Emotional Needs of a 3 Year Old Boy.

I think just continue to pay attention to him as much as you possibly can. Don't pressure him with the potty training right now...he will do it when he is ready. When you are home, leave special notes or maybe stories that you record on tapes or DVD's to read to him. Leave little gifts like stickers, books, etc. for your mom to give to him when he has good behavior. Get him some library books about hospitals/doctors/medical field for your mom to read to him and explain to him that you are gone to work with the sick people and bring them to the hospital but will be back home soon.Best of luck to you.

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Wow, first off I really commend you for doing what you are doing... you are creating a future for you and your son. What a strong woman you must be!

thankfully, your Mom is a very familiar person in his life and can care for him. I take it that she is nurturing and a good caring Grandma...?

Next, well Is there any way possible, that he can perhaps visit you where you are?
Or, via computer... perhaps you can get a computer video camera thing (those 'eyeball' cameras)... and then that way, you two can "see" each other?

At this age it's hard...because they are still so young... but not yet old enough or mature enough to fully understand where their Mommy is, and why. Thus, what your son is experiencing seems like he is a little depressed.... since he is withdrawing etc. And I'm sure he is feeling insecure about it all too...

Whatever happens, he should not get scolded or punished for his feelings and emotions, nor forced to be perfect or be 'strong' for such a young age. Perhaps... encouraging him to fully express his feelings might be a good outlet for him... boys NEED to learn to express themselves. So they don't get pent up and frustrated. It is a real harm to boys, when they are told things like "be strong... don't cry..." for example.

Next, does your son have any cousins he can play with at home? Perhaps, having some close relatives come over for play dates can help as well. What does your Mom do with him when he is lonely, or when he is acting depressed? THAT can make all the difference as well. What activities do they do together or what is their routine?

Perhaps, give your son an incentive... each week. (since kids at this age don't have a sense of 'time')... for example, "after Mommy calls you tonight... can you make me a picture of your truck? I would LOVE to have a picture you drew you are such a good artist." Or, take photos of where you are and what you do... and give it to him so that he can 'relate' to where you are and what you are doing. It might make him feel a little more secure when you are away....and helps him to form a idea of where you are instead of him just wondering about it. For example: photos of you studying... of you at your paramedic truck, of you at your internship site, of you in the cafeteria etc. Just things you do in your day to day responsibilities. That may be a better "visual" for him, so that he knows his Mommy is okay and misses him too.

I know it must be so hard....and you are doing something so important... and he is so young. I really give you credit for that. I hope some of these ideas helps... but if your son gets too depressed...then you and your Mom must watch out for that. Young children do NOT have 'coping skills' nor the instinctive ability to know how to behave under duress.
Or perhaps, ask your Pediatrician for ideas..

All the best to you and take care,
Susan

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Fellow single Mama, and I say good for you! You're building a solid future for your little family!!

Okay, so potty training I would backburner for bit while he's getting through this transition time of understanding why Mommy is gone so much.

One thing I do is I call my son on pretty much every break I get during the day, unless he's at preschool. Then, I call him when he gets home before nap. This might be harder for you with the travel, but it's worth a shot.

I really like Susan's idea about the special surprises from Mommy and the books explaining your job and what it is you're doing to school for. Also, can you maybe arrange a visit to a site that would explain/show him what you do? My friend is training to be a firefighter and she took her 4 year old to a fire station to explain her frequent absences...it helped him, and then they went out and bought a fire truck.

Keep doing what you're doing! You sound like a super dedicated Mama and you are doing the best you can. And, what would we do without Grandmas??

Oh, the other thing I do is plan an 'adventure' for me and my son to someplace new. Either a day trip or a weekend trip, and I get maps and stuff from the Auto Club and let him help me plan the day.

Good Luck and good work!

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Hi C.:
I concur with the other mothers here.SH : ) excellent response.The only thing I would add is, make sure you and your mom are on the same page.If you don't think your son needs the extra pressure right now,as far as (potty training) then she needs to know, to let up a little, otherwise your going for one result, and she another.I think what your pursuing is wonderful,and just keep making that little guy feel (special) every time you see him.I wish you and your toddler the best.J. M

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