Duaghter Running into the Street... Thinks It Is Funny!

My little man was guilty of the same thing, my boys are 18 months apart, and we also live in a complex so need to go to the parking lot to get to the car. Here's what worked for me:
1. "Hand, please!" I use this ALL the time to remind little man that he need to hold my hand. He is allowed to NOT hold my hand on grassy areas but MUST hold my hand whenever he's on any kind of pavement. This is also a great thing when we're someplace crowded and I don't want him lost in the shuffle.
2. For when Peanut 2 arrives: I put baby in a front pack (Baby Bjorn, snugli, whatever you have...) before we leave the house. Don't even TRY to negotiate the car seat and your toddler! You'll go mad, hurt yourself, or one of them. Have toddler hold your hand out to the car ("Hand, Please!" again...) and buckle her in FIRST. Baby is secure in your front pack and you can use both hands to deal with your little girl. Once toddler is in, then you can safely buckle baby into her carseat - I almost never take the infant carrier carseat out of the car now unless we're going to a restaurant and need a place for baby to sit. I use the snugli almost exclusively.
3. Red Light, Green light (Stop, Go; Freeze, whatever words work for you - I'd go with whatever words you find yourself instictively screaming when she runs in the road...) Play the game at home inside until she catches on. However, don't count on this. My little man understands the concept and is an expert at the game but will "Green light" himself if he thinks he's been waiting too long.
4. Go ballistic. Completely go off on your little girl if she does it. My little man thought it was funny too (he's quite the charmer and can usually smile his way out of trouble, too.) until Mommie had steam come out of her ears. I don't recommend REALLY losing control - just make her THINK you did - Little Man needed to get the idea that this was a SERIOUS infraction and time out was just not enough to get his attention as quickly as I needed. I pulled out all the stops on this one, he lost playdates, Mommie yelled like a maniac, we time out-ed, I did swat his bottom (although I think that was the least effective method for my little bottom-o-steel guy...)
5. Practice. Take your princess out during the day when the parking lot is NOT busy and work on the "Hand, please!" and whatever stop-go game you use. Do this A LOT before you deliver so she's really a pro before your next one arrives. Enlist Dad on this, too. It doesn't matter who teaches her this as long as everyone does the same thing. My hubby was really the one who did the majority of practices since I couldn't chase Little Man either. However, if dad lays the groundwork, you can reap the rewards, too!
Hope this helps. :-)

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My husband had this idea early on & it has pretty much worked all along with my now 3 1/2 year old. He taught him early on that when the ground was black (blacktop/asphault), he needed to hold our hand. This took care of the parking lots or streets--but when he is on the concrete (not black) he is okay to walk himself. It has seemed to work pretty well and has helped him understand that there is a difference. Maybe showing her that there are boundaries in a kid-friendly way may help her realize where she can go and not go. Another idea may be to "encourage" her with treats (my kids like those fruit snacks and usually one at a time is enough)to not run into the street. The harness idea works too--but when you're holding the new baby and holding the harness it may get a little hard (trust me, I've tried). Best wishes to you as you work on this.

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have you tried the hand of knowledge applied to the seat of understanding!

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In my "mommy and me" class we sing the freeze song. Maybe you could try. Just crank up some tunes on the stereo, dance around and shut it off while yelling freeze and "freeze" then continue throughout the song. Do this a few times a day and then start to use your "freeze" word in other situations and hopefully your daughter will"freeze" as it is part of a game. One mom said she used it in the same situation you are describing and it stopped her daughter from running out into the middle of the street!

Good luck to you! I too have a 21 month old daughter and a 5 month old boy who was very active in the womb....he is still VERY active!!

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Hi S.,
I was where you are about a year ago. My now 3 1/2 yro.(my active,very busy boy) thought it was funny also. I did get after him, but lets face it, they are going to test us more than once! I bought the "Buddy Harness" at Target. They are a backpack harness (they have a dog, bear or monkey) with a leash and have a zipper pouch for snacks, keys, ect. They are only $10.00 and are adorable too ! I too was pregnant when my son was 2 1/2 and that harness is a life saver. I got so many compliments from people about what a great idea, though some would give me weird looks. I look at it this way, If my son and I were at the street corner waiting to cross with another parent and child, but that child didn't have a harness, who's child is most likely to jump in the street and get hit? I have even had people tell me about how they never believed in them until there child was running in the street and then they went out and bought one. Like I said, you can still work with your child about safety while using the harness, at least your keeping her safe and making it easier for you to get errands done with her. I put my sons on everywhere ( grocery store, target, outings, ect.) helps work off that extra energy ! Within time it will get better, Good Luck and congratulations on your soon-to-be baby boy !

1 mom found this helpful

I totally understand the rush out the door to get to work. I have a three year old and was just going through that. I suggest walking her outside hand and hand and placing her directly in her car seat and strapping her in. It is too much work to harness her to and from the car. When I have a lot of items to carry out, I use a cart with wheels to place everything in so it all moves at the same time. The kid goes in first and the everything else.

Best of luck. I know it frustrating, but it won't last forever ~ just a phase.

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I personally wouldn't do the box thing. I think it's over the top. I bought a child "leash" and attached it to my kids wrists when we went for walks because 2 of them tried that too. They HATED it. I simply told them if they were going to continue to run into the street it was staying...they stopped immediatly. Good luck!

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Hi S.,

I was just reading your responses and I LOVE the "freeze" idea. That seems like sound advice that will carry you through many situations. I wish I had thought of it! I just wanted to say that I was having a little trouble with my son when he was about 4. The idea about the box is a good one too. Let me tell you what happened in our house. We lived on a very safe cul-de-sac and his best friend was just across - only 1 house apart. I educated my son on the dangers of going into the street and stopping behind driveways. On one occasion he left his little tryke behind the car of the driveway next to us to run home and use the bathroom. After he was done we walked out together just in time to see the neighbor run over the tryke. He got the message loud and clear when I told him it was broken and couldn't be fixed and I promptly threw it in the trash. It was a tough lesson but then those lessons are the most memorable with the most impact. Good luck to you.

L. L

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Find something that can be a "special" toy or treat for the car. If she doesn't run out in the street, she gets in when you get there. If she does, she doesn't get it. You can remind her as you're leaving that it's waiting for good little girls that don't run in the street. This would provide your "time out" in the car. And, I wholeheartedly support a good swat on the butt for running in the street. Safety is more important at this point. Good luck.

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My 2 year old ran into the Target parking lot! I thought she was a doomed. She thought it was funny too! My husband ran on one side and I ran onto the other side to catch her. He got to her first and boy did he yell at her. He isn't the kind of person to yell, so it surprised me and it really had an impact on her. We made it a point of making her hold hands and NEVER step out from the curb anywhere. She definitely got the point. I think that sometimes, especially, in this instance a parent needs to be harsh to make a learning statement that could be life or death for your child. She totally got it and always listens now. She got that it was dangerous. I think mainly because we both were very upset, scared and angry that she didn't listen. Good luck!

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DO NOT run over a box in the street!!! She's too young to understand what you're even doing. She's too young to know what danger even is. It is your job to keep her safe at her age, not hers!!!
I would get a harness for her (you can find them in the baby aisle at Target or Wal Mart). They look like backpacks, and have a strap for you to hold on to. Have her wear the harness to the car and put her in her carseat immediately when you get to the car.

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Hi;
Same situation here. 2 1/2 year old daughter, I'm 8 months pregnant. I have tried the toddler harness. It works, but when she really wants to run, she ends up straining on it and having a temper tantrum and then eventually hurls herself to the ground/sidewalk and pitches a real fit. Mostly, I just tell her that if she doesn't hold my hand, she will have to be buckled in the stroller. I tell her that whenver there's cars around (even parked cars) she has to hold my hand because it's dangerous. She understands the dangerous part and does not seem traumatized by it. And if she tries to break free she knows she's immediately going in the stoller. A temper tantrum is a small price to pay for the safety of your child. Good luck.

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I totally agree with what Jennifer G said. Both our boys have done they. They were aptly called bolters. The things that helped the most:
- Yelling STOP!! really loud when they would start running into the street. I don't yell and reserve it for safety situations, so it is always startling and stops them in their tracks.
- Insist they hold your hand, and if they don't go back inside. This may be inconvenient if you are trying to go somewhere, so the idea of practicing is a great one. Both my boys know that when we are in a parking lot, they MUST hold my hand. So much so my older one (just 6) asks me for my hand now.

It takes practice to change a habit. It took about 6 months before they were cooperative and aware of safety. Just be persistent!
Take care,
B.

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I completely relate - my son did this a couple of times - in the grocery store parking lot, scared me half to death! I was pregnant too at the time, it is so awful when this happens.

I bought a toddler harness at Target, it was $10 and adorable, it looks like a monkey, and started using it with my son all the time. We really only needed it for a few weeks, then he got over doing that - I think it was because he knew he wasn't going to be able to do it with the harness on...but whatever, it worked!

I know the one I bought also comes as a puppy - they really are cute, they look like an animal backpack, and the tail is the handle. Don't worry about what other people with think, just do what makes you feel safe.

He will stop doing that - my son will be 3 in 2 months and he stopped about 2 months ago.

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I used to tell my daughter that if she does not listen to me, we can't do fun things. So if she would run into the street, we go straight home. And I did - once. That was all it took. I think we missed story time or something. Someone told me that when her son ran into the street, she found a bug on the sidewalk, stomped on it and said "THAT'S what happens to little boys who run into the street!!" I thought that might have been traumatizing, but it worked for her.

After my baby was born, my older daughter was required to hold onto the handles of the stroller when we were walking with the baby in the stroller.

S., you can NEVER trust a child to know what a danger a street is. Never and I mean never let her out with out you holding her hand. She may need a harness if it's too hard to keep her under your hand. I think they are horrible, but I was freaked out when I saw your question.
She won't even get it that the box is equal to a person.
21 months is too young to know anything...that's why she is not getting the safety/danger of the street, driveway, seatbelt, etc... good luck and take your time. D.

The word "danger" should not be used lightly. Only when she could get hurt.

Try the harness, she might not be old enough to "get out".

This is very important and you should use consequences if rules are broken.
She needs to know you are very serious... And that Mommy and Daddy follow these rules too.

Growing up, My parents knew a couple who's child was ran over by a car in their front yard.
They lived on a busy street. He was wheelchair bound and Parapalegic for the rest of their lives. Very sad story.

Somehow, you need to scare her enough to be safe. Let her talk to a Police officer.

M.

You just might have to use a "toddler harness" on her... it's for her safety AND yours... a hurt child or pregnant Mom. What if you fall while chasing her out into the driveway, or from the car back into the house? You might just have to use it from your house until you get to the car and visa versa, then take it off. But you have to tell her the purpose of it.
And if she screams, then so be it. That is better than having a child run over by a car or you getting injured.... and pregnant.

They have the toddler harnesses on Amazon.com it's real cute, with animal motifs... I got one for my son. For some kids, it's Very necessary...it is NOT mean. It is for safety.

Or, there are driveway safety gates I believe... just try research it online.

Kids this age do NOT have impulse control... so even if you "lecture" her about it or make examples for her, it will STILL be a safety hazard and she WILL do it again. Keep this in mind. They are not yet mature enough, emotionally or impulse wise, to just "stop" at will, even if a car is oncoming. AND, you cannot just assume that it will stop... children are VERY impulsive, quick, fast, and can disappear before our eyes...

Best to be safe, than sorry, and use ANY safety devices you can. Do not second guess a toddlers reflexes and "self-control"...they are not old enough yet.

Good luck
Susan

Put a leash on her. There is no time to teach her how to respond to the commands. There are harnesses that work real well and she must be trained right now. If you lost her you would feel awful!!

My son went through a stage of this also and he too thought it was funny. I guess he liked getting a strong reaction, even though it was negative. Anyway, in our case, it usually happened when he was playing outside or going to our car from the house. We would immediately pick him up, strongly say "No Street", and then bring him back into the house. After missing out on an outing or playing outside a few times, the street was no longer as attractive to him.

what i would do is rent some car crash dvd's..and show her car crashes..my 2 1/2 year old was always running off from me..so..i tivo'd "prehistoric planet" and showed him dinosaurs...then when we go hiking and he runs off i call out.."dinosaurs" and he comes running back..i had to teach him fear to protect him..he's really agile and fast and just thought it was so funny to bolt off from me..now he doesn't. We have to teach them fear sometimes to protect them..i always tell him to hold my hand when we cross the street and i tell him it's b/c he's smaller than me and cars can't see him but they can see me.

S.
Get one of those fuzzy animal back-pack leashes. She is to wear it every time she walks to or from the car, near a street, or through a parking lot. This is a natural phase at this age and unfortunately she is learning she can out run you right now. This way she consistantly is not allowed to dart off (she will be unable to) and you will be sure she will not get hurt.
Good luck!
T.

They have those backpacks that have a long handle or a "leash". Make her put it on every time you go out to the car. After a while you can graduate to some type of long ribbon. this will reinforce the fact that she has to stay next to you. Eventually, she will not need it at all.
Thats what I would do. You can't take a chance, you need to find a way to keep her next to you at all times!!!
Good luck!

I think you should get one of the "leashes" that they make for kids. They have stuffed animals that go on like a backpack, plain ones, etc. It seems crazy, but I just wouldn't run the risk, especially as you get larger. She may protest, but I'ld have her wear it outside until she starts following the rule. I've used them for traveling, my daughter didn't mind when she was little, but my son hates it. I think running over a box is a good idea. I don't think it will traumatize her. She may not make the connection, but it is worth a shot.

My own personal opinion is it may be helpful. Some kids see things and they learn from it and others it bothers.
You might want to just give her a consequence for her breaking the rule of running into the street. And then explain her punishment.

My daughter opened the door by herself and went outside when she was a toddler while I was sleeping, and I can relate it's very scary.

Good luck.
E.

I would try the box idea. If it scares her, then good. That's what you want. She obviously isn't listening now. When my kids wanted to run into the street, I scared them so they wouldn't just run into it. That includes parking lots. I call these streets too because drivers are not always safe in the parking lots. If scaring her doesn't work then I'd get a toddler leash or make her ride in a stroller so that she can't just run. Iff she doesn't like it you just tell her that when she chooses to stay with you and out of the street then she would be able to walk on her own again. If scaring her keeps her from being hit by a car then do it.

I suggest getting a blow-up doll or something that looks more human and throw it in front of your husbands car. I bet she'll get the point after that! I don't think it will traumatize her. She'll just be very cautious when crossing the street and will only cross while holding your hand.

OMG I would have a FIT.
Take things away from her she likes...things very important to her. Do this EVERY TIME and tell her immediately when she runs in the street.
I would not be so descriptive and give her the attention she is getting every time, like your husband maybe showing her wha happens. Dont give her a SECOND of the attention she's getting from this horrid behavior. That's why she's doing it you know...it's negative attention but it's attention, and she needs to be punished. If it takes postponing wherever your going or what you're doing, take her directly to her room and shut her in, with taking something away that she likes. Do this IMMEDIATELY when she runs. She'll quickly figure it out after a couple of times.

Let me know! Really!
Wendy

My 4 year old daughter used to do this EVERYWHERE!!!! It is something they grow out of by 3. I was also pregnant again at the time when she continued to run everywhere, and just made sure to have a close eye on her and hold her hand basically all of the time. Staying near her and not letting her get far enough that you couldn't run over to her in a few seconds is a good idea, too. She would even run from the park down a hill to get to the street which wasn't that close, so I can sympathize...but don't worry it won't last forever:)