B.H. asks from Detroit, MI on March 11, 2010
Exercise Classes and Kids
I just wanted to get some opinions from other moms on my issue. I have been "workingout"/exersing for almost a year now just to keep fit and healthy plus it makes me feel great.
My issue is that I have tried to exercise at home and I just can't do it. I don't enjoy it as much and I need the motivation that I get with the trainers and training in a group.
But on the other hand I feel a little guilty because I'm away from my kids at least two nights a week for about 2 hours. The clases are only 1 hour long with driving time about 30 minutes each way. I go in on saturday mornings at 8:00 a.m.
My husband works two jobs so he does not get home until late. I work full-time so I can only schedule something after 5 unless I leave work early so that I can get my workout in and get home before my husband leaves.
my mom told me that I should just give this up. The idea of not going to my classes makes me sort of sad because I feel that this is something that makes me feel great. Even though I feel its sort of selfish on my part. Why is it that when mom do something for themselves we have to feel bad about it?
Any thoughts or opinions?
A.M. answers from Detroit on March 12, 2010
I know how you feel. When you work full time you feel guilty adding additional time away. Find a club or class where childcare is offered. I did that---I found an aerobics studio that offered childcare literally outside the door of my class. Later as my kids got bigger I joined a very well known gym that had childcare as well. An additional benefit was my kids saw my husband and I working out from the time they were little and, as a result (I think) they became quite athletic themselves!
S.F. answers from Madison on March 11, 2010
Go to your classes! Don't feel guilty or let others try to make you feel guilty!! You deserve time for yourself! I don't have the motivation to work out at home either. I do better and have more motivation in group classes. I attend karate 2-3 times a week. When I am there I'm only thinking about what I'm doing in the class. I get a good workout and always leave happy. Doing something for yourself also makes you a better mom. If you are happy then you have more of yourself to give to your family.
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M.G. answers from Philadelphia on March 11, 2010
Go to your classes. I work full-time and there are times I feel guilty picking my son up from preschool and then heading to the gym but it's not only important that you have time for yourself but I think it's important that kids see their parents being healthy and active. My son knows I do yoga and pilates and he loves the child care at the Y so it works for both of us and he is exposed to a healthy and active lifestyle.
I think we feel guilty or bad about it because we sometimes let all those people in our heads who try to make us feel bad for working or whatever. I try to tune those voices out and make my own decisions about what's best for my family. I know people would criticize a lot of my husband & I's parenting practices but it's what works for us, our son is happy & well adjusted so really, who care?
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C.G. answers from Detroit on March 12, 2010
B., just because you are a mom doesn't mean that you aren't a woman too! Don't give up something that keeps you healthy and motivated! Think of it this way - you aren't only doing it for yourself, but for your kids too! This is what keeps you healthy so that you can run around and play with them, it keeps your mind a little healthier too!
1 mom found this helpful
K.C. answers from Detroit on March 12, 2010
don't give up your classes and don't feel guilty.....you are teaching your kids good life choices by trying to stay healthy....you are getting your sanity break so you don't go off on your kids for the little things like you might if you were stressed.....it makes you feel better and it is keeping you healthy so you can keep up with your kids....don't listen to the little voice, even when it isn't in your head, that says you are being selfish becuase you aren't
1 mom found this helpful
S.H. answers from Detroit on March 12, 2010
You are absolutely not being selfish. Look at it this way: how can you be considered selfish when you are keeping yourself balanced and healthy, both of which benefit your children and everyone else around you? Exercise is so important for physical and mental health. A few hours a week is not going to scar your children. It should make them appreciate you more, and it will make you happier when you are spending time with them. DO NOT give in on this. Everyone needs "me" time. I go for 2 hours twice a week and have never once felt a sliver of guilt for it. Stay strong and good luck!
B.A. answers from Detroit on March 12, 2010
Go in the morning or during your lunch hour, and find a gym closer to home. The guilt won't go away no matter how many people tell you it's ok.
H.S. answers from Detroit on March 11, 2010
Don't give up on it. All mom's need their alone time, trust me, I don't get much alone time, usually about two hours every three months and I go stir crazy. I would try to find a place that offers some kind of daycare for the kids while you're there or get them in their own classes; I just enrolled my son in a Tai-jitsu class in Ann Arbor and he has a blast (he's 4) Good luck!
M.F. answers from Detroit on March 12, 2010
Don't feel guilty about wanting to make yourself feel good! Yes you work and that cuts into time with the kids but you shouldn't stop going to the gym just because someone makes you feel guilty.
If you positively can not work out at home then perhaps you can find a gym that provides daycare. I am the opposite and don't like working out anywhere but at home...even that's a challenge =)
I am not sure who has a childcare but I know they are out there. You will probably get some suggestions from your post.
Bottom line is...mom needs "me" time too. It's not like you are going out every night drinking and doing drugs. You work hard for your family and you deserve this.
If you still feel guilty maybe you can do just the Saturday class and work out at home during the week? There are plenty of online forums to help keep you motivated and you can work out in the mornings before getting ready for work. Or at night when the kids are in bed.
Just don't feel guilty!!!!