Eight Year's Hair Is Extremely Knotty.

Updated on June 01, 2008
J.C. asks from Kingston, WA
40 answers

I need new ideas for my eight year old's hair. Her hair is extremely knotty at the back of her head. She loves her hair but we struggle over keeping it free of knots.

We have tried different products, shampoos, conditioners, leave-in conditioners. She has a satin pillow case and a hair net for sleeping. Her dad cut it to the shoulder once but it didn't really do anything since the knots are at the back of the neck. Her hair is worse when it gets wet especially the pool water and if we use to much product it looks really greasy which just doesn't feel clean.

What can I do next?

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A.L.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter's hair was like that when she was younger. I had to wash it every night then comb out, and braid it so she could sleep. In the morning, I took it out of the braid and combed it again. So many less knots. She out grew it, but it was a few years of that routine every night.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.S.

answers from Eugene on

I've had the same problem all of my life. THe only thing that works for me is to braid my hair at bed time.

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J.O.

answers from Richland on

My cousin is a hair dresser, and she suggested for my friend daughter with the same issue to put olive oil or grapeseed oil in the hair early in the afternoon before you wash it in the evening. This will help keep dry hair from drying out and tangleing.
She also suggested to make a homemade leave in conditioner. Use a good conditioner, and put a tablespoon amount in a spraybottle, then fill with water. Spray down before combing hair.
She also suggested in investing in a swim pack made by Jaico. Always wet hair completly when she goes into a pool, so the hair will not soak up so much pool chemicals.
Just becareful that you are not washing too much...just because hair is "greasy" does not mean it's "dirty".
Hope this helps~it worked for my friends daughter.

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N.H.

answers from Richland on

Hi J.

It could be the shampoo you are using is too strong for her hair. When hair does not have enough natural oil it has a tendency to tangle. It could be that you will need to have split end trimmed before any hair treatment will work.

I have three girls. They all had hair long as little girls. So I have had many of the same struggles. My 11 yr old still has hair almost to the waist. This is what we do. (1)Trim hair for split ends. (2) She braids her hair every night before bed. (3)In the mornings she takes out the braid and brushes her hair (starting at the bottom, to work out any tangles that might be there.) (4) When she washes her hair she rinses with cool water to ensure that she get out all the shampoo residue. (5) In the past we use to put the conditioner in and then comb out her hair. After working out all the tangle then we rinsed out the conditioner. This helped a great deal. Often times we will spray her hair with infusium This is a great product. It has helped to condition her hair and it helps between shampoos to maintain her hair and keep it looking nice.

Good luck!

N.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.I.

answers from Spokane on

Hello...

My 2 yr. old son's hair is curly and we struggle with knots too! My sister and I both have thick hair and as kids we always used "no more tangles". I use it for my son and it works great! You just spray it on and brush. It is not greasy and is just like getting your hair wet. You dont have to wash it out or anything. You can buy it everywhere. It is always with the kids shampoo. My mom always braided are hair at night too, that really helps.

K.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

My 6 year old's hair gets mighty tangly as well. We have found if we wash it only 2 or 3 times a week, it doesn't dry out and tangle as much. When we do shampoo and condition, we comb her hair thoroughly with the conditioner in it, then rinse. I also find if I can get one of us to brush her hair in the evening it makes it so the morning isn't so bad. Braids to sleep also work wonders. But ultimetely, if she wants long hair and it is prone to tangles she needs to do the work to keep it dread-free. Encourage her to consider a shorter doo without MAKING her do it. She might come around on her own.

You are not alone in the morning with tears and tangles!!!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.Y.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter has naturally curly hair. So when it gets long enough we braid it. This helps to keep the knots away at night.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter had this issue, as her underlayer of hair is very fine. She insisted she grow her hair long as she wanted to donate it to Locks of Love. While I wanted to encourage her to do this, it was horrible to live with. I went online, and very skeptically ordered my last resort solution, after trying many of the suggestions I see in your responses. I ordered a comb by Remington called the Tangle Tamer (here's a link to Amazon - many other places ie Ebay also carry it - http://www.amazon.com/Remmington-DT-800-Remington-Tangle-.... I thought I was wasting my money, but I have never been more thankful for spending a little - there are no fights and no tears, and although it can take some time to get through serious tangles, once you get through the "nest", if you keep up with it, it is a breeze. My daughter's hair is significantly shorter right now, but we still get some tangle spots, and the comb is the first thing we try. It is gentle, and since my hair is long, I use it sometimes, too. Hope this helps!

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

Wash her hair at night and while it is full of conditioner brush it out. Don't rince all the conditioner out and in the morning you can get it wet and brush it out again. Braiding it for bed is great if her hair is long enough. Also a Jojoba treatment is great. Simply get 100% jojoba oil and work about a teaspoon through the hair let is sit a while and wash it like normal. You have a lot of good advise here so far. Keep playing with the shampoo and conditioners too or take her to a salon and get a recomendation.
Is she curly? That will make a big difference in her hair care routine too.

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E.P.

answers from Portland on

I feel your pain. I have a 7 year old who has the thickest, waviest hair on the planet. She hates me to touch her hair and it dreads up in one day. I don't know of any specific product but a did get a little tip from my hair dresser who said to thoroughly ring out her wet hair before conditioning. I think it helped slightly because the conditioner works better. She just got a few layers as well and that helps slightly too.

GOOD LUCK!

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

I used to know a little girl with extremely long hair who braided it every night before she slept to avoid knots. Have you tried that?

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

Try combing it while it is wet - that way it has less of a chance to dry knotted up. Worse come to worse braid it, it can't get knotted if it isn't free flowing.

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

I had knotty hair as a child, and I still have it now. My niece also has my same hair type. You need to use conditioner, but use it on the ends, not all over. Also, No More Tangles (Johnson & Johnson) works well too (on the ends). When you are brushing it out (use a vent brush, not a comb), grab her hair in the middle and hang onto it when you are brushing, so not to pull her hair at the scalp. Also, doing small amounts works better.
She also needs to wash her hair with shampoo and conditioner after she is in the pool, to wash out the chlorine and chemicals that are in the pool.
She will not grow out of this, it's just the way her hair is.

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H.H.

answers from Medford on

I would try putting a braid in her hair at night. Have you used the product Its a 10. It is a leave in spray on detangler. My girls love it, they call it the miracle spray.
Also keeping a braid in her hair in the day too. For some reason it works with the wavy hair from the braid to not be so tangled.

B.F.

answers from Bellingham on

My daughter is 8 and has really, really thin hair that tangles like crazy. We can't put most products in it because it gets greasy looking. I, too, brush through her hair at night and braid it because it is long underneath now. Before it had grown out though, I have her kneel facing me and flip her hair over. Then I would braid it starting at her neck, to get in all those little hairs that would tangle at night. She actually thought it was "cool" and would sometimes wear it to school in a ponytail with this braid up the back. I also make it my daughters job to brush through it first thing in the morning, that way I'm not the mean mom pulling her hair.
I had the same problem, myself, growing up with baby fine hair and it did get better for me in my late 20's.
Good Luck
-B

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have long, thick hair, and what helps me is to get it trimmed regularly (about once a quarter), and I use a "shine" enhancer, which is basically an oil. Lots of brands make them, and I just buy whatever is on sale when I need some. The trick is to not put it on the scalp at all, and only a drop or two (depending on how long/thick her hair is) rubbed between the hands, then smoothed on the ends, and the underside of the back. If her hair is long enough you might keep it braided, especially at the pool.

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D.L.

answers from Seattle on

Try braiding it at night and before she goes in water (except to bathe). When you comb it out, use a nice pick, and work from the ends up-, slowly. Maybe try some conditioning mousse too, that helps me. I have thick wavvy/very curly (underneath) hair. It's long, and I have had issues with it since I was small too. Now it's pretty managable, but with special care like I wrote up above.

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

I use to put my girls hair in a braid when they went to bed. It helped alot!!

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

J.-
My girls don't have this problem, but my friend's two do. (They are 9 and 4.) At first I couldn't believe their hair! Standing straight off the back of their heads were wads of matted, tangled hair! I thought that the mom was just lazy about combing and as soon as they said "Ouch" she would just stop. I've always told my girls that if they want long, beautiful hair they need to buck up and take the pain!!

Anyway, now I know that she could brush their hair 8 times a day if she had the time - it still gets terribly knotty. You could spend a lot of money on washing products through their hair and down the drain, but I think your best answer is an angled bob, a real short, stacked wedge, or keeping it in braids. My daughter has a very short stacked wedge in the back that angles to chin length in the front. She's 6 and loves that she can wash and style it herself before school. And it looks so cute! It was her idea and I allowed her to choose her new 'do after she donated to Locks of Love. I was quite reluctant about the short cut, but she's gotten compliments almost every day that we're out!
Good luck!

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T.B.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,

I'm very curious about this and would love to know the specific quality of her hair. All conditioners aside, hair has certain properties that usually help to keep it from knotting easily - but there are other properties that can work against these and hair can be more susceptible to knotting / tangling.

WR
T. B

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Is it curly? That is a difficult problem.

You might solve the problem by braiding it before she goes to bed. If you moisten it, it will give her a new hair style. Braid it loosely and tie it with a cloth rather than a hair band. Use a cloth like they use to use--thin and sheet like.

What ever you do, if your daughter has curly hair, do not thin it. It will frizz up, make a halo, and she will hate it!

I hope that helps. W.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi... i know the feeling about struggling with crazy hair... I have it all the time and im 25. My hair is real thick and course and frizzy. I usually have to straighten mine with a flat iron. Mabye try that with a little hair syrum for straight hair? Might keep the knots out of her hair? Good luck...

M.A.

answers from Seattle on

That her to a beautician...

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J.L.

answers from Richland on

Have you ever tried a spray detangler? They work great on my niece's very curly hair.

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

Ah..... the rats nest. LOL. I have 5 daughters, and it was the worst in the morning- they would wake up with a tangled/ frizzy mess no matter what I used.
Now, after shampoo/ conditioner, I use a leave in spray conditioner. It is not as bad in the mornings after that. Then I use a pampered chef spray bottle( the one that turns oil into aerosol) with water and biosilk and comb it out. Start at the bottom and work your way up. The biosilk keeps it looking healthy all day and not at all greasy.

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

J., I have l;ong curly hispanic hair I can only brush or comb wet. I have used a product for over 15 years now and never go without... You can get it at any store from Walmart to Sally's beauty supply. It is called Glossing Polish I get the Proclaim brand at Sally's Beauty for $9.49 and it is 12 oz. you are getting the most for your money. I also like the thickness of this one, they varry from really thick to thinner. I don't ever get the thicker ones they are to goopy. When applying use in wet or dry hair ( I like to put in wet hair) start with a small amount, about a dime amount, rub inbetween your hands then through her hair. Not on the scalp, that might make the scalp oily looking. In Sally's there are several ones made by Proclaim I go to the section for African American hair and get the clear bottle with the black lid, no other junk in it, sometimes this makes it sticky or sents. I even add a little bit of this Glossing Polish to my lotion daily to get rid of dry skin and what a difference this makes! I wish you all the luck in the world comming from working in a salon I know the battle you are facing. Give this product a try. My sister in law loves this and almost cut my neice's hair that was at her waist until she tried it.Let me know how this works for you? If you don't have a Sally's remember you can get the stuff where you get groceries. Citrus Shine is a good brand that is not too thick to try if you have to go that route. Just remember not to thick or not to thin, move the bottle around and watch the stuff inside move, if you had to choose then go thinner. You might want to put a little more right where her hair knots. Don't opt for the sissors just yet there is hope and all kinds of products to help you! Please let me know how this works ???
C. B.

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N.D.

answers from Portland on

my cousin has really thick hair and she basically shaved her hair underneath. of course this only works if your daughter never puts her hair up. my cousin did as she thought she was stylin'.

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A.S.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi J., my daughter had the same problem. I was so ready to cut it all off, but the stylist said to just layer it. It has helped soooooo much. Plus, it's just cute! My daughter had super straight hair. You wouldn't think that it would get knots, but it's terrible. I HAVE to condition it and I keep layers in it. Works like a charm.
Good luck!
Ang

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

The new johnson's baby shampoos are different formulas, one for straight hair, one for curly, and they now have a leave in conditioner too. I have used john frieda anti-frizz serum on my daughter, and when she's sleeping on me I run my fingers through her hair, much easier than when she's awake!

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

have you tried braiding her hair at night. I had long hair growing up and whenever I braided my hair at night I didn't have them, but when I don't I get them even now that I have short hair. Just a though.

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S.G.

answers from Portland on

My daughter is now 13 yrs. old. She has natural curly hair. It too has been a struggle for her. We finaly got it now. After she showers. We dry her hair then use a straightner to straighten it.The straightner brings her natural oils out and help with the tangles. I can truly say that since the straightner she has had no tangles. I love it, and so does she. I hope this helps.

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T.S.

answers from Seattle on

My 18 month old has a lot of hair and it is fine so it knot's up pretty easy. We love No More Tangles. My mom used it on me when I was little too. We also discovered Biolage leave in tonic. It works really well and you should be able to findit in your local salon. Good Luck!

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R.B.

answers from Portland on

I have very thick, very curly hair, and i have struggled with this issue for many years. There are some good detanglers out there now...but especially with kids, prevention will be more helpful...I agree with a layered haircut...I have found that as fewer of the ends are the same length, the tangling is less. Also agree with braiding...very helpful, especially if going to bed with wet hair.

However, the reason I decided to respond was that a friend of mine with East Indian heritage told me, because my hair is also dry and frizzy at times, that the reason that East Indian women have such smooth, healthy, lustrous hair is that they are taught to "oil" it regularly...they literally saturate their hair with pure olive oil, comb it through, wrap their heads in plastic wrap, and leave it on for several hours or even overnight, then wash out as usual...on a weekly or every other week basis. This hydrates and smooths each strand...and when the hairshaft is smooth, it cannot catch on another to tangle. I don't do it as often as would be helpful for my curly mass, can't seem to find the time, but I have done it a few times, and can certainly see the benefit. Good luck!!

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B.K.

answers from Seattle on

Heres a couple ideas: If her hair is very thick and even just decent thick you could try thinning her hair. If you have never done this or seen it done I would go to a good - great salon (we go to the puyallup walmart salon and see the manager donna who is excellent with kids and the cuts are about $10-$12 plus she would have even more great ideas) and watch them do it a few times and get an idea on how often and much she needs (unless Donna has a better idea) and look into getting thinning shears if you are comfortable doing it yourself and or she needs it often enough. For my 8 yr old with fine hair a combination of this, having her hair layered, and using suave adult shampoo conditioner and detangling spray have worked wonders! I no longer have to threaten to shave her bald for not brushing her hair! LOL! Also we told our daughter if she wanted long hair she had and has too take care of it right with brushing often and above. Oh another idea is they carry at walmart for a couple bucks and other places I am sure a Shower comb that has wider spaced teeth for combing hair when wet without damaging that we have found works wonders! Good Luck Roberta

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L.S.

answers from Portland on

I use Mayo once a week to keep it smooth. yes mayonnaise;-)) it's great for hair.
sorry I didn't read all the responses on braiding guess that works- Mayo is great bc it's cheap and usually always in the frig.
Lynelle

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

You didn't mention if the hair was long or short. If it's long, try braiding. It stops the knots!

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L.W.

answers from Portland on

My daughter is 10 and has very thick black curly hair mid way down her back. We use Infusium 23 leave in conditioner and/or reg conditioner in a spray bottle. Mix the reg conditioner with hot water in the bottle and shake to dissolve the Infusium is ready to use. I spray her hair down then brush through using a strong wide tooth comb. Try using a smoothing serum before the product (gel,mousse,hairspray). The braid at night helps a lot as the other 2 comments stated. When she goes in the pool make sure her hair is either braided or in a tight bun. Good Luck!

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D.H.

answers from Portland on

When I was that age, I had the same problem and looking back, I wish my mom had been more aggressive about resolving it. I had a school picture taken and there was this big wad of hair sticking out and it made me so embarassed to realize that I had been walking around like that.

I think the mom's suggestion about braiding it for bedtime is a good one. Also using the detangler seems to work. And most importantly, both of you should get in the habit of taking an extra 10 minutes before bed at night and before school each morning to comb it out, even if your daughter resists. She'll get used to it, and if you do it every day, I think it'll get easier.

The only other suggestion would be to get some sort of layered haircut if she will stand for it.

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C.K.

answers from Portland on

I have had long hair for almost 40 years now, and it is below the bra line. When I was younger my mother (who didn't like long hair) would just make me hold still and I got a tough head that way. But that doesn't work for everyone, but little girls who want long hair need to get used to some tangles, until they can manage it on their own.
My advice, separate her hair in fours, start at the neck with a wide comb, start at the bottom of the hair, and work your way up, most people start at the scalp and work down, but you get more tangles that way. You need to be grabbing the hair in the sections up near the scalp and holding it, if you use this method it really works.
Also, sleep on a silk pillow not satin, there is a difference.
Also, over washing can damage hair, washing their hair once a week is enough, the natural oils need to do their trick. So if she is in a swimming pool she is drying her hair out big time, might be worth it to invest in a cap, or you will continue to have the problems. Invest in going to a beauty parlor (go to Molly at Annastasia Salon on Capitol Hwy) if you want to contact me personally I will give you her number, she is worth it and it isn't expensive for a cut,wash,style either, tell her I sent you C. K. she knows her stuff and is as sweet as they come and I am sure she will be able to find a solution to your hair problem, I searched her out because not only did I like her cuts she did on my, but she took her time, and never once did I have a problem with her pulling out hair or anything.
Trust me getting her hair cut will only cause trouble. My mother forbid it when I was younger and I always looked like a rag muffin with that short stuff, I have a face for long hair, but always had to wear it short. Glad their aren't too many pictures when I was younger.
Good luck

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T.M.

answers from Richland on

I would try braids. I have 7 and 9 year old girls, and they love their long hair. However, it gets really tangled. My 9 yr old, spent a few days at her friends house and came home with mats... yes mats, like little dreadlocks. I almost chopped her hair off right there, but she really loves long hair, so we had a talk about responsibility. She takes a lot more care with her hair, and sometimes we braid it for sleeping, swimming, extreme outdoors play. Braiding helps a lot to keep the hair from knotting up. We also keep leave-in conditioner in when we braid, to avoid damage at all costs.

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