We know for a fact that my step son is selling drugs, he admitted it. I'm so angry about this and really don't want him around. My
husband isn't happy about it, but acts like nothing happened. He takes him to the movies, golfing, dinner, lunch and I feel he needs to
stop with all that. His thing is that that is how he shows his love, but I said, but you also are showing him that what he is doing doesn't
matter, doesn't change anything. Please help me, am I wrong to think that he can show his love by talking to him, but not "rewarding" him until he stops doing this, which he won't because he doesn't think there is anything wrong with it. I'm so angry, I feel like my head is going to pop off! Thanks in advance for any responses.
Im not sure how to answer to people's comments!?! My SS is 20 and I agree that my husband would rather treat him like a friend than face the problem.
stopping showing affection is probably not going to be the way to make him stop selling drugs. I would sort out a different way, and maybe its time to call the authorities in on it before its too late. Knowing he is a criminal makes you two criminals as well.
Police exist for a reason.
Ugh. I'm sorry. :(
Your husband needs to realize that if drugs are found in HIS home, he is held responsible.
Very few drug dealers don't use. Again I'm sorry.
Your stepson needs a program.
NA might be a good place but in the meantime, you can go to NarAnon.
They can help you plan your actions.
That's a deal breaker for me. Legal separation.
Call the Cops.
You can do so anonymously.
Your Husband is in total denial, he is allowing his son to be a CRIMINAL.
Don't you all realize, that he is a criminal?
Does he live with you?
Or on his own?
If he lives in your home... then you all are accomplices... and that is illegal. And since he is a DRUG Dealer, and if he lives with you... then there are drugs, IN your home.
What a train wreck.
And, if he is selling drugs to kids, MINORS, what the hell?
You are all, accomplices.
Your Husband is putting you in danger.
You need to have a long HARD talk, with your Husband.
His son, is a low life Drug Dealer... and he thinks that's okay?
Is he living with you? If he is, you had better get to a lawyer and ask the hard question of what legal quagmire you and your husband could be in if indeed this young man is really selling drugs.
Perhaps if your husband finds out that he could lose everything because of his son's behavior under his roof, you could get somewhere with him.
Your husband is enabling his son's behavior. Your SS needs help. I had friends who ignored this behavior and believed their son when he said he was "just delivering" not actually using. It wasn't until he was arrested, beaten up by the higher up dealers, and in the throes of full blown addiction that anyone stepped up to do the right thing. The kid didn't finish high school, is in his second stint at rehab, and has lost tremendous opportunities.
If your SS is involved with drug dealers, you and your family are at risk, and your possessions are likely to be stolen to pay drug debts.
A member of my husband's family was similarly involved, and we banned her from coming here because we had a child, Grandma's silver, and so on. We did meet ON OCCASION in public places where we could see if she was followed (drug dealers are also often in gangs - this one was, with many arrests, firearms, etc.) and we always took phone calls, but we could not risk the hard-core people knowing who we are and where we lived.
You and your husband have to get on the same page, or you have to turn your SS in to the authorities. If your husband thinks his son will stop this if he gets to play enough golf, he's sadly mistaken. Short term, join a support group like Al-anon or Narc-anon to learn how to cope. It will give you strategies that work and help identify those that don't, and also acquaint you with laws, resources, and consequences.
Wow Gamma, first, I'm not a jealous wife, my husband is extremely good and loving to me! It's about my SS and how to go about this! There are ways of showing loving without buying and doing fun things with and for them!
I spoke to someone last night who is in the legal system, you can not just tell a cop your SS is doing or dealing without evidence, it's heresay! We have no proof! He also said that my SS could have just said that to get a rise out of us! "did you see the drugs","no", "did you see a deal going down", "no". "So how do you know it's true?"
