Etiquette Question - La Grange,IL

i thinks its inappropriate to ask guests to pay. If it's to costly, i would look elsewhere. Good luck!

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I agree with others who say not to ask for money. I would be put off too if asked to contribute to this. After all, it is an adult birthday party, so it shouldn't matter that much if you do have to scale it down.

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It would put me off attending if I were invited. I think if you are throwing a party, you should cover the cost. If it is more than you expected to pay, then cut back.

Sorry.

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If it costs more than you want to spend, then scale down your party. What's more important - having a party that overextends you financially or having a get together with his beloved friends and family without the bells or whistles?

Personally, I don't think it is good form to ask party-goers to pay.

I would not ask for $. For my husbands's 40th, we had it outside (summer). I put on the invite that I was supplying main dish & beverages. If anyone wanted to bring a dish to pass they were welcome to. That worked nicely with a lot of people bringing their favorites.

Maybe you could ask a relative/parent, brother, or best friends to help. Such as someone take care of invites for you, or a cake... Just ask 1-2 people, keep it simple. Good luck!

I had my husbands at a local resturant/pizza place that had a banquet room. I had open bar set to a certain $$ amt. that was about 2 hours after that everyone paid for drinks on their own. It worked out well, we had plenty to eat& you did not have to stick to pizza. I had a budget in mind & stuck to it. I had plenty of people tell me it was very nice. I also cut costs by having my sister in law make the cake. A friend of my husbands even brought him a cooler with 40 beers in it, I thought that was a pretty neat idea.
I even made his invites on my computer to help defray the cost a bit.

I would maybe start looking around for a cheaper alternative....I don't think asking guests to pay is appropriate, especially for a 40th b-day party where they will most likely be bringing gifts.
Just my opinion.

I don't think you are being cheap, I just think you want your husband to have a memorable 40th :) However, you are hosting this event, that people will more than likely be bringing gifts to, etc. I was always taught the one who hosts the party pays. Now, if it were having a back yard barbecue, and you asked your friend to make a side salad, also a little different. Maybe you need to investgate some other options for the bash. Good luck.

I agree, don't ask them to pay.

You may want to size it down a bit. Instead of a meal and the works maybe some inexpensive snacks, beer, inexpensive wine, soda and cake and ice cream. Or if have to have a meal, just chili and potatoe soup in crock pots (Cheap!) and some chips and dips to go with.

Remember that sometimes guys really don't want all those people over anyway...maybe out to dinner by yourselves for a special night would be a better and more cost efficient gift? Or if it is just a grown up couples thing...cake and ice cream and put BYOB on the invitation!

Find a nice hall that doesn't cost a lot and you could decoirate it yourself, and have a catering company do the food that charges so much per person. They would supply everything and it would be more cost effective. Less than $30.00 per person.