Entertining Toddler While Nursing Infant

My daughter was 27 months old when her brother was born and she generally nursed her baby beside me or I read her books while I nursed. She'd even lay down on my lap and fall asleep sometimes while I nursed in the afternoon.

I'd consider stashing a number of toys where you nurse so that your older child will play there by/with you.
Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi R. -
Someone gave me advice on this for entertaining my three year old as I nursed twins (sure takes a lot of time!) - create a special basket (or baskets) of books and toys that you only take out when you are nursing. It makes the toddler feel special during this time when your attention is occupied with nursing the baby - and by putting it away when you're finished nursing and only taking it out the next session, it keeps it special.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My son was fine playing on his own after I got him started on something. I suggest when it gets close to nursing time, start to play with a toy and then walk away. Its possible it will keep her occupied for a little while on her own. This is a good idea to start before your husband goes back to work, and its good for you and your daughter that she learn to play independently.

I have had this issue - since I have three all 19 1/2 months apart and am expecting number 4 - same spacing - in a month. The every two hours in an issue, but as much as you can plan with that time frame in mind, I found planning to be the key. My first nursing was always when my toddler was still in bed. My second was sometimes right before I got the toddler up, so that left only one more feeding, and then toddler naptime, and I would always do another feeding before I got the toddler up from nap. THen maybe one more before husband came home in the evening. So, overall that left me about 2 feedings with me and the toddler (or me, the toddler and the 3 year old later on)...for you this might mean at the most 4 feedings with the toddler around. Often I would do it in my bedroom or the toddler's bedroom, with the door shut. I would make sure she had toys or books around, and that she could play on the bed next to me if she wanted. Rarely did I give into the inclination to just plop down on the couch and nurse because there was just too much for her to get into. So even when I had my third we would all go traipsing up to a room, get the baby, and nurse in a small room with the door shut, and plenty of toys. Hope this helps!

I can see your dilemma! I would definitely stay away from the TV. Once you introduce that into your children's lives as a way to pacify them, you (and they) will be stuck with it for the duration and it is nearly impossible to "wean" kids off of it.

Instead, I would get some age-appropriate story-tapes/CDs out of the library and put those on during some nursings. Children love being read to, and this is a good hands-free option. There are some wonderful books-on-tape for kids available. For a change of pace, you could also try putting on some good fun music (like early Beatles) and encourage your daughter to dance for you and her baby sister. She's right at the age where music and dancing can become a lot of fun. Some good children's CDs that encourage sing-alongs would be ideal, and she would probably love it. That way she could "help" you by singing to you and baby while baby nurses. It's also a great way to introduce her to movement and help her get out restless energy on days when you are house-bound.

Another possibility, though more challenging for you, is that you could try reading to her from a large sturdy board book while you nurse. This is trickier, but if you are comfortably set up on a couch, it could work. That way you could have read and cuddle time with your older daughter while nursing your baby. This could help to alleviate natural feelings of jealousy in your older daughter, too. The great thing about board books - besides the fact that they are great for reading to little kids and babies who sometimes grab or chew - is that when your children begin reading at 4 -5 -6, they will go back to the board books, since they are often great early reading books.

Good luck!

R.,
What about turning nursing time into family reading a book time? You can curl up with both girls, get the little one latched on and read to the older one. Good Luck!

I keep a basket of books next to the couch and I would read my son stories and sing songs while I nursed his baby sister...

We are trying to stay away from the tv now, but I bought him a Wiggles DVD that he LOVED and he would watch that or Big Comfy Couch with me for one or two feedings a day...

I also have a few special toys that only come out when I'm nursing...

Also, having a sling helepd me out so much... I could walk around the house and get things done, and she would be nursing, snug inside her sling!!!!

I found this website - www.kellymom.com
If you go under Life with Baby section (or something like that) there is a subsection called tips for juggling a toddler and infant. Maybe that can help.

I would actually try to space out the feedings more because babies burn a lot of calories eating/nursing. My friend is a nurse and they have the newborn babies on a three hoour feeding schedule. My daughter was teeny and wasn't gaining weight because I let her nurse whneever she wanted thinking that I was helping her gain weight.
Also to help her along I pumped breast milk and added a little formula just to boost her calorie intake. I added the formula for about two weeks until she got a little bigger. Do to some other issues I pumped for about 7 weeks until she gained a good amount weight and now she's breast feeding and has chubby legs and arms and a big round belly. I let her nurse a little bit evey day so she would still be used to the breast. Some people will say don't give a bottle but if it helps your baby gain weight go for it and a little formula isn't going to hurt.
As far as entertaining your other child try to have their needs meet before you start to nurse and try to have a small toy or book you can read while you nurse. My son is three and he's really good about entertaining himself but sometimes I have him get a book and we look at that together while I nurse. I also have him snuggle up with me while I nurse.
I know it's a challenge to do both but you'll find your own routine and become a pro of taking care of both kids while your husband is at work.

Can your daughter entertain herself at all? I by no means neglect my son (2 1/2), but he really enjoys playing by himself a lot. If he needs extra attention, I can plop myself down on the couch with my daughter nursing and read him books. It's amazing the kinds of things you'll manage to do while you're nursing - no joke.

I hope that helps!

Dear R.
Have you taught by getting her a doll that sghe can feed while you feed the baby, have her sit in a rocking chair,and follow your foot step, maybe she be O.K. with that.Let us know.

I used to read to my son while I nursed his brother. I'd sit in a big chair with both of them. Also, I have one room in my house closed off with gates that has their toys in it. It made a big playpen and was a safe place for him to play while I sat in there and nursed. Don't worry. It all ends up working out.

As someone who works with school aged children every day I can not stress enough how important it is to read to your children. My 2 youngest boys are 16 months apart. When I nursed my youngest my middle son would sit on the couch next to me with a book and we would read together, sometimes I read the words sometimes I just told a story. My middle son is and I think always will be the biggest of my "mama's boys" and I think all the bonding we did during those times really contributed to that. Good luck and remember to enjoy these moments, they dont last nearly long enouh.

When my second was born I was having a hard time with my oldest using the time for mischief. My aunt suggested keeping a few of his favorite books with in arms reach of where I nursed regularly, or because he was two ask him to pick out a book. While it didn't always work it did help keep him within eye line the whole time, and there was a lot less mischief happening because he felt included.
Hope it helps.

someone gave me this advice a while ago for when we have our second child: keep a bag of the older child's favorite toys that they can only play with while you breastfeed the younger sibling. The older child has to put the toys away when you are done and they can bring them back out at the next feeding.

Sounds like it should work but I still have just one child...

I hope this helps,
A.

My first two were 15 mos appart and I found that if I sat on the floor while I nursed my daughter I could play with my son at the same time. Also, I found it helps to put a gate up in which ever room you are in so that they can not escape and get into trouble while you are tied up.

Hi R.,

My kids are 17 months apart. We had a special 'nursing basket', filled with books, small toys, and stickers, etc. It only came out a nursing time, fit on the sofa next to me, and my older son could ask me to read to him or play with a small toy (or cover me in stickers!). We turned nursing time into quality quiet-snuggle time.

I also kept a partitioned plate in the 'fridge filled with snacks like cheese cubes, carrots, cucumber sticks, Veggie Bootie, crackers. This also only came out at nursing time, and my toddler turned into quite the healthy grazer.

One more tip: with the second, I was a more expert nurser, and learned (at about a month) how to nurse in a sling. This freed up my hands and I could be mobile. I took my older son for walks, played puzzles at the table, let him help me mix bread or pizza dough, all while discreetly nursing....all kinds of doors opened up once I baby and I learned the sling trick!

Hope this helps. Congrats!

I read to my boys while I was nursing the youngest son. They would each get to pick out a book that was their favorite and they got to turn the pages while I was nursing and reading. So that kept them happy while we were nursing.

My kids are 21 months apart, my daughter will play on her own now (the baby is 3 months old) but had issues at the beginning. I had good luck feeding the baby on the couch with a stack of books nearby - that way the older child could look through the book and we could talk about the pictures/read the book while the baby nursed. The 1st month was pretty hard for me balancing baby and toddler, but it's almost always great now, so hang in there and things will get better!

When I had my second, I made sure to nurse him on the couch with space on both sides of me. Then my other son (then 12 months old) could climb up with books or toys on my "free" side where I wasn't holding a baby and we could read or interact. It usually worked really well.

HI R., I am the mother of a five-year old boy and a 2-year old girl. I had a similiar issue when I was nursing my daughter. I made a basket of favorite books/toys that I took out during the times I needed to nurse. We called it the "feeding basket" It worked well. I also used a CD player with books on CD. Good luck.

I have 2 baby girls too... my oldest is almost 3 (born on my birthday) and my youngest is 1 year old (adjusted age of 8.5 mo since she was born very premature.

Our story is excessively complicated due to my youngest's prematurity and the medical issues that came with it, however, I still had to figure out how to entertain my older daughter and nurse my younger daughter at the same time... oh and I had to pump too...

While my youngest was in the NICU (for 4.5 mo) I started involving my daughter right away. Whenever I had to pump (every 2 - 3 hours) I would sit my older daughter next to me and read a book with her while attached to the pump.

As soon as my youngest could nurse I began visiting the NICU more often and we taught her that her sister needed to eat "Mommy's milk". Since diaper changes took place along with the feeding sessions (and giving medication & other treatments) I asked my daughter to help with the things she could do such as bring me a diaper, hand me a wipe etc.

Now of course my older daughter was very curious and occassionally did a few things out of sorts, but we didn't have any jealousy issues until more recently (Now that the youngest is starting to walk, the oldest can't control which toys she gets her hands on and she only likes to share her way lol).

The first few days getting the new routine in place can be a bit stressful, but you will do just fine :). Just remember what it was like bringing your first home and how the first few days you had to do some adjusting. It does get easier :)

I have a 2-year-old and a 4-month old, and when my toddler gets upset that I'm sitting down and nursing his brother, I suggest that he climb up in the chair with me and read a story. Or if I'm sitting on the couch, he can take a puzzle up there.

I sometimes read to my ten year old while nursing his younger sisters -- twins no less, so he had to help turn the pages! It was a lapful and then some, but we managed to all snuggle together. I'm also convinced that this strategy was part of why my daughters are such avid readers. They were exposed to chapter books at a very young age, and while they liked picture books as well, their favorite was to have something to continue over a few days. We continued reading together until they started getting too impatient to find out the ending, and then they taught themselves to read so that they wouldn't have to wait for me!

Reading will work best if you start it while the baby is young and not as easily distracted. In fact lot will depend on the baby, and whether she is able to nurse with quiet activities going on around her. You can coach a baby toward eating with distractions, but if she is gaining slowly, you do need to be careful about her getting enough to eat.

Assuming that the baby can feed with quiet, soothing voices around her, you can also set something up that the toddler can do with your voice instructions, or play quiet interactive games that you can participate in verbally. Games like "I spy something with my little eye that is ... " that engage you in your surrounding environment might be nice. Or taking turns making up a story. Or ask each other questions. You may also be able to sing quiet songs.

Another good educational game is to have a tray of objects things set up, and then have your toddler turn her back and remove or add one. When she turns back she has to figure out what has changed. (Start with You can also try to establish quiet routines that match the toddler's schedule with your nursing schedule. If you can take a walk or do some really active play before a nursing time, your toddler may be able to settle down better. Or time your nursing with a meal, or a nap.

Both their needs will be changing fast, so don't worry too much about finding the perfect way to manage things. You can set a basic pattern and change parts, or just wing-it. Just don't get stuck on the idea of one thing being the "best" way and make yourself miserable trying to keep up with an unrealistic ideal.

If your toddler is at that age where she loves to put things in order, have her help pick-things up and organize them while you are nursing. Let her make decisions about where things should go and praise her for her efforts. One of my very few regrets is not making time to turn that phase of wanting to organize and help during toddlerhood into good life-long habits for my children. It's so much easier to do it yourself, but if I had looked ahead a little more I don't think we would be struggling so much with keeping things organized now that they are teens. (Well, who knows, but it would be worth a try!)

If possible, you could try to set some nursing side aside where there is just nursing and you can really give the little one more attention, perhaps for the toddler's nap time. A toddler can understand taking turns -- but if you ask her to give her sister a turn you have to be sure to give her a turn with undivided attention. And don't forget that Mom needs to take care of herself and her needs, too!
On the other hand, if from now on you are going to be a team because that's what works best for you, you may want to de-emphasize the individual time and let it happen naturally or as needed by your children. (They will let you know if they need individual attention, believe me!) Family life is an intricate interplay of personalities, and the most important thing is to follow your instinct. What's right for one child might not work for the other, but love works for everyone.

Whatever the right solution is for your family, it needs to come from a gentle and loving place inside you, not one of worry and concern, or even a need to do things the "right" way. Your children will adapt to the rhythms you set, and you will find the best way if you just let all the love you have guide you.

hi R. congrats!mother of four 13 11 8 and 10 mths. books are great movies nursing every two hours won't last forever maybe a friend can help and take your child for a special playdate. enlist friends family adn rest when every one else rests. this stage doesn't last forever K.

Hi,

My first child, also a girl, was 1 year and 10 months when her sister was born. I also was primarily home alone with both girls as my husband was working long hours. My first child loved having a baby around and wanted to do everything for her, but once she saw me nursing her sister, she became very nervous and angry and actually tried to seperate us. In short, she was jealous - a perfectly normal emotion and reaction from her. As she was apporaching 2 years ( a time when the emotions of a child become very important), we chose to focus most of our energy on her. The baby, although she also needs you now, does not need as much emotional attention from you as your older child. How you deal with her now with a new baby around is very important. I nursed my baby while reading stories or coloring or talking to my eldest. We sat on a matress on the floor to make interacting with my daughter easier. I sat on the floor and ate with her or feed her while the baby was next to my or in my lap. I also let my first daughter "help" me with the baby as much as possible, passing me diapers, getting clothes out, passing me washclothes at bathtime, and even wiping the drool from her sister's chin and push the stroller when going out (though outings were few in the first months). Most importantly, listen to your eldest and try to read her concerns about being left out or forgotten. Try and let her lead you in activities.

It won't be easy and sometimes you'll want to pull your hair out. And you'll often feel like you don't have enough hands, but in the end, the extra time spent focusing on your eldest daughter will be worth it. And try to lay down for w nap with the elder when the baby is also sleeping - you will need it.

Now my daughters are older (approahing 3 and 5 years in s few weeks) and they are the best of friends though they still fight sometimes. There are great big hugs and cheers when the older returns home from school.