i have a 16 month old daughter who understands what no means, but just laughs. she is an easy going child with lots of personality. but when she does things that she shouldn't be doing, she knows it. for instance, the tv buttons and dvd player. she just looks at me when i tell her not to and continues. how do i get her to take me seriously?
I'm going through this with both of my girls right now, too. What was recommended to me was to use the word "stop" for normal things and reserve "no" for dangerous things (ie outlets, touching the stove, etc). That way, the word "no" isn't heard so often and it's meaning doesn't get diluted. It's been working pretty well for us. :) Just be consistent, and try redirecting her attention when she's doing something she shouldn't be.
I'm a Love and Logic mom, so I'll share with you a Love and Logic Idea.
After 1 warning, I'd snap the child up in my arms and sing the Oh-Oh Song "Oh-Oh, a little bedroom time comming up here - This is so sad" and by time you say sad, she is in the room, You can offer a choice, "Door open? or Door Closed?" She may answer with a toy up against the head, but that means 'Door Closed',
Be sure to smile big and sing the Oh-Oh song, then smile and say "you can come out when your sweet", From the very moment she is calm, set the timmer for what you feel is age appropriate and when the timmer goes "Ding" she can come out. Continue about your business when she comes out, dont tell her what she should have learned, She's very smart, she'll know.
After a while, she'll just know when Mom sings "Oh-Oh", she know's mom means business, not 1-2-3 strikes your out, just 1 strike and your out.
Some kids will just go screaming into there room, mom doesnt need to take them in there anymore when they sing the "Oh-Oh" Part of the Oh Oh song. (Its so cute)
Now remember, any child worth keeping, when you sing Oh'Oh, will give you the sweet eyes and say "Ok, I learned, I'm sorry"
But if they know better, do you let them manipulate us with those sweet eyes? Thats up to you. if it were me, I'd say sweetly "Oh good, I'm so glad you learned and are sorry, that means you'll be out of your room very soon" and off they go.
There will come a day where you wont need the "Oh Oh" song much anymore, that first warning will be enough.
Fore funny parenting stories from the Love and Logic Institute, go to http://www.loveandlogic.com/audioclips.html
I think there is an example of the Oh-Oh song there, and some other great stories so you can see what Love and Logic is more about.
You can also buy books and CD's on that site, or even E-bay. I got a great one called "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood".
GL and have fun.
J., my son had this exact problem when he was little. We had to keep removing him a million times, and redirecting him with something he was interested in as much. That's tricky with a little person. But, they also make those plastic guards that you can place in front of the buttons on the TV or the VCR/DVD player. Then he couldn't get in it. I'm not sure where you get them....(Maybe One Step Ahead, if you google it.) We had a glass door over our DVD/VCR players, on one side of our entertainment center.
J.
What you're talking about here is teaching first time obedience. If you're serious about teaching obedience then distraction is not the answer, despite the fact that 90% of the world will tell you to do that. There has to be consequences for disobedience in order for a child to want to obey. You decide what those consequences are and be consistent (consistency is what will teach her that you are serious). A squeeze to the hand that offends, a swat to the bottom, a time out... You must decide what is best for your child and what will motivate her to want to obey. Typical 16 month old kids KNOW what they are doing when they disobey and the sooner you teach first time obedience, the happier everyone will be. Don't bride. Don't repeat. And don't forget to praise her LOTS and LOTS when she does obey. Reinforce good behavior as well.
We also reserve a "no" for the dangerous things and try to use uh-oh for those things that we don't want them to touch or play with. Then if they don't listen we will give a consequence like time out or a swat to the hand. (something that is appropriate for the activity that was being done.) Pretty soon all I have to say is "uh-oh" and they back away and find something else to do.
HA! We're still going through that! Although my daughter is over two. This probably won't go away for some time but you can start trying to get it under control. But your child has to learn who the boss is. She's trying to push her limits to see what she can do. You need to be stern with her so that she can tell the difference between a playful no and a serious no. A 1-2 minute time out works very well for us. We just simply say "2 minutes" and pop her in her crib. Now even the threat of a time out will get our daughter to stop. Also, like another mom said, squeeze her hand firmly or give her a pop on her behind if you're comfortable with that (I have the hardest time doing that). But every time we punish by time out or a slight physical discomfort, we ask her to say sorry afterwards and we hug and I say I love her, even when she doesn't obey mommy.
There's a really great book called The New Dare to Discipline. I strongly recommend it. I've read it and I loved it. It talks about having to establish authority while still being loving.
Good luck!
K.
That is normal, although agravating. The best thing to do is physically redirect them away, while telling them what to do, instead of what not to do. Then, distracttion is key. Young kids have a very limited attention, so if you get them into something exciting that will help. I'm not saying this will always work, but it is the best way to get them to stop!
She is testing you, don't fail...put her in time out.
