Etiquette Question

I think I would talk to the principal about this woman, especially if she is making a comment every week. My one sister had CF, and there is NO way my mom would have put up with this kind of bull! If you can't or won't talk to the principal, or if he/she won't help, then talk to her directly. You don't have to give her much info, since it isn't any of her business, but tell her you don't appreciate the comments (she might think she is being funny!). Good luck!

Advise her directly that you don't appreciate her tone and if it continues you will speak with the principal.

I had a similiar situation with a teacher my son had in third grade. What I did, was brought it to the principals attention and let the principal know what this person was saying to me each time I had to bring my son back to school. Then, I told the person "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't make comments to me like that, because I take offense to them." I also went on to say to this person that their is a perfectly legitimate reason why my child was being dropped off at that specific time and it's not necessary to go into detail with her about it.

Some people really don't have a clue as to what's appropriate to say to another person and what's not. I would definitely speak up and let this person at the school know that you don't appreciate her comments and you will be saying something to the principal.

She seems like a jerk but respond with something like this...when your child is not within ear shot.."I'm not sure you are aware Mrs. so and so..but my son has a condition which requires these weekly visits...he would much rather be here in school than dealing with what he has to endure at the Dr. every week. I'm sure you don't mean any harm by your comments but they are upsetting to me and my son."
If that does not work...talk to he principal!

Karin,

I am a kindergarten teacher at a school with a very rude secretary as well. As a parent, I would reccomend that first, you get your son the care he needs. All else is secondary. As a teacher, I would reccomend that you make the situation known to your child's teacher. Next, I would suggest that you meet with the principal. You have every right to take care of your son and NO ONE, especially a school secretary, has a right to question you. Chances are the principal in unaware of her behavior and will correct it if you bring it to his/her attention. Good luck!

I'm a teacher and we have a person like this in our office. It's frustrating and embarrassing for the other staff members. If you feel comfortable you can respond with something like, "I don't think that's appropriate." or "I don't appreciate your comments." If you don't feel comfortable doing that you could talk to a parent lesion, an officer in the PTA, or the principal of your son's school since he or she is responsible for all of the staff members of the school. There is no excuse for her to try to make you feel guilty for taking care of your son, and it’s not her place to make judgment calls about when your son gets to school when you’re addressing his medical needs.

You do not need to say anything. This is YOUR CHILD and not her business wether you bring your child in 15 or 50 minutes late. What this woman needs to understand is that you are doing what is all around best for your son...getting him the medical attention he needs while still making his education a priority. She should not ask any questions of you, you are obviously being a good, responsible mother. But if her attitude persists I would talk to her higher up and tell them that you are made to feel unwelcome and wrong for the set-up you have right now with you child MD and the school and that you would appriciate it if the staff would keep their opinions and attitudes to themselves. You do not seserve that treatment and you are obviously very bothered by it.....but have confidence in yourself....people like this woman are not even worth your time. I know this may not have helped but i was in a very simaler situation this past summer when my daughter got sick and had to have surgery. People at my work accused me of using my daughter as an excuse to get out of working when my daughter was very sick...people who do not have kids or do not know your situation should keep their comments to themselves.

Understanding Mother,
Jenn

I would look her straight in the eye and say..." Yes , we are, and I'm glad u missed us. Seeeing as this is going to be every Fri., I expect a warm welcome every time!!" Smile, and go on ur way.

Karin,

I work in a school, so I can see this from another perspective. Have you made the school nurse and/or principal aware of the medical condition? If yes, then you need to make the principal aware of the treatment of the office staff - stand your ground and insist that these comments are not acceptable. If the school is not aware of the problem, and you make no effort to inform them, than I can see where the attitude may come in - as unprofessional as it is. I had a student a few years ago who had to leave school every Thursday for the entire year. I knew why, but the mom wasn't comfortable telling the office and she got the same treatment. I took it into my own hands and made the office aware and they left here alone after that. You have to be proactive - schools see so many tardy kids each week who DO NOT have a good reason that sometimes they forget there are good reasons!

:)

Hi Karin,

How rude! I personally would take the straight forward approach and say "Call me crazy but I feel like every time I sign my son into school you have a comment. Is there something you would like to discuss rather than making the side comments that are really inappropriate? It may make you feel better [wait for her answer and depending on what she says either discuss it like adults without giving out information or say 'well the other option is that we can sit down with your boss and determine if those comments are appropriate."

I also feel that if this person does not have a need to know than with all the privacy rights these days that you have the right not to tell her and regardless she is in a position where those comments are unacceptable. If those that have a need to know do know that's all that matters! I personally would confront her first and then deal with higher ups if need be because if I was doing something unacceptable I'd want someone to tell me first.

Good luck!
S.

You should say to that woman, "Look, my son has a medical condition and he has to go the doctor during the week. If you have some sort of problem with me providing the best care for my child then I would appreciate if you kept it and your little snide comments to yourself from now on."

You shouldn't feel bad about him having to miss a little school for that issue. And that lady is jerk for making you feel bad about it.

When I was elemetary school my mom worked nights and becuase of it I was late often becuase she would get home from work and then have to send me off. The principal said something to her about it and she got right up in the lady's face becuase it was a situation that we were doing our best with and she didn't appreciate someone coming in from the outside and complainging expessially becuase my grades where good and there was nothing wrong excpet for being like 15 minutes late a few times a week.

You don't have to take that.

Karin,
I would follow up with the Principal of the school that is terrible making remarks like that especailly if there isnt another choise for your son. I praise you for doing whats best for him!!!!!!!
M., c

I agree. Talk to the principal and if they dont do anything go to the school board. Your child has a medical issue and is missing school for that. She has no right to say anything to you or make any remarks. She does not need to know your personal business. If anyone needs to know it woudl be the principal and maybe your sons teacher. Other than that the staff has no say in what you do iwth your child. Good luck.

Well, If it were me, I dont know what I would say, probably something snide right back at her. But since thats not the best way to come off in front of your kids, I wouldnt say anything. Its really none of her business why you get to school late on fridays. Its a medical condition that has to be treated. And at least he is going to school. Its not like he is missing a whole day. However, I do agree that you maybe should talk to the schools principal about it, when your son is not present. This woman has no right to make any kind of comments to you or your son about missing a few hours for a doctors appointment.

Say nothing its none of her business.

Hi Karin,

It's a shame that there are so many idiots in this world, isn't it??

I think that maybe you can request to speak about this with the principal of the school. It's not only affecting you, but it could also be affecting your son, so when it comes to that, I believe some action needs to be taken. It's obvious that talking to this person is not going to make any difference. This person doesn't seem to care about anything, but hearing herself talk! If talking to the principal does not help, maybe you could just flat out ask her why she has to make such comments every time you sign your son in and that you really don't appreciate them nor think they are funny.

She doesn't care about your son's or your feelings, don't worry about hers!

I hope I'm not out of line, but I have no patience for idiots!!

I wish you luck with this!!

P.

Well I think this lady is very rude and being very inapropreite. You should have a talk with the schools principal about this problem. You are doing what is best for your child and should not be made to feel guilty or bad about it. Everybody at the school should be helping with this situation, not judging you. Best of luck!

I'd take it up with her when your son is NOT with you. Let your child see you in control at all times. Deal with her as you would want someone to deal with you.

Even though she doesn't need to know your child's medical history, let her know that every Friday your child sees a specialist in the morning and you would appreciate her not making him feel like he's a truant - therefore bad. She may not realize how what she is saying is being heard.

Sometimes, being direct is the best thing. Ask if she has a minute, possibly a quiet spot (the supervisor's office?) Be as polite as possible. If that doesn't work, see her immediate supervisor, and continue until it is resolved. It's not as if you or he overslept. And you shouldn't have to feel like a bad parent because your son is missing school. You are being a great parent by seeing that his medical needs are met.

Good luck!

If it were me, I think I would very quietly explain to her what the medical condition is and why it requires the weekly latenesses. Let her know that fo your son's sake, you feel it best to not make a big deal out of it.

Karin,

I agree 100%! ESPECIALLY if these comments and this attitude is shown in front of your child (which I assume it is). It is good for him to see you handle such remarks with dignity and grace, but most likely he will feel shame or guilt--which is what a child does when things don't go smoothly. If you can't go to the principal for yourself, do it for your son--HE also deserves to be treated with dignity and respect!!

D.

Karin,
I wouldn't give this woman the satisfaction of even responding to her. If she is like this with everyone and not just you then I wouldn't stoop to her level by even replying to her at all. Sign your son in an walk away.

Karin-

I have a snide woman like that at my son's front desk at his school, too. It makes me wonder why someone would even choose a career like that if they can't seem to be nice, and how in the world they got the job in the first place!

The fact of the matter is, she is not doing her job properly, and as such, should be reported to her supervisor. I would suggest you call the principal and complain. Nothing you say to people like this is going to stop them, but maybe a good talking to from her boss would.

When you talk to the principal, be as nice as possible, but BE FIRM! Let him know that you find this behavior unacceptable and that you will not tolerate it in the future.

I hope this suggestion helps, and the principal puts a stop this woman's ridiculous behavoir. Neither you nor your son should have to deal with derision at his school, ESPECIALLY since you're dealing with a health issue. DISCRIMINATION is not acceptable in any form.

P.S. I'd be willing to be you won't be the first parent to complain about her.

L.

hi, i had some problems at my sons school with teachers and support staff. next time she makes a remark, sign your kid in, send him to class, and ask to speak to the principal right then. if she wants to know why, tell her its regarding your childs lateness. and tell the principal right then that the ignorant person in the office is making snide remarks and you will not put up with that. if the principal doesnt do anything take it up with the school board. that will straighten them both up.. the thought of them possibly losing their job will change their tune. hope everything works out :)

Karen,
I would let her know that her attitude is innappropriate and that you would expect better treatment from someone who works around children. And if she has not realized by now that there is a trend with your son being late on Fridays then apparently she has an attention problem. OR that she does not care enough about her position to take in what is going on around her. Come on even a convienince store clerk recognizes a regular and can usually remember what you come there after. But I suggest that you tell her that you don't appreciate her attitude toward you or your son.

TELL HER TO MIND HERS OR REPORT HER,YOU TALK WITH THE SCHOOL NURSE AND THE PRINCIBALE NOT HER.SEE IF IT WAS ME ,WELL I SAY THIS SHE WOULD BE VERY NICE TO ME. BUT YEA STAND UP TO HER OR REPORT HERE.

Karin
I would definitely file a complaint with the higherup whoever that may be. I don't think you should even say anything to this woman but definitely make a complaint over her behavior, not for anything else just to get her in trouble.
i would do it just for the heck of it. you need not tell anyone what and whys. that is nobody's business except yours
good luck

Karin, The next time she makes one of her remarks, stop her in her tracks. simply say, "For the time being, my son will continue on having appointments on friday mornings.this is stressfull enough without you adding to it.thank you and have a great day."
Karin, in life we have to deal with many people who are unhappy with life, this one sounds like one of them. Always remember, that on friday's, this is an important day for your son. That's what matters, nothing else. hope everything works out

Talk to the school officals right away!!!! There is NO need for this attitude especially towards a young child. If you feel awkard talking to his schoool, go the the county school board. GO ASAP!!!!!

just go to the princepal and tell her how you feel...that is not necessary of her to say anything to you....at least you bring your child in late most people would just keep them home..

Talk to the principal or who ever is over this person. This is inappropriate behavior on this person's part and does a poor job of representing the school. It is none of their business when your child gets to school, and especially since it is a legitimate medical reason that he comes in late. Third grade is difficult enough without having to have self esteem issues stemming from the school office staff and their inappropriate remarks. Don't let it affect your child or you any longer.