July 04, 2008,
K.L. asks from Kyle, TX on April 15, 2008
I have been trying to lose weight for the last 5 years or so, and it's always a failed mission. My husband won't let me cook anything healthy. If I do, I have to cook a completely different meal for him. I just don't have the time or energy working full time and raising a 5 month old. He is a salt/sugar-aholic. He likes an obsessive amount of it on EVERYTHING!
I would like to get fresh veggies from the store and steam them, then put over whole grain rice. Sounds good to me! Well, he only eats veggies if they come out of a can (with all that sodium, then he adds butter and MORE salt!), or only eats noodles if they're cooked in butter. He was raised differently than I was and our eating habits show it. His family eats for taste and mine comprimises a little taste for health. We are also on the go go go all the time. We have 2 other kids that play sports. We tend to eat out a lot, and that is one of my weaknesses. I can plan to eat a salad all I want, but once I get into that fast food joint and smell those hamburgers, it's all downhill from there.
As far as exercising goes, I try to get out and walk/run as much as I can, but my schedule is a little hectic. It's not like I'm a couch potato at all though. I'm constantly getting up and down with the baby, washing dishes and clothes, cleaning the house, etc... My husband is not all that supportive of my exercise efforts. I've asked him numerous times to acompany me on our walks, but each time he refuses. I tend to get bored by myself (and stroller) and end the session quickly.
So to sum it up, I need to gain will power when we eat out and I need to find a way to be able to cook healthy at home, and have my husband eat it too! I also need to figure out how to work out without getting bored! Does anyone have some secret tips to help me?
So What Happened?™
First of all, thank you to everyone who responded and gave me advice for handling my delima! I spoke with my husband and told him I'm not happy with our eating habits or how I look. I said I want to start cooking and eating HEALTHY! He said "what's healthy?" He agreed that he wants our kids to have better eating habits than he does, and that he wants me to be happy with myself. However, he did NOT mention he'd like to be healthier, himself. But he agreed to TRY, and that's a HUGE step. He did say that he just can't help what he likes and doesn't like. I think that you have some control and can somewhat train your tasetbuds, it just takes a little effort. We'll see how it hoes, and thanks again for everyones advice!
If anyone has a good/healthy recipes that your families love, please send them to me! :)
P.S. as for exercising, I have made it a daily task to get SOME sort of exercise. I spoke with a friend who has a baby. She and I are going to walk/run twice a week. The other days, I'll either run, work out to a video, or play outside with the kiddos. I'll even take vigorous house cleaning! I just have to stay motivated! I walked 3 miles with my gf on Tuesday and ran/walked 3 miles BY MYSELF yesterday! I feel so much better when I exercise; I have more energy. Hopefully I can keep this up. Keep your fingers crossed for me...
B.S. answers from Waco on April 16, 2008
If all he'll eat is canned veggies, rinse them off really well, that helps a little with the sodium.My husband salts everything without tasting it so I cook without salt. I'll use other spices instead so that everyone elses food isn't bland. When my weight creeps up I just cut back on my protions. I don't deny myself something I like because when I do eat it I'll go overboard. I also cut down on the amount of bread and potatoes I eat. I don't lose fast but I do lose.
T.D. answers from Houston on April 16, 2008
My situation with my husband is quite similiar. I started working out and changing my eating habits about 6 years ago. My husband, while not minding what I did, had no desire to change his. I slowly made substitutions, like vegetable to canola oil, salt substitute in a shaker, (he never knew the difference), I switched us over to 2% milk and I cook with fat free skim. He still does not work out, although he says he needs to. I just made a decision every morning that I would take whatever time I had available to walk. Now I use an elliptical machine and lift weights regularly. It has changed my body so much and it is a slow process. I can't tell you the difference it makes in how I feel about myself. Good luck and I hope this helps some.
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R.C. answers from San Antonio on April 16, 2008
You should sit your husband down and explain to him your fitness goals. Also, tell him that you love him and you want his health to impove as well, so that you are both here to see your children grow up and have families of their own. Explain to him the bad habits that you both will pass on to your children if you continue to eat unhealthy meals and eat out all the time. Let him know that is not what you want for your family, and that you no longer have the energy to fix 2 meals. Hopefully, if you approach him with respect and with a genuine concern for his health, he will respond by being more supportive of your efforts to lose weight and agree to eat what you make. If he still refuses to eat what you cook, make him cook for himself and you cook for you and your children. I agree with some of the other women "if it were your child refusing to eat what you cook, would you make a whole other meal for them?"
As far as the exercising goes, if your husband won't join you, make him aware that you expect him to stay with the children while you take the time for yourself to get a good workout in. Join a gym where there are many different types of cardio equipment and weight training equipment as well as group classes to attend. You are less likely to get bored if you attend a class. Also, you're not likely to cut out of a class early. You can't force him to exercise if he doesn't want to, but he needs to respect you and your goals enough so that he doesn't get in the way of them.
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A.B. answers from Houston on April 16, 2008
Weight Watchers. It really works. It teaches you how to eat normal foods, normal portions and make better choices. You can even eat out and do really well. I swear by it. I've even tried different diets since I did WW and it is by far the best. Restrictions make me crazy. Weight Watchers is rewarding!
The best way to succeed at it is to give it your best for two weeks while you learn. Go to your meetings and keep the food journal. You will find that you can still make good food decisions while eating with your family.
Don't let your husband's opinions sabotage you. Find a neighbor to walk with or get a gym buddy. You can do it! It's your body and you have the right to be what ever size you want to be!
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R.W. answers from San Antonio on April 16, 2008
He's an adult. He can cook his own dinner.
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R.L. answers from Houston on April 16, 2008
First off you need to sit down and talk to your husband about the importance of eating healthy for BOTH of you. Excess weight can cause so many health issues later in life. Next find some healthy recipes that you think he would like and start making those.
Personally, in my house, if no one likes what I cook, then they make their own dinner. I cook 1 meal and that is it! If he won't agree to eating healthy then tell him he needs to make his own meals if he doesn't like yours!
I've been doing Weight Watchers online, and it is a great way to learn how to eat healthy. Their web site also has some free features, I think you can find great recipes for free. PLus there are plenty of other web sites for healthy eating with great recipes! Don't give up, I'm sure you can find a compromise, but make sure you don't compromise your own health and well being!
S.W. answers from Austin on July 04, 2008
Sharing with you some help that goes beyond the planning of healthy meals. Kay is wonderful and EFT is amazing. I use it all the time in my healing and massage practice. You are welcome to call and ask me about it if you are interested. S. ###-###-####
I am enclosing the last flyer I received, other groups have been formed I am sure. I know at times it seems overwhelming to take care of everyone else as they wish and be healthy for yourself too. I know you know if you are not healthy you can't take care of others. Good job on being able to speak up and help your family be healthier.
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certain way. We use EFT to release compulsive feelings towards certain foods, inner conflicts related to eating, and to bring about balance. Results have been impressive including weight loss, loss of inches, increase in exercise, and improvements in diet without having to "try" (the changes feel natural and without inner conflict). Everyone is encouraged to use EFT on a daily basis.
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* My biggest win continues to be the freedom from chocolate cravings. As I told you, I used to have chocolate stashes in the refrigerator, pantry and a secret "emergency" supply. I ate chocolate at least once per day and often 2-4 times per day and lots of it at a time. Losing weight or inches was impossible. If I did without dark chocolate I would substitute chocolate cookies. I knew it was bad for me, but my will power/resolve took a back seat to cravings. This was until EFT. After the first training session in your workshop I went 10 days without eating chocolate. I even went to lunch with girlfriends. We didn't have a chocolate dessert. They shared something and I passed......
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L.B. answers from Corpus Christi on April 16, 2008
Once you tell yourself that you are going to do something, you just need have great self-control when it comes time to do whatever that "something" may be. When I wanted to start eating healthy, I just had to keep telling myself no, no, no to all those burgers. I would ever talk myself out of going through a drive-thru. It is very hard to do though. With the exercising, using an Ipod or listending to music while you walk or workout is extremely helpful. The music makes the time fly for me.
I'm sorry about you having no support from your husband. I know exactly how that feels. The first time I tried to do any type of "healthy living" my husband was not with me at all. Needless to say the grocery bill was a little more than it should have been, because of having to buy groceries for him and for me. Now I am at the point it he doesn't like it then he doesn't have to eat it. I make one meal for everyone. All my husband has to do is walk ten steps and make himself something else to eat.
I know that all of this is better said than done, but once you get into a routine of eating healthy and working out, it will come naturally and it won't be hard at all. I promise that it does get easier.
B.C. answers from Austin on April 16, 2008
I had some serious health problems which required me to try to lose weight. My spouse was somewhat less than supportive only if b/c like yours he likes his meat and potatoes (and ice cream). I decided that I would grocery shop and cook only the healthy things that I was suppose to eat. (I too have a problem with will power of not eating the "goodies" if available). He could either shop and cook his additional high fat, high salt items for himself or he could eat what is put in front of him. I told him in advance what I planned on doing and why. No surprise here, he ended up eating what was put in front of him b/c he had neither the time or the inclination to shop and cook.
A.V. answers from Houston on April 16, 2008
I don't mean to be rude, but if your husband doesn't like what you cook, he can make his own meal. I would cook one healthy meal for the whole family. You need to take of yourself, so you can care for your family.