Hi mommas,
I am pregnant with my first baby, due in June, and planning on having a no-intervention, non-medicated birth. My sister had a beautiful home birth last year which I attended, so I have seen how wonderful and "easy" a birth can be. Of course it was not "easy" for her - but she made it look easy and gave me hope that I can too. She was in active labor for about 8 hours, and was an amazing, graceful, powerful birthing woman.
However, ALL of my other friends who have had hospital births in the past 2 years (8 friends and family members) have had less-than-positive birth experiences. Several were induced despite their wishes, and 4 ended up having cesareans despite their wishes. One, who was induced one week before her due date because she was in for her weekly non-stress test and the baby's heartbeat seemed to be slowing down during a contraction, continued to be induced for 3 days until she finally gave birth. She was actually told by her doctor afterward that it turned out that her baby had been fine and they shouldn't have induced.
Anyway, my Doctor (Dr Shefali Gandhi-List from Women's Care) knows my wishes, and supports me. She said I will write my birth plan, and every nurse/doctor who comes into my laboring room will read it before they come into contact with me. But once I'm in the hospital, I wonder how things will go. My plan is to stay home as long as safely possible once I go into labor, so there will be less time for any interventions to possibly happen. I live one mile from the hospital.
Does anyone have advice for me? Or positive experiences they can share, especially if you have delivered at Sequoia Hospital in Redwood City?
Thank you!
Ladies, thank you so much for your words of support, advice and encouragement. I will contact some of you personally to get more details from you about what you mentioned. I have read 2 of Ina May Gaskin's books, am currently reading Birthing From Within, and my husband is reading The Birth Partner. I have the Birth As We Know It dvd, which I plan to watch with my husband in preparation. I think I will also ask my sister if she will be at the birth with us. I also have a couple of friends who are doulas, and maybe one of them would be willing to give us a discounted price. I have opted out of the home-birth option because the insurance coverage was such a nightmare for me. Nevertheless, we are ending up paying much more for the in-network coverage than we thought we would, because our my husband's company's health plan changed considerably this year, so we don't have a whole lot of extra money to hire a doula. Fingers crossed, and lots of preparations in place, everything will go well, and I will update you all in June!
I delivered two of my three babies at Sequoia--16 and 21 years ago--and I was very happy with the experience, start to finish. My OB-Gyn is Gary Toig and I love him. I found all the staff at Sequoia to be very responsive to my needs and never felt pushed into anything.
best of luck, and I hope all goes according to plan, but having the hospital there in case it doesn't is invaluable, in my humble opinion.
Hi G.,
I definitely agree with the other moms who recommended a doula. I also wanted to mention that if you do have to be induced for some reason, it is still totally possible to have a positive and unmedicated birth experience. I was induced (long story behind that), but the induction ended up being the only intervention and I had an absolutely wonderful natural birth experience aside from that. I actually wrote down my birth story a couple weeks after my daughter was born. I would be happy to share it with you if you're interested. Just send me a message.
Good luck!
I recommend hiring a doula. The doula is your partner during child birth and will be with you almost the entire time (except for the early contractions and bathroom breaks :) She'll come to your home and coach you so you know what you're going through is normal. She'll tell you when it's time to go to the hospital. She'll be advising nurses on your behalf when you are unable to talk (due to contractions). Some hospitals forbid you from bringing doulas. Avoid those hospitals, they're not patient friendly.
BTW, I paid my doula $700 and she earned every penny. I was in labor for 3 days and still managed to have a non-medicated birth. I give her a lot of credit for that.
Hi G.,
I really understand where you're coming from. I wanted the same for my first birth and while I delivered at Kaiser, not Sequoia, I think the things that helped me would help you as well.
As another Mom said: hire a doula. My doula was amazing. She walked us through the birth plan-writing process so our plan was more likely to be read by hospital staff. Most importantly, she was an amazing coach and supported me all the way through my un-medicated 14-hour labor and birth. She was an amazing support to my husband as well and a terrific advocate in the hospital. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have a strong, supportive, knowledgeable team around you while you are in labor. Helpful, but not essential, to hire a doula familiar with the hospital where you will deliver.
I also recommend reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. This book is divided into two sections, the first of which is a collection of birth stories-- all unmedicated, natural, normal deliveries with all the variations that are considered "normal" in a non hospital setting.
If you do hire a doula, you might ask if she has DVDs of births you can watch. I did this with my second birth-- watching natural, normal birth over and over helps you learn the rhythm of the experience. It also tells your subconscious over and over that this is normal, natural, and not a fundamentally medical experience.
Good luck and I hope you have a straightforward labor and a beautiful birth.
Living only a mile from the hospital, have you yourself considered a home birth? I've had 2 wonderful home births (3yrs and 4mo), but I know a woman who's had positive experiences with both her births at Sequoia if you want me to ask her about them.
Hi! Dr. Shefali is a personal friend of mine and I am sure that she will do all she can to make your birth experience a positive one. She is a wonderful and caring physician and really enjoys delivering babies. Most of the nurses at Sequoia go to her for their health issues/deliveries. I can say with much assurance that she will not force you into something that you don't want. Listen to your body and trust your doctor because you have one of the best on your side! Happy Birthing Day!!
I see Camille has already given you some great advice. The 3 biggest keyes to the birth that you are desiring is to hire a doula, to not be induced and as you said to stay at home as long as possible. Who you have as a Doctor makes a huge differece too. Gary Hoff is a good Doctor to have over there.
Best wishes!
J.
Hi there G., I certainly am sympathetic to your concerns, and wish that I had some specific advice, but I don't. The people I know who have given birth in the hospital have experiences similar to what your friends report, and this usually despite all their wishes stated at the outset. However, I do think that the fact that you have seen your sister give birth and in a healthy, wholesome, non-traumatic way,in a supported situation, is something really in your favor as far as being able to feel strong and "normal" when you are in labor. So many of us have not seen a woman give birth before we do it, and then it seems overwhelming-;because labor is intense!-- and we are vulnerable in so many ways, and of course especially vulnerable to the people around us-like doctors-telling us to do this or that intervention. You don't feel like doing battle while you are in labor. I think your experience of your sister is a real help to you, an internal guide (although not as a way to think, it has to be like hers, or my body has to labor like hers etc or else I am not a good laborer, etc..).I think watching as many unedited films of women giving birth is good too. Having your sister with you if possible, and any other significant people such as husband/boyfriend/partner, mother, girlfriend etc, and telling them your desires and concerns that the doctors won't support you..It is unfortunate that the doctors and nurses haven't seen women give birth in non-hospital settings, or situations that aren't oriented to interventions..anyway, I sure do wish you the best possible time and I wish you a lot of joy and fun too in the months to come with your new baby and life. I have two grown ones, and I wish I could do it all over again!!
