Ear Piercing Uneven, Crooked, Daughter 8 - Chicago,IL

hi
let it close up.. why?? because like her, when I was her age, I had one ear that was done lower and yes.... it does show up today.. grrrrrrrrr
I wish my mom had noticed ............... and if she did, she did nothing about it...
thing is.. I don't wear heavy earrings., but IF I did.. then that one hole that is lower would definitely appear as if it's almost torn... the hole is just so close to the lower lobe..
let hers close while she is young.. this way, the hole might dissapear whereas as an adult... they might close up a little.. but the hole still shows.. :(

As a kid I had much the same experience, at about the same age (9). They weren't dead center, they didn't quite match... but I loved them.

Several years later I got them professionally done at a piercing parlor (professional piercer... that's ALL they do, all day, every day... trained/licencend/portfolios of work/ education in anatomy for veins/nerves/etc.

They look SO much better. They're higher (centered), and match, and are gorgeous. The previous holes from the gun at Claires are still there, sealed up. They're annoying, to be frank.. the sealed channel is still there... so I can't just reach up blindly and slip in posts... I have to do it quite carefully and with a mirror.

BUT I've always been thrilled with my mum for letting me get my ears pierced... and as soon as the placement actually started bothering ME (several years later) I had them redone. Easy. And a good lesson learned at a time when I was capable of learning it.

My mum probably could have been "Whoops, honey, we need to get that redone... stuff happens... no big deal." and I wouldn't even have noticed... but as it was... I didn't notice anyway. I was just thrilled with my "beautiful ears".

So take a breath and relax... whether you redo them now... or in several years... they're beautiful to your daughter and you are obviously her hero. Bask in it. And then do what makes the 2 of you happiest.

Updated

As a kid I had much the same experience, at about the same age (9). They weren't dead center, they didn't quite match... but I loved them.

Several years later I got them professionally done at a piercing parlor (professional piercer... that's ALL they do, all day, every day... trained/licencend/portfolios of work/ education in anatomy for veins/nerves/etc. which isn't as important for ears but is vital for other locations).

They look SO much better. They're higher (centered), and match, and are gorgeous. The previous holes from the gun at Claires are still there, sealed up. They're annoying, to be frank.. the sealed channel is still there... so I can't just reach up blindly and slip in posts... I have to do it quite carefully and with a mirror.

BUT I've always been thrilled with my mum for letting me get my ears pierced... and as soon as the placement actually started bothering ME (several years later) I had them redone. Easy. And a good lesson learned at a time when I was capable of learning it.

My mum probably could have been "Whoops, honey, we need to get that redone... stuff happens... no big deal." and I wouldn't even have noticed... but as it was... I didn't notice anyway. I was just thrilled with my "beautiful ears".

So take a breath and relax... whether you redo them now... or in several years... they're beautiful to your daughter and you are obviously her hero. Bask in it. And then do what makes the 2 of you happiest.

Hi TJH :-)

I've read through your post and mostly, I sense that this is all about YOUR worries and concerns and fears and self judgment. Your daughter is HAPPY with the whole thing and hasn't noticed anything "off".. so first, lets celebrate that this was a positive event for her!

Now, lets help you! You seem to be going through all of the self doubts and self judgments about being a good mom, a good person, listening to your inner wisdom, but my guess is, no matter WHAT the final decision was.. as in perhaps it being you decided she was too young and your daughter got upset etc.. you would STILL be judging yourself that the decision was not correct. These feelings are coming from deep within and not so easy to heal in "in the moment".

Why not make a list of ALL of the times you have made GREAT decisions... like having a beautiful daughter and being a WONDERFUL person in her life.. as well as ANY time you've had to make a decision and the outcome was positive. Generally, when we are under stress, we NEVER look at the positives, but instead stress over the negatives and highlight them and then think THAT is ME!

You are a good person, or you wouldn't be here asking for help! The best way to set examples for our children is to work with healing ourselves and our own level of self esteem. So enjoy this Thanksgiving day.. be thankful that your daughter is happy as a lamb about her new pierced ears! Be thankful that she came into this world and chose YOU to be her mom and be thankful that you are a wonderful person and doing the best that you can, each and every moment! You are not a failure, this is your own judgement against yourself, so take some time today to go INTO your heart where the beautiful loving YOU exists, and give yourself some love. Your daughter's ears are perfect, and so are you!

Happy Thanksgiving,
hugs,
A. www.amyfreundbodytalk.com

Well some would say you were really late getting her ears pierced and some would say you shouldn't have done it at all. But what other say really doesn't count. Your daughter wanted it done, your husband said yes, you had fear for whatever reason. I lied to my aunt so that she would peirce my ears when I was 9, my mother never got her ears pierced out of fear and didn't want me to get mine pierced. It sounds like you are projecting your fear on her and that is not fair. She is happy, your husband thinks they look fine. Maybe you see them as a little off because you didn't want her to have it done so you are looking for any flaw you can find. I seriously doubt that any one will notice a slight difference. It is really hard to get them perfectly aligned since ears are not identical. Relax, it is done and she is happy, be happy for her and enjoy the holiday season.

I had a few piercings come out crooked. My frist ones were even, and were done when I was a few weeks old. When I got older I started getting more holes (13 pairs) and a few of them were crooked. Didn't really matter much because I was the only one who could tell.
If your husband says they look fine, I think your just obsessing. If she likes them, then just leave them alone. I would not recommend letting one close up and re-do it. I would just leave them alone, afterall your ears aren't completely level, and you don't hold your head straight all the time either. Just beware that even when they close up they leave a mark on the ear. I have a bunch that are sealed up but you can still see where they were.
I think you just need to breathe and relax about it, and remember she loves them!

This exact same thing happened with our 9 year old a few weeks ago. I noticed immediately after her piercings were completed that one was higher than the other. The girls at Claire's told me that it was due to the swelling and that they will even out in a week or so, but if not, to come back and they'll redo them...but I had to wait atleast a full week. Well, when the time came to redo them, my daughter outright insisted that she was fine with her ears the way they were, so we left her alone and figured that if she wanted them redone when she was older, she could do it on her own. I must admit--now that she's had them pierced the whole 6 weeks--it's incredibly difficult to tell that they aren't exactly even.

sounds like this is more about your ambivalence about the piercing itself rather than horror over the uneven-ness. i'll bet most folks' piercings aren't exactly symmetrical. i wouldn't know. i'm the only gal i know with NO piercings whatsoever! but i think you are creating a lot of unnecessary angst for yourself. she's happy, she pushed herself through fear to get it done, and it's a fait accompli. relax. when she's older she can decide to let them close and get 'em re-pierced if she wants.
don't cry! you're not a failure!
you'll have WAY better stuff than this to feel like a failure over<G>.
;) khairete
S.

I don't think your daughter was too young. My mother let me decide when I was ready and I did it at 7. I felt like I was really old at that point since most of my friends had them a long time before. I was able to take care of my ears and didn't have a problem - although less than a week after I had them pierced, my earring got hooked on something and tore my earlobe. I didn't even know until my mom saw it. Well, we just had to take out the earring (that was painful) and then clean it everyday and put in a different earring. I am 31 now and still have great ears so trust that she can take care of herself.

I think you should let it go. I worked at Claires when I was in college and we made the nervous mothers step away. No one else will notice the slight offset. Most people get the ears pieced as babies, so your daughter is way older than average. Worry, when she wants a tougue or navel piercing.

First forgive yourself. What has been done is done. Secondly. your daughter doesn't noticed that they aren't even. If you are drawing attention to them she will become self conscientious. It is very possible that her lobes are a little swollen.

Take care
J.

I know you've already received feedback, but I am unable to read them. ??? Anyway, just wanted to add my thoughts on this... my mom had my ears pierced in the doctor's office when I was three months old and it wasn't until just a few years ago that I noticed they weren't even. I was bummed about it because I started to stare a them more in the mirror. I'd pay more attention to how one earring hung lower than the other if I wore dangling ones. I think that lasted about a week and until now I haven't given it much thought nor do I notice. If your daughter is completely unaware of it and she loves them then just keep quiet about it. I am 32 now and if there is one thing I can be thankful for is that I didn't get my sister's protruding ears. She had them surgically "pinned back" a few years ago which was very painful. I'll take a less than perfect piercing over big ears any day.

I had my ears pierced when I was 9 and they were crooked (turns out my ears aren't even). Only my grandma noticed. It wasn't much of a big deal to me and no one commented until I pierced my ears a second time. Then my mom complained the second ones were crooked because the two holes were closer on one ear than the other. I notice it now if I wear certain earrings, but frankly it's more annoying that my ears don't match. I've had many ear piercings since then. If you take them out before they heal, it won't leave much of a mark at all. The longer you wait, the less well they heal. I didn't wear earrings in one of my holes for two years and they didn't close (after having them for about 7 years). One of them I haven't worn earrings in for almost 20 years and it has only partially closed (after having that one for about 5 years). The one I had for 4 years is closed but has a scar. The one I had for less than a year, you can't see. Hope this helps.

I had my ears pierced at 8 or 9 and the same thing happened with one of my ears. The piercing on one side was not straight through the lobe. I had trouble with it for a year because when I was in a hurry to put an earring through the hole, it wasn't straight, and I would sometimes make it sore or bleed. The lobe got so bad that I took the earring out and let it grow closed. I had it repierced several years later. It was so sore and so gross that I still remember 30 years later. I say convince your daughter to have them redone by someone who is more experienced.

Call Claires tomorrow and see what their policy is about re-piercing. I imagine they will just redo the one ear and you can be done with it. I dont think when the 1st one it heal,s the 1st piercing will even be noticeable, maybe just a little dot.Take Dad or an adult friend with so you both agree it is even this time. Good luck

Most earlobes heal very easily. My sister got her ears peirced at 8 years old and she was too young to take care of them. Even though she dutifully turned the front of the earrings every few hours she never turned the BACKS of the earrings and after a few months our parents realized the backs of her ears grew RIGHT OVER the back of the earings. The growth was so complete that she had to go to a doctor and have the earings SURGICALLY REMOVED. The earings were left out so her ears could heal, and a couple years later she got them repeirced and to this day they look great. There was no discernable scar and our family scars easily. I think if you take them out and let them heal (obviously keep them clean and don't pull on them while they're healing cuz they may itch) her lobes should be fine.

Sounds like me. My ears are crooked. When i got them pierced (at age 16) the person did one ear. Then the other. Then decided it was uneven so he repierced the second ear. I nearly fainted. It's a choice when your ears are uneven - either you have the same distance from the base of your earlobe to the hole...or you have the holes 'level' but the distance from the bottom of the 2 lobes will not be equal. Basically, I can't wear big discy type earrings - only small studs and/or dangly earrings. But I have long hair, so the dangly look good.