person in the world at the end: your child.

Keep your chin up. I think you are doing great! It's normal to be on a roller coaster at this time. Just try to ride it out. :)

BB!
~J.

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F.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I m 34 and welcome to my world.This is my 3rd baby .I never get excited .I loathe getting pregnant but I love my kids.Dont worry you are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am at the point where my whole family gets out of the way when they see me coming.
So u can look at the pants and weep.I am.

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C.L.

answers from Savannah on

Yes, you are normal. Around 32-34 weeks, I remember with my first pregnancy gaining a little more energy. You are also getting closer to your due date at that time and things begin to get more exciting. If you are able to, I would suggest going to a maternity store and picking out a really cute outfit or two. There is no reason why you cannot feel sexy at this time. It is such a special milestone in your life. Also, do not feel worried about not getting anything done right now, just take advantage of the few minutes that you do feel like getting up to do something and try to accomplish any task no matter how small it may be. It will make you feel much more useful. Take care of yourself (take your vitamins and drink plenty of water)and good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

M.,

You are very normal for feeling this way. I was 24 when I had my first pregnancy and never felt "beautiful" like everyone told me I would. I was upset about the weight gain and was tired all the time. I also had insomnia and would be up at all hours of the night "just because" and I loved to nap during the day on the couch. Just because you don't love being pregnant doesn't make you weird and it doesn't have any bearing on how you will feel about your new baby. Just relax and know that it will all be okay. You will get your pre pregnancy body back and even if it isn't exactly the way it was you will be fine because you will love that little baby more than life itself. Congratulations and hope everything goes well for you and your family!

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A.C.

answers from Athens on

I remember this stage. I could not keep my eyes open around this time. I had a boring desk job and I would fall asleep at work! Once I even fell asleep and was drooling on the desk! How embarrassing. This stage usually passes however, you seem to have it really bad. But seriously, you need to check with your doctor. You could have a vitamin deficiency or even be annemic. Depression can sometimes start in preganancy too and tiredness and lack of interest in things can be symptoms. Talk to your doc and if he/she won't listen or can't seem to help, get a second opinion. You don't need to feel this way. I hope you feel better soon!

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A.A.

answers from Columbus on

You are completely normal. Rest and be lazy while you can. It won't last long. lol

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C.L.

answers from Atlanta on

YOU are completely normal. Every woman in the world wants to stay in her skinny jeans and cute shirts forever... YOU WILL GET BACK TO THEM.. I promise. The funny thing is that once you have the baby, your skinny clothes take the back burner to the beautiful new baby. Its hard Meagan, but keep your chin up.. Are you taking any vitamins?? If not try that.. THat may give you the little boost you need to get up and going. You will get energy back in the last part of your pregnancy. I could only take flintstones vitamins and they helped alot. And yes that was doctor approved.. You have to make yourself get up.. GO see friends, go walk the mall. Once you get out you will feel better. Take care and good luck ...

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R.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

Congratulations! Yes, you are normal! I would consider getting your iron checked (or make sure you take a vitamin with extra iron--most prenatal vitamins have this) and I'd also bring up your exhaustion to your OB-- tired is normal, but if you're really bummed, sometimes mild depression shows itself as just plain tiredness... I had a good friend who went through some depression with her pregnancy, and getting some help for it made all the difference in the world for her! But, honestly, don't worry about your body-- you do lose it for a while, but I actually got thinner after my baby than I was before, and I was 32-- at 20something, it should be a snap for you. Good luck!

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F.A.

answers from Savannah on

Embrace your growing belly and don't worry, it all goes back to normal. As for being lazy and tired...get as much sleep as you can right now, and be as lazy as you can, because once the baby gets here...sleep and laziness are a thing of the past. Enjoy it...you have a precious gift inside of you.

Best of luck.

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A.B.

answers from Atlanta on

The exhaustion is normal and believe it or not, there are some of us out there who did not like being pregnant. I know there are lots of happy pregos and lots who don't mind it but I was literally sick & tired almost my entire pregnancy. I hated maternity clothes and cried the day my belly button 'popped'. Does it mean you don't want a baby or that you're going to be a bad mom? NO WAY! You'll get through it.

Sounds to me like you need either a friend to hang out/ go out with or you need to make a couple of 'dates' with your husband- even if it's just to get out of the house for a couple of hours. Sometimes you just have to get up and get moving otherwise the exhaustion (physical and mental) can take over.

Also, I would mention this to your OB next time you go in. There quite possibly could be like a vitiamin deficiency that's helping drag you down. If not, take a look at your diet and try eating foods that will give you energy and also get out and walk. Sometimes getting your blood flowing will help not only give you a little extra energy during the day but it will help make you more tired at night so you can sleep better when you're supposed to.

Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey M.,

I agree with ALMOST everything the other Mommas said here. The only thing you should be prepared for is that your body might NOT go back to what it once was. Some women have no trouble bouncing back. Some work the rest of their lives & it never looks the same. I am actually proud of my Momma lines on my tummy. They are my badges of honor. My boobs aren't what they used to be. My tummy will never again be flat. But that is totally ok with me. There are some women who can't stand that (& that is ok, too) & they opt for cosmetic surgery. Don't get me wrong. There are times when I miss my kick-ass body. But, that's who I was before I was a Mom! But, maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who does totally bounce back. Either way, be happy with who you are; a MOTHER!!!
Good luck with your sweet bebe!!!
Take care,
S.

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N.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

That was me to a "T" during both pregnancies! Things get a bit better, but just allow yourself the sleep. You need it.
Good luck! N.

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M.V.

answers from Savannah on

Hi M., you are feeling all the normal signs of pregnancy. your body is working hard to help your baby grow and your hormones are out of wack. It's normal to feel so tired. yes, it's hard to sleep at night,'cause it can get uncomfortable. Have you tried walking in the day to get you feeling a little energized? Try a little exercise before bed(ask your doctor whats appropriate for you, that might make you feel more relaxed and tired when you go to bed. Also, the reason you might feel so tired is that you might have low iron. See your dr.,you might need to take iron pills. I had to take 2 a day when I was pregnant.It's also hard knowing you can't wear your normal clothes, it might do you good to get some cute maternity clothes to make you feel better. You'll be able to wear your prepregnancy clothes after the baby's born in no time. You'll be fine, you're doing good.Do you plan on finding out the sex of the baby, that'll be fun to decorate the baby's room. That would definitely give you a boost of energy and something to look forward to. Also, make sure you're eating healthy, no junk food,you'll get better energy when you eat a healthy diet and it's good for the baby. Take care of yourself and good luck. I hope anything I have told you helps you in any way. All else fails, see your doctor.
M.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

completely normal , you are buliding a little person in your body it and they suck the energy right out of ya hun. just Rest when ya can.

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